Reckless Faith

Jace remained perfectly still as Stephanie aimed her gun at his face. At least it was pointed toward him. He took another step forward, making sure to shield Elle with his body.

“It won’t bring him back,” he said quietly. “No matter what happens today, Dean will still be gone.”

“Shut up!” she shouted. “Don’t talk about him. Don’t even say his name!”

“Why not?”

Her eyes darkened. “Because you killed him!”

“That’s not true. I didn’t pull the trigger on the gun that took his life.”

“No, but you should have protected him and you didn’t, which is as good as pulling the trigger. You wrote it in that pathetic letter you sent his family.” She stepped forward, a wild look in her eyes. “I didn’t actually come here to kill you, you know. I didn’t have a plan at all. I just had to see the man Dean worshipped. The man who was right there when he died but did nothing.”

“So what changed?” he asked, needing to keep her talking until his brother found them.

“What changed is that I saw you with her. I saw the way you looked at her. The same way I looked at Dean. And it made me angry. So fucking angry! Because you got to keep the love of your life, while mine died because of you. That’s not fair!” she screeched. Then she took a deep breath, like she was trying to calm herself.

“Did you hire Boyd?” Jace asked.

Her eyes flared, and he had his answer before she said a word. “I found him through a friend. He did odd jobs for money. After I saw you together, I wanted you to feel the pain of losing her like when I lost Dean. But the moron fucked up. I knew he was right on the verge of being caught. I couldn’t risk him outing me, getting me arrested before she died. So I tampered with his car.”

“What about Casper?” Jace asked. “Why kill him?”

“I was aiming for her. He’d just smashed into her car and was chasing her into the woods. It would have been an easy out for me.” She shrugged. “He got in my way.”

“Don’t do this,” Elle whispered from behind him. “They’ll know it was you.”

She straightened, seeming to pull herself together. “I don’t care. I don’t care if I die or if I’m arrested. I just care about getting justice for Dean. I owe him that.”

Jace shook his head. “I tried to protect him, but an enemy combatant appeared from the other direction and—”

“And you let him die!” she yelled. “He was a person. A son. A brother. And I loved him. I really loved him…” Tears gathered in her eyes. “And he loved you. He trusted you. You should have had his back.”

“I think about that moment every day,” Jace said softly. “And every day I wish I could have protected him.”

Surprise flickered in her eyes before she blinked, her expression switching back to anger. “But you didn’t.”

“I couldn’t. It will be a permanent scar that I carry for the rest of my life. I’m sorry.”

This time she shook her head vigorously, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Don’t. I don’t want you to be sorry. I want you to pay. To feel the pain that I felt when I lost him. I want you to feel like your insides have been torn out and the ground beneath your feet has crumbled. I want you to hurt like I hurt!”

“I feel all of that,” he whispered. “I watched him die, and a piece of me died with him out there.”

More tears poured from her eyes. “It should have been you.”

“It could have been me. It could have been any of us on our team. There are no guarantees on a mission. Every time an airman leaves base, we know we might not come home. And Dean was aware of that.”

Her bottom lip trembled. “But he counted on you. He looked up to you. To all of you.”

“And he was like a brother to me. I lost a brother that day.”

The gun in her hand began to shake.

Eastern stepped into the room behind her. “Put the gun down, Stephanie.”

She jumped at the sound of Eastern’s voice but didn’t lower her weapon. She shook her head. “No. I need to finish what I started. I need her to die like Dean died. It’s the only way for me to get closure.” There was less conviction in her voice now though.

“You don’t need to do anything,” Jace said quietly. “Dean’s gone, and no matter what either of us do, nothing will bring him back or take away the pain of losing him.”

She frowned, and it almost seemed like she was stuck, unsure what to do.

He stepped forward. “Dean wouldn’t want this. You know that. Lower the gun, Stephanie.”

Her chest started to tremble, the air loud on every inhale and exhale.

“Dean would want you to put the gun down,” Jace pleaded.

One more beat of silence…and her face crumpled before she dropped to her knees and began to cry. Loud, pained sobs. The second the gun left her hands, Eastern holstered his weapon and moved forward.

