SWNOVELS Pucking Sweet: Chapter 6
“Novikov?”
My feet go still on my exercise bike. I watch as Doctor Price strolls out of her exam room, tablet in hand. Compton steps out after her, bouncing on his feet like he’s walking on a damn cloud. The fool must really have it bad for her.
Hot Doc glances around the gym again. “Lukas Novikov? You’re up next!”
“Dude, that’s you,” Paulie says from the bike next to me.
“Okay,” I say under my breath. “Go time, Nov.” I’ve got a multi-part prank planned for today, and it all hinges on this moment. I slip off my bike and wave my hand to get her attention. Pulling a Poppy, I call out with a, “Yoo-hoo! Doc, over here!”
Paulie and Woody snort, miming my wave as I saunter over to where Doc Price waits.
“Hey, Novikov.” She tucks her tablet under her arm and offers me her hand. “I’m Rachel Price. Nice to meet you.”
I shake her hand, winking over at Compton just because I can. The asshole glowers at me, so I step in a little closer. “Nice to meet you too, Doc. And you can call me Novy. Everyone does.”
She gestures for me to go into the exam room first. My gaze darts around as I search for my prize. Right there, resting on the counter next to her coffee cup, is a set of keys.
Bingo.
She keeps the door open as she follows me in. “Okay, so this is just a routine hip and knee checkup. We’ll do some range of motion exercises, and I’ll test your flexibility, making note of any pain or worry spots you may have.”
“Righto.”
“Doctor Tyler said you tripped and fell off a treadmill last week. Banged up your knee pretty good, right? Do you mind showing me which knee?”
God, that was fucking embarrassing. Hit both elbows too. And my hip. I manage to huff a laugh and wave her off. “Oh, that was nothing. I feel fine.”
“Mhmm. Hop up on the table for me, Novy.”
I do as she asks, and she sets the tablet down next to me. Without preamble, she places both hands on my left knee and presses in lightly with her thumbs on either side of my kneecap.
“Ow—fuck,” I all but squeal, jerking away from her.
“But you’re fine, right?” she says, clearly unimpressed.
I mutter a curse, rubbing the sore spot.
“I think it’s likely you may still have some intramuscular bruising from the fall. Rate your pain for me on a scale of one to five.”
“Uhh…yeah, like a one,” I say with a shrug.
She looks up at me. “Do you want me to squeeze the knee again?”
I hold her gaze. “It’s a two.”
She nods. “The most I want you doing today is a leisurely walk on the treadmill. Otherwise, you’re on the RICE regime for the rest of the week. Rest, ice—”
“Compression and elevation,” I finish for her. “Yeah, I know the deal.”
“Good. Because we want you in top shape for the season starter. No weights, no high impact. Doc Tyler did your initial checkup after the fall,” she goes on, picking up her tablet. “And he says here that he’s confident there’ll be no lasting damage so long as you rest, ice, compress—”
“And elevate. Yeah, I got it.”
She surveys me for a second before nodding. “Good. And hey, Novy?”
“Yeah, Doc?”
She holds my gaze. Fuck, she looks as serious as Poppy. “Within the four walls of this practice center, you can call me Doc, Rachel, Doc Price, or Doctor Rachel Price. What you will not call me is Hot Doc. Agreed?”
I nod. “You got it, Doc.”
“Good. You will also not lie about pain or minimize your injuries. I’m on your side, Novy. Your pain is my pain. Tell me the truth. That’s how we keep you on the ice longer. Agreed?”
Searching her face, I give her my truth. “My hip hurts from the fall. It’s still a little bruised…worse than the knee. I’ve been popping ibuprofen like candy.”
She smiles. “Thank you, Novy. That’s very helpful. Now, lie back on the table, and let’s do these range of motion exercises. I promise to be gentle as a lamb. And I’ll check that hip while we’re at it.”
Ten minutes later, she’s tapping my shoulder. “Okay, you’re all good to go. Stick to the RICE regime, like I said. If anyone from strength training gives you any problems this week, direct them to me.”
