Racing Hearts (Hollows Garage Book 3)

Jax and I had barely spoken since the night at the races. We had made it two days now with only one word answers, and both of us stopping ourselves when we went to talk more.

At one point last night, he went to put on a movie and only pointed at the tv to ask if I wanted to watch it. I had nodded back, and that had been our entire conversation.

I had spent years in my house talking as little as possible, but now, not talking to Jax was one step away from torture. I wanted to tell him about what I wanted to cook. I wanted to ask about his chest. I wanted to hear how my truck was and hear him tell me about the crew or what ridiculous thing one of them said that day. I was getting so used to sitting together every morning that I actually missed it. My truck still wasn’t done, but I was asking about it less and less.

Especially considering he brought me a cup of coffee every single morning, which was pretty much a dream come true.

I wanted to hit my head against the wall as I realized that I missed the person that I was living with.

My phone chimed as more texts came through on the group chat, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything on it. I had noticed Jax was texting on it more, though. Sending photos and funny comments throughout the day, and I was pathetically hoping they were actually for me.

I didn’t think we were fighting each other necessarily, but we had both agreed to keep our distance and seemed to be sticking to that.

It sucked.

It took me the entire day yesterday just to unravel my thoughts and all morning today to realize how badly I handled my freak out. I wasn’t wrong in knowing that I needed to put a little distance between us, but he wasn’t doing anything wrong. It’s more that he was doing everything right.

I still hadn’t told him about the laptop, and each day that went on only made me feel more guilty about it. I thought I knew most of what was on that laptop, files and files of paperwork that would show the cars they stole, and who they sold them to. It was Slaughter’s way of keeping track of his ‘business’ and his clients. It was information he wouldn’t share with anyone else, even the guys at his shop, because it was too incriminating.

I was putting them all in a position that could get them hurt, and I hated it. Then, when I thought I could possibly be forced back to help Slaughter, I freaked out and took it out on the one person who seemed willing to do anything to help me.

And the forever-helpful Jax even gave me the space I asked for, and I hated that part more than I expected.

I was hoping that an apology and a really, really good dinner might make things go back to normal for us, but it all went to hell halfway through cooking.

I had opened a can of tomato puree to make sauce when it slipped and crashed to the floor, covering it in red. Of course Riot heard the can drop and came in, grabbing the can and running around the apartment. Before I even had a chance to catch him, he shook his head, red splattering over the front door and everything in a five-foot radius. I watched in horror until he slowed, knowing that chasing him would only make it a game.

I thought it was over when he finally dropped the can, but then he ran to the couch, his sauce covered feet leaving perfect sauce footprints across it.

“Riot!” I screamed, finally able to grab him and drag him into the bathroom, slamming the door.

The apartment was a wreck, sauce everywhere, the couch stained in red along with what looked like a crime scene at the front door.

I knew Jax hated the mess, and this wasn’t going to help my whole ‘lets be friends’ apology. I knew he would be home any minute now, so there was no way I was going to get it all cleaned up before he saw it. So much for making things better. Somehow, I managed to make everything worse.

I raced for the bucket and rags, trying to get the couch cleaned first, hoping it wouldn’t permanently stain the brown leather. Seconds later, the door swung open, and I ducked behind the couch.

The room was silent for a second as he walked in, and I squeezed my eyes shut.

“What the fuck? Carly?” Jax yelled into the apartment. “Carly, you better answer me, or I’m going to assume this is all blood. Please tell me this isn’t blood.”

“Not blood. Tomato sauce,” I said, popping up from behind the couch.

His jaw dropped open. “Tomato sauce?”

“Yeah. I was cooking and…dropped it.”

“Dropped it or threw it around the apartment?”

“Dropped it, but then Riot grabbed it and, well…this happened.”

He finally moved, and I froze, watching as he dropped his keys into the tray and took off his button up mechanic shirt. I was expecting a shirt on underneath, but once again there was nothing except a tattooed chest and abs. The sight of it made me lose my train of thought for a second before reality hit again.

“I’ll clean it. I am now. I’ll make sure you can’t even tell what happened.”

