Race to the Next World

No one wants to say anything about what happened.

Its like it didn’t happen.

I would stand in the hallways and remember all the blood on the walls, on the floor, on my clothes. I couldn’t look around without seeing it.

No one wants to talk about it. Picses won’t say a word about it, and I thought that maybe he would have addressed it. Are we just going to forget that happened, that people died, that we had to fight our way through?

No one wants to talk about it.

Things resumed like normal, people pretending like the incident didn’t happen. I know protocols were changed, and now we’re on guard, tightening defense around us. Picses didn’t disrupt anything that was supposed to go on for the next few days.

I wanted to see Alara but she was too busy for me unfortunately; I’m glad she made it out alive, but we could barely speak because we were so busy. There were evaluations going on and not only that, but also maintenance checks. And Sirus wasn’t around. I was finally able to start narrowing down his behavioral patterns.

When he’s nervous, he talks less. When he’s scared, he prepares to fight. When he’s anxious, he completely just disappears.

Before, he was agitated. Then he was just gone. Whatever he saw, whatever happened to him, it did something. And then there’s what I had to deal with before. I think about it, all the blood, but I turn away and start to do something else.

No one wants to talk about it.

I walked in the hallway, prepared to do Sirus’ maintenance on my own. He turned off his tracker so I won’t be able to find him. I’m sure it would be silent between us if I did find him. We don’t know how far Russia got with their raid, no one wants to tell me so I have to find out for myself. If they messed with the Computer, then the ships could malfunction. I’m sure I have to make physical repairs on his ship as well.

I took off the bandages on my right hand and placed it on the scanner, waiting for the doors to open to dispatch. A rush of cold air hit me when they did, but I still felt the unsettling heat on my body; my arm was still healing from when I got burned. That’s all I could feel for now.

This whole area was filled with hundreds of damaged ships. I won’t be the only one doing repairs. As I walked, I saw Coordinators and Flyers doing repairs on the ships. No one wants to talk about what happened. Its like we’re ignoring it. I can’t say anything. I kept to myself as I looked straight ahead. I counted ships in my head, trying to remember where Sirus’ ship was. Some of them were damaged, some of them just had scratches.

Coordinators were in the process of trying to fix the ones that were damaged. I continued to walk by quietly, and I didn’t hear a word from anyone. Sirus really does try to take care of his ship, so I don’t think there would be a lot for me to do; its not like he doesn’t know how to fix anything either, so he might have done the physical repairs himself.

I hopped up on a platform and kept walking, until I had to get up on another one. I stood in front of the black ship. There were a few scratches but its nothing that I can’t get rid of. It looked deep; I ran my fingers passed the metal, feeling the rough ridges. It is deep. I can fix that some other time. I walked around the ship, thinking of how I was going to get in.

“What are you doing?” Sirus asked behind me.

I turned to face him. He was down on the floor, staring up at me plainly. I noticed the bandages on his hands that were going up to his arms. There was blood on them too. He’s over working himself.

Why does he do that?

I had the same bandages on my hands, but my wounds aren’t nearly as bad as his.

“Maintenance check.” I answered quietly; that was the first I’ve spoken since yesterday. Sirus didn’t say anything to me as he got up on the platform, walking over to me. I won’t make him stay long, I just need to get inside.

He didn’t think to let me in by myself. I didn’t say anything as I took his hand so he could help me up. There’s blood on his hands. He’s hurting himself. I glanced at his face; he’s not in pain even after all this.

Last time we were together in his ship, we had the weirdest experience. This time, I don’t know what he was thinking.

We weren’t going to talk about what happened.

Sirus kept his arms around me as I turned on the system. I didn’t move them from around me. He was just...holding me...like it was normal. I don’t think it bothered me. I was just sitting there. I looked down at the blood on his bandages. I might have to redo them for him later. He should take it easy. I would tell him to but I couldn’t find my voice; I had it for just a second but now I was being silent.

“I heard you’re getting tested today.” he said but I know he’s not interested. Everyone is going through evaluations. I thought Picses would hold off on it but he didn't.

Sirus is never interested in the stuff Coordinators have to do. He thinks its boring. The Flyers’ tests are impossible for any normal person to go through.

“I am.” I answered quietly as I pressed the button under the seat. A bright screen formed in front of me.

“Welcome, Aurora.” it said as I started to draw in commands.

“Run diagnostic.” I said as I checked everything else manually. The computer began checking for things on its own.

