Raze the Night (Nightstar Book 2)

For days, Ainreth had been talking to the protesters, trying to figure out how to help them out. It gave him some reason to get up in the morning. It was nice. Because the only other thing he had going on was regretting everything he’d said to Fennrin.

He really hoped they could make a difference and bring him home. Fennrin would probably be annoyed with him, and more than likely hurt, but they could move on from this, surely.

“Are you sure you want me giving a speech?” Ain asked Anyri, dubious.

He knew this would be part of it. It made sense to have him give a speech. He was a former general who had been involved in this war, and a popular public figure. People would listen to him, and the Court would have to deal with it somehow.

But he was so blighted awful at speeches.

“Look, just speak from the heart. You’re good at that,” Anyri said, smiling. She apparently had much more faith in him than he did in himself. “Like you spoke in that meeting room. I don’t think it makes sense for you to prepare a speech. Just say what comes to mind.”

Ainreth shrugged. If she didn’t mind him potentially messing this up, then he saw no problem with it. And yet he felt anxious.

He had never been anxious about public speaking. It felt as though no matter what he said, people ate it up. But now he actually cared about the results. Cared about the whole thing. This wasn’t just some speech Varilik was making him give. He wanted this to work so Fenn would come back to him.

He nodded to himself. It would be fine. He would be fine. He could do this.

“All right. Let’s do this, I suppose,” Ainreth said, walking toward the little stage the protesters had set up on the main square. The thing was made up of planks, about six feet tall, with wood steps leading up to it. It was so similar to the one he’d given a speech on during last Dragonrise. But somehow it was completely different. It felt different. Maybe because he had agency in being here this time.

The crowd of people who have gathered on the square was eagerly watching him approach the lectern. It was always so amusing to see it. That was where his speech notes should go, but he never made any ever. It wasn’t even laziness. He simply couldn’t put anything good on paper even when he really tried, and whatever he could come up with was usually ignored when he actually started talking.

He scanned his eyes over the crowd, seeing the usual mix of hope, frustration and deep concern. It was very familiar by now.

“Hi, everyone,” he started, not all that interested in making this speech particularly original or awe-inspiring.

Despite the lackluster start, people cheered and whooped anyway, prompting Ain to wave at them.

“Look, we all know why we’re here. This war can’t keep going the way it is, no matter how successful it’s being.”

Ainreth knew he was just repeating everything that had been said before, but there was little more to be said. He decided not to worry about and just kept going, and not worry about that. Especially after glancing over at Anyri who nodded and smiled encouragingly.

“My boyfriend can kick Orinovan asses but that doesn’t mean he should have to.” Ain grimaced internally. At least he hoped they were still dating. “And neither should all your loved ones out there in Orinovo. There must be a different solution here than war. Varilik is using the situation.”

A few people cried their agreements, others whooping or nodding along. It was good that these people liked what he was saying, but it made him sort of sad as well. There was so much unhappiness and worry radiating off these people. All because a couple of misborns decided to fight over ego.

“I was told by the Arbiter that our protests are working. They didn’t sound happy about it, but that’s besides the point,” Ain said, snorting, unable not to find humor in their irritation. “The point is that what we’re doing has an effect. Which means that hopefully Varilik will have to get back here soon to try to calm things down instead of pushing to conquer more of Orinovo.”

This time more cheers followed, some people smiling approvingly. It was quite impressive how much stress this was putting the Court under. In an ideal world, Ainreth wouldn’t want to cause problems for anyone who didn’t deserve it, and while the Arbiter was debatable there, Mhalyn certainly didn’t deserve it. But this was not an ideal world.

“So we just keep going. And when he shows up, we negotiate with—”

Ainreth paused when he noticed what looked like a carriage flying in the sky above the city. What in the moon….?

Ain squinted, trying to see better, only to notice two people sitting on top of the carriage, arms spread out, making the whole thing fly toward the palace.

“And it seems he maybe just did,” Ain said, blinking. This was new. But it made sense. They should be utilizing windwalkers more, but there weren’t many of them, unfortunately.

