Puck Shy (Carolina Comets)

“No way, you’re totally Sign Girl, aren’t you?” I turn to find the woman from the first game I attended sitting a few seats down again. “Like the original one, yeah?”

I hold my finger to my lips, and she laughs.

“Oh, man. We’ve been following you since the beginning. I have no idea how you’re getting these signs all over these last two weeks, but it’s been entertaining, that’s for sure.”

“Well, I’m glad. Delia, right?”

“Yes, you remembered!”

“Kind of easy for me. I’m a big Beetlejuice fan.”

“That’s fair.” She turns toward me, leaning across the seat next to her. “So what’s the story—you two dating or something?”

“Or something,” I answer.

“Playing your cards close. I can respect that.”

“It’s a little complicated. I sort of screwed things up, and I’m trying to make up for it.”

“Oh, trust me—I totally understand that. I almost lost the best thing that happened to me too. But after a very well-thought-out goat heist, it all worked out in the end.” She waves her hand like she didn’t just drop a really juicy tidbit. “Anyway, what’s the sign say tonight? Is this the one where you win him back?”

“I hope so.”

“I hope so too. My brother-in-law is actually Collin’s agent. He’s a really great guy. We’re big fans of his.”

“Is he really?”

“Yep. Shep’s a total shithead, but he’s really great at what he does. Not that I’d ever tell him that.”

“You know that girl I was here with last time?”

“Gorgeous blonde?”

“Yeah. She sold some photographs to Shep’s wife.”

“No.” Delia’s eyes widen. “You have no idea how obsessed I am with her work. I keep trying to steal Denver’s pictures. What a small world!”

“It really is.”

“All right. I have nachos, popcorn, a large fry—extra ranch, of course—and a large Coke to split,” Delia’s husband says, plopping down into the seat next to her.

“Oh thank god. Sustenance.” She reaches for the food, shoving a handful of fries into her mouth all at once.

“Hey! I got those for my ranch.”

I think he means he got ranch for his fries, but I’m not going to question it.

Delia holds out a bucket of popcorn to me. “Want some?”

“No, but thank you.”

“If you change your mind, just let us know. Zach tends to go overboard on the snacks.”

“Because you tend to hog them all,” he grumbles.

I’m too nervous to eat right now. Hell, I’ve barely been able to stomach anything for the last few weeks. Ryan played my message to Collin back to me, and I’d had no idea he heard everything I said. It makes me sick that he might think he’s not worth it for me.

The team is about to take the ice for warmups any minute now, and from where I’m sitting, there’s a clear view to the bench across the way.

There’s no way Collin will be able to miss me.

“Hey, what’d I miss?” Ryan drops into the seat next to me.

“Just me trying to hold my vomit down.”

“Stop it. It’ll be fine. He’s going to love it.”

“Are we sure? I’ve seen all of his post-game interviews. Every time they ask him about the signs, he changes the subject.”

“No. Every time they ask him, his lips twitch and then he changes the subject. He likes it. Trust me.”

The few people in their seats already start buzzing around us, and I pull my attention to the ice.

A player from the Comets smacks a bunch of pucks off the wall and then the skates hit the ice.

I know the minute Collin steps out.

Ugh. Even from the other side of the ice, he looks incredible.

It’s been nearly three weeks since I’ve seen him. That’s three weeks of pure agony. Three weeks of having to live with the fact that I’m a moron for ever letting myself think he wasn’t worth it.

Because he is.

He’s worth it all and more.

He stops in the middle of the ice, his head bent low, talking to Rhodes about something.

“Go!” Ryan hisses beside me. “Do it!”

On unsteady legs, I rise from my seat and head for the stairs.

I walk down the few steps until I’ve reached the glass. Then, with a steadying breath, I push my sign up against it.

I have no idea how long I hold it there. Seconds, maybe minutes. I don’t keep track because all I can focus on is remembering to breathe.

There’s a tap on the glass, and I stumble backward, dropping the sign.

Collin.

He’s staring down at me with those green eyes I love so much.

He’s not smiling…but he’s not frowning either. He’s just watching.

Unsure of what to do, I lift my hand and wave.

“Harper!” Ryan hisses from somewhere behind me.

And just like in his interview, Collin’s lips twitch.

“I love you!” I shout, unable to hold it in any longer.

His eyes widen and he takes a surprised step back.

At least I hope it’s a surprised step.

I hope that in the last few weeks, he hasn’t changed his mind.

Someone calls his name, and he looks torn between wanting to stay and needing to go.

“Go,” I tell him. “I’ll wait for you as long as you need.”

“Oh, god. My arms are getting so tired.”

“Then drop the sign. Collin’s already seen it.”

“No! It’s my thing—my brand. You should know that, Miss Social Media Guru.”

“Ugh. Whatever. Some days I really just want to erase my Instagram. I—”

A collective gasp moves through the arena and people shoot to their feet, trying to see what’s going on.

There’s a player down, and without even seeing who it is, I know it’s Collin.

“What happened?” I ask the person on the other side of me.