Sirus was still quiet. He kept his arms around me, barely moving. I did my work but I was easily getting distracted by his silence. Usually he has a ton of things to say but now he doesn’t. Its unsettling. I wanted to ask him, but what would I say? We couldn’t talk about what happened. Maybe I’m making a big deal out of it.

It was just a simple raid, nothing else.

But I saw all that blood.

I remember it.

“You okay?” Sirus finally asked. I could have blurted everything out at that moment.

I could have said that I’ve never seen anything scarier than what I saw before. I would have said that I saw so many people just on the floor bleeding out, with limbs in a pool of blood because of the intruder system. I had to mentally restrain myself from freaking out because I won’t stop if I just tell him everything.

“I saw someone get their arm cut off.” I said plainly as I kept working. I had to keep it all in, I couldn’t just tell him how I’m feeling. I don’t need that right now.

“Me too.” he said.

Oh.

“But that’s not what I meant.” he said and his arms tightened around me. He wants me to say something but I really couldn’t. I would start freaking out. Its not like him to care about me anyway; now that he wants to know, I was slowly losing my mind because of it.

I opened my mouth to talk but I couldn’t find my voice. I stopped typing for a second and watched the screen load as the Computer finished with its check.

“Diagnostic complete.” The computer said.

I pressed the button under the seat again and the computer shut down. Now its just us. I don’t really know what Sirus wants from me. He knows I’m not going to be able to handle things like he does. I wanted to pretend like I was okay, but in reality, I’m not.

I’m not okay.

“I couldn’t sleep.” I finally said. Not that it mattered. “My arm hurts.” I added. Not that it mattered. “And no one wants to say anything about what happened.” I said.

It doesn’t matter.

I’m scared but that doesn’t matter.

Sirus didn’t say anything. He didn’t move. He didn’t try to comfort me. I don’t think he knows how. I just stayed put and thought to myself, freaking out by myself. What is he thinking? He’s nervous, I know that, but what is he thinking? I couldn’t ask. In the end, no one wants to say anything about it. He stayed close to me; his cheek was pressed into my hair and I could feel him breathing on me. I closed my eyes for a second and focused.

He’s warm.

If we could stay here just like this, I’d be fine with it but I have a test to take. I didn’t want to go, I wanted to stay here where the silence wasn’t unbearable.

I couldn’t do that.

I let myself out first, landing on my feet on the ground. I fixed my clothes as Sirus moved around me.

He ended up following me the entire time. Usually he’s not interested, I don’t know what changed his mind today. I don’t know if I was ready to take my test, but if I want to keep my ranking, I had to. I pretended like nothing bothered me because after all, no one wants to say anything about what happened.

There’s three tests we take each year to assess our abilities and to make sure we stay on top of things. It seems simple at first, but as Coordinators get older and older, the tests get harder to pass; the better a Coordinator gets at their job, the harder the tests get.

I was not up for it today. I really wasn’t. I just have to pass and leave. I’m not worried about my ranking, I’m worried about how I’ve been sleep deprived. I’m worried about how no one has said anything about what happened. I’m worried about everything else, except for this test.

I walked through the crowd of people watching the newly ranked second Coordinator take her test. Through the glass we could see her matching up commands as fast as her fingers could manage on the thin screen. Picses was informing the Japanese Commander on how we get tested. I haven’t seen this girl before, she’s probably one of those people that gets up through the rankings in a few days or so.

There’s hundreds of commands on our screen, and we’re supposed to match them. It could be about anything. Maybe its about what to do in which protocol, what precautions to take when a ship gets damaged, what is the damage done, how should we fix it. We have to know everything. At some point, they stop picking and choosing commands, and start giving all of them on the test. Every symbol is a code and we have to know what it means. The girl was fast, she might even bump me out of my space.

I wasn’t worried.

There were whispers about her behind me. Then I heard my name come up a few times. The only reason I’m doing this is to be Commander. If rankings didn’t get us there, I wouldn’t care about some test.

The girl hesitated for a slight second, and everyone noticed. As long as I don’t hesitate, then I can pass her time. It must have been something no one ever pays attention to. I wonder what Picses put down this time.

I wasn’t nervous at all. I shouldn’t be. Its just a simple test. The girl’s time lit up in front of us. There were murmurs and shocked gasps behind me. I didn’t move. She came out of the room, and she kept her head down, her white hair covering her face. I knew her name, but this was the first time I've seen her.

When I got a glimpse of her face, I saw her cheeks were a bright red. She was stressed out. I don't blame her for being flustered. Its a great deal of stress we’re put under. That’s usually how I walk out of us a test.

