Promise Me Not

Mason

Before, November

Rolling my shoulder forward three more times, I take a deep breath, thankful that such a thing is even possible. Injured ribs are no joke, not that this shoulder shit has been much easier.

I roll my shoulder backward, the tenth rep causing me to grind my teeth. At least I can lift my arm up and over my head now. We’ll just pretend there’s not a small strain when it’s near full extension. That and I’m sure my ribs are not yet back to 100 percent, but at last, I can breathe easy now. I can bend and twist, and that’s good enough for me. For now anyway.

It’s been a hell of a recovery period. Weeks of stress and fear and anxiety, of mental torture.

My eyes slide to the blond five feet away. She’s bouncing on an exercise ball in the corner, her eyes pointed at the TV, where reruns of Forensic Files are playing on a loop.

Weeks of me and her and no one else.

That familiar sense of rightness I’ve come to know when she’s near flows through me, a heavy weight following closely behind.

My time with her is almost up, and as much as I want to get back on the field, the thought of leaving her brings back the claws of panic, and that’s just at the thought. I have no idea what kind of games my mind will play once I actually go. I’ve become a bit dependent. Maybe it’s the twin in me. Maybe it’s her.

When she’s not in the same room, I seek her out.

When she’s asleep, I’m waiting for her to wake.

When she’s looking at me, I’m fucking mesmerized.

She’s more than I thought I’d ever find, and she’s not even mine.

I mean, in my mind, she is. She has to be. There’s just no other option, but that’s my mind, and while I like to think I have a damn good idea I know what’s going on inside hers, I can’t say that for certain. Even if she now looks at me in a way she didn’t before.

As if our minds are linked, her head turns my way, catching me staring. The soft smile she gives has my heart pounding. It’s pretty strange honestly, but it’s there, this incessant thud beneath my rib cage.

“You’re quiet today,” she murmurs, carefully climbing to her feet and walking over, her eyes trailing over my bruises, all now mostly faded into nothing. Her gaze moves back to mine. “What’s the matter?”

“The others will be here soon.”

Her lips curve higher. “Don’t sound so excited.”

“What if I said I’m not?” A small frown of confusion builds across her brow, so I add, “I don’t want you to go.”

Her smirk is playful. “Mason Johnson, are you saying you like me bossing you around?”

I push to my feet, and her head tips back to follow. “I’m saying I like you.”

She laughs. “I like you, too.”

My head is already shaking, my feet shuffling closer. “No, Pretty Little.” I run my knuckles along her jaw. “What if I asked you to stay the rest of the weekend? I’m moving up to my room tonight. You could stay with me in there like you’ve been staying in Cam’s room with me.”

Her cheeks pinken, and I need to get a grip, because the sight has my dick throbbing in my sweats. How can I, though, when I know where her curious little mind just went?

It’s right there, in the gloss of her gaze.

She’s thinking about how we’ve woken tangled in each other for the last several days, each morning more and more wrapped together, now that I can actually lie on my sides or flat on my back. Each of those mornings, my body knew exactly what it wanted, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. This wasn’t the standard morning wood; this was I want the girl in my arms with every fiber of my fucking being. Because, god damn it, I do, and I’m tired of telling myself I shouldn’t.

The first day, she practically sprinted into the bathroom, locking herself inside.

The second, she blushed like crazy but didn’t run.

But the third? The third she pressed back against me, a tiny gasp she doesn’t know I heard heating me from the inside out. Even now, my blood is running warm at the mere thought of it. It was the sweetest sound, and I’m dying to hear it again. And again. And sure, one could argue she didn’t mean to rub her ass over me, but I’m thinking she did. Even if subconsciously, she still did.

I won’t get the chance to hear that gasp again tomorrow, though, not with the others due to arrive today. So yeah, I already knew before asking my question what her answer would be, and her next words are only further proof that some part of us, be it big or small or steadily growing, is connected. We are connected.

“Parker’s been hounding me about coming home.” She tells me what I already knew.

Still, I argue. “He’s a half mile down the road.”

“Exactly.” She grins. “I’ll only be a half a mile down the road.” She holds that grin all the way through. “I’m sure you won’t miss me too much.” She says this but with a flicker in her eyes I don’t miss.

