SWNOVELS Pucking Sweet: Chapter 68
I stand under the shower’s hot spray, eyes closed, mentally preparing for game day. This will be a quick away trip. I take stock of my body, doing my pre-game damage report. Shoulders feel tight, but a massage should help. My left knee is still aching from a hard hit earlier this week. I worry another bad over-extension might tear something. That’s the last thing we need right now. We’ve already got Langers out with a knee injury.
My music plays from my phone on the counter as I turn, letting the water hit my front. I rub my face with a tired groan.
The music stops.
Leaning out of the spray, I open my eyes. Lukas is standing by the counter dressed in a backward hat, hockey tee, shorts, and socks with tennis shoes. Did he go for a run on game day? I fell asleep in his arms last night and woke up in an empty bed. The water keeps pouring down, hitting my chest and shoulder as I peer at him through the glass. “What?”
He opens his mouth and closes it again. Curling his hands into fists at his sides, he bobs once on the balls of his feet, swaying forward, then back.
I narrow my eyes. “Jeezus, you look like you’re trying to do long division in your head. What?”
“I have something to say.”
Silence stretches between us as I wait.
“I’m listening,” I finally say.
He opens his mouth. Then he closes it and groans, cursing under his breath. This man is such a goddamn disaster. How is it possible I love him so much?
“Lukas—”
“No, I’m doing it,” he shouts, one hand pressed to his forehead like feeling his feelings is physically hurting his brain. “Just give me a fucking second, alright? Jeez, you impatient fuck.”
“Okay. Take your time—”
He drops his hand to his side with an irritated huff. “Fine. I love you, okay?”
The words hang in the air between us. I swallow back my smile, heart pounding as I look through the shower glass at him. His eyes are wide, like a cat who just swallowed a bug and now doesn’t know what to do about it. “And?” I say.
His eyes narrow in frustration. “And what? You need more? Need me to recite you a goddamn poem? I’m not that guy, Cole. I’m this guy. I said it. That’s what you wanted, right? That’s what you’ve been waiting for? You wanted me to break. You wanted to move in here, and drive me crazy, and make me fucking desperate enough to confess how I feel.” He shrugs, flapping his arms like an angry penguin. “Well, now I have, and you win. Alright? I didn’t even last a week. You fucking win, Cole. Now, can you please stop torturing me?”
“How am I torturing you by just standing here?”
“By breathing!” He storms right up to the glass. “You’re in my house, Cole. You’re in my bed, and my kitchen, and my fucking shower! You’re in here,” he shouts, pointing at his temple with two fingers. “And I can’t get you out. I miss you so goddamn much. You’re standing right in front of me, and I miss you. You’re right, I’m not happy, and it’s not enough. It’s like I can’t even breathe without you and Poppy in my life. I’m angry all the time. I don’t sleep. I’m losing weight. It’s affecting my game, Cole. I haven’t gotten an assist in three fucking weeks. Did you notice?”
“I noticed,” I reply. “I notice everything about you. I never look away.”
He lets out a breath with his whole chest, a flicker of relief passing across his face. “How do I fix this? How do we just go back?”
“We don’t go back,” I reply. “We go forward. No going back, Lukas.”
“Just tell me what to do,” he pleads. “I want you. I want Poppy. I want you both here in this house.”
Heart racing, I search his face. “And the baby?”
He groans, rocking on his heels again. “Alright, I’ll admit I’m still fucking terrified. I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. But then, I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing most of the time,” he adds with a shrug. “Hockey is the only thing I’ve ever been good at. It’s the only thing I’ve ever fully understood. I don’t know how to let people love me, and I definitely don’t know how to handle a kid—and doing both those things scares me to death.”
“You’re allowed to be scared,” I say. “I’m scared too. But you have to stay in the room. You can run circles inside it all you want. Hell, I’ll buy you a treadmill. Then you can run all goddamn day. Just stay with us. That’s all we want. Don’t change. Don’t become a whole new person. You’re fine as the shitty mess that you are. Just stay.”
Slowly he nods.
I can hardly breathe. God, is this happening? Did this actually work? Did I just fix us through the power of Leo obstinance and breaking and entering?
“So…what now?” he asks, looking so completely helpless.
I glare at him. “Are you fucking serious?”
“Will you please just tell me what to do before I burst through my fucking skin?”
I smile, feeling victorious. “Get in here.”
He lets out a groan of relief before he’s stepping around the open shower glass. He walks right into the shower with all his clothes on, and then he’s in my arms. He steps under the spray with me, one arm around my shoulder and one around my waist as he kisses me. The shower soaks him in seconds, his gray T-shirt clinging to his broad shoulders.
