Reckless Faith

She was too quiet. Had been quiet since they’d left the café.

The hum of the engine was the only sound in the car. He hated it. Which was fucking hypocritical, because it was he who’d been quiet the last few days while he’d been obsessing over every little thing. But now, with her barely speaking to him, it made him want to take back all those wasted moments. Talk to her about anything and everything.

He slipped a hand over her thigh. He’d already tried to ask about Casper again, but so far hadn’t had any luck getting a straight answer out of her. She just kept telling him she didn’t want to talk about it. That what Casper had said didn’t matter.

But it did matter. Everything the asshole said mattered, because it clearly affected her.

He pulled into his driveway. He hadn’t even asked her which house they should go to, his or her apartment, they’d just started staying at his place most nights.

He climbed from the car and moved around to her side, scanning the area as he went. He’d been so damn on edge for weeks that keeping his head on a swivel had become the norm even now, when he wasn’t deployed.

When they stepped into the house, he turned the lock.

“Hungry?” he asked, moving to the kitchen. “I could make some gumbo?”

Her lips twitched. They’d once attempted gumbo as teenagers, and it had been a disaster, mostly because he’d refused to read the recipe and had thrown in whatever he liked.

“I’m not very hungry.” She slipped off her shoes. “I might jump into the shower really quick.”

Before he could respond, she turned and headed into their bedroom. He grabbed the edge of the counter, fingers tight as anger swam through his veins. What the hell had Casper said to her?

He tried to busy himself in the kitchen and living area, but his gaze kept shifting back to the bedroom door. Ten minutes later, he gave up.

Screw it.

He crossed the space to the bedroom and walked straight through to the bathroom. The lights were dimmed, and Elle had her back to him, her face turned up to the water as she stood in the shower. He didn’t think about what he was doing, just moved on instinct, stripping off his clothes and stepping into the shower behind her.

When he slipped his arms around her waist, she gasped. “Jace! I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I need to know what’s going on in your head, Tink. What did he say? You’re killing me with your silence.”

She ran her fingers over his arm, taking a few breaths before she answered. “You’re going to think I’m being stupid.”

He kissed her shoulder. “If it upset you, it’s not stupid.”

There was a beat of silence as she dipped her chin to her chest. “Casper just made some stupid comments about you and me and…”

“And what?”

“And our relationship in high school. He reminded me of how many girls you dated that weren’t me, and how I looked back then.”

Every muscle in his body grew so tight, it was an effort to remain exactly where he was. To not turn, storm right out of the shower, and go find the asshole.

“Elle, look at me.”

She turned, her gray eyes burning into him.

“From the first day I laid eyes on you, I felt something stir inside me. I don’t even know how to describe it. It was this need to be around you. It was so strong that you were all I thought about that day. And you’ve been in my head every single day since. I didn’t think I was near good enough for you, but the stupid teenage version of me tried to have you without actually having you. That was my mistake. Now that we’re together, now that you’re mine, I can’t let you go. I am literally not capable of it.”

Tears burned her eyes. “Really?”

“You actually think I could live without you?”

“But these last few days, you’ve been so distant.”

“I have old insecurities too. About you being better off without me. About the people around me being hurt. But even in my darkest moments, I’m still too selfish to give you up.”

A tear fell down her cheek. “I can’t give you up either. But I think I get scared that one day I might have to.”

“Never. You’ll never have to.” He lowered his head and kissed the tear from her cheek. “I’d do it all over again, you know.”

“Do what?”

“Grow up with you. Torture myself just to be near you. Fall in love with you.”

Her intake of breath was sharp. “Love?”

He lifted his head, his gaze colliding with her. “Yeah, Tink. I love you. I’ve loved you for so long, and that love has become a part of me. I don’t know how to be without you in this world.”

Her hands moved over his chest, a tremble in her fingers, more tears in her eyes. “I love you too, Jace. I’ve tried not to love you for so long. I even tried to convince myself while you were gone that I didn’t. But I did. I’ve always loved you.”

