Reboot

“Did you guys see my knife? It had a wooden handle, about this big.”

“No Robert.”

“Are you sure you had it? Maybe it sank with the boat?”

“No, no… It was the first thing I took. Ah, never mind. I must’ve dropped it somewhere. I’ll find it. Tell me, what do you miss Stan?” We were sitting around a fire, enjoying a nice dinner of canned beans, drying our socks on a string hanging over the flames, our feet near the heat, oblivious to anything else around us.

“Cycling. I used to go to work on my bike every day.”

“Ugh, I hated it. Hurt my ass.” I was never much for cycling.

“Theatre; if it was funny,” continued Oliver. We were sitting on the beach, eating a picnic composed mostly of fruits that we’d found on the island. Oliver’s nose was completely pink and we’d had to cover his legs because they were getting dangerously red. We were flaking all over the place.

“Ballet,” said Stan.

“I don’t miss ballet,” added Oliver.

“You never had any class,” concluded his friend.

“My desk,” I said.

“OK, that I can see. My desk was my whole life,” said Stan.

“Belts,” said Oliver as he looked at his pants. I chuckled.

“Newspapers.”

“Swimming in a cold lake.”

“Nachos.”

“Sauna.”

“Smoothies.”

“Cappuccinos.”

“Dogs.”

“Snow.”

“Laughter.” Stan said sadly.

“OK, things you don’t miss.”

“Keys,” said Stan.

“What’s wrong with keys?”

“I always lost them and could never figure out what hole they were for.”

“Early mornings; it’s just wrong, ruins your whole day.”

“I love early mornings.”

“I only like them when I don’t have to work,” Stan said.

“The word meal,” I said. “We now have the opportunity and the duty to eradicate that word. The word “moist” too.”

“You are strange my friend Robert.”

“Parades. They’re too sloooow, and too many people. I hate crowds. I did anyway. Wouldn’t mind one now I guess.” Everyone nodded.

“Subways. They’re depressing.”

“I got my best work done in subways,” said Oliver.

“Zoos. Every animal in there is IN JAIL!”

“True, true..”

“Ties. Does anyone actually enjoy wearing a tie?”

“No. I think we’ll all agree on that one.”

“Cross country skiing. It’s endless,” I said.

“Oh come now. It’s a great sport,” said one of the Scandinavians.

“Keep it.”

“Camembert. I hate the word more than the cheese,” added Oliver.