I’ve never kissed a man before. The first thing I notice is his height. At six-foot-three, I’m usually the taller one in the equation. Poppy is a whole foot and change shorter than me. But Lukas is my height. There’s no bending required to meet his lips. It’s actually kind of nice.
He presses in, mouth slanting to taste me. Heart in my throat, I open for him, kissing him back. He’s fully dressed and soaking wet, but I’m naked. Anywhere his hands touch, they’re touching all of me. I’m fighting a shiver, even under the hot water.
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he says against my lips, pressing his forehead to mine with his hands on my shoulders. “Cole, what do I do?”
“I don’t know either,” I admit, my hands at his waist over his wet T-shirt. “Do you wanna stop?”
He pulls away, searching my face. “I don’t wanna stop. Do you wanna stop?”
I take a breath, the water pounding on my neck and back. “I don’t wanna stop.”
“What do I do?”
I smile. “Why don’t you start with taking your clothes off.”
He blinks, as if he’s only just realized he walked in here with them on. He flips off his hat and kicks off his shoes, hopping like a flamingo on one leg to peel off his wet socks. Next to go is the shirt. It slops down to the shower floor, leaving him with all his colorful ink on display up his arms and over his shoulders. He has other ink too—over his ribs, along his side, down his hip.
He tucks his thumbs into the top of his shorts, about to tug them down, when I stop him.
“Wait.”
He looks up at me, concern and rejection blooming on his face. “What—”
“Lukas, what the fuck is this?” I grab his arm and pull it to the side of the shower spray, tilting it up. There, wedged between a standing figure of Anubis and a pinup girl, is a small, cartoonish drawing of a hairy cock and balls.
He grins. “Oh, that.”
I rub my thumb over it. “Lukas, this is fucking permanent. Is this a goddamn tattoo?”
“Yeah.”
I stare at him. “You got a tattoo of a cock and balls on your arm?”
Still smiling, he just shrugs. “So? I liked it. Poppy drew it, and I was feeling nostalgic…and maybe a little vulnerable.”
“How did you do it?”
“I showed a picture to the artist.” He covers it with his hand. “Do you really hate it?”
Shaking my head, I cup his face in my hands. I’m gentle with the all-but-healed cut, pulling him back to me. “You’re fucking crazy, and I love you. Now, get on your knees, and show me how much you like a real one.”
Grinning, he tugs his shorts to the floor and kicks them aside. Now we’re just two coulda-fooled-me straight men naked in a shower. I let my gaze trail down his muscled chest to his abs, to the cut “V” of his waist. The man is completely hairless. I’ve never really paused to notice before. “Do you wax?”
“Duh. Why don’t you?”
I skim a hand over the sparse coils of black hair on my chest, my fingers brushing over my raised sternotomy scar. “I don’t know that my chest hair is gonna get in the way of you sucking my dick…unless you’re just really bad at this.”
Chuckling, he drops to his knees, his hands on my hips, my hard cock in his face. “This is the first dick I’ve ever sucked. Buckle in, bud. We could find out I have a rare lockjaw condition.”
Stopping him with a hand under his chin, I tip his face up, my back blocking him from getting a face full of shower spray. “This is the only dick you suck.”
“First and only,” he says with a grin. Then his mouth is on my tip, and I’m bracing my hand against the goddamn shower glass. He’s not as finessed as Poppy, but we’re giving him an “A” for enthusiasm. He wraps a hand around my base, keeping one at my hip, and starts teasing the underside of my shaft with his tongue.
Okay, fuck me—no, this is good.
He pulls back with a slurp, looking up at me. “Good?”
I groan, the sound low in my throat. “Mhmm. Don’t stop.” I put a hand on the back of his head and direct him back on my dick, my other hand still pressed against the shower glass. I apply pressure, guiding him to go deeper as I make little thrusts with my hips.
When he groans, the vibration goes down my dick and straight to my gut, warming me up inside. Fuck, I’m already close. He groans again, pushing back into the pressure of my hand. “Go harder,” he commands.
“Harder?”
“Come on, I’ve watched you face fuck Poppy a dozen times. If I’m gonna suck a dick, I’m sucking this dick. Make me choke—fuck—” He laughs as I drag him over to the shower wall, pressing him back against it. With his head hitting the tile, I grip his hair and feed him my tip.
“Fucking take it,” I growl. “Such a good boy on your knees for me. Swallow this cock.”
He groans again, his hands wrapping around to grip my ass. He hollows his cheeks, pulling me in deeper until I feel him gag.
“Right fucking there,” I pant. “You ready?”
He pushes on my hips, taking a breath, then I’m pushing right back, my dick tapping his throat as I thrust. “Fuck,” I shout, feeling my climax coming. “Oh, fuck—I’m gonna come—”
He grips my hips tight, letting me pound his throat as I release with a torrent of muttered curses. He gags on my cum and I ease up, slipping out till just the tip is in his mouth. Gripping my dick, I stroke, rolling with my thumb up my shaft as a last spurt of cum hits his lips.
