SWNOVELS Pucking Sweet: Chapter 79
“Oh, thank god,” I cry, opening the door of my hotel room to find my guys lounging on the bed. They leap up as I hurry in. I kiss Colton, then Lukas. Arms around their waists, I just breathe them in.
“That bad, huh?” Colton teases, his hand smoothing down my back.
“Worse,” I say. “Tell me why I agreed to do this again?”
“Hell if we know,” Lukas mutters.
Colton brushes my hair back from my face. “What happened, babe?”
“Oh, you know, my mom is still upset because I showed up looking so pregnant.” I gesture down at my super obvious baby bump. “I don’t know what she expected, seeing as I’m twenty-two weeks along, and I’m only five-foot-two and one hundred and ten pounds. I mean, the baby has to go somewhere.”
I step between them, moving over to the vanity. “And my aunt Tilly thinks I need fillers in my forehead. Oh, and if Lemon calls me ‘brave’ one more time for having this baby ‘all on my own,’ I’m gonna find an actual lemon and choke her with it.”
“Cool. I’ll hold her down,” says Lukas. “In other news, we met your fucking ex.”
I spin around. “Where? Oh god, you know I wanted to be there to referee all interactions with the ‘A’ word—and yes, I mean ‘Asshole.’”
“Downstairs in the lobby,” says Colton.
“Yeah, we met your dad too,” Lukas adds with a glare. “And Rowan. You were sure keeping that wild card close to the chest.”
I wince. “Was my brother rude?”
“Babe, scientists are already investigating the masterclass that was his dickholery,” he replies.
“I know,” I admit with a tired nod. I’ve been dealing with his snide comments and cutting stares for two days. “For a while, I thought it was just typical older brother meanness. But I really think working for Daddy takes a toll on him. He can never stick up for himself, so he copes by bullying others. It’s childish. I just try to ignore him.”
Lukas sighs. “Yeah, well, rules one and two mean I just had to stand there and take it, like I was a goddamn goalie with my arms taped to my sides.”
I glance over my shoulder, hairbrush in hand. “What are rules one and two?”
“Rule one: we have to be polite to your family,” he replies, holding up a finger. “Rule two: we can’t punch your ex in the face.”
“Seriously? What do you get if you win?”
They both smirk.
“What do you get?” I say again.
“We don’t wanna say,” says Lukas.
Now I’m smiling. “Well, what do you get if you both win?”
“We both get to win,” says Colton, his gaze heating.
I raise a brow, curious. “And if you lose?”
“Eh, I’ll owe him fifty bucks,” Lukas says with a shrug.
“What—fifty? That’s it? Can we up that please?”
“No way. The chances of us losing are too freaking high,” he replies.
I glance between them again. “Well, are those the only two rules?”
“Nope,” Lukas replies.
I narrow my eyes at them. “Well, what are the other rules?”
“Only one more,” says Colton. “No fucking like rabbits in the church.”
I giggle. “Well, that one should be easy, at least.”
They both toss a heated look my way.
“Okay, enough,” I cry. “Get out of here.” I wave at the open door connecting our rooms. “Go back in there and leave me to get ready.”
An hour later, the three of us make our way downstairs to the restaurant Daddy bought out for the night. My guys look divine in suit and tie, Lukas in charcoal, Colton in a pretty, dark green. I’m wearing a black Banana Republic dress that wraps around my neck, falling to the floor in pleats. There’s enough fabric, and the color is dark enough, that from the front, at least, you’d have to squint to tell I’m pregnant. From the side? Well, honey, there’s just no sucking this in.
I paired the neutral dress with a bold red lip, full curls, and a pair of absolutely gorgeous opal stud earrings, a gift from Colton last month.
The dining room is already filling as we make our way inside. I smile and wave as I walk past people I know, cousins and old friends of the family. I laugh out loud as I see who’s standing at the bar. I hurry over to her, knowing the guys are following right behind. “Bitch, who invited you?” I tease, throwing an arm around Tina.
She laughs, hugging me back. She’s changed up her hair, opting for a deep fade along the sides. Her petal pink hair on top is done up in curls and pinned like a faux hawk. “I thought it was you.”
I just shake my head. “You didn’t say a word.”
“Yeah, cause I thought it was you,” she repeats.
“It was me.”
We both turn as Violet walks up. She doesn’t look like her normal self. She hasn’t all weekend. She looks like “Wedding Weekend Violet,” all done up in my mother’s makeup choices and clothing styles. Her white sheath dress hugs her curves, and her blonde hair is styled in a big Annmarie-approved blowout.
“You invited her?” I say.
She just shrugs, as if it means nothing that she let my friend come to her wedding. “She came to the bachelorette, and she brought cool gifts. I figured I could squeeze another couple hundred bucks out of her.”
