SWNOVELS Pucking Sweet: Chapter 34
Where the hell is Poppy? She disappeared right as she got off the karaoke stage, and we need to finish our conversation. I fly out for a game first thing in the morning, and I won’t see her again for two days. I really don’t want to leave us like this.
Fuck, why did I have to be such a possessive asshole? I knew about Novy. He didn’t say a word, even when I pressed him, and still I knew. That should’ve been my warning right there. Novy is never shy about talking about the bunnies he’s wheeling. But one night with Poppy, and he locks up tighter than a fucking vault?
Yeah, the big red flag is waving in my face. No matter what she says, I know he’s not over her. Who could be once they’ve had a taste?
I groan, dragging a hand over my face. Sanford is on the karaoke stage now, wowing the crowd with a Måneskin cover. He dedicated the song to Doc Price, which really got the Rays section going. I thought she had a thing for Jake, but the way she’s watching Sanny play right now should come with an explicit content warning.
I pause in my pursuit of Poppy, eyes narrowing on our Barkley Fellow. People are complicated, right? Attraction doesn’t end just because you decide to commit yourself to one person. Rachel can be with Jake and still be attracted to Sanford.
Attraction is raw, animal instinct. Our humanity comes in when we decide whether to act on that instinct. And there’s attraction between Poppy and Novy. It’s undeniable. What I need to know is whether they’re going to act on it again.
She assures me they’re done. So, why can’t I just let it lie?
Worse, why do I keep picturing them together?
I groan again, shoving on the door to enter the restaurant. It’s like a hot and horny nightmare playing on repeat in my mind. I can’t stop picturing him with her, and it’s confusing the hell out of me. Most of the time, it makes me just as hard as it does angry.
I don’t want Novy touching her. I don’t want him even thinking about her. That he tasted her before me will haunt me until I die. If I had a machine to remove all memory of her from his brain, I would strap him in it and push the goddamn button.
Instead, I get to watch her “handle him” as he buzzes around like a cocky little bee, stinging her with jokes and longing looks. This is why you don’t try to date the people you work with, right? How do I set the wanting her aside and do my job? How do I stifle this jealousy as I watch him flirt with her right in front of me?
I told him to leave her alone. I told him to back the fuck off.
Great job, Cole. That backfired spectacularly.
Now he’s even more interested in her than he was before.
“Fuck,” I mutter, searching for a head of long blonde hair in the crowd.
This is my own goddamn fault. She’s right, I shouldn’t have played it safe. I shouldn’t have waited. I had years to try for her with him nowhere in the picture. But I was too wrapped up in my career to take her off her pedestal and put her in my arms where she belongs. Now my girl is trading hungry looks with my teammate and lying to herself about it.
Fuck, I can’t do this. I can’t share her. This is too hard. I liked it better when she was a dream I was chasing, unobtainable and flawless. This real person with raw instincts and moods and needs is too powerful. She’ll devastate me. She’ll break me wide open. She’ll ruin me and leave me for dead.
I grab Karlsson’s arm as he passes. “Hey, you seen Poppy?”
He shakes his head. “Not since she was onstage.”
I let him go and he walks away. Feeling desperate, I leave the restaurant and head for the parking lot. I find her car parked in one of the back rows. Where the fuck is she?
Weaving my way through the cars, I loop around the far side of the outdoor bar area, my feet sinking into the sand of the beach. The sun has all but set. Now the ocean is a pale blue gray under the half-moon. The surf rocks in and out, small whitecaps foaming in the sand. I can’t hear it over the music coming from the two stages at Rip’s.
A few people wander along the water’s edge—a couple holding hands, teenagers with a pair of dogs. I stop, taking in the figure of a lone woman standing in the surf fifty yards away. She holds her little wedge sandals in one hand. Her skinny jeans are soaked to the knee.
