Chapter 18:
The next morning in Amara’s room
Ryan: “Amara…?”
In Ryan’s head: Amara…where is she?
Ryan: “Amara? Amara, are you in here?”
In Ryan’s head: No, she’s not here. (in the kitchen)
Ryan: “Have you seen Amara?”
Aria: “No, Rico is home, they didn’t go out for training today. (two hours later outside)”
Renato: “What are you looking for, boss?”
Ryan: “Have you seen Amara?”
In Renato’s head: Shit. She was running from him? (three hours earlier in the garden)
Amara: “Hey Ren.”
Reanto: “Good morning Amara. How can I help you today?”
Amara: “Can I borrow your car?”
Reanto: “No.”
Amara: “Why not?”
Reanto: “Because I haven’t forgotten what you did to Luca’s car.”
Amara: “Did you forget that I gave him a brand new car as well?”
Reanto: “Still no I won’t give you my car. Not until you tell me who you’re running from.”
Amara: “I’m not running from anyone. I’m avoiding someone.”
Reanto: “Fine, just don’t burn my car down.”
Amara: “I won’t, I promise. (present time)”
Ryan: “So you gave her your car and she went out?”
Reanto: “I didn’t know she was avoiding you.”
In Ryan’s head: Of course she would avoid me.
Ryan: “You better pray that she doesn’t leave this country or-”
Reanto: “Damon is still here, remember? She won’t leave her brother behind, can she?”
Ryan: “Mhm. How are the arrangements going? The consignment will be here in an hour.”
Reanto: “The warehouse is ready and our men are on guard twenty four hours. (Ryan’s office)”
Damon: “So the consignment is here and everything seems right.”
Ryan: “Yeah.”
Damon: “So I’m done here, I guess. Amara also wanted to leave as soon as possible. It was surprising to be honest, I thought she liked this place. It was good doing business with you, Diavolo.”
Ryan: “Likewise. So when are you leaving?”
Damon: “The day after tomorrow probably. (meanwhile in the middle of nowhere)”
Karl: “Why are you running away from him?”
Amara: “It’s called avoiding, Karl. I’m just avoiding him.”
Karl: “Didn’t he say that he wants to talk?”
Amara: “I know I designed you this way to monitor me 24/7 but now I’m regretting it.”
Karl: “I’m an AI, I don’t judge as humans do.”
Amara: “Yeah I know that’s why I designed you but let’s not talk about last night like. I’m trying to forget whatever happened last night and what I did.”
Karl: “There are other humans who have done worse things than kissing a handsome man. Humans do this all the time.”
Amara: “Karl, have you seen me kiss someone before? Do I do this all the time? And that wasn’t just a kiss, that didn’t feel like just a kiss. Now just shut the fuck up.”
Karl: “You don’t know that. When you say shut the fuck up it means you want me to keep talking. You face reality instead of avoiding it, right? You designed me this way.”
Amara: “Thanks for reminding me of my mistake. I’m avoiding him. Why wouldn’t I avoid him? What does he wanna talk about? He stole my first kiss, I’m pissed and I’m angry at myself because I enjoyed it, I kissed him back. What was I thinking?”
Karl: “Yes, keep talking, let everything out.”
Amara: “And I already know what he wants to talk about. There are two things he would possibly say. Either he would say ‘it was a mistake’ or maybe he would want more and I refuse to be his one-night stand.”
Karl: “What if you’re wrong?”
Amara: “How could I be wrong? Don’t you know Diavolo’s reputation? He’s a manwhore. That man needs a new woman every night.”
Karl: “He hasn’t brought any women into his house for weeks.”
Amara: “Really? Maybe he’s doing the deed outside the house.”
Karl: “He hasn’t slept with any woman since you came here. I’ve watched him everyday, I have eyes everywhere, remember?”
Amara: “I know what you’re about to say next ‘you’ve designed me this way’. I know, but it was for safety purposes. I never asked you about the people around me or what they’re doing unless it’s necessary for me to know. I respect their privacy, I never miss use it and their sex life isn’t my business.”
Karl: “Yeah but since you’re misjudging him, I had to tell you.”
Amara: “So let me get this straight, just because he hasn’t slept with any woman you think he’s changed? I don’t deny the fact that people can change but only when they want to change and I can’t read his mind, I never read his mind. I know nothing about him. I just know about the things that everybody knows and that’s not enough. I don’t trust the people whose mind I can read then how can I trust a man who’s mind is like a closed locker? I’m avoiding him, it’s a form of self-care actually, and protecting myself from the harm that would occur in the future.”
Karl: “You’re right in your place but you should just listen to what he has to say.”