The people below were now yelling at him to go make demands of Varilik. At least that was what Ain had picked up on. It was hard to hear when everyone was talking over everyone else, but he did agree with them. There was no reason to waste time.

He walked over to Anyri, who immediately started leading him to Tyr-Haran, who had been standing off the side of the stage.

“Let’s go,” Anyri said in a very serious tone of voice, full of determination. Even from what he’d seen of Anyri’s newfound seriousness, this was a lot. But he just nodded, following her through the crowd and heading up to the palace. Even if this wasn’t Varilik, Ainreth wanted to know what by the sun was happening.

As usual, the walk up all the way to the palace took far too long, but even before they got to the palace itself, Ain could hear Varilik’s gratingly patient voice. It became clear who he was talking to when they rounded a corner and saw a group of people who had been protesting up here, it seemed.

Ainreth had probably been told about that, and he’d just forgotten. It was hard to keep track of this entire operation. He was very glad he wasn’t doing the organizing.

He wanted to go confront Varilik immediately, but he stopped when he saw Fenn standing next to him, looking very much out of his element.

Ainreth started to rush to him, but when Fenn locked his eyes with Ain’s, he froze. Fennrin’s face was immediately upset, his eyes shining with hurt. Ainreth grimaced. That was to be expected, he supposed. But he’d been hoping that the letter he’d sent would smooth some thing over.

He gestured to him that he wanted to talk to him. Fennrin seemed to hesitate, grimacing. But before Ain’s heart could break at his boyfriend not even wanting to talk with him, Fenn whispered something to the Herald, who nodded before continuing to talk to the crowd. And Fennrin started to make his way over to him.

“Fenn,” Ain breathed, making a move to hug him, but Fennrin shook his head, a frown on his face that was equally as sad as it was angry.

“No. I…I can’t.”

Ainreth flinched. It was this bad? “What do you mean you can’t?”

“I mean that I don’t want to be hugged by you right now,” he hissed, now straight up angry, walking closer to a nearby building, away from the ears of the protesters. Ainreth followed, his heart clenching painfully.

“Liri—”

Fennrin pointed his finger at him, promptly shutting him up. “You broke up with me. Why are you calling me that?”

Ainreth’s eyes widened. “Wait, no, I did a stupid thing when angry. I didn’t….” Except he had, hadn’t he? That was exactly what he’d done. “Look, did you read the letter I sent you? I explained—”

“Letter?” Fennrin frowned. “I didn’t get any letter.”

Ainreth groaned, cursing the windwalker courier who had been trusted with it under his breath.

“Well, I did send one,” Ain said weakly, sighing and shaking his head. “Look, it doesn’t matter. All I wrote in that letter was that I didn’t mean what I said.”

But Fennrin just shook his head. “I believe you. But the fact that you immediately assumed the worst…. I think…. I think we shouldn’t be together for a while.”

Ainreth’s heart clenches more, his eyes stinging. He knew he deserved this. He hadn’t acted good to Fennrin at all. But how could he possibly fix this?

“I need some time to think,” Fenn said, his head hung low. Clearly he wasn’t happy about this either. But if he needed time, he would get it. No matter how much Ain wanted to plead with him, Fenn deserved this much.

“Oh. Okay.” Ainreth grimaced, thinking. “But we live together. Where will you—”

“I’ll worry about that later. Right now I need to clean up the mess you’re helping cause,” Fenn said, huffing, but his eyes were still too sad to look properly angry.

“Mess I’m helping— Oh, the protests. Yeah, I was hoping they’d bring you back home,” Ain said, so relieved it had worked, and it had very quickly, as well.

Fennrin bulged out his eyes at him. And only then did Ain realize that maybe he shouldn’t have said that.

“You….” He gaped for a bit before glaring and gritting his teeth. “I am needed on the battlefield. Especially now that you aren’t there to help our soldiers.”