I tugged on my bandages as I walked in. I unwrapped my hands and folded the bandages so I could stuff it against my belt. My fingers were a bit stiff, and I was really hoping that wouldn’t hinder how I perform.

“Welcome, two-thirty-six.” the computer said as I walked to the glass table. The screen started changing, setting up for my test. “You will be given a number of tasks needed to be matched correctly in as little to no time possible.” It said. I just stared at the blank screen.

There are six hundred commands in total. My test was loading all six hundred.

My hands tightened to fists at my side, and I tried my best to relax before I got to start. This isn’t going to be fun. Picses really wanted to show off to Japan’s Commander, but he doesn’t have to torture us to do that.

When everything loaded, I searched as many as I could at a time, looking at the symbols instead of the words and phrases. Pictures are easier to remember. My fingers dragged across the screen, putting answers together.

At first I thought it was too easy.

Then I saw how more answers were loading instead of choices. I began pressing the override button on the screen to get rid of them. It just got to the point that I kept pressing the button; I hoped I wasn’t wrong. If I didn’t recognize something, I deleted it.

This is one of the most stressful tests. I tried to focus as much as I could so I could keep going. When there’s so many commands on just one screen, I have a habit of giving up. I noticed when I began to slow down, my fingers aching from moving too much. I continued to press the different symbols just as the pain in my hands got worse. The symbols flashed blue as I touched them and turned green when I matched it correctly.

I held my breath as I moved my hands. My fingers were shaking from the pain. I don’t have much left so I should be able to make it.

I didn’t breathe for the last couple of seconds.

There was nothing left to load.

When the Computer said I finished, I put my hands down on the glass and breathed out nervously. My fingers were cramping up.

Good gosh, Picses is trying to kill me. I had a terrible headache, and I needed to stop thinking. I hate these tests. They're obnoxious.

I didn't wait to see my score. I kept my head down so no one would see how much pain I was in. My hands were shaking still; I took the bandages from my belt and began wrapping my hands again. I tightened the white fabric over my knuckles and tucked the ends underneath the bandages around my thumb.

I walked passed the group of Coordinators who were still talking as someone else walked in the room. Everyone saw the perfect score, except me. I just heard about it.

Sirus was still here.

There were a few Flyers here, and they were making comments about how Coordinators are ridiculous and our tests shouldn’t be a thing. I know Sirus is thinking the same thing. I thought he would have been gone by now since he gets bored easily by what we have to do.

I should give him more credit. If he took one of our exams, he'd do well. He just doesn't want other people to know that he'd do well.

“Those exams are obnoxious." Sirus said when I walked over to him.

“Its better than what you have to do.” I said. The physical tests are not my thing. I’ve seen what they do, and I wouldn’t last a minute. Flyers' exams lasts for hours and are physically draining.

“You looked bored.” he said as he started to walk away. I tagged along beside him. I don’t think it was boredom I was feeling. It was more pain and pity than boredom.

“I was concentrating.” I said. He looked down at me plainly and I knew he had something to say to me.

“That Japanese Commander was eyeing you real hard.” he said, not liking it.

He's not a fan of the treaties. I know that.

“Why do you hate the temporary treaties?” I asked. He stopped walking and looked down at me. He hates everything that includes us with other nations. I just want to know I’m not going to give him back lash for telling me.

“You do know the second they think they’re done with us, they’ll just attack us.” he said.

“What about us?” I asked.

We could do it too.

“Knowing Picses, he'd flee.” he rolled his eyes. Sirus isn't wrong. I feel like Picses would flee if Japan decided they didn't need us. But it's a good plan. Why would we want to fight with a nation that would be five times our size when we're alone? I guess the Commanders see it as defense is better.

I stared at Sirus. I didn’t have anything to say so I just stared up at him. He watched me and after a moment, he made a face, as if I was annoying him. His hand gripped my arm and I flinched away quickly. I told him that my arm hurt, what the hell is his problem? I pulled on my shoulder, and turned away so Sirus couldn’t grab me again.

But I stared up at his face again, wondering if there was something wrong with him. No one wants to talk about it, but I feel like there’s more he has to say.

“Have something to say?” he asked, getting tired of me staring at him.

No, I didn’t.

There was a lot going through my mind. Yesterday, today, everything. There was a lot to think about. I didn’t know what to say. I’ve been bottling everything up on the inside because everyone else has been doing that. I was a bit paranoid about what was going to happen now.

I wanted to tell Sirus about it, but I wasn’t going to ramble to him.