“Yeah,” he said with a huff, trying to navigate around the sauce to the stool to take his boots off.

I went back to scrubbing and moved to the floor before either of us spoke again. He had grabbed a rag and was wiping down the door.

“I know we aren’t talking and all that, but I don’t need help. I’ll take care of it. Please. I was trying to be nice and make dinner, not make you clean up.”

“No, but apparently Riot was,” he said with a quiet laugh. “You were trying to be nice and cook me dinner?”

“Yeah,” I said, not looking away from him. I didn’t want to lose my nerve. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“Anything.”

He finally smiled, the dimples showing. “Are you trying to say that you missed me?”

I scowled harder. “No, because missing someone that I live with is ridiculous.”

“Then call me ridiculous because I’ve wanted to talk to you all fucking day.” I knew my face softened, but I refused to smile. Maybe he only wanted to tell me to leave.

“Really? Why didn’t you?”

“Because you wanted your space, and I know that it’s better for both of us if we do keep that distance.”

“I know why I want to keep my distance, but why do you?”

He went back to scrubbing the door. “Because you are going to leave and I don’t think I am going to want you to,” he said, not looking at me. “I didn’t even like going two days without talking to you, even though I still got to see you. Unfortunately for me. I get attached to my friends and I like keeping them around. Hence, the apartment building we share.”

“So we are friends now?”

“I like to think so,” he said. “Do you really think I’m going to be happy when you leave?”

“No, I guess not,” I said, taking a deep breath and wanting to look anywhere but at him. “So what do we do?”

“We clean up.”

“And then?”

“Maybe we deal with that after? I currently want to pass out because of how disgusting all of this sauce is,” he said with a smile.

I finally smiled back. “Yeah, we can do that, but seriously, you can sit down. I will clean this all up. It’s my fault.”

“It’s technically Riot’s fault,” he said with a small laugh. “And you think I’m going to sit there and watch you clean? Should I start calling you Cinderella, too?” He turned, wiping more of the red sauce off the white door.

“Jax, you really don’t have to,” I said, trying to stop him. He seemed to ignore me, carrying on.

“Although with your dark, strange clothes and black hair, I really don’t think you can pass as Cinderella. Maybe a seductive Snow White? And what would that make me in the story? I’m obviously choosing to be the charming prince,” he said, his easy tone back again.

“Seductive Snow White?”

“Yeah, I would say you could be the villain witch, but they are usually not nearly as hot.”

“Thanks. I think?”

He laughed harder as I started mopping the floor. “It’s meant to be a compliment.”

I wasn’t going to add that I probably weighed close to two Snow Whites, and that fact probably disqualified me from being compared to any princess.

We finished up quickly between the two of us. Jax sat back on the stool, his jeans still hanging low on his hips, and I could see the bruise on his chest had lightened but was still there.

“Do you want me to put something on that later?” I asked, nodding to his chest.

He looked down at it, and back at me. The corners of his mouth turned up, but I could tell he was trying to stop it. “That would be amazing.”

“I was a little worried this was going to be the final straw for you. I assumed me and Riot would be on the street by the end of the day.”

“You think I would kick you out over sauce?”

“No…Okay maybe, but only because we already seemed to be on thin ice.”

“Come here,” he said, leaning forward and reaching for me. As soon as I was close enough, his arms wrapped around me, pulling me between his legs until I was against him.

“It’s okay,” he said. “It’s just a mess. It’s not a big deal.”

I stayed frozen in his arms, feeling a little self conscious, and honestly still a little worried. “You aren’t mad?”

“No. Not mad, just tired and I’m sure as hell not going to make you leave over sauce. How could you even think that?” he said with a laugh. My body relaxed, falling against him with a deep breath, but he held on. “Forget it. I already know why. And I wasn’t mad at you before this either. Maybe a little upset at the races, but only because what you said made sense.”

“So you think that we should keep our distance?”

“We can try.”

I nodded against him, my body finally relaxing. “I didn’t mean to make the apartment a crime scene.”

He laughed again, the sound soothing, after all the bad ways this could have turned out. “I’m still glad it wasn’t blood. That part gave me a heart attack.”

