Reboot

The next moonless night was five days away so we headed off immediately. According to François’ best estimate, we were about four days away at full speed. During the trip we made all the preparations and went over the plan meticulously. We made two long ropes with two handles on it every two meters. One hundred meter ropes, two hundred handles, up to two hundred kids. Since we had no real idea how many there were, we decided to err on the side of “way the hell too many”. We didn’t think we could handle having to leave some behind. During the trip, we dealt with the tension by training. William and I did our Tai Chi thing in the morning. The crew slowly joined in. Johanna too. She took a place next to mine every day. Made concentration difficult, and brought smiles to William and Dutch. We looked like a yoga class in the park. After this particular session, Nicks sat across from me at my table. I was looking at the document I had translated. “Must be rough,” she said. She had this fascinating trait of looking right into your eyes when she talked, almost through them. Like she was talking directly to your brain. I knew exactly what she was talking about so I didn’t waste time with questions. “It’s very rough.” Then I looked at her. “I was the messenger, Nicks. I sent the message that started the war. Not easy to get over that.”

“Johanna,” she urged.

“What?” I felt like an eight year old around her.

“Please call me Johanna.”

“Ok, sorry… I’m a bit off today. This is messing with my head.”

“I think you’ll make it right.”

“Make what right? I can’t undo the war.” I felt sad and useless when talking about this.

“No, but you can bring justice to the people who are responsible. I have faith in you Robert Morgan.”

“You do? You hardly know me.”

“I have an eye for puzzles remember? And I think I can figure you out.”

“Tell me something about you. I’m sick of talking about me. What was it like for you in the Navy? For a woman.”

“I’d been in the navy for four years before the war. I had a talent for communications and codes. The Navy was a solid arena for me to grow in and I was ambitious. It was challenging for a little girl from the Midwest to be alone on a ship with so many lonely men. Professionalism was my shield. I had to make it very clear that the rule was “hands off”, and that rule was for everyone. Eventually they accepted me as one of their own. I wouldn’t change a thing. This ship is my home.”

And with that she smiled at me and left. I watched her go.

She wore floppy clothing to hide her curves. No need to rub it in, I guessed. And she kept her red hair tied up and hidden under a cap. I wondered if her rule applied to me too. I was a civilian after all. Over and over again, in my mind, I saw the way she’d looked at me after the elegant way I disposed of William and Dutch. I thought I had impressed her. I hoped anyway.

_______

The next day, I saw Nicks and William talking to each other while strolling on deck. They saw me looking at them and I jumped, like I’d been caught stealing a cookie. And then I made a show of looking as if I’d forgotten something and buggered off to my room to brood. But then I started to feel stupid so I went back up there and found William at our spot.

I sat down next to him, hanging off the side of the boat, arms over the protective wires there, staring at the waves.

“You like her?” William asked.

“Who?” I answered stupidly. Then I smiled at my own silliness.

William didn’t answer.

“Yes, of course. I have a thing for pretty nerdy types.”

“Nerdy types?”

“You know, cute, bit shy, glasses, bookworm, intelligent, tough, hard working and underneath all that…”

“What?”

“Volcano, William, volcano.”

“Yikes.”

“Small volcano anyway.” I smiled. “You like her too I think”.

“Well what’s not to like, but she’s not interested in me.” He said clapping me on the shoulder and pushing off of it to stand up. “Lemme know how it turns out.” And he left as Nicks joined us. “Hello Ms. Nicks.” William said politely as he was leaving.

“Hello lieutenant Hawksworth. Not leaving on my account I hope?”

“No, no, of course not, I have, um, to um, skfaadfganfsmf,” he mumbled.

She said “Hi Robert. Mind if I sit down?”

“Hi Nicks. Of course not. Please.”

“Joanna.”

“Joanna, yes. Sorry.”

And she sat down on the spot just vacated by William.

“You always sit here, the two of you.”

“Yes.”

“Why on this side of the boat and not the other?