“Fuck you too,” Tina teases.
A smile flickers across Violet’s face. Then she’s turning, offering out a hand to my men. “You both came.”
“We were invited,” says Lukas, shaking it.
“I know, I invited you too,” she replies, shaking Colton’s hand. “I’m glad you’re here,” she adds, shocking the heck out of me. She’s quickly called away by her friends, leaving me with the only friendly faces at the party.
“It’s good to see you again, Devil One, Devil Two,” says Tina, stepping in for a hug.
“Hey, come on, I’m an angel,” Colton teases.
“Well, I’m not. Devil in the streets and the sheets,” says Lukas, hugging her next.
She just rolls her eyes. She knows everything about us, and she’s been so supportive. She already sent Lentil a box of goodies, including the breast pump and bottle-cleaning kit I put on my registry. She called it “Baby’s First Mixology Set.”
“Now it makes sense,” Rowan says, wandering up with a pregnant Deidre on his arm. “The freakazoid got you roped into the alternative lifestyle, right, Pops?” He nods at Tina. “Hey, Tuna, how’s it going?”
Tina stiffens. We both hate that nickname. “Rowan. Don’t you have a pile of ants you can go burn with a magnifying glass?”
He chuckles. “Nope, but I do have a couple deals I can close. Those should bring in a cool million each by close of business LA time.”
“Spare us,” I say with a sigh.
“What would you know about it, Pops?”
Before I can speak, Lukas steps in. “Actually, Poppy just helped me close an endorsement deal with Under Armour. It’s worth a cool two million.”
Next to him, Colton smirks.
Rowan takes a sip of his beer. “Hmm. That surprises me. With that ugly scar, I bet it’s hard to put your face on the posters.”
“Actually, women love a guy with scars,” Lukas replies. “Turns out they’re attracted to strength and resiliency. But you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”
Colton groans, and I put a hand on Lukas’s arm. “Deidre, I love your hair,” I say loudly, inching in front of him.
Deidre smiles. “Thank you. It’s—”
“Actually, I would know a thing or two about strength,” Rowan counters.
“God, are you still here,” Lukas deadpans.
Tina chuckles, but Rowan bristles, trying to make himself taller than his five-foot-nine next to Lukas’s six-foot-two. “You listen to me, asshole. My family built this country—”
“Lemme stop you right there,” Lukas says, putting up a hand. “See, I’m Canadian. So, all your posturing ‘America rules’ political bullshit is gonna go right over my head.”
“Hey, don’t blame Canada for why you’re so unintelligent,” Rowan snaps. “Blame the NHL for not giving you dumb jocks better protective headgear.”
“Rowan, that is enough,” I finally say. “You’re just embarrassing yourself.”
“Oh, I’m the embarrassment? Come on, Popcorn, what did you expect? Did you really think we’d welcome these guys with open arms? That we’d just look the other way when you show up pregnant with no ring on your finger? These guys are obviously trash. No real man would treat you this way—”
“I will not let you speak to them like that,” I all but shout. Colton and Lukas each have a hand on my arm now, holding me back.
Tina steps forward, arms crossed. “The only trash here is you, Rowan. Your sister is fucking amazing. She’s a girl-bossing queen that is so all-powerful, she deserves two kings. You couldn’t hold a candle to these guys, and you fucking know it. So just go crawl back over to King Daddy and suck your own tiny dick.”
“Goodness, I do hope nothing’s the matter over here.”
I squeeze both my guys’ hands in warning as I slowly turn.
Mom comes gliding up in a silver dress, her hair perfectly styled, thick black pearls around her neck. She’s clutching her usual glass of pinot grigio with a practiced hand. She peers around at all of us, looking the longest at Colton and Lukas, before her gaze settles on Tina.
“Mom, you remember Tina,” I say, still keeping myself between Lukas and Rowan.
Of course she remembers. Tina only lived over our garage for years. She swam in our pool and rode our horses. She used to climb our fence and trip the alarms to go hang out with her stoner friends at the park.
“Christina,” Mom says. “Did I know you were coming, dear?”
“Violet invited me, ma’am.”
Oh, she just called my mom “ma’am.” I am so teasing her about that later. As if she can read my mind, she shoots daggers at me with her eyes.
“Hmm.” Mom takes in all Tina’s piercings and tattoos. “What is it with you young people feeling the need to desecrate your bodies with all this ink and metal?”
“It’s called body modification,” Tina replies. “And it’s actually a practice as old as humanity. They’ve found tattoos on human remains that are over three-thousand years old.”
Mom grimaces. “Well…isn’t that a fun little anecdote for a wedding.”