They shrug. “I don’t know. I missed it. Looks hurt though.”

I want to yell Yeah, no shit he’s hurt, but I refrain.

I watch as team medics run onto the ice to check on him. He’s still down, and I really don’t like that he’s still down.

Finally, after what feels like hours, with just over half of the third period left to play, Collin is helped off the ice. He gives the crowd a thumbs-up as he’s assisted down the tunnel.

I suck in a large gulp of air, realizing I was holding my breath.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Ryan reassures me, pulling me back down into my seat. “I’m sure he’s fine. It’s probably just precautionary. He walked off on his own and gave a thumbs-up. That’s a really good sign.”

I exhale sharply, then suck in another breath of air, trying to calm myself. My stomach is rolling and I think I may barf. I’d give anything right now to know he’s okay.

The game resumes, and the minutes tick by so damn slowly.

“Excuse me? Miss Kelly?” There’s a man with a very official-looking badge hanging around his neck leaning over me. “Could you come with me, please?”

I look at Ryan, and she just shrugs.

“I’ll be right back,” I tell her, handing her my sign. “What’s this about?” I ask the gentleman as I follow him up the stairs.

“Mr. Wright wanted to see you. We don’t usually do this, but since we’re all such big Sign Girl fans…”

He doesn’t say anything else as he leads me through a series of tunnels and doors until finally he pushes one open and there sits a battered-looking Collin.

He gives me a small grin when he sees me, and my feet carry me across the room on instinct.

I don’t stop until I’m standing at his knees.

There’s a large gash above his left brow, and it’s obvious he’s favoring the right side of his body.

“I look worse than I feel, I promise.”

They’re the first words he’s said to me in weeks, and suddenly they’re my favorite words in the world.

“What happened?”

He shrugs, then winces at the movement. “Took a funny hit and my helmet came loose. My head bounced off the ice when I went down.”

“Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah. I’m done for the night, but I’m okay. Nothing serious. Just sore.”

“See, I told you all the ramming was an awful idea.”

“I didn’t hear you complaining.”

I blush at his words.

A silence falls between us. I have so many words I want to fill it with, but I don’t know where to start.

“Harper, I—”

“No,” I interrupt. “I want to go first, okay?”

“Okay. But can you at least come here?”

He reaches out for me, and I step between his legs. He drops his forehead to mine, one hand on my waist, the other cradling my face.

He sighs the moment we make contact, and I feel the exact same way.

“You wanted to go first?” he asks.

I nod, then swallow. “I…I’m sorry. I messed up. I…I pushed you away. I got scared and I freaked. I didn’t know how to handle the fact that whatever we had wasn’t casual. Hell, I don’t think it’s ever been casual, really. I didn’t know what to do with the fact that you loved me, didn’t know how to accept that, how to allow it…” I lick my suddenly dry lips. “I…I lost my father when I was sixteen. We didn’t find out until after he passed that he was unfaithful to my mother for years. We had no clue, and it hurt us deeply. It hurt me deeply. He was my best friend. We did everything together. He was the one who turned me on to horror. He was the one who encouraged me to pursue art. He was the one who believed in me. And he lied. Over and over again. Straight to my face. It hurt so much to know that. I’ve been torn between loving him and being angry at him for the last eight years.”

I sigh, pulling back, looking up into his eyes. “But I’m tired of being mad. I’m tired of being scared. I’m tired of always waiting for the other shoe to drop because I can’t trust anyone. I want to be happy. Bold. Brave. And I want to fall in love and live in the moment of it, not worry about how or when it’ll fail. Being without you these last few weeks… It hurt so bad and I don’t want to feel like that again.”

I reach out, brushing a tentative finger over his fresh cut.

“I love you, Collin, and I think—” I shake my head. “No, I know you’re worth it. Worth taking that risk for…if you’ll let me.”

He doesn’t say anything for a long moment, and I worry that maybe I’m too late.

But then he finally speaks.

“You know, I think a part of me started falling for you the first time we met.”

“Really? Was it my driving skills?”

He chuckles, then winces. “Yes. It was definitely that. And also the fact that you were just so…cute.” I glare at him. “You were funny and different and I just really liked being around you.” He shakes his head. “I should have known. Should have known it when you calmed the storm inside me then.”

“You’re welcome.”

He grins, pulling me closer. “Can I say something without you freaking out on me?”

“Yes.”

“I love you.”

I sigh. “Say it again.”

“I love you.” He brushes his lips against mine. “I didn’t mean to fall. You were just supposed to be a distraction, something to keep my mind off the game. And it worked, maybe a little too well. I just…I love you. So much.”

“I love you too.”

He kisses me slowly and softly and for so long I’m sure the game is long over by now.

When we finally pull apart, there’s a permanent smile etched on my face.

“One more question,” he says.

“What’s that?”

“The signs all over the country…how’d you do it?”

“It was Ryan’s idea. She used her social media following to find hockey fans, and it just worked.”

“It really did. I think tonight’s sign was my favorite though.”

“Yeah?”

“Definitely.” He nods. “Because I love you too.”