“You got it,” I say, sitting up and swinging my legs off the table. “Hey—do you mind if I wash my hands in here before I duck out?”
She’s got her eyes back on her tablet. “Be my guest.”
Cool as a cucumber, I saunter over to the sink and make a show of turning the water on and noisily pressing the soap dispenser. Then I reach out and gently pluck her keys off the counter. Quick as I can, I tuck them in my pocket. “Ooookay,” I call, jerking a few paper towels out of the holder. “Thanks for everything, Doc.”
“Yeah, just make sure you double-knot your shoelaces from here on out, okay?”
I spin around and give her a lame-o salute. “Right you are, Doc. I’ll just see myself out, eh?”
She follows me to the door and I duck out as she calls for J-Lo. He’s ready and waiting, flashing her that endearing, toothless smile. As soon as she steps into the exam room with him, I snap my fingers at two of the young farm team guys. “Patty, Flash Gordon, on me.”
“Yeah, boss?” says Flash.
“I need your help with something top secret. Can you do it?”
Their eyes brighten. God, rookies can be so easy. These two can’t be a day over nineteen.
“Yeah, anything you need,” says Patty.
On principle, I hand the keys to Flash Gordon, starting with my own. “Okay, here’s the deal,” I say, lowering my voice. “I need you to go down to the parking garage and find my truck. In the back, you’ll find a ball pit’s worth of colored balls tied up in black garbage bags. You both with me so far?”
Flash nods, taking the keys. “Truck, bags, balls. Got it.”
Fuck, these guys get to vote in this country.
“Okay, I want you to take all those balls and move them into this truck.” I hand him the second set of keys. “Can you do it?”
Patty the Brainless nods while Flash glances down at the second set of keys held flat in his palm. “Whose truck is this, Nov?”
I puff out my chest a little. “It’s Mr. Novikov to you. And that information is above your pay grade. Can you do it? Yes or no. Don’t make me find more willing rookies.”
“We got it,” says Patty, snatching the keys out of Flash’s hand.
“Good boys.” I slap both their shoulders. “You have fifteen minutes. Go.”
The two of them dart away just as Morrow saunters up behind me, munching on some granola. His walnut-brown eyes lock on me. “Do I dare ask what you’re doing?”
“Plausible deniability would say no, but I’d stick around this afternoon for the show.”
He raises a dark brow. “The show?”
“Yeah, around four o’clock, I’m thinking. We’re meeting down in the parking garage. Spread the word.” I try to reach my hand into his granola bag, but he bats it away, the greedy fuck.
“And until then? What are you gonna do?”
I glance around the gym, looking for my other mark. “Well, right now, I’m gonna go nurture my tender little sprout of a prank idea and just hope it grows fruit.”
He pauses, mid-chew. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
I just laugh and step past him. I slip my shirt off, stepping up onto the open treadmill next to where Langers is lifting weights. This Judas, he thought it was soooo funny to leave me alone with Poppy. Let’s see how he likes it when the tables are turned.
“Hey,” he pants, dropping his weight bar down with a clank.
“Hey,” I say, making a show of tugging my shirt back on now that he’s looking. “Just finished my physical. You do yours yet?”
“Nah. I’m up in, like, ten. Just wanted to finish this set before she calls me in.”
“Well, don’t get too sweaty,” I warn. “You’ll get the table all sticky when you take your clothes off.”
“Gotta finish my set,” he grunts, lifting the bar up again.
Doc Price calls out. “Kinnunen, you’re up next!”
I feel giddy as I press my treadmill’s “on” button.
After a minute or two, Doc Price walks up behind me. “Hey, have you seen Kinnunen this morning?”
I glance around and shrug. The Bear is pretty damn hard to miss. He has the look and build of a Finnish Thor. “Maybe his practice ran long,” I say. “I’d just skip him, Doc. He’ll show up eventually.”
She sighs, checking her tablet. “Langley, you’re up!”
