Promise Me Not

Mason

Now, November

“You have too much weight on your front foot.”

Alister scoffs, holding his stance as he fires off the ball, and all I can think is this is a huge waste of my time. I should be studying, getting my ass back on track so I have something to offer, yet here I am. Trying to teach a punk who refuses to learn.

Alister glances back with a smirk, but I shake my head, mimic his position, and send one. After that, I look him in the eye as I move through the motions a second time but with proper form.

“Back leg takes eighty percent of the weight. When I shift,” I begin, rotating my hips and pushing off the back leg, “the weight transfers to my front leg, opening up my hips and putting more power behind the ball.” I pull back, releasing using the breakdown I just gave, and his jaw clenches as he watches the ball fly, the radar set up on the ten-yard line not necessary to see the difference in power.

“Not everyone has to do things the way you do, asshole.”

“It’s not how I do things. It’s the right way or the wrong way.”

“Because you’re so damn perfect.”

Spinning, I glare at the dickhead. “You want to get better or not?”

“I’m only here because Coach said I had to be. I made this fucking team on my own, and I don’t need your help to stay on it.”

“No, what you need to do is figure out what it means to be on a team.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” He gets in my face.

I just shake my head at him. “You’re unaware, and you don’t fucking listen.”

“I’m unaware,” he deadpans, rearing back and shouting in my face. “I’m unaware? You have no fucking idea how rich that is coming from you!”

He shoves me with his chest, and I shove his ass right back.

“What’s your problem, man? You’ve been on my ass since day one, and I’m getting tired of it.”

“Serves you right after what you did!”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I shout. “I don’t even know you, and I didn’t get on your ass until after you got on mine.”

“Yeah, ’cause you’re so damn good. Perfect little playboy, huh? You’re just a punk fucking with vulnerable girls. Soon as that pretty thing with the baby sees you for who you really are, she’s gonna run so fucking fast⁠—”

I headbutt his ass, refusing to put my career in any more jeopardy, especially over this punk, and I’d be lying if I said the harsh crunch of his nose against my forehead wasn’t just as satisfying as a fist to his face would be.

His head snaps back, blood sprays, and he stumbles, but I keep at him, yanking him by the collar and dragging him to his feet.

“I warned you once. Do not talk, look, or even think about her!”

Alister spits blood in my face. “I’m going to tell her to take her kid and run as far as she can⁠—”

“That is my kid!” I scream.

Alister goes stone still, his eyes widening.

I’m shaking I’m so mad. “He is my son, and you will stay the fuck away from them both, or so help me, Howl, I will break your arms and then your legs, and then everything you’re trying to gain here goes out the window.”

“You’re an even bigger prick than I realized.” Alister swallows, tearing away from me with a tense expression that makes no sense to me. But then he jerks his chin. “Better run after your girl, Johnson. Seems something you said pissed her off.”

My brows pull, and I look to the left. Sure enough, Payton is whipping the stroller around, practically running back into the tunnels from the track.

“Payton!” I shout, breaking out into a run, but the door swings shut in my face. I heave through it, following her into one of the conference rooms. “Wait!”

She rushes to the back corner, fumbling with the knob, and I know this one locks from the other side.

“I went to see him!” The words fly from my mouth like a desperate plea.

It works.

She pauses, the knob in her hand, stroller half out the door.

Swallowing, I take slow steps forward and repeat, “I went to see him.” I watch as her shoulders tighten. “Spent some time at his grave.”

She whips around, tears thick but not yet falling.

“How dare you,” she breathes, a storm building in her blue eyes. She pulls the stroller back into the room, letting the door close as she advances on me, her voice low. “You had no right.”

“I did. I do,” I tell her, and her chin wobbles. “You haven’t been there, have you?” I ask softly. “I told you where he was laid to rest months ago, and you haven’t gone. Why?”

“You don’t know that,” she rasps, arms stiff at her sides.

“But I do.” Another step closer. “If you had, you would have left your mark, because that’s what you do, but there was nothing. Why haven’t you gone?”

“That’s none of your business,” she whispers.