Sadness.

Dread.

You don’t want to go, do you, baby?

“You know if there is anything you need, anything that you want, anything at all, I’ll give it to you. You know this, right? That if I’m physically capable, it’s yours. You just”—I lick my lips, moving closer—“just ask. Or take. Or—” I break off, shaking my head.

“Mase?”

“I’m messing this up, aren’t I?” I step back, running my fingers though my hair. “I’m trying not to scare you, but I’m fucking dying here, Pretty Little.”

I wait for confusion to cross her face, but it never comes.

My eyes narrow, watching as she swallows, and fireworks light me up on the inside because hot damn. She knows.

She’s not confused.

She fucking knows what I’m feeling, and she’s still standing right here.

Fuck it.

I rush for her, her eyes widen…and a car door slamming in the driveaway serves as a shield between us, jolting me in its invisible trap.

My face falls, and hers points to the floor.

That’s it. My time is up.

The others are here.

I look to the garage door, considering waiting until they come in and track us down, but then I hear a soft laugh that has a smile crossing my lips regardless of the situation.

It only grows wider as I step from the garage into the house and over to the front door, Payton quietly following behind. I yank it open just in time to catch Noah saying “Best thing I ever did was miss that pass.”

I grimace at the sight of my sister in his arms, but I can’t help but grin.

“And here I was thinking the best thing you ever did was toss me on the bed and⁠—”

Okay, yeah. No.

“Don’t finish that sentence.” I cut her off, but my tone is playful if anything.

Ari whips her head around, hitting me with a bright smile. She kicks so Noah will set her down, and she’s rushing for me in the same breath.

I don’t have time to brace, groaning when she slams into my chest for a full-ass hug.

“Shit. Sorry!” She jumps back quickly.

“It’s fine. Come here.” I pull her into my arms and hug her tight. And because she’s Ari, her sniffles follow soon after. “I’m okay, baby sister,” I whisper. “Promise.”

“Yeah?”

I nod. “I was fucked up for a couple of weeks, but I’m good now.”

“Thank god for that.”

My girl lays on the sass, and I glance back to find her leaning against the frame all fucking adorable like. I almost go to her, but Ari beats me to it.

“Oh my god,” my sister murmurs. “Look at you.”

The two hug, and Payton meets my eyes over Ari’s shoulder, playfully rolling hers. “Go ahead. Feel me up.”

Ari doesn’t hesitate, instantly running her hands along her belly, and the sight shifts some pieces inside me, yet another clicking into place.

My sister looks so honored, a giddy, loving eagerness bright in her brown eyes. She can’t wait for there to be a baby in our mix, something she’s dreamed of since we were way too young to even want such things, but that didn’t stop her from planning for it. She begged our parents to have another one for years, and as soon as we hit junior year of high school, she started talking about how she couldn’t wait until one of us had a baby of our own.

Of course we tried to take bets on who would be first, but everyone picked Brady, so the bet never took.

None of us expected a broken blond to join our mix.

Least of all me.

No one is happier than I am that she showed up.

The girls I’ve met on campus this semester, they meant nothing, and going back, I know I won’t even be able to entertain the noise. Not now.

Not after the last few weeks.

Last few months?

When is the last time I hooked up with someone? A couple weeks into the semester, maybe? A dumb drunken night that I hardly remember.

I remember every moment I’ve ever had with Payton, and I haven’t even kissed the girl yet.

I’m fucking going to.

The girls are still talking, but I’ve managed to tune them out, moving to Noah with an outstretched hand. “Riley.” I lift a dark brow. “Looks like my sister’s still in one piece. This shit serious now or what?”

“It’s whatever she wants it to be.”

“Good fucking answer, my man.” I chuckle, turning to Payton. “Payton, Noah. Noah, Payton.”

Noah smiles, giving a little wave. “Hi, Payton.”

A teeny tiny pink hue begins to creep up her neck, and I narrow my eyes, taking a half step before I realize it, as if to block his Prince Charming–looking ass from her view, but her eyes are already on him.

“Hey,” she says in greeting.

“Okay, intros are over.” I frown. “Inside. It’s getting cold as fuck out here.” I turn, raising a brow at her as I pass her on my way into the house.