“I think it’s cool,” Lukas says with a shrug. When all eyes turn to him, he tenses. “Oh—Lukas Novikov, ma’am. I’m your daughter’s—”
She raises a warning brow at him.
“I’m…Lukas,” he finishes lamely, holding out his hand.
She shakes it as if his hand were a wet fish, and angry tears sting the corners of my eyes. She’s not even trying. In fact, she’s deliberately not trying.
“And which one are you?” she says at Colton.
“That’s Colton, Mom,” I say. “If Lukas has already introduced himself, you know he must be Colton. You know their names.”
“Do not raise your voice to me, Miss Poppy.”
I take a deep breath, turning to Tina with a pleading look.
“You know, Annmarie, that is such a pretty dress,” she says, trying to buy me an out.
“Thank you, Christina.” She smooths her hand over the sparkles of her silver dress. “If only my sweet girl thought to dress for a wedding, instead of a funeral. She brings down the entire mood, sulking over here in the corner.”
“Okay, look—” I spin around, but Lukas pulls on my arm, tucking me in at his side with a muttered, “Rule number one.”
Wait, now I have to be polite to my family? Fat freaking chance. Not if they’re all gonna act like this. I can’t bear it.
“Why don’t we find our seats for dinner?” Colton says, his hand on my back as he tries to lead me away. “Mrs. St. James, it was a real pleasure meeting you—”
“Poppy, honey, you’re up at the top table with the rest of the bridal party,” Mom says over him. With one last look, she turns and walks away.
I let out a shaky breath as they both groan.
“Fuck, I think my feet are sweating,” Colton mutters.
“Your mom is scarier than my high school hockey coach,” Lukas adds. “That guy hunted elk with a bow and arrow.”
I squeeze both their hands. “Sit with Tina, and I’ll find you when this is all over.”
“Hey, yeah—and just a heads up, if you can’t find Rowan, I killed him and hid him under the table,” says Lukas.
Tina steps in too, draining her glass of wine. “Nothing is fucking worth this. I’m outta here—”
“No—Tina, please,” I beg. “We need you. The team needs you. Go with Lukas and Colton, and keep them from stuffing Rowan in a toilet.”
“Fine,” she mutters. “But I make no promises I won’t stuff him in there myself.”
This is torture. Literal torture. As the maid of honor, they sat me on the other side of Anderson, next to his best man, his little brother Cody, whose entire personality is car racing. Oh, and he once tried to feel me up at a family Christmas party.
Every time Anderson speaks to me, he leans in, like he’s telling me a secret. Which means I’ve been leaning away from him all night, practically crawling into Cody’s lap. My guys have been watching me squirm in my chair for over an hour. When I can’t take it for another second, I leave the rest of my chicken uneaten on my plate and make my way back over to the bar.
Sensing my distress, Lukas, Colton, and Tina join me. “I swear to fucking god, if he tried to touch you one more time,” Lukas growls.
“I’m fine,” I say, my hand on his arm. “It’s fine.”
“Pops, this is totally fucked,” Tina says. “Why did you even come?”
I feel the tears burn again. “Because I wanted to try, okay? Before I walked away for good, I wanted to know I did everything I could to try to make my family see me, to make them respect me, and understand what makes me happy.”
Tina gives me a sympathetic smile. “Honey, some people are just blind to what’s right in front of them. You gotta be able to let that shit go.”
“We’ve been telling her this for months,” says Lukas.
“We knew being here would only hurt you,” Colton adds.
“Say the word, and we’ll leave,” Lukas assures me. “The car is outside, and our bags are already packed. We’ll just shove Rowan’s body over a bit and—fuck—”
Feedback from the microphone has all of us wincing and turning. My eyes go wide as I see a tipsy Olivia tugging on the mic, her arm around Lemon. “Excuse me, everyone,” she says, the mic squeaking. “I know it’s not time for speeches, but I just have something to say about our beautiful bride…my best fucking friend in the whole world…Violet.”
The dining crowd quiets down, confused.
“Oh no,” I whisper, the doom already spreading.
From across the room, Mom shoots a glare over at me, like this is all my fault. Is this another maid of honor duty? I’m sorry, but I packed my butterfly net and my tranquilizers in my other dress.
Olivia breathes onto the mic saying, “When Violet first told me she was fucking her sister’s fiancé, I was like ‘whaaaat?’ ’Cause that’s just crazy, right?”
A gasp shivers over the room as I feel my heart drop from my chest. Half the guests slowly turn, their eyes locking on me. The other half of the room looks to Violet and Anderson. They sit there, hands held on the table, eyes wide.
Tina drains her third glass of wine. “Fuck, here we go.”
“Yeah, we all thought this was just like a fun thing,” Lemon adds into the mic.
“None of us ever thought she would actually go through with marrying him,” Olivia goes on to the horror of the crowd. “I mean, we all understand marrying rich, but god at what cost?”