“Poppy,” I say on a breath, the tension in my chest uncoiling. I kick off my shoes, leaving them in the sand as I go to her. The music fades with the bright lights of the bar as I enter that realm of the in between where the ocean meets the beach. “Poppy!”
She jolts, not turning around. “Go away.”
Oh, fuck. Is she crying? I run the last ten yards to her, my feet sinking deep in the sand. “What’s wrong?” I reach for her, but she pulls back, splashing away from me.
“Just go, Colton. I don’t want to see you right now.”
That tension coils right back inside my chest. “What happened?”
“Ask Lukas,” she calls over her shoulder.
That stops me in my tracks. The surf crashes against my calves, pulling at my ankles as it drags sand over my bare toes. Anger churns in my stomach, making me feel sick as I watch her walk away.
“Is she okay?”
I close my eyes, trying to control the shaking of my hands as I slowly turn. Novy is crossing the sand toward me. “What the hell did you do now?”
He stops ten feet away. “What did she say?”
“Nothing,” I growl. “Except she doesn’t even want to fucking see me. What did you do, asshole? What did you say to her?”
He groans. “Look, I just got a little tongue-tied.”
Seeing red, I barrel toward him, ready to pound him into the sand. “I told you what would happen if you fucking hurt her!”
“It was unintentional,” he says, raising both hands. “And she clawed me right back, I’ll have you know. I’ll need therapy to unpack all the baggage she threw at me.”
“You’ll need therapy and a new fucking spleen.” I lunge at him.
His forearms go up to block his face as I take a swing. Then we’re tackling each other to the sand. We roll, punching and elbowing. I get him under me, but the sand gives way too easy, and he frees his arm, punching me in the ribs.
“Fuck,” I wheeze. The man hits like a hammer. “I told you to back off.”
“And I’m telling you I can’t,” he grunts, flipping me down to the sand.
“Stop it!” Poppy appears beside us. “Lukas—Colton, stop. I mean it!”
The fight goes out of me as I glance over his shoulder and see the look of shock and disgust on her face. I lie flat on the sand, letting him right himself. He scrambles off me and gets to his feet in a shower of sand. I shut my eyes, throwing both hands up over my face.
“Poppy, look—”
“Don’t touch me, Lukas.”
That has me on my feet. I blink sand from my eyes as I follow her voice, moving to her side. Her lips are parted as she huffs, cheeks pink. She ran to us, leaving her shoes to be swept away by the surf. Her eye makeup is smeared from crying. Her long blonde hair is caught in the ocean breeze. Fuck, she looks devastating.
And angry.
And sad.
I made my girl sad.
All the breath leaves my chest as I sigh, looking between them. “Please, just talk to us. At the very least fill me in too, so I know why you’re so upset.”
She turns to me, crossing her arms. The wind sends a few strands of her hair fluttering across her face. “Tell me about the game.”
“What game?”
Her glare turns icy. “The game you two made up about me. Finders keepers, right? I want to know how it works.”
I glare at Novy.
“I told her there was no game,” he says.
“Yes, you did,” she snaps. “You cornered me in the bathroom, and you told me that chasing me into bed is a game you’re both playing—”
“She misunderstood,” Novy says at me. “That was the whole me getting tongue-tied part that really sent everything off the rails.”
“Oh, and it was on the rails before then?” I challenge. “You chased her into the goddamn bathroom?”
“I followed her,” he clarifies. “It was impetuous, but I’m not feeling quite myself at the moment—”
“Impetuous?” she echoes. “Lukas, it was borderline criminal. You don’t lock yourself in the bathroom with a woman and tell her you’re using her to win some creepy sex game!”
“Okay, I want to strongly clarify that there is no game,” he says again. “Cole, please.”
“Please, what?” I cross my arms too.
“Help me,” he begs. “Tell her that this isn’t a game to us. Tell her what finders keepers means, before she sets me out to sea on a goddamn boogie board.”