Ainreth grimaced, his shoulders sinking. “I just…I want you to be safe. Here. With me. This war shouldn’t keep going. Varilik just wants—”

“This isn’t about what Daryan wants, Ain,” Fennrin grumbled, rubbing his suddenly glassy eyes. “It’s what you want. And what you want is me doing whatever you are doing. Because the great Daybreaker always gets what he want, doesn’t he?”

“What?!” Ain stared at him in absolutely bafflement. “That’s not true.”

“It isn’t?” Fennrin glared at him. “Every time we disagreed, you disregarded my opinions. And then you didn’t even trust me enough to know I wouldn’t cheat on you.”

Ainreth cringed. That had not been a good moment for him, but he wasn’t sure how to fix it. He couldn’t go back and change it. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. I don’t trust Varilik.”

Fennrin frowned, staring at him for a moment. “What are you even….” He huffed. “Are you implying that you thought Daryan would make me cheat on you? Sunder, Ain!”

Ainreth shuddered at the thought of Varilik touching his Fenn in any context, but that one in particular just made him sick. “No, I….”

He really had thought Fenn could have been seduced into this, hadn’t he? And that was very bad. It meant that, even if Ain wouldn’t have blamed him, he didn’t trust Fenn deep down when he’d been nothing but faithful. And now Ain was paying the just price for it.

Sun, he was an idiot. Just such an idiot.

“Well, then what are you saying, exactly?” Fennrin huffed some more, clearly ticked off. This was going so much worse than he’d thought it would.

“I…. I don’t know,” Ainreth admitted, sighing. There was no making this seem better than it was, and he should stop trying. “I’m just sorry for what I said. I didn’t…I don’t want to break up.”

Fennrin sighed, his eyes sad now as he hung his head a little. “Well, maybe we should. For a while, at least.”

“You need time. Yeah.” Ainreth’s heart hurt, but he got it. He owed Fennrin this. “Okay.” Tears stung his eyes, making him blink rapidly so he avoids crying.

Fenn stared at him for a moment, as if waiting for him to change his mind, but then he nodded. “Okay, thank you. I just…I need to think.”

“Right.” Ain swallowed thickly. “Right.”

Fennrin nodded again, avoiding his gaze. “I wish you didn’t do this.” He sighed. “Orinovo could attack our soldiers, our new territory, and now I won’t be there to help.”

Ainreth frowned. He decided not to say that he was glad about that because like this Fenn wasn’t in any danger. It wasn’t going to help right now.

“I can’t be in support of something I don’t believe in,” Ainreth said. “And this war is just an excuse.”

“The threat is real,” Fennrin argued, groaning tiredly. “You know this.”

“Yeah, but since when do we have to deal with it by going to war with Orinovo. We could send some operatives instead of our army. People don’t have to die. They didn’t sign up for this.”

Fennrin scowled at him. “Perhaps someone didn’t. But we are winning.” Horrifyingly, Fenn smiled slightly then. “That last battle was simply so…. We won so completely. I’m confident we could get to Diramisk in one more month.”

“Varilik say that, huh?” Ain immediately grumbled, and Fenn narrowed his eyes at him.

“No. But of course that’s what your reaction is,” he huffed, folding his arms. “It’s always about Daryan with you. Because I couldn’t possibly know anything on my own. All I know is what other people tell me.”

He turned around and started walking away.

“Wait, Fenn, that’s not….”

But Fennrin had already stormed off, joining Varilik’s side. That misborn. Maybe he was being paranoid, but Ainreth could almost feel his involvement in this. He had somehow caused this. Sun knew what he’d filled Fenn’s head in the days Ain hadn’t been there.

Ainreth just stood there, not sure what to do next. Clearly, Fenn didn’t want to talk anymore, so he couldn’t force him to. Maybe he needed to give him some time before trying to talk to him again. He just hoped that Fenn would be willing to talk before he left for Orinovo again.

Ainreth didn’t want him to ever return there, but he seemed very determined to go fight again for reasons Ainreth didn’t understand at all.

He would just have to find a way to get Fennrin to give him a chance again and listen to him.

This couldn’t be the end. Ainreth wouldn’t let it be one.