Violet shakes her head as Anderson shifts his hand away, cheeks reddening. Mom looks apoplectic as Dad stands, gesturing to the emcee. At the other side of their table, Anderson’s mom is frozen with shock.
Olivia boldly goes on, one hand clutching her chest. “In my heart, I know this is wrong. You don’t even love him. Violet, please,” she cries, making the microphone pop again. “We’ve been through so much. And I know now that we’re meant to be together. Violet, I lo—”
The mic cuts out before Olivia can finish her drunken confession of love. Then the emcee is taking over on another mic. “Alright, folks. We’re gonna hold off on the rest of the speeches until after dessert. Who needs another refill? Just hold up your glass!”
A pair of waiters shuffle Olivia and Lemon away from the mic, while this graveyard silence is suddenly filled with the cheery staccato of Rosemary Clooney’s “Botch-A-Me.”
“What the fuck?” Lukas mutters.
Tina turns, grinning like it’s Christmas. “Can we go push Rowan in the pool now?”
She can laugh, but I feel like I’ve stepped out of my own body. I’m floating above the room, watching the chaos. Dad argues with the emcee. Mom is trying to reassure Connie Montgomery. All the guests buzz with gossip. Half of their faces are still turned my way. Did part of me always know? Is that why I called it off when I did?
Across the party, I see Violet and Anderson exchanging heated words. Then Violet is tossing her napkin onto the table and getting up. Anderson follows her, shoving back his chair.
“Pop,” Colton says, his hand on my back.
Lukas leans in. “Are you okay?”
I set my Shirley Temple down on the bar. “No,” I say in a faraway voice. “I’m not okay. Will you please excuse me?” Fueled by adrenaline, I feel half the eyes of the room watching me as I follow in the direction Violet and Anderson disappeared.
“Poppy,” my mom hisses, grabbing my arm as I pass. “Don’t follow them—”
I jerk my arm free. “Did you know?”
She dares to give me that confused look, hand clutching her literal pearls. “Know what?”
I glare at her. “About their sordid little affair lasting even before Anderson and I broke up? Did you know?”
She glances around, putting on her fakest smile. Dad is now behind her, talking to the furious Montgomerys. “Poppy, dearest, let’s not discuss this here,” she says, reaching for me again.
I back away. “Oh, so I’m ‘dearest’ to you now? I thought I was the family disappointment? I thought I deserved a scarlet letter? Selfish, you called me. Irrational, hysterical. That’s me, right?”
Her smile turns wooden. “Poppy Aurora, if you make this any worse—”
“How can it get worse?” I cry. “You’ve lied to me, and manipulated me, and bullied me for years, Mom. You knew my own fiancé was cheating on me and said nothing. God, you almost let me marry him!”
She huffs. “You’re being ridiculous.”
Blinking back my tears, I shrug helplessly. “Well, no one can ever say I didn’t try. No one can say I didn’t do everything in my power to earn your approval.” I take a deep breath, resolve settling in my chest. “But now I’m done.”
“Poppy…”
“Nana, if you’re listening, you know I love you, but you can keep your freaking money,” I call to the heavens.
“Oh, you are just being spiteful,” Mom hisses. “Please, can we just not do this here?”
“You know what, Mom? No,” I say, raising my voice. “I want to do this here. I wanna do it right here!”
Dad, and the Montgomerys, and several other faces turn my way. The whole restaurant quiets.
“Poppy,” Mom begs. “Don’t—”
“Look closely, folks!” I call out, putting both hands on my stomach. “My prudish mother doesn’t want y’all to know that I’m knocked up out of wedlock, but this is no Christmas ham stuffed under my freaking dress!”
A few gasps go around the room, and my mom looks like she’s going to either faint or morph into a snarling beast.
“That’s right, I’m pregnant with my partners’ child,” I go on. “And that’s partners plural because I have two. Give a wave, honeys!”
Eyes wide, Colton and Lukas wave their hands.
Lukas recovers first shouting, “Ice machine sex. It’s a ten out of ten, I’m telling’ ya!”
“Yep, your precious little Poppy Girl is riding two dicks at once!” A wild thrill rushes through me as I finally let this all out. “And if anyone has a problem with that, you can alllll take it up with Christina Renoux.” I point at her in the corner. “Because she’s the one who gave me the faulty condoms that likely got me pregnant!”
“You’re my hero,” she shouts over the crowd.
“Poppy,” Mom cries, angry tears in her eyes. “That is enough.”
“Yeah.” I nod, a deep sense of calm filling me. “You’re right, that is enough. I’ve had enough. You and me? We’re done.”
“Poppy—”
Turning on my heel, I go in search of Violet and Anderson.