She looks to me. I can see the hope she’s trying to hide in her eyes under a thick wall of hurt and suspicion. She wants to believe I’m still a good guy. She wants to believe I’m the right guy. Taking a deep breath, I hold her gaze. “You’re not a game to me, Poppy. Or if you are, you’re the endgame. You’re it. That’s what ‘playing for keeps’ means. It means this is not catch-and-release. I catch you; I fucking keep you. I love you, and marry you, and follow you to the ends of the fucking earth.”
Her eyes go wide, and I take a step closer. “But I am not going to compete with this asshole for your attention or your affection. You’re attracted to him. I get that. You can’t help it. I’m sure you’d probably stop if you could—”
“Okay, ouch,” Novy growls. “I’m standing right here, asshole.”
She glances between us.
“My jealousy issues are my own,” I say at her. “I need you to let me work through them in my way. In the meantime, you can be attracted to him all you want. What I need to know is if you’re going to act on it again. Because for as much as I dream about you and want you, at the end of the day, I want to be with someone who wants to be with me. Not someone who’s settling for me while dreaming of someone else.”
She blinks back tears. “Colton, I—”
“Wait, don’t I get to say anything here?” Novy butts in. “He gets a big, long speech, and I just get to stand here with my dick in my hand?”
I swallow a growl of frustration, turning to him.
Poppy looks nervously between us, her gaze settling on Novy. I’m pleased to see the same hope isn’t shining in her eyes. He’s already hurt her once. She doesn’t want to open the door to letting him do it again. But she’s still curious to hear what he has to say.
Fuck, is this more than physical attraction? Did this cocky, immature asshole actually find a way to worm inside her heart?
We both look to him, waiting.
He glances between us. “Well, I can’t just whip out a speech like he can,” he whines.
Poppy sighs.
“What? I mean, come on, Cole’s probably been practicing that in the mirror for weeks.”
“That came straight from the heart,” I assure her. “That’s this thing that sits right about here,” I add at him, tapping my chest with my fist. “The poets like to claim it’s responsible for regulating things like love and other genuine human emotions.”
He rolls his eyes before turning back to Poppy. “Okay, so I’ll admit I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I’m not a poet. I’m just a guy who plays hockey. And I’m not good enough for you or nice enough for you,” he goes on. “You’ll probably have to hide me in your closet if your parents ever come to visit. But I mean, there’s something here, right?”
Poppy stiffens, saying nothing.
With no encouragement whatsoever, he charges ahead. “And I mean, sure, our default settings are sarcasm and insults, but it’s fun, right? I’ve never had a girl serve it back to me the way you can. I’ve never been, I don’t know, inspired? Is that the word?” He looks to me.
I raise my brow. “You really think I’m gonna fucking help you right now?”
“Fine, fuck you too,” he mutters, turning back to Poppy. “I’m trying to say that you’re different. And this feels different. I feel different.”
“Different how?” she murmurs, and my heart fucking shatters.
Fuck. This is more than physical attraction. She’s genuinely interested in him. Somewhere between her moving here and now, Lukas Novikov has managed to charm my girl.
“This can’t happen,” I hear myself say.
They both look to me. Poppy’s hurt eyes are wide. “What can’t?”
“You can’t want us both,” I declare. “I don’t fucking share. You have to choose, Poppy.”
Novy steps in. “Well, I’m not giving you an ultimatum, so that makes me more attractive, right?”
“This isn’t an ultimatum,” I counter. “This is me knowing what I want from my partner.” I turn back to Poppy. “My cards are all on the table. You know where I stand. I won’t press you to make a choice now.”
“Colton, please don’t go,” she begs.
But I have to leave. I can’t stand here and watch her do the calculations on which one of us she wants more.
This is my own fault. I waited too long, and now I’m somehow in competition with Lukas Fucking Novikov. I give her a weak smile, feeling utterly shattered inside. “When he breaks your heart, come find me, okay? I’ll be waiting.”