I swear she thinks it’s funny, and I’m right when she teases, “Ari, did you know your brother is the bossiest person on the planet?”

Her words are purely for my benefit. Kind of like that part, though.

“Yeah, you get used to it.” My sister sighs dramatically, and I pretend to groan, flipping her off over my head.

My boys come in, both giving me that unsure, pitying look, but when I only grin, they wipe it away in an instant, coming in for a hug.

“Good to see you, my boy.” Brady slaps my good shoulder. “This motherfucker won’t shut up about you at practice.” He pretends to complain about Chase, but we all know it’s his way of letting me know they’ve had my back. As if I had any doubt.

“Oh yeah?” I grin at Chase. “Miss me, fucker?”

“Nah, just wanted to make sure the other dude trying to show off didn’t forget he was nothing but a stand-in.”

“My man.”

Chase smirks, moving over to say hi to Payton.

I watch as she beams up at him, laughing as he whispers something in her ear. Brady catches my eye, a brow raised, and I wink at the fucker.

“Whoa, whoa—” he starts, jumping out to grip my arm, fully intent on grilling me over what his perceptive ass is picking up on, but I dodge him, quickly whirling around the island.

I kiss Cameron’s temple, and she kisses the air in return, already digging into the fridge for something sweet, and I take a moment to look across my friends, all doting on the pregnant girl who’s glowing from the inside out.

I can’t help the images that flash across my mind of all of us in the future, in this same spot, plus a little blond-haired boy running around.

He’d run up to me and⁠—

A harsh exhale I’d recognize in a room of a hundred catches my attention, my head snapping to the right.

Payton is slowly climbing to her feet, but she only just sat down. Worry slices through me when her hand shoots to her back, the other pushing out to grip the table, and I’m already moving.

Snagging the water she set down, I quickly drag the larger chair with the doubled-up cushions we fixed up for her a few days ago closer.

“I’m fine,” she whispers, looking up at me.

Don’t lie to me, my scowl screams, and she responds in kind, her little glare replying with I’m not. I don’t mean to smile, but it grows wider when a low chuckle leaves her. She shakes her head and settles once more.

Fine or not, I stay beside her regardless, and I plan to all damn day.

Because the gang’s all here now, and that means soon…she won’t be.

Unfortunately, soon comes too quick, and before I know it, I’m lying alone in my bed, staring at the dark ceiling. No matter what I do, I can’t get comfortable. The bed feels too big, too…empty.

Jesus, I turned into a sap.

I smirk to myself.

I think I’m okay with that.

I wonder if she’s asleep. I look toward the clock, finding it’s a little after eleven.

Is she lying restless like me? Wishing she’d stayed instead of going back?

Lifting my phone off my chest, I sigh, scrolling through social media, something I haven’t done all week. It’s just as boring now as it was then, and I toss it back down, flipping onto my stomach. Forcing my eyes closed, I begin to count down from a hundred. I make it all the way to fifteen when my phone pings.

I jerk up, looking at the screen to find it’s from Payton.

Sitting up, I pull up the message.

My Pretty Little: Mase?

I hit the Call button instantly, my pulse jumping faster by the second, because somehow I just know something is wrong.

She answers on the second ring, a soft sniffle tearing into me, and I fly to my feet.

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m scared,” she whispers.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

Another sniffle, and then a shaky “I think the baby is coming.”

I’m already shoving into my shoes and running out of my room.

“I…I need you, Mase,” she cries, the sound so fucking soft.

And there it is.

She fucking needs me.

“I’m on my way.” I run down the stairs, screaming, “Payton’s in labor, and she’s scared!”

Just like that, doors open, footsteps pound, and the whole gang is out the door.

By the time we’re seated and pulling from the driveway, Ari has Kenra on the phone. Turns out I’m the only person Payton told, even though she was in a room just down the hall from her brother when her water broke.

I’m gonna analyze the hell out of that later, but calling them ahead of time was the right thing to do to get us moving. They are running out the door and jumping into Parker’s car as we pull to the curb, but not Payton.

