Professor Astor (Off-Limits)

Two Years Later

“You look breathtaking,” I tell Amara as I straighten the train of her wedding dress. Since the wedding is in a large garden that Amara’s grandfather had transformed for her, keeping her dress clean has been a struggle.

I’ve felt emotional all day, tears gathering in my eyes every few minutes. Not many people know how hard Noah and Amara have had to fight for their happiness. They look perfect together, but their tale was filled with heartbreak before they made it down the aisle.

I glance at Dr. Noah Grant, our campus doctor. His eyes are on Amara, as they always are, and I smile to myself. Thank God I wasn’t available the day that Amara got one of the sex toys she invented stuck in herself. Had I been there to help her, she might never have met Noah.

I shake my head. No, there’s no way those two would’ve stayed apart. I’m convinced fate would’ve found a way to bring them together, regardless. Their love is truly out of this world. Watching them together makes me wish I could someday have this too.

“You really do look stunning,” Noah’s sister tells Amara, and I nod in agreement. “My brother can barely keep his eyes off you,” she adds.

I grin to myself. Aria’s husband, Grayson, can’t keep his eyes off Aria either. I’m surrounded by love today. True love. The kind that only comes around once in a lifetime.

For a moment, I think of Thor. Two years, and I still think of him often. I still dream of him. When my thoughts wander, they turn to him. I suppose that just shows how pathetic I am. It was a one-night-stand, yet I can’t forget him. That’s the closest connection I’ve ever felt, and I doubt he even remembers me.

I swallow hard and inhale shakily. It isn’t even like I haven’t dated since then, but no one could compare to him.

I’m startled out of my thoughts when Amara gasps and rushes forward, messing up the train of her dress all over again. I smile and shake my head, not even slightly annoyed about it. I turn toward her, my heart dropping when a man lifts her into his arms and twirls her around. Those blue eyes, that smile… he still looks the same.

“Adrian!” Amara yells. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

He puts her down, and Amara grabs his arm to lead him to Noah, who is already walking toward her, a jealous expression on his face.

“Noah,” she says, “Meet my cousin, Adrian. He’s a mathematics professor, and he’ll be working at Astor college. You two are going to love each other.”

Adrian.

Adrian Astor.

I suppose the name Thor was based on his surname. The man I’ve been hung up on is my best friend’s older cousin. The one she’s told me about before. The one who’s been married to his college girlfriend for years now. The elusive billionaire cousin that specialised in robotics, just like she did. The one that inspired Amara’s career path, the one she’s always looked up to. The cousin who lives in London and has two kids. Twins. A boy and a girl.

He freezes when he sees me, his eyes widening. Noah shakes his hand, but his attention is on me.

It’s been two years, but all of a sudden, the pain feels fresh. My heart squeezes painfully and I inhale shakily, trying to calm my racing heart. I wasn’t just a one-night-stand. I was an affair while his wife was at home with the two kids he pretended to have with me.

I turn around and walk away, needing a moment to compose myself. For so long, I’ve wondered what it might be like to run into him again someday. For a little while, I deluded myself into believing that fate would bring us back together. I was convinced that what we had was so special that the Gods would make our paths cross when the time was right. I must’ve been crazy.

I was stuck on the memory of who I thought he was when I never even truly knew him. The worst part is that I realized it, but I kept allowing myself to live in a fantasy of my own making. I rush toward a quiet part of the garden the wedding is being held in, needing some space. A deep ache settles in my stomach as my heart constricts, my breathing becoming labored. I’m on the verge of having a full-blown panic attack or bursting into hysterical tears. If my lungs could support both actions, I’m quite certain I’d be doing both.

“Ley!”

I tense at the sound of his voice, hating the way it sends a shiver through me. I force myself to pull it together, to smile through the pain like I’ve done so many times before. I’ve never struggled to keep up pretenses, but tonight I worry the cracks in my carefully constructed mask will make my whole facade fall apart.

I swallow hard and force a smile onto my face before turning toward him. Seeing him feels like being punched in the stomach. He’s every bit as handsome as he was that night. More so, in the tuxedo he’s wearing. His deep blue eyes meet mine, his gaze pleading.

“Ley,” he repeats, his voice soft. He looks at me the same way he did that night, and some of the guilt I carry falls away. I didn’t imagine this. I didn’t warp my memories of him to make them better than they were. He truly is looking at me like I’m all he can see. There’s real emotion in his eyes, just like there was that night. How does he do that? How does he fool me with such ease, and how many women have come before me, after me? How many times has he cheated on his wife?

“Adrian, is it?” I ask, grateful for the polite tone of my voice. Somehow, I manage to sound unaffected, and he tenses, his gaze roaming over my face, almost as though he’s searching for something.

“Ley. I—” he runs a hand through his hair, a tortured expression on his face, and I can’t help but wonder why he’s the one that looks pained when it’s my heart that’s breaking. I suppose it’s because he’s worried I’ll talk and expose what he did. I doubt he ever expected to run into me again.

I stare at him, refusing to give him an easy way out. I’m many things, but I’m not immoral. I’m not a home wrecker. I’m not the other woman.

“You what?” I ask, forcing him to finish his sentence.

“I… I’m happy to see you again. How have you been?”

How have I been? Is he joking?

“How are you? How are your wife and kids?”

He flinches, and I grit my teeth. I want to ask him if his wife knows he goes around fucking other women when he’s overseas. I want to know if he thought of me at all once he got back home to her. Am I just one woman out of many?

I look away, a thought occurring to me. His wife might be here. It’s Amara’s wedding, and he’s her first cousin. The kids that stood behind him earlier looked like him, so it’s reasonable to assume his wife is here too.

“It isn’t… it isn’t like that, Ley. I’m divorced.”

I look up, startled. “Were you divorced when you slept with me?”

Thor tenses, the guilty look in his eyes betraying him. “Let me explain,” he pleads. “It isn’t what you think.”

I inhale sharply, the pain in my chest making me lightheaded for a moment. As I look at him, I can feel my heart physically aching. I suppose that’s why they call it heartbreak. The feeling goes straight from my heart right down to my stomach, a sense of hopelessness taking me captive.

“This isn’t the time or place for it, Thor. Today is my best friend’s wedding day, and that’s all I want to focus on. Besides, it was just a one-night-stand. It doesn’t matter.”

I turn and walk away from the man that used to be part of my favorite memories. Within seconds, the same memories I treasured turned into a source of endless pain, and I only have myself to thank for it.

I take one lingering look at him and turn to walk away. The moment I realized he gave me the wrong number, I should’ve known. I should’ve forgotten about him right there and then. I should’ve forced him out of my thoughts.

That’s the most painful part of regret. It’s a hurt of its own. It festers, turning all it touches into ashes.