Amara: “I would listen to him if he hadn’t talked to me the way he did the other day. He called me a spoiled brat. He knows nothing about me, he knows nothing about what kind of life I lived. I’ve literally worked my ass off since I was a child, even when I was sick I had to work to pay for my education. I’ve worked since the day I can remember, I got the job and finally I was moving out because I had worked for it day and night and then that accident happened. I met Damon, I could’ve sat on my ass and could’ve let him pay my bills and there’s no doubt he would've done that for me. He loves me unconditionally, he’s a father figure I never had. He’s the first person I saw when I woke up from the coma and even when my head was killing me that time I could still hear his thoughts. He had no bad intentions and he gained my trust, he was there for me everyday watching my lifeless body and waiting for me to wake up. I saw that in the recordings and after waking up with no painkillers working on me, I didn’t give up on life. I did everything in my power to cure myself and I didn’t sit and refuse to work even in that condition. Yes my abilities were heightened and I used it to my advantage. Then I made you, I built a multi-million dollar company and of course Damon helped me and I repaid every penny he gave me. It was worth all the sleepless nights and hard work. Then a random man comes to me and calls me a spoiled brat. Can you believe that? This world is very triggering and painful in an insult I would never tolerate. I’m surprised I left him alive that day.”
Karl: “Your anger is justified.”
Amara: “Yeah, I know and just because he decided he wanted to talk to me that doesn’t mean I would obey him. I never do what people want me to do. I’m not a fucking people pleaser. I do what I want to do.”
Karl: “Let’s assume you both are having a conversation, what would you wanna say to him right then and there?”
Amara: “I didn’t think about it because I don’t want to. I just feel that conversation will be pointless and a waste of time because I’ve made up my mind to go back to New York.”
Karl: “And I know how difficult it is to change your mind.”
Amara: “You know me very well.”
Karl: “So you won’t be returning home anytime soon, will you?”
Amara: “I’ll go back at night. (the next morning)”
In Amara’s head: What the fuck? Whose hand is this? Rico’s hand? It can’t be Rico’s hand. Don’t scream, don’t scream. Did we? No, I have my clothes on. Thank God. What should I do? Where should I hide? In the bathroom, yeah, in the bathroom. (half an hour later in the bathroom)
Ryan: “She’s gone again. Hello? Luca, we have a meeting in ten minutes. Yeah, I’m heading to my office now. Okay.”
In Amara’s head: He’s gone.
Ryan: “Now this is what I call a good morning.”
In Amara’s head: Smart ass.
In Ryan’s head: I can’t believe she’s in front of me in nothing but a towel.
Ryan: “Don’t be so mad, love. I had to do it, you’re avoiding me like a plague.”
In Amara’s head: I wonder why.
Ryan: “We need to talk, love. Don’t you wanna talk to me? Come on, say something. Stop torturing me, your silence is killing me. Say something.”
Ryan’s Wolf: “This is not what she wants to hear.”
In Ryan’s head: Then what is it?
Ryan’s Wolf: “She’s upset 'cause you yelled at her the other day.”
In Ryan’s head: She yelled at me more than I did.
Ryan’s Wolf: “Whose fault is that? You better do everything to stop her from leaving.”
Ryan: “I know I shouldn’t have yelled at you the day. I didn’t mean any of the words I said that day. Please, say something.”
Amara: “What do you wanna talk about? I know what you wanna say, it was a mistake.”
Ryan: “It wasn’t. I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you.”
In Ryan’s head: Since the day I saw you, love.
Amara: “What?”
Ryan: “It wasn’t a mistake. I wanna clear things up, that’s why I wanted to talk.”
Amara: “You know what? It’s pointless. I’m going back to New York tomorrow so there’s no need to have this conversation. Whatever happened, just forget it.”
Ryan: “I can’t forget any of it and you’re not going anywhere.”
Amara: “What do you mean?”
Ryan: “You can’t go back, if you do then I’m gonna follow you.”
Amara: “So you would stalk me now?”
Ryan: “Well, if you leave me no choice then I definitely would.”
Amara: “You do what you want, Diavolo.”
Ryan: “I want you to stay. I don’t want you to leave.”
Amara: “You forget the fact that we were guests here. Damon is done giving you whatever you wanted. So we have to leave.”
Ryan: “You don’t have to.”
Amara: “Will you get to the point?”
Ryan: “You want me to say it more clearly? Fine. I won’t let you go, I can’t. I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you since the day I first saw you. I like you, you make me feel things I’ve never felt before. I wanna keep you here with me all of the time, when I don’t see you I feel like I can’t breathe. These past few days when you were avoiding me I missed everything about you, your smile, your voice, your gaze. You never left my mind. We have an undeniable connection and I wanna explore that connection.”