As he handcuffed Stephanie, Jace holstered his own Glock and turned before taking the gun from Elle’s fingers and setting it back in the safe.

Then he cupped her cheeks. “Are you all right?”

She nodded quickly, her gaze flickering between his eyes. “Are you?”

Hell no. He didn’t feel close to all right. But she was alive.

“I will be.” He tugged her into his chest, letting her breathe a semblance of peace back into him.

Elle leaned against the back of the ambulance as a paramedic checked her cuts. She wasn’t focused on what he was doing though. All her focus remained on Jace, who stood several yards away with two officers.

He was giving his version of events. She’d already told hers. It felt surreal, like she was retelling a story that wasn’t her own. Because this sort of stuff didn’t happen to her. She didn’t get run off the road and attacked and shot at. That was the stuff of movies.

Except today it wasn’t. Today it was her life.

She’d told the officers about her aunt, and Eastern had sent a deputy over to her house. They’d found Jewel passed out with a head injury, and she was now in the hospital with a concussion and lots of bruises.

Guilt swamped Elle. Guilt and worry. All she wanted to do was go to her. Make sure she was okay.

“Okay, Miss Marshal, cuts have been cleaned and bandaged. You’re okay to go when you’re ready.”

She gave the paramedic a small smile. “Thank you.” She’d known she was fine, but after crashing her car, Jace and Eastern had pushed for her to be looked over by paramedics for the small scrapes and bruises.

She itched to go over to Jace, but he was still talking to deputies, so instead she moved to the steps at the front of his house. The second she started walking, Jace’s gaze shifted to her. It was so intense that she swore she could feel it.

As much as today had been a lot for her, it had been even more for him. He’d had to relive one of the hardest moments of his life—losing a teammate.

God, her heart hurt for him when Stephanie had accused him of killing Dean. When he’d revealed what Dean’s death had done to him, and his wish that he’d been able to do more. She’d known, he’d said it before, but today there’d been so much raw emotion in his words.

It wasn’t his fault. It had never been his fault. And she’d remind him of that every day if he needed her to.

The ambulance left, and Elle watched as Jace shook the officers’ hands before they left too.

She rose from the steps as Jace made his way toward her. Immediately, he pressed his temple to hers, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “I’m so glad that’s over.”

She studied him. “I’m sorry about everything.”

A muscle pulsed in his jaw. He was still hurting. Would probably hurt for a long while.

She cupped his cheek, needing him to look at her. When those beautiful blue eyes collided with hers, she frowned. “You know that she was in pain, right? She needed someone to blame, and you were the easiest target. Nothing about what happened to Dean is your fault. It’s never been your fault.”

He turned his head and kissed her palm. “His death will always feel like a wound I can’t stitch back together. And for a long time, that wound hurt more because, just like Stephanie, I needed someone to blame, and that someone was me.” His gaze bored into her. “But you’re right, his death wasn’t my fault. It was a tragedy…but it wasn’t my fault.”

Thank God. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close.

He held her back, his chin resting on her head.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” he whispered.

“Me too.” Glad they were both safe. “I need to get to the hospital to see Aunt Jewel.”

He nodded before lifting his head, studying her. “I’m so fucking angry about Casper.”

She swallowed. Jace was with her when she’d told the officers about Casper crashing into her car. About the things he’d said…the way he’d tried to touch her.

She hated to think what might have happened if Stephanie hadn’t shot him.

“He was high on something. I’m not saying he deserved what happened to him, but he certainly didn’t do himself any favors.”

It was kind of strange how Stephanie had inadvertently ended up saving her from him. The fine hairs on her arms stood on end. She didn’t want to think about any of that.

Jace’s arms tightened around her, his eyes narrowing at her shudder. “Maybe we should leave the visit of your aunt until tomorrow. Rest for a bit.”

She shook her head. “No. I need to see her. Besides, as long as you’re by my side, I’ll be just fine.”

He frowned. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. All I need is you, Jace. All I’ve ever needed is you.”