He groans again, licking it up, eyes closed as he sags against the shower wall. Reaching down, I rub my thumb all over his lips, working my cum in before the shower can wash it away. “Look at you,” I croon, heart hammering. “You wear my cum so well. Gonna put you on your knees every damn day. Away travel just got a lot more interesting.”
He grins, opening his eyes. “You gonna leave me aching down here, bud?” His hard dick is wet and dripping from the shower.
I pull on his shoulders. “Stand up.” He gets to his feet, and I press an open-mouthed kiss to his lips, unafraid to taste myself on his tongue. “Turn around. Hands on the fucking wall.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “If you think I’m gonna rock this bottom energy every time, think again. I’ve jerked off more than once to the image of me bending you over a locker bench and pounding your ass.”
“We’ll try that next time,” I tease. “For now, you came into my shower, so it’s my turn on top.”
“Technically, it’s my shower,” he says as he dutifully turns around.
I press myself against him, wrapping a hand around his throat. I pull him to me. “Tell me the color of this tile, and I’ll tattoo your name on my dick.”
He groans, hands flat against the wall. His Adam’s apple shifts under my hand as he swallows. “Tell me how to get Poppy back, and I’ll tattoo both your names on mine.”
I pin him with my hips and squirt some body wash into my palm. Wrapping my arm around his hip, I fist his dick, coating it in the silky soap.
“Oh, fucking god—” He drops his forehead to the wall of dark blue tiles (Smoke Blue, to be exact) and presses his hips against me.
I stroke him good, pretending his dick is mine. I know just how I like it. I work him slow, rocking my hips with his as he fucks into my hand.
“You’re a fucking hand job wizard,” he groans. “I want one of these every day. Fuck, why don’t guys give more hand jobs to each other?”
“Right?” I tease. “You just enjoy, baby. Come into my fist when you’re ready. I’ll take my time. Want a finger in your ass?”
He groans, choking on a laugh as I circle my thumb over his tip. “I mean, I’ll try anything once. I should probably start with a finger before I try a dick, right?”
“My dick,” I growl, dropping my free hand down to smack his wet ass.
He sucks in a breath, his dick twitching in my hand. I lean in, smacking him again. “There’s no a dick where you’re concerned. Never the fuck again. You refer to my dick with the proper fucking pronouns.”
He laughs, arching his body as he presses into the slow stroking of my hand. “Fuck me, you’re so good at this.”
“Show me how much you like it. Come for me. Can you come on command?”
“I’m usually the one giving commands—ah—”
I grip his shoulder tight and start stroking him hard and fast. “Come.”
“Oh, holy fuck,” he cries, pressing his body against mine as his entire being becomes one raw, aching nerve of pleasure.
“Come for me, right the fuck now, you desperate fucking whore,” I growl in his ear.
Elation has me soaring and power has me trembling as I feel him rock into me and come, no ass play needed. He drops a hand down around mine, gripping my fist tight as he unloads on the shower wall. I stroke him through it, not stopping until he’s slumped against the wall and batting my hand away.
“We’ll do the finger in the ass next time,” I tease, giving his ass one last wet smack because I can. “Maybe Poppy can do the honors while I suck you down.”
He just groans, still slightly incoherent. Slowly, he rolls with his shoulder, turning to face me. There’s a look of bliss on his face. I smile because I know I put it there. Reaching out, I stroke his face. His parted lips brush my palm.
“I don’t know how to keep this quiet around the other guys,” he admits. “I don’t want to.”
“I know. I don’t want to either. But we have to be whole first. We need Poppy.”
His head is tipped back against the wall, eyes shut tight. “She hates me.”
“She loves you more than her own life,” I counter. “It’s the only way she knows how to love.”
“She’s mad at me.”
“She’s hurt, and she’s scared, and her trust in you is shaken. It’s reparable.”
He shakes his head. “She’ll never trust me with this kid. Not after I told her I don’t want one.”
“You’ll show her you’re ready. You’ll do what you do best.”
He frowns, opening one eye to squint at me. “Play hockey?”
I sigh, giving his half-hard dick a tap. He winces, shifting away with a muttered curse. “I meant you’ll be you,” I say. “Be a chaotic double Scorpio and show her with action. You love her, right?”
He rolls his head to glare at me. “Don’t be a dick.”
I sigh. “Okay, well, show her with action, but at least once you’re gonna need to say those three little words, Nov.”
He rubs his hand absently over his new cock and balls tattoo. “Fuck, why is this so hard?”
I give his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Welcome to an adult relationship. Now, clean your jizz off my shower tiles. And get ready quick. We’re gonna be late for the plane.”