Instead, I lifted my better arm up around his neck and reached up to kiss him. Like I said before, there was a lot on my mind. And earlier, Sirus asked how I was feeling. That in itself was something big of him to ask.

It didn’t take him long to get rough with me. He moved me against the wall, and his hands gripped my waist as he kept me there. I didn’t mind any of this. In fact, I didn’t care. I had a lot on my mind, things I didn’t want to talk about. I just wanted to forget that everything happened. I held on to Sirus tightly, thinking about other things like what he could do to me, how he makes me feel, how good he makes everything feel.

Like when his tongue licked inside my mouth.

Making me moan.

His mouth was over mine, his breath mixing with mine. I tasted him inside my mouth, on my lips. I found myself doing what he was doing, and I was so fine with it. I thought it would be different, but the more he kissed me, the more I wanted to feel more of him. I’ve always been wanting Sirus more.

I thought I could handle it, but I was basically melting.

His teeth made it on my bottom lip, biting me harder. My fingers gripped his hair and that made him bite me again.

My first response was to hit him. And I did. Blood was dripping from my wound, tasting like iron in my mouth. This is the exact same thing he did last time, and I don’t like it. He never learns.

My hand felt numb from hitting him, but I shook it off like it was nothing. He did the same too.

He had grabbed my hands and pinned them on the wall before I could tell him not to do anything else. His lips crashed on mine, kissing me even harder as I felt his tongue lick my wound. He kept doing it and doing it until my lips were wet. I couldn’t resist him even though he just bit me. Not even struggling was worth it. His grip on my hands were so tight. Now there wasn’t any pain, I just couldn’t feel my hands anymore. His knee rose up between my legs, and he pressed harder as he kissed me.

When he started rubbing on me, I could barely handle it. My body pulled forward, tensing as he kept rubbing his knee on to me. I get that Sirus has things he wants to do, and this time I won’t stop him, but doing it here is not what should happen. I had to tell him that.

“Sirus-”

“What? Don’t tell me you can’t handle it.” he said lowly, biting on to my ear. I winced at the pain. His hands tightened on my wrists as I kept moving from feeling his knee on me.

“We c-can’t do this here.” I said quickly.

“No one will come here. They’re all too busy with testing.” he said and I’m pretty sure he would find a way to my zipper without letting me go. I don’t want to be pinned up like this. As he kissed my skin, his fingers tightened and his knee moved higher, messing around with me.

I squirmed, not able to control my body. And my voice. It was coming out louder than it should I know if someone were to walk by, I wouldn’t be able to hide my shameful face. I tried so hard but I couldn’t stop it. Sirus knows what he’s doing to me and its on purpose. I felt like I wouldn’t be able to hold myself up anymore, that Sirus had to keep me from falling.

“P-please, Sirus. L-let me go.”

His teeth dug into my neck, biting me just as hard as he did my lip. I clenched my teeth down, keeping in my cries of pain.

My body felt hot, and every second it got hotter. I got more sensitive as he rubbed on me, making it clear that I wanted this more than ever. His tongue licked over my neck, getting higher and higher until his lips found mine again, his tongue in my mouth like usual. He quieted down my moans just enough that I wouldn’t be so embarrassingly loud.

I wanted him to let go of me. I don’t need to be pinned against the wall.

His tongue moved on my wound again, and this was when his hands started to loosen their grip on me finally. I was obedient and didn’t move. He continued to kiss me, his knee still rubbing on me as I felt my body blaze. This is not enough, not at all.

I was able to breathe and I took what I could, gasping and moaning as his knee rubbed me harder; he felt how I was, how noticeably aroused I was. It was so apparent. And it made me blush hard.

“Come on, Aurora, you definitely have something to say for me.” he teased me, watching my face as he kneed me so easily. I wish he would stop but I wasn’t sure if I could beg him to. At this point, I can’t hold out.

“I w-want to.” I said quickly.

“Now?”

“Stop teasing me, Sirus.” I wanted to get this over with. His knee stopped as he completely let go of me. His hands moved on my neck, pulling me forward as he kissed me roughly.

We can’t do this here.

But he continued to kiss me this way, not even doing anything else. And when he was done, he took my hand, and dragged me on with him.

As long as we weren't in a hallway, I was more willing.

I don’t feel this way usually.

We didn't make it to our room, that would take too long. Instead, he pulled me into the first place he could find where we could be alone, and I know he wouldn’t care about where we were, or anything else.

It was darker in here as we slipped inside, I wasn’t feeling too good about being in this place, my fear was someone finding us. Maybe we should really go to our room, I know its a bit of a stretch but we should really go somewhere else instead of some random room.