“Good question. Dunno really. I think it’s only because we sat here the first day we came onboard. The seats are warm; and I swear the waves look better from this angle.”

She smiled. Looked sideways at me. There was a moment of silence. Then she moved a bit closer.

“Can I take a closer look at your eyes please?” she asked.

“I.. suppose.” I smiled back nervously.

She put a warm hand on my cheek and softly turned my head. Got real close. She had a perfect nose. I caught myself staring at it, which made me cross-eyed. I wish I could take that moment back.

“Your eyes are black. I’ve never seen that before,” she said, her head tilting to one side.

“They’re not actually black, just very dark brown. You like them then?” I asked smiling. I found it very easy to talk to her suddenly. There is a great moment in relationships. That moment when you both realize at the same time that you like each other. It’s a tipping point, and a hell of a relief. We’d just had that moment and it affected the mood. I breathed faster and I felt hot, and happy. I was afraid that I might be wrong or that it wouldn’t last. So many things… Hard to concentrate on her now.

“Yes,” and she turned to look at the waves again, biting her lower lip. “Where did you learn to fight like that? It was very impressive.” I blushed. “I started when I was very young, on and off, but I really think I’ve learned a lot from William and Dutch. They’re….curious about me I think. They want to see how far I can go. So they keep at me non-stop. It’s tiring.”

“You’re lucky to have them I think. That’s something.”

“No kidding. They’re amazing. I have my own real life G.I. Joes.”

“You must have always liked adventure, is that right?” she asked.

“I guess so. I’ve always been a traveller. I think I was born that way. I was a treasure hunter, you know?” She nodded. “But when a treasure is found, it’s no longer a treasure, right? I learned that the treasure is the hunt.”

“Tell me one. A treasure hunt that you did.”

“Ok. Um, here goes, I like this one. When I was four, I went for a drive. A very short drive. I worked out the lock on the fence that was supposed to keep me away from the street. I made it to my dad’s car. I opened the car door, it wasn’t locked, and I crawled up onto the seat, pulled on a couple of inviting levers and suddenly I was moving. I drove from the driveway to the very far end of the garage, which would have been fine except that the garage door was closed at the time. I’d played around with the clutch and handbrake until the car was set free and rolled down the slope that was our driveway. I couldn’t see. I was too short. But I felt it. I was moving forward. I had made the car move all by myself. I was going somewhere. But like all adventures, this one had to end, and it ended on the far-side concrete wall inside the garage after crashing through the door. And just to add a little colorful excitement, I squished a few cans of paint along the way, spraying the walls and ceiling a very groovy kaleidoscope with what was supposed to have been the colors for the new kitchen and kids’ rooms. Staying still was like being in a prison. Movement was a precarious gift, an extension of the bubble. My parents later told me that I enjoyed being “elsewhere”, both physically and mentally, and that I’d been put on this earth to stress them out. For some reason, I liked hearing that. It gave me purpose. I had a talent and I was certainly going to take advantage of it. Can’t waste a talent.”

She laughed.

“The upside with the garage incident was that we got to have a new car. I remember

my dad wasn’t all that mad at me. The car I’d just destroyed was an ugly dull brown. His next car was a nice red sports job with a big motor.“ She giggled again and it made me feel wonderful, even a bit light-headed. I watched her feet dangle over board. Nice feet, I thought. She pointed them towards the water, like a ballet dancer.

“So the treasure there was the short drive?”

“Absolutely.”

We said nothing for a while.

“How does it feel?” She asked.

“What”?

“You’re about to go on the mainland and declare war on the government of the United States. That’s no small thing.”

“I try not to think about it. It makes no sense to me. Maybe later it’ll sink in. But yes, I’m scared to death. But please, not now. I don’t want to talk about that. It’s all everyone ever talks about these days. Tell me something more you. I know absolutely nothing.”

“What do you want to know?” Her eyes crinkled.

“What makes you happy?”

