SWNOVELS Pucking Sweet: Chapter 84
“Can someone please tell me what’s happening with my partner?” I ask for the twentieth time, pacing the room in my hospital gown and nubby socks. “Colton Morrow. He was brought into the cardiac ICU an hour ago, and we’ve heard nothing since.”
“Let me ask at the nurse’s station again,” says the nurse, leaving the room.
I look to Claribel. “Will you please go check?”
“And leave you here alone?” she says with a raised brow.
“I will fire you,” I cry, pointing a shaking finger at her. “This is insubordination!”
She shrugs, looking back at her phone. “Go ahead.”
I cry out to the heavens in frustration, both hands on my belly. I’ve never done very well with feeling this helpless. I’m Poppy St. James. I always have a plan. I’m organized. I have lists. Of course I had a baby bag all packed and ready. Of course the nursery is set, and my birthing playlist is sync’d on all our phones. I knew exactly how this would go. I’d wear the robe I handpicked, and my hair would be braided, and Lukas would rub my feet while Colton held my hand. I wanted to feel ready to become a mother. I wanted to feel calm, and centered, and freaking prepared!
Instead, I’m pacing like a wild animal with my ass hanging out in this thin hospital gown. It’s a lurid shade of yellow, with little bunnies all over it. And I don’t have my soft arch-support slippers. I have these ugly maroon hospital socks. I don’t even have my baby bag. Oh god—I don’t have a diaper, a onesie, a freaking carrier. How will I even take this baby home?
Worst of all, I don’t have my loving, supportive partners. I have Claribel on her phone and Jake Price is standing like a bouncer in the hallway. Colton might be dying with active heart failure a floor away. And where is Lukas?
Emotions crash in at me on all sides, making me feel like a rag doll tossed in the waves. “Right, here’s what we’re gonna do,” I say, pacing back over to the window. “He’s just gonna stay in.”
“What?” Claribel looks up over her phone.
I glance down at my belly, feeling the baby kick into my spleen. “Do you hear me in there? You are not coming out. Not today. No way. So, just stop kicking me, and take a freaking nap.”
“Poppy, you’re already at seven centimeters—”
“Who freaking asked you,” I shout at her.
She just holds my stare. “They are not going to let you leave when your waters have broken and you’re at seven centimeters. You are having this baby today, boss. It’s happening. Make your peace with it.”
I shake my head, tears welling. “I’m not ready.”
She sets her phone aside. “Are you serious?”
“What if I can’t do it? What if I’m a terrible mother? What if I raise him to hate me, and cut me out, and loathe every time the phone rings with my call?” I should freaking know. It’s been four months since I last took one of my own mother’s phone calls. We haven’t spoken since the wedding. It’s certainly not for her lack of trying.
“Not possible,” Claribel says gently. She crosses over to me and tucks my messy hair back behind my ear. “Poppy, you are literal sunshine. It’s annoying how positive and wonderful and upbeat you are. Truly. Working for you has been the bane of my existence.”
I smile. “Really?”
“Really,” she deadpans. “You’re gonna be a great mom, and this kid is gonna love you.”
“You think so?” I say on a sniffle.
“Yeah, you’re gonna be the kind of mom who bakes cookies from scratch, and loves to finger paint, and pick up shells at the beach.”
“I do love to bake,” I murmur.
“See, there you go.”
I groan, breathing through the pain of another contraction as the door bursts open.
“I found him,” Jake cries, one arm on Lukas as he pulls him into the room.
The second we lock eyes, we both break into tears. My heart shatters. “Oh god—”
“No—” Lukas catches me before I can sink to the floor. “Baby, no. He’s alive. Look at me.” He cups my face. “Cole is alive. His heart wasn’t responding to any of the medications to stop his dysrhythmia. We were out of options. They’re taking him back for a pacemaker surgery now. Okay? He’s alive.”
“He’s alive?”
“He’s still alive, baby.” He kisses my brow. Then he steps away, taking me in from head to toe. “Now, what about you? What’s happening? Where are we?”
Fresh tears well as I cling to him. “I’m sorry. Lukas, honey, I really tried. But he won’t stay in.”
His eyes go wide in confusion. “Well, that’s a good thing, right? We wanted him to come out eventually. So, he’s a little early.” He shrugs, glancing from Claribel to Jake. “Probably means he’s a Morrow, not a Novikov. You know how I always like to be fashionably late.”
I give a weak laugh.
“Come on, babe. We can do this,” he assures me.
“Colton was supposed to be here,” I whimper. “I don’t want him to miss it.”
He nods. “Yeah, I know. But Cole’s busy taking care of his own business now. This is gonna be just you and me. But I’m here, and I’m in this. Game time. We are gonna have this baby, and when Cole gets out of surgery, he’s gonna get to meet him, and he’s gonna be so fucking happy. Yeah?”
I hold his gaze, losing myself in the depths of his pretty caramel eyes. “Yeah…we can do this.” I take his hands in both of mine, giving them a squeeze.
“We can do this,” he echoes, his tone steady and sure. “We’re ready.”
Reassured, I nod. Lukas is my family now. Colton and Lukas and this baby. And we are going to share such a beautiful life together.
He smiles, hope and love shining on his face. “Let’s meet our son.”