She hesitates, her eyes snapping over and finding mine as I hop from the Tahoe, ditching the driver seat and ready to climb in the back seat with her. It seems she was waiting or expecting that, too, as she didn’t dare climb in until I was at her side, my intention clear. Ignoring the frowns from my cousin and her man, I press my body right against hers, our hands clinging together instantly. I don’t know who gets behind the wheel of my Tahoe, and I don’t care.

My focus is on the girl gripping me for dear life, a nervous expression on her pretty face. She doesn’t say a word the entire drive, just clenches her eyes and my fist.

As we pull through the hospital roundabout, Parker and Kenra jump out instantly, and as swiftly as possible, I dart between the seats, stretching out and hitting the lock button on the doors.

As my ass falls back in the seat, I look out in time to see Parker jogging through the double doors, probably to get help or something, but Kenra steps over, tugging on the handle of our door.

“What the hell?” She knocks, cupping her hands and pressing her face to the window to try and see through the tint.

I turn to Payton, take her face in my hands, and tip it toward me.

Her hands come up, wrapping around my wrists, fear written across her face.

“I can’t do this,” she finally cries.

“Listen to me, Payton Baylor,” I whisper, holding her gaze. “You’ve gone through hell for years, but you fought through it, and in that hell, you found a bit of peace to hold on to in a boy who meant the world to you. And then you lost him.” Her lower lip trembles, and I clutch her tighter. “But you’re still here, Pretty Little. Pushing and fighting and growing even stronger than before. I know you’re afraid, but you’re also brave. Braver than me, no doubt, and I need you to know, even if you were all by yourself, the ten of us here nowhere to be found, you could do this.”

She shakes her head, but I push on.

“You can. You’re the strongest person I know, and you’ve fucking got this. And if for some reason you need a little help, I’m right here. Hold on to me. Yell or scream or claw at me, tear me a-fucking-part if it helps, and know that I’ll still be right here, no matter what. You amaze me, gorgeous girl. You’ve got me in every sense of the word.” I press my forehead to hers, our gazes still locked. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Big blues blink up at me, a tenderness taking over her tense features.

“Promise,” she whispers. “Promise me, Mason. No matter what. Promise me.”

A shudder runs through me, my eyes burning as I stare intently into hers. “I promise, Pretty Little.”

She stares a moment longer, and then a small smile breaks her lips, a choked laugh escaping. “Oh my god, I’m about to have a baby.”

A laugh breaks from my lips, and I look up over my shoulder to see Parker now back with a wheelchair, the others rushing down the path from where they had to park.

I face the angel at my side with a smirk. “Yeah, you are. So what do you say? You ready to meet your little man?”

She licks her lips with a nod, smiling wildly now. “I’m ready.”

I open the car door, and in the hospital we go.

I’m really fucking glad I gave Payton that pep talk before we stepped into the hospital, because apparently her water breaking at home was just the beginning. I mean, I knew that, but it wasn’t until we got up in the room, the monitors all hooked up and the doctor coming in for the second time, that shit got real.

Parker stepped out, glaring at me when all I did was move back a few feet, but that was only for his benefit. The doc told him to wait outside, and I’m not sure why the woman didn’t tell me to go, too, but she didn’t. The only reason I moved at all is because Payton gave me a small nod.

Maybe because she didn’t want to hurt her brother’s feelings, or maybe it was because the doctor threw Payton’s gown up to her waist like she was simply looking under the hood of a car, but either way, I slipped out.

Of course, the second Parker and the others turned around and a nurse came out the double doors blocking her from me, I snuck through them before they could close. I went right back to her bedside, ignoring the looks Kenra was shooting me from Payton’s opposite side. I was so fast, only out maybe a solid minute, that the doc hadn’t even had time to stand from her little rolling chair.

I don’t know what it was they put in Payton’s IV, but it’s been only five minutes now, and the whole-ass game has changed. Payton’s contractions have finally started, and according to the nurse with her head between her legs right now, she’s moving at an accelerated rate.

It’s absolute fucking torture.

She’s crying, gripping the bars on the side of the bed, and writhing in agony, tears fogging her ocean eyes. She can hardly sit still, and I’m as useful to her right now as a condom would be.

But I don’t move from my spot at her side. I wouldn’t dare.

Not when every few minutes, she lifts her pretty head to look at me, as if to make sure I’m still there.