“Did you really think it was?” I asked.

“I had a full thirty-seconds of worrying I was going to find you killed in here,” he said with a shudder. “I don’t know how I could live here any more.”

“A bit of bleach and you would never know.”

“You’re morbid.”

It was my turn to smile. “I should finish cleaning and cooking dinner.”

I went to move, but he leaned on me further. “I’m ready for bed.”

“Isn’t everyone coming here to eat?”

“Yeah, they are literally begging for your food, so instead of going to bed I am going to help you clean Riot, and cook, and then hopefully eat. Where is Riot exactly?” he asked, before a bark came from the bathroom. “Ahh.”

“I haven’t even looked in there yet.”

He groaned, kissing my forehead before dropping his arms.

“Dinner can be saved, right? I’m starving.”

“It’s all still usable. But we might have to use a difference sauce,” I said,

“Fine by me. After this, I don’t think either of us will want anything with tomato sauce for a while. To add to that, I would prefer a less disgusting sauce being thrown around the room next time.”

“I don’t think I can handle a next time,” I said, making him smile more.

An hour later, Riot was bathed, Jax had changed, and I headed back into the kitchen to finish dinner as Jax finally sat down.

He laid his head down on the counter. “You know, I get why you freak out about fights. Everything in my life growing up would cause a massive fight. One wrong move and a full on screaming match broke out. Is that why you haven’t talked to me since the races? You thought I would blow up at you?”

“Kind of? The girls did say you rarely get mad, so when you did actually get mad, I figured I pushed you too far. I mean, part of me understands that you aren’t a violent or angry person, but the other part of me is just waiting for that shoe to drop, you know? Like, what is going to set you off to become that person?”

“And you were mad that I pushed that guy away and threatened him?”

“No, but I was mad that I was counting on you to do that. I was also mad that you feel like you have to be my bodyguard all the time. I need to be able to take care of myself. And you weren’t doing it because the guy was hitting on me. You were doing it because you thought he might have something to do with Slaughter. Not that I blame you, I was a little worried about that myself at first, so I really had no right to be rude to you.”

I didn’t catch my own words until I looked over at Jax’s growing smile. The pure joy on his face making me contemplate what I said.

And before I could take it back, he was already starting in on me.

“You were mad that I saved you from that guy because I was worried, not because I was jealous?” He was up, coming around the counter and cornering me in the kitchen. “You wanted me to do it because I was jealous that another guy was hitting on you?”

“What? No, that’s not it at all. I was just meaning —”

“You said that you were mad that I was doing it out of bodyguard duties, and not because I was jealous.”

“I didn’t exactly mean it like that.”

He stepped close enough to touch me but didn’t reach out, the winning smirk still on his face. “Who said I wasn’t jealous?”

“You did?”

“No, I never said anything like that. If you would have asked, I would have said that the way he was gawking at you was pissing me off more than anything else. And the way he grabbed you made me want to cut his arm off. For someone who really doesn’t like resorting to violence, that being my first thought really says a lot. And I get that you might have never had someone that wants to keep you safe, but me doing that doesn’t mean that you suddenly can’t defend yourself. I would argue that you can defend yourself a little too well. It just means you get a break while you’re with me. That I will look over your shoulder and have your back so that you can enjoy your night.” He shook his head, the grin spreading back across his face. “I already knew my entire night was going to be filled with getting jealous when you chose that stupidly hot outfit. Then my grumpy little witch came over to flirt with me? You were smiling and flirting with me, and I was losing my fucking mind. By the time he came up, I was already about to use that harness thing to drag you away, and then he touched you and I saw red. This is amazing. You were mad because you thought I wasn’t jealous? Meaning that you liked that I was.”

“No, I —”

He leaned down, cutting me off as his face came close to mine.

He was about to kiss me. He had to be.

I almost leaned in, but the front door slammed open before I could, making me jump away.

“Sorry, I —”

“Don’t be. I’m in no rush,” he said, smiling as the apartment filled with noise.

And without another word, he walked out, talking to everyone as they sat down, leaving me to finish cooking in my own silence as I tried to calm down.