A territorial growl ripped from his chest. He lifted her and turned, pressing her to the wall. “You’re the reason I came home, Elle. You’re my reason.”

She cupped his cheeks, pressing her forehead to his. “Thank you for returning to me.”

He kissed her. Once. Twice. Light grazes of mouth against mouth. On the third kiss, her lips separated, and he slipped his tongue inside, tasting her. Melding with her.

Her fingers threaded through his hair, her body grinding against him. So soft and all his. She’d become so achingly familiar to him, and as vital as the air he breathed.

He skimmed his hand over her body, finding her ample breast and cupping it. Grazing his thumb in a circular motion over her hard nipple.

She groaned, her core rubbing harder against him.

“I want to slip inside you so bad right now,” he whispered, the need consuming him.

She nipped his bottom lip before kissing across his cheek and whispering into his ear, “I’m on the pill. Take me, Jace. I’m yours.”

Fuck. With another growl, he positioned himself at her entrance. But before pushing inside, he ran his thumb over her clit.

She groaned, her head dropping into the nook of his shoulder. “Jace…”

He kept rubbing, until Elle tightened her legs around him, pressing his tip inside her.

A low, primal sound tore from his chest. “Elle…”

“Now, Jace. I need you now.”

Her words cut through that last bit of self-control, and he snapped, pushing inside her in one deep thrust.

Elle cried out, the sound so loud it echoed off the tiles. It was the first time there was no barrier between them, and it felt raw and intense and right.

She grabbed Jace’s shoulders, needing an anchor as he started to thrust. Long, deep thrusts, which pushed her right to the edge.

This wasn’t just sex. It was a million things. Love. Connection. A profound need to recapture every lost moment from the years they’d been apart.

Her hands ran up his neck, slipping into his hair and pulling. When he wrapped his lips around her nipple, she moaned, her head flinging back, the air barely making it to her lungs.

“Jace…” His name was a whisper on her lips. So achingly familiar. And hers. He was hers. And he loved her.

She’d told herself, begged herself, to let him go. To move on. But she never had. Not really. She’d loved him for so long that the feeling had ingrained itself into every part of her. It was rooted deep in every inch of her skin. This need to be with him and only him.

And finally she was.

His tongue ran over the peak of her nipple, releasing with a pop before moving to the other. All the while, his thrusts never stopped or slowed, the rhythmic motion driving her wild. She couldn’t stop the cries falling from her lips, hanging in the air and competing with the sound of water hitting tiles, flesh hitting flesh.

When it became too much, when she needed his mouth on hers, she tugged at his hair and drew him back to her. Immediately, she slid her tongue inside his mouth, her nails scraping at his skin as she tasted him.

He reached between them, once again rubbing her clit.

Oh, Jesus…he was everywhere.

Her breathing became choppy, her entire body burning. God, he set her on fire.

His thrusts went deeper. Harder. His thumb still moving over her clit. She wanted to hold on. To have him inside her, a part of her, for as long as possible.

But one more thrust and she fell. Tore apart in his arms while screaming his name.

Her entire body convulsed as he continued to thrust, prolonging the orgasm and forcing her world to narrow to just him.

When she had nothing left, her screams became whimpers, and that’s when Jace growled and broke along with her, his head lowering to her neck, his primal sounds so loud they rippled around the room, bouncing off walls, beating into her.

Then, finally, there was stillness, bar the rise and fall of their chests and the water raining down. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders, running her fingers through his wet hair, wanting to stay exactly where she was for as long as possible.

“God, I love you, Tink.” His words were muffled against her neck, but she heard them as if he’d shouted.

“Say it again,” she whispered.

He lifted his head, the air still rushing in and out of him as his gaze bore into her. “I love you.”

The emotion in her chest felt so big that it clogged her throat. She’d waited so long to hear him say that, dreamed about it. And it was everything she’d always known it would be. “I love you too, Jace Walker.”

He lowered his head, but he didn’t kiss her, he just touched his temple to hers. He was still inside her, linking them in the most intimate way, both taking a moment to recover from what had just taken place. To remind themselves that this was real, and they’d finally found their way to each other.