I swallow, moving with the nurse toward the door, and whisper, “How much longer?”

She smiles brightly as she pulls her gloves off and tosses them in a red bin. “Any time now, hon. Just keep doing what you’re doing, and you’ll get to meet your little one soon.”

“Mase.”

I whip around to find her hand outstretched and hurry back.

I press my palm to hers, and it’s she who links her fingers around my own. Her eyes close, and I look over at Kenra.

She’s got her lips pursed, but I shake my head, bending to rub my free hand over Payton’s forehead, blowing cool breaths along the sweat beads building there.

“It hurts,” she cries, squeezing me tighter.

“I know. I know it does, but you’re doing so good.”

She starts to scream, her entire body coiling and shoulders caving in. She pants, gasps, and thrashes against her pillow. “I need to… I don’t know. I think…”

The nurse runs back in, lifts Payton’s gown, and I wait for her to panic or scream for help.

The crazy woman in lime-green scrubs smiles at us and says, “It’s time.”

We all freeze. I look from Payton to Kenra to Payton.

Payton’s eyes are wide, her lips trembling as she looks from my cousin back to me.

They both look at me as if I’ve got all the answers, but I don’t have shit. I’m fucking terrified here. “Should I get Parker?” I take a guess, thankful when she nods eagerly.

“Please.” She gives one more squeeze before releasing me. “I want him here, too.”

I’m already moving toward the door when she shouts. “Wait!”

The panic in her tone wraps around my shoulders. I jerk around again, ready to run right back. Hell, I’ll do circles right here in this little room if she wants me to.

“You promised,” she rasps, fear glittering in her gaze.

There’s a heavy knock in my chest, and I nod. “I’ll be right back, Pretty Little. Right back.”

She drops her head to the pillow, nodding as she squeezes her eyes closed, and I book it down the hall, pressing the button on the automatic doors, but there’s no time to run into the waiting room, so I shout from the other side. “Baby’s coming!” I clap, but I don’t wait around to be sure Parker heard, spinning on my heels and jogging back toward room 227.

Parker’s right behind me, and he moves for her right side, but that’s my side and I hold still, so he goes to stand behind Kenra, reaching past her to gently brush Payton’s arm.

She looks to each of us, then back at the doctor, nodding as the doc explains what happens next.

And honestly, I’m shitting my pants right now.

Her legs are up, feet locked in these scary-ass metal things reminding me of those contraptions Forrest Gump had on his legs when he was a kid, and there’s an operating tray set out with all sorts of shit like a horror movie prop setup.

Yeah, I’m freaking out, and I’m guessing it’s obvious seeing as nurse number two steps up beside me and whispers for me to breathe.

So I listen, dragging in a long shaky breath as I look back to Payton.

“Okay, Payton, I’m going to count back to one, and on one, you’re going to push for a full count of three, okay?”

“I don’t know,” she whines, squeezing her eyes closed.

The doctor looks up at me, an expectant expression on her face, and my eyes widen because what the hell, man? What am I supposed to do? I don’t know shit about shit and⁠—

Payton starts to cry, and panic bubbles into my throat.

Spinning, I face her, grip her hand, and squeeze. “Hey, Pretty Little, look at me.”

She does, tears slipping down her cheeks.

“Little man is ready to meet you.” I nod, catching the doc’s eyes a moment, quickly refocusing on Payton. “And I know how much you’ve been waiting to meet him, too, so what do you say, hmm? We ready to do this?”

Her lips press tight, those big blue eyes locked on mine, so fucking trusting and afraid at the same time, it shreds me to the bone.

I move her hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear the way she likes to do. “I’ll be right here the whole time.”

Slowly she nods, and together, we look to the doc.

“Okay.” The doc hunches down slightly. “In three, two, one…”

Payton groans, her teeth clacking as she shouts through them, her body curling up into an impossible crunch. Her face starts to turn two shades too red, and Parker and I lock eyes, fear and uncertainty burning like lava in my veins.

“Good,” the doc praises, and Payton falls back against the bed, panting. “A few more like that. Deep breath. The next contraction is already coming. Get ready in three, two, one…”

“Ahh!” Payton shouts, clenching again, her hand shaking, nails digging into my skin.

My jaw is locked, and I’m fucking sweating.