The weight bar clangs as Langers drops it and sits up. “Great,” he calls in that cheery tone. “Yeah, Doc. I’ll be right there!”
I watch as they walk away, parting for a moment as he heads into the exam room, and she goes into the little broom cupboard of an office. I slam the red button on my treadmill, stopping it. Compton walks up, leaning in with both arms on my machine. “You mind telling me what the fuck you’re doing?”
I laugh. “Just wait.”
“Nov—”
“Watch and wait,” I say, hopping off my machine. I grab him by the shoulders and turn him to face Doc’s office.
Morrow steps up on Compton’s other side. “Novy, what the hell did you do?”
“I told Langers it was a full physical.”
They both glance sharply at me and Morrow sighs. “Nov—”
“Hey, I owed him one. He left me to the wolves last week. I got cornered by Poppy, and now I’m in private remedial PR lessons. Oh!” Doc Price emerges from her office and steps into the exam room. I sling an arm around Compton, holding my breath. “Here we go…”
The three of us stand still, waiting.
“Ohmygod,” we hear Doc shriek from inside the room. “What the hell are you doing?”
“What’s happening?” says J-Lo, standing with Karlsson and Teddy.
“I convinced Langers to get naked for his knee check,” I say. “Just wait…”
“Oh, fuck those guys,” we hear Langers shout from inside the room. “I’m gonna kill Novy!”
In moments, Doc Price steps out, clutching her tablet, and we all burst into laughter. Her eyes find me at once, glaring from me to Compton.
“See somethin’ you like in there, Doc?” I call.
Her eyes flash with mirth, even as she tries to keep on her mask of annoyance. “Who are you hazing here? Him or me?”
Langley comes barreling out of the room, tugging his shirt down. “Fuck you, Novy,” he shouts. “You guys are all jerks!” With pink blooming in his cheeks, he ducks back into the exam room.
“Please tell me he stripped totally naked,” I say, tears in my eyes.
“No, he didn’t,” Doc replies. “And just for future reference—the first guy who gets naked in my exam room is gonna get benched for a week. Bad idea to piss off the person who signs your medical releases.”
“What’s wrong, Doc?” I call. “Can’t appreciate the male form?”
Morrow shoots me a warning look.
“Oh, I appreciate the hell out of a fine male form,” she teases right back. “I just like to have finished my damn coffee first.”
Compton joins in. “So, you would want to see us naked…just later in the day, after you’ve finished your coffee.”
“Yeah, it’s all a matter of timing,” I add with a nod.
“Noted, Doc,” he says with a grin.
“We could try again after lunch,” calls Walsh.
From somewhere over by the exercise bikes, a few of the guys start singing the chorus of “Afternoon Delight” and we all crack up again.
“You’re all twelve,” says Doc, turning back to her exam room.
“And you love our dumb asses!” I shout, the whole gym howling as she closes her door.
“You are so gonna get traded,” Morrow mutters. “Or fired for harassment.”
“Nah, Doc Price is cool. Way cooler than Avery the Ass. And I promise all my other pranks will involve everyone’s clothes staying on.”
Both Morrow and Compton turn.
“Other pranks?” says Morrow.
At that moment, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out and read a message from Flash.
FLASH GORDON: Huston, we have a problem!!!!
The asshole spelled “Houston” wrong. And there’s a video. I tap the play button, groaning as I watch Patty stumble around the parking garage, trying to catch all the colorful plastic balls tumbling from one of the broken trash bags. “Motherfuck—” I take a deep breath. “Must I always do everything myself?”
“What’s wrong?” asks Morrow.
“What’s wrong is we need another flood,” I say, shoving my phone in my pocket. “Only this one needs to target incompetent rookies.” Turning on my heel, I march away.
“Hey—you better not be pranking Poppy,” he calls after me. “Novy, I’m serious. Leave her alone!”
I just wave over my shoulder. “Sorry, I’ve gotta go bust some balls.”
Before Doc notices her keys are missing.