Amara: “I get it, you feel attracted to me. It’ll fade in time and I have many issues but Stockholm Syndrome is not one of them.”
Ryan: “I didn’t kidnap you, I kidnapped your brother.”
Amara: “That’s the same thing.”
Ryan: “So you’re saying you don’t feel anything for me? That kiss felt like anything but a lie. I know you felt it too, don’t deny it. Say you didn’t feel anything, that the kiss was meaningless and emotionless and I’ll leave.”
In Amara’s head: He took my hand and placed it on his chest. I can’t be thinking about lying at this moment. There’s no way I can be this coward, can I? But telling the truth won’t help me either. What the hell do I do now?
Ryan: “Say it and I’ll let you go. Your silence gave me my answer.”
Amara: “Yes, it wasn’t a meaningless kiss but you and I can’t happen so forget about it.”
Ryan: “Why? Give me one good reason.”
Amara: “I can give you many.”
Ryan: “Tell me.”
Amara: “Do you want the filtered or non filtered version?”
Ryan: “What?”
In Amara’s head: He looks angry, that’s good, maybe he’ll leave me alone after this.
Amara: “Do you want me to say everything without a filter?”
Ryan: “Go ahead, it can’t be that bad, right?”
Amara: “Fine, you asked for it. Reason number one, you’re a manwhore and you can’t keep it in your pants. You need a different woman every night and I’m not gonna be one of your one-night stands.”
Ryan’s Wolf: “How many times did I tell you to stop fucking around but you didn’t listen. You always said why? Would there be any consequences, I have no mate, remember? And all those excuses. Now the consequence is standing right in front of you. You lost her trust even before gaining it.”
Ryan: “Give me a chance to prove it.”
Amara: “You’re telling me you'd leave this habit of yours for me?”
Ryan: “Yes, give me a chance to prove that I’m serious.”
Amara: “Unbelievable. But you still can’t change my mind.”
Ryan: “Give me a chance and I’ll show you that I mean everything I just said right now.”
Amara: “Do you really wanna make a commitment?”
Ryan: “What?”
Amara: “Did the question catch you off guard? I wanna know what’s on your mind and what I’ll be getting myself into. I said I don’t fuck around and you said you were serious. How serious are you? If you can’t answer and my questions are too overwhelming for you, you can leave right now. That’s what I thought.”
Ryan: “I won’t leave and yes I’m ready for a commitment.”
Amara: “No you’re not. You’re only saying things without really thinking them through. You wanted a good reason, here’s a good reason. What if you want a baby in the future and I won’t be able to give you that?”
Ryan: “What?”
Amara: “That’s to slow of you. You know I had an accident. I had severe injuries in my lower abdomen too and my menstrual cycle isn’t normal so there’s a higher chance I can’t conceive and you’re someone who will need an heir eventually. So why would I get involved with you just to warm your bed and then get thrown away after you get bored?”
In Ryan’s head: The words she uttered numbed my mind and I was mystified by her bluntness. Then I realized the longer I take to answer the more she’ll assume things that aren’t true.
Ryan: “We’ll always have the option of adoption and if you’re thinking he wouldn’t be my blood and my people won’t accept him as their leader then let me tell you I'd make him my heir and people have to accept him as their leader whether they like it or not or else I’ll show them what happens when they disobey me.”
In Amara’s head: I wasn’t expecting this kind of answer from him and it’s not a lie, I had severe injuries but I also know my body defies any theories given by a doctor. I asked this question and expected him to just run away or lie. I was looking for a reason to turn him down and make him go away but he didn’t hesitate for a second, he didn’t lie, I could tell by his face. He meant everything he said. It was always easy for me to say no to any man because I wasn’t interested or felt anything but it’s impossible for me to deny the feelings he made me feel as he brought light and warmth to my dark and numb heart.
Amara: “I need time. I didn’t forget what you said the other day.”
Ryan: “What if I show you how sorry I am about whatever I said that day?”
Amara: “Then I’ll think about all the things you’ve said today.”
Ryan: “Take your time but tell me that you aren’t leaving to.”
Amara: “I’m…I’m not leaving.”
Ryan: “That’s what I wanted to hear.”
In Ryan’s head: Stop wagging your tail like a damn dog, Azrael.
Amara: “Okay.”
In Ryan’s head: I should be rewarded for staying focused even when she was in a town right in front of me. She loves to torture me for sure, God have mercy.
Ryan: “I should probably leave now and you better put some clothes on before leaving this room or else everybody in this house will have to go blind.”
In Amara’s head: Don’t you dare blush.