“Sirus, we can’t do this here.” I complained. He ignored me as he pulled the zipper to my suit down, still kissing my neck as if he hadn’t heard me. I wanted him to let go of me now but that wasn’t even happening either. “Sirus-”

“Shut up.” he told me just as he pulled down my suit.

To be honest, I wanted him to spare the foreplay and get this over with.

And I know that’s exactly what he was going to do.

I shuffled more out of my suit as he touched me. The more he pressed me against the wall, the more I wanted him to do this to me. I moved my legs up around his waist just as he began to push in me. This time it hurt a lot more; I closed my eyes from the pain and breathed in deeply so I wouldn’t try to fight him.

I leaned my head back on the wall as he kissed my neck, still moving inside me. I was already so hot, and sweating, not to mention how much my body shook and trembled. I already felt the soreness in my throat from moaning too much. Sirus wouldn’t let go, his hands on me tightened more and more, which only made my legs tighten around his waist. And the harder he thrusted into me, the more I cried out for him to do it even harder.

I was too loud, and he had to shut me up. Anyone could find us here. I knew it would be better in our own room but Sirus was too impatient. I tried to quiet down just a bit, and even though he was kissing me, it didn’t do much for me.

He throbbed so much inside me, I could feel every inch of him, and all his heat. I wanted him to stay like this inside me so much, I just wanted to feel him. He kept moving inside me as he breathed on me; I could barely breathe now, it was even starting to hurt in my chest how much I gasped for air. I let go of whatever control I had over my body and let him hold me.

This was a guilty pleasure.

I wanted this to happen, its like I was begging for it.

And to think we’re just doing it in some random room we stumbled in to.

He started biting my neck again, sucking and licking the wounds and marks he was leaving on me. I bit down on my lip to keep in my voice but that’s when I felt the pain from him biting me. The last thing I needed were more noticeable wounds on me. He still kissed me, and I still wanted him. He didn’t stop, and I didn’t ask him to.

Every time, I get less and less resistant to him.

I could feel my cum dripping down my skin, I wasn’t able to hold it in like this. Sirus wouldn’t stop even if I came but I was becoming so tired and breathless. His hands gripped me harder, harder than before, and I know he’s going to leave bruises on my skin.

He was cumming. I trembled in his arms as I held him closer to me, my arms and legs tightening around him. He kept thrusting into me until I could feel him all the way inside me. My cries came out despite how much I tried to keep them in. It was no use stopping it.

I gasped for air, feeling dirty like usual but I didn’t mind it. Sirus kept holding me though, not willing to let go of me and I know that’s a slight problem. I don’t want to stay here at least, maybe we could go to our own room to do this. But Sirus will never stop until he’s satisfied. And right now, he wasn’t. He kept kissing me and kissing me until I could take no more of it.

“Sirus...please, lets just go back. I’m tired.” I complained quietly, still breathing heavily. He continued to kissed my neck, ignoring me.

“Mhm.” he’s always tuning me out. I just want to go back, he can do this in our own room, I just want to go back.

We could have gotten in so much trouble.

It was a struggle to get back to our room, but after that, everything just...fell into place, I guess. I’m not surprised that I ended up so tired.

I woke up in his bed.

The only thing different this time was that he was next to me, and he was sleeping. It's a rare occasion.

I could feel the warmth of his body. I could feel him breathing. I turned over to see his face; he was peaceful like the last time. How can someone so destructive look like that? I glanced at his hands, seeing the bandages stained with blotches of red. He tore his wounds.

He has a lot more bandages than I do. His wrapped up his arms. My hand moved to his side gently and lifted his shirt to see more bandages wrapped around him. I can't imagine what happened to him. I noticed it earlier when my hands were on him, but I hadn't seen them.

The wounds on his hands reopened, blood on the white bandages. If he didn't overwork himself, his wounds would've healed already. I lifted his hand into mine, feeling the thick bandages that wrapped around his palm.

Why does he always look better when he’s sleeping?

What happened earlier was such a blur. There was so much I wanted to ask Sirus now. He wasn’t feeling okay, even I could feel that.

I stared at his face but didn’t wake him up.

My tracker was going off on the floor and his was too, but I didn’t reach for them. I wanted to watch Sirus sleep and be peaceful; the way his black hair passed over his face, and the way he curled up next to me, and the way he didn’t stir or fidget. He was silent and looked a bit content with everything.

Whatever our trackers were going off for was important, but the last thing I wanted to do was get up. I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep. I was still holding his hand.