“I think it is. I’m part of the reason, aren’t I?” I take another step toward her. “You feel guilty for wanting to be with me, and you know you can’t lie to him like you lie to yourself.”

“I am not lying to myself.”

“You’re torturing yourself.”

She swallows, hands fisting. “Why did you tell Alister that Deaton was your son?”

“Changing the subject doesn’t help us.”

Stubborn as ever, she raises her chin. “Answer me, Mason! Why did you tell him he was yours?”

“Because he is!” I scream back.

Payton shakes her head, spinning around and moving back toward the stroller. “I can’t do this. I thought I was ready to have this conversation, but I’m not.”

Before she reaches him, I dive forward, jumping in front of her and blocking her path.

“Please move.”

“I can’t. Not until you hear me out.”

“I don’t want to.”

“I don’t care.”

“Mason, please.”

“I understand the boy you lost is inside you,” I say hurriedly. “I understand he’s a part of you.”

“You don’t.” She squeezes her eye closed. “You can’t possibly.”

“I do, Payton. That little boy over there means more to me than anyone in the whole fucking world, and he is him. He is his dad, just like you said before. But he can be me, too.” I’m all but pleading now. “I want him to be, so what else can I do? Tell me, and I’ll do it. Anything. Everything. But you are pushing me away when you promised not to. Overnight, everything changed, and I don’t understand. Help me, please. Talk to me, because I’m at a loss here. I told you I’d wait. I want to wait. Five months, five years, I don’t care.”

“I do!” She throws her arms out. “I do, and I changed my mind. I don’t want you. Don’t you get it?” She swipes at her tears angrily, her glare heavy and pointed at me. “Have I not made that obvious enough yet?”

“No, you haven’t.” Her false bravado falls in a blink. “I know you. Better than anyone.”

She looks to the ceiling, trying not to cry. “No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.” I’m right in front of her now, and when her gaze moves back to mine, it’s laced with longing she won’t give in to. “Me and you?” I push on. “We were inevitable. This was meant to happen. Written in the fucking stars way back in time if you want to be cliché about it.”

“It couldn’t have been.” She denies my words, but hers hold little conviction. “I could lose you just the same, and then what?”

My brows snap together at that, those words not ones I’ve heard from her before now. “But we were, and you won’t.”

“You don’t know that. Anything can happen.”

My heart pounds in my chest, and I take a step closer. “As sad as that might make you, as hard as the reality might be, it’s the truth. I feel it in my bones. You and Little D were meant to be mine, and whether you give me you or not, I’m not going anywhere. Not ever.”

“Don’t say things you have no control over.”

Is that why she’s doing this? She’s afraid to lose me so she just let me go?

“Payton,” I whisper, hearing the ache in my own damn voice, but none of it’s for me. It’s for her and the desperation in her battered blues, her fear staring back at me. “I might not be able to dictate the world around us.” I swallow, trying to make her understand. “But I have control over my own actions, and while I might have lost sight of some of my goals lately, I’m figuring it out now, but you’re still priority number one. So hear me when I repeat myself. I am not going anywhere. I’m here either way, because I love that little boy with every part of me. Maybe more than I love you, and I do, Payton.” She buries her face in her hands, but I keep on. “I love you.” I reach for her. “I fucking love you, Pretty Little, but I don’t know what to do anymore. I want you. Hell, I’ll take a tiny piece if you’ll give it to me.”

“Stop.”

“I’m dead serious. I can’t compete with a ghost, so I won’t,” I promise. “He can keep your heart for all eternity. Just let me hold you for all of mine.”

Payton breaks into a sob but quickly turns it into a growl. She tears away from me with an angry shove that has me stumbling.

“Don’t you get it?” she screams, her hands burying themselves in her hair. “You’re not competing!” she wails, then collapses, forcing me to catch her just before her knees hit the ground.

Big blue eyes meet mine, and her palm presses to her stomach as if speaking the words is causing her physical pain.

“You’re not competing,” she seethes, tears rolling rapidly down her beautiful face. “There is no competition, Mason. There’s no competition, and that is the problem.”