Payton settles again, her breathing all over the place, and those teary eyes find mine once more.

“You’re going so damn good,” I rasp.

“I can see the head,” the doc announces.

“She can see the head.”

“Two more and you get to meet your baby.”

“Two more and⁠—”

The doctor snickers, and I clamp my mouth closed, gaze snapping around the room.

Even Parker is smirking, his gaze narrowed, though he quickly points it back to his sister. “You’re so close, Peep. Come on.”

“And three, two, one…”

Payton pushes, her shoulders trembling and legs shaking with the force.

“The head is out. Another push.”

“I can’t!” Payton cries.

“Come on, Payton,” the doctor encourages calmly. “One more.”

Payton shakes her head, dropping it back and shouting into the room as her body locks tight.

I lean over, pressing my forehead to hers, and our eyes meet.

“Payton, you need to push.” The doctor is a little more urgent this time.

Payton’s lip trembles as she stares at me, her head moving back and forth.

“Yes, baby,” I breathe. “You can do this. Come on, Pretty Little. You’re so close. Show me how strong you are. How fucking brave.” My lips slide across her cheek, and she cries harder. “You can do this. Let’s go.”

Slowly, she nods and starts to push. Her features pull tight, the cries of a warrior slipping from her lips, sweat rolling from her forehead and mixing with mine, but I don’t dare move. I hold her eyes, and with our gazes tied, pulses pounding dangerously fast, we hear it.

The softest, craziest fucking sound I’ve ever witnessed.

A little broken cry.

Awe. Complete and total awe, that’s the expression that blankets her face.

Her entire body goes limp, tears streaming down her face at an unstoppable rate.

Slowly and with a bit of fear I didn’t expect, I face the doctor, vaguely aware of Parker and Kenra telling Payton how proud they are and how good she did.

My eyes lift, locking onto a little head, full of thick dark hair. Even covered in…whatever that is, it looks curly and perfect, and I swear to god, my heart, it jumps in my chest. Jumps, skips, and then shifts.

A hole opens up inside me, the teeny tiny little thing the doctor holds up slipping inside and filling it right back up.

My vision blurs, my body frozen in place.

Parker says something, walks by, and the nurse steps up, but I can’t hear her.

All I hear is him.

It is a boy. A little baby boy.

It’s like time doesn’t exist and the world stopped spinning, and all that’s left is him…and her.

Slowly, I turn, and as if sensing I was coming, her eyes move to meet mine in the same instant.

She smiles, and I hate the weight within it, but there’s so much joy there, too.

“You were right,” she whispers, blinking heavily. “It’s a boy.”

I’m not aware I’ve moved until her face is in my hands, my lips coming down on hers with such intensity my entire body vibrates. “Congratulations, Pretty Little,” I whisper against her. “You’re a mama now.”

“I’m a mom now,” she breathes, a slight tremble in her smile.

I push the hair from her face, and her eyes close, exhaustion setting in. Not a moment later, the nurse nudges my arms with her own.

“Come.” She dips her chin, so I spin, stepping beside the tiny little table they’ve laid the little guy out on. The doctor is talking to Payton, and I try to focus on what the nurse is saying, but I can’t.

“Why is he crying?” I ask, my hands lifting to touch him, but fear tethers around my muscles, holding me back. “Don’t cry, little man.” I swallow beyond the knot forming in my throat. “Your mama’s waiting to meet you, and you’re gonna scare her,” I whisper.

Suddenly, his wails soften, and my pulse hammers in my chest when he starts to blink. Just like that, his little eyes open, and all the air whooshes from my lungs.

“He’s…perfect,” I rasp, then notice the scissors held out before my hands.

My eyes snap to the nurse, and she smiles, pushing them into my palm. “Cut right here, daddy.”

My knees shake, white flashing behind my eyes. This is…

I don’t have words for what’s happening inside me right now, but it’s big, life-fucking-changing, and when I open my eyes, looking into his, everything inside me shifts. It rearranges, twisting, turning, and tightening. It clicks into place.

My lungs open up, and the air tastes different.

Daddy.

My vision blurs, and I reach up, running a shaky hand over his perfect little cheek.

Oh my god.

I…I want to be his daddy.