“Oh, is that all…. Lemme think…. OK, here goes.” She put more weight on her hands as her legs dangled over the side. She looked a bit shy. Her chin went down to rest on her throat while she thought about her answer. “I like getting dirty in a garden. I like shopping for fresh food at a farmer’s market. I like cooking with someone I love. I like big dogs.” She smiled at that one. “I like running. I could run forever. I like gummy bears. I love them. I like pretty hands.” She looked at mine. I looked at them too.

What is it with women and hands?

“I think you’ll do fine. What William and Dutch see in you… ” She interrupted herself and stood up and held out her hand. I grabbed it and she pulled me up. Strong I thought.

And then she didn’t let go.

“…I see it too,” she continued with that beautiful smile, and took me inside. That smile just killed me. I was hooked.

Once in her room, I was expecting some awkward small talk, but she just turned around, grabbed me by the front of my shirt with both hands, popped a couple of my buttons, pulled me towards her and kissed me roughly while simultaneously walking forward, pushing me back against the wall, moaning softly all the way. Joanna was not someone to waste time.

Before I could slow us down though, I lost my footing and she slammed me pretty hard on the metal wall. A little too hard in fact. It made a noise like a ping from a submarine and shocked her sideways out of her mood. Our mood.

“Ouch!” I moaned.

I grabbed my head and slowly slid down the wall, dazed. She was mortified and I was dizzy.

She ran off to get ice and a towel while muttering apologies and curses and came back quickly to tend to my cut that was now bleeding all over me. A head cut bleeds a lot. It wasn’t serious, just a small cut, but I was enjoying the attention so much, watching her run around with a dumb smile on my face. I think I may have exaggerated the pain a bit.

She was absolutely adorable. I smiled and just looked at her dreamily. She didn’t notice.

She put the ice in the towel and dabbed it on my head while apologizing profusely, what an idiot she was, how sorry she was, how bad she felt. Her breasts were dangling beautifully right in front of my nose while she was tending to my cut. She had a very slight golden necklace with a little bear in the middle. It was bouncing lightly on her sweaty skin. It looked so soft. I licked my lips.

“I don’t know what’s the matter with me. I’m so sorry. You must think I’m nuts. Are you ok? You’ll be ok. Right? Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit…”

But after a few seconds of that, I delicately took her cheeks with my hands and brought her back towards me slowly, very slowly. I kissed her softly while moving my hand to the back of her neck and she breathed out in relief and moaned deliciously, her shoulders slumping down when all that stress evaporated at once. Her moans were like sighs of immense relief. What had started out as a wild rodeo was now all feathers and fluff and the switch made it even better, hotter, tighter.

And, no doubt, it lasted longer. There is another beautiful moment. When a woman makes that decision to drop her defenses. When she makes her choice and offers her trust to a man. That moment when the decision is taken. There is a lifetime in that moment.

I undid each of her buttons as slowly as I could. When they popped open, she breathed out a little quick breath. When the last button popped, the breath became a low, soft song.

I woke up the next morning before her and toyed with her beautiful red hair until she smiled. Very lightly, I played with that little slope under her ear lobe. The soft hairs there. She kept her eyes closed the whole time, like she was dreaming. I was facing her, resting my head next to hers.

Very close.

She smelled like berries now.

She started talking. She had smoker’s voice in the morning. Even though she didn’t smoke. Like she’d been singing the entire day before.

“If I open my eyes, you’ll disappear.”

“Better keep them closed then.” I answered. She giggled and kept her eyes closed as I kept on with my exploring.

“Tell me a story,” she whispered. Her breath was delicious. Her lips soft. Difficult to stay away. Her eyes were still closed.

“What kind of story?” And I kissed those lips before she answered.

“ A nice one, with a good ending. Something about you.”

“Mmmm, ok.” I put my mouth near her neck and starting talking. It tickled her, but she moaned and laughed softly.

“A long time ago, there was this beautiful girl with green eyes who …” And that’s as far as I got.