SWNOVELS Pucking Sweet: Chapter 63
I thought coordinating a benefit for a children’s hospital was stressful. But that has nothing on coordinating the international media storm that is a four-way coming out press tour. I have never juggled so many PR balls in my life. And not one of these balls can be dropped or mishandled.
First there’s navigating Jake Compton coming out as queer and in a relationship with his longtime best friend—former NHL player, and Rays equipment manager—Caleb Sanford. Yeah, that’s a big flaming ball of fire. The hockey world has been taking most of that heat. I helped the boys coordinate a few public dates to show them together and happy—at the beach, getting coffee, walking the dog. We had trusted people take pictures and post them to the right sites, doing our best to control headlines and keep all the gross trolls away.
Then there’s the delicate glass ball that is Ilmari Kinnunen’s Olympic news. At least I’ve had help there, with his agent and my new contacts at the Finnish Ice Hockey Association handing press on their end.
But then there’s Rachel Price. She’s not so much a ball as she is one of those medieval things that hangs on the chain with all the spikes. She’s heavy and she’s prickly, and she’s swinging around making a freaking mess. I’ve been doing damage control in three different directions. First, there’s dealing with the news of her suspension for ethical misconduct.
Some of this has been out of my hands as the Rays stage their own internal coup against Todd Avery, our current head of Physical Therapy. As his own misconduct has come to light, the team has rallied around Rachel, demanding that Mark lift her suspension and give her Todd’s job. I’ve been coordinating press releases, and helping the guys write letters of support for Rachel. Ryan Langley left me a seven-minute soliloquy on my now-working voicemail, asking if someone in my office would type it up for him to sign.
Second, has been dealing with the reveal itself. Rachel Price is consensually dating and living with, not one, but three men…and two of those men are also dating. That news has blown up most widely on all the celebrity gossip sites. Every rag at the grocery store checkout has pictures of her face on them.
Most of the gossip is trying to paint her as some kind of sexual deviant…or a sinister mastermind, playing three men, and pitting them against each other. Whore. Slut. Floozy. Tease. Trash. The cruel names are endless. People don’t believe three men could ever choose to share one woman. No, they must be bamboozled. They’re under her spell. It must all be a lie.
There’s little I can do to control that narrative for now, as she’s currently in hiding at her family’s media-proof compound in LA. I can’t leak photos of her happy with all three of her guys because she’s not currently with her guys.
I know the feeling well. I’ve been so busy this week, I’ve hardly had the chance to see or speak to Lukas and Colton.
I step through Jake’s kitchen, pausing at the open lanai door, watching as my friend Janine from ESPN interviews the guys on the couch. I was careful to craft the perfect image for this, wholesome and family friendly. Jake, Caleb, and Ilmari are seated on the couch, Jake and Caleb holding hands. There’s just enough beach touch with the natural light and the woodgrain furniture. A pitcher of iced tea and glasses sit staged on the table in front of them, complete with lemon curls.
This was actually their idea. It’s the third prong of our public relations strategy: rehabilitating Rachel’s image. I’ve done my best to silence the trolls, but there’s no denying there’s a lot of nastiness out there. I can’t imagine being her guys and having to sit back and watch the world say heinous things about the woman they love. Of course they want to protect her. Now that they’re not trying to hide, it’s clear they’re crazy about her.
And she’s a good person. She’s kind and she’s funny. She’s a talented doctor. I think she just got caught up in the chaos. Everything moved so fast with Ilmari and the injury. She was in the middle before she even knew she’d begun.
I brush a hand over my belly. This morning in the shower was the first time I noticed a change. I now have the smallest little sign of a bump. In truth, Rachel and I are no different. We were both in the middle before we realized we’d begun. I’m in love with two men I met at work. I fought it, and I lost. Sometimes the world just brings people together.
Will this be us soon? Will my boys have to beg the world to see me for who I am, a good person with a strong heart, who they’re proud to know and love?
I know Colton loves me, and I know he wants to say it. I think he’s waiting for me to say it first. I know Lukas loves me too…but I’m getting anxious worrying that he’ll never be ready to say it. I look at the quiet strength of Ilmari on that couch, so poised as he refuses to let the press penetrate his hard shell. I look at Jake and Caleb, ready to defend Rachel and profess their love for her and each other.
What would Lukas do on that couch? He says he wants to fight for me, but I don’t need him to physically fight. I don’t need him championing my character to ESPN. I just need to know he’ll emotionally fight for me. Gosh darn it, I need to hear him say he loves me. Colton might be okay with only action, but I need words too. I need that validation. Without it, I feel frozen. Like I can’t move forward with either of them. I need us all on the same page.
Until then, I can’t tell them about the baby. I won’t use the news of a child as leverage to force an emotional confession. But the longer Lukas waits to say anything, the more likely this little chaos lentil will be the one to tell them both how things have changed.
God, why is this all so hard? Why are we even put in these impossible positions? Why can’t people just let others live? I’m in love with two men, and I want to grow old with them, and be happy with them, and raise their children without the trolls of the world telling us we’re terrible people.
Blinking back tears, I step out onto Jake’s front porch, breathing in the fresh beach air. Placing a hand on my belly, I take comfort in talking to Lentil. “Don’t you even worry about all the mean-spirited people in the world. They’re just jealous of us. They know we’re happy, and jealous people will always try to make happy people less happy. But we’re not gonna let them win, are we? I’m a fighter, and so are your daddies. We’re gonna fight for our happiness, okay? You just stay in there. I’m gonna make sure everything is okay.”