Princess of Faerl

*Aranelda*

It’s cold and dark. It’s been this way for a long time. No light, no warmth. Just darkness and pain. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. They keep calling me names, saying I’m the son of a whore, pieces of shit that not even the slut wanted to claim. A worthless being that’s only useful when Hades is angry so he doesn’t whip the others. Persephone tried to save me once. That ended tragically. Hades didn’t want to kill me and I didn’t want to give him a reason to, so the next couple times she tried, I didn’t use the items to escape. I simply buried them next to a large rock. Maybe someday I could leave here. All I could feel was despair. The imaginary friends from my youth were still with me, but they didn’t speak much and I couldn’t see their mythical forms any more. I was too depressed for them to come around me. I had taken to carving my story on the wall, maybe someday someone would read it. Probably long after my death. I started from my first memory.

*Thirteen years ago*

I was five years old. A woman they called Lyssandra took me away from the orphanage, claiming she changed her mind and wanted her son back. I thought she loved me, she was my mother. I ran to her, delighting in her hug. Little did I know it was all an act. As soon as I was in the car her warm smile turned to disgust. She made a phone call talking to some woman. She called me ‘the bitch’s son’ letting the other woman know I was alive.

I didn’t understand what was being said. I was only five. “Mommy, where are we going?” my innocent curiosity showing. She snapped at me, warning me never to call her mommy again. She told me she hated me and my mother. She couldn’t care less about me. My tiny fists clenched and my heart broke. I started wailing uncontrollably. The devilish woman smiled and told me the only thing she ever agreed with my mother on was that I wasn’t worth the life I was given. A useless excuse for a human. She had forgotten the phone call until the other woman snapped at her for wasting valuable time squabbling with me. I was being taken to someone named Hades, apparently.

“Aphrodite, don’t get your panties in a twist, we’ll be there no issue. Just wish this whore’s brat would shut the fuck up and quit wailing. So pathetic.” I etched every name into my tiny heart. The threat of losing my life made me hiccup and try to calm my tears. I didn’t want to die.

We went to an abandoned warehouse and she dragged me inside by my hair. She called for Aphrodite and Hades. When they appeared she tugged my hair, dropping me at the man’s feet. “Here’s the whiney ass brat.” she declared. “I’m glad not to have to deal with him any longer. He really can’t shut the fuck up.” The beautiful man looked at Lyssandra disdainfully.

“Well done, well done.” The woman clapped, slowly. Her eyes held only disgust. “We have the beast, now you go tame the bitch. Bend that little girl to our side. We can’t let Selene have her way, can we?” Her voice made my stomach churn.

The man rolled his eyes, “Why do you care so much? Are you that full of yourself that you want your grandfather to lust after you and fuck you senseless?” I was too young to understand the conversation but I didn’t feel good about this. Not one bit. I turned and tried to run as fast as my legs would carry me. I was terrified of them. Before I could tell what was happening, I was floating backwards into Hade’s arms.

“Just keep your end of the deal and don’t worry about who else I fuck. I mean, really, are you jealous?” She plastered a fake sweet smile on her face.

‘That woman is vile.’ The voice in my head I had named Lucius agreed with me. I took comfort in the fact he was still there. Sometimes they would disappear. I didn’t feel so alone any more. ’Before they try to separate us,” Lucius spoke hurriedly, “You are not unwanted. Your name is Aranelda Tirisil, a prince and in possession of four beast souls. You have a twin sister. She will find you someday. Hold onto that till then. Don’t let us die.” He went quiet and I was terrified. They never spoke like that before.

“Am I going to die?” I whispered to myself. I felt like crying again. The man that held me hugged me close, almost like a father would. Like the father I wanted so badly, “No, young man. You are my new child. Haven’t you always wanted a family?” His voice was gentle and convincing, unlike when talking to the women. The four friends of mine were all trying to tell me not to buy in, not to believe him. My little body betrayed them. I snuggled into the man, burying my face in his shoulder. “Now ladies, I leave you to whatever deal you worked out between yourselves. I have no further part in any of your dealings.” He carried me away towards a door.

“Just make sure Helios never finds his life chain. Aphrodite yelled after us. Hades smirked to himself. I saw a hint of evil in the smile but convinced myself he just didn’t like them.

“You just worry about him not finding you two.” Hades called back to her. A string of expletives left the woman, but we didn’t hear all of them. We walked through the door and were in a different place. A castle with dark stones carved into what looked like an underground mountain towered before us. I looked around, visibly distraught.

“Is Helios a bad man?” I asked my new guardian. His smile was now filled with warmth.

“Worry not, little man. You’re with me now. No one will try and hurt the son of the God of Death.” His eyes were dark as obsidian as we walked into the daunting castle. “Welcome home. Your new name is Doulos.” It sounded nice but I had no idea he was starting to condition me to be a slave. He spent four years trying to convince me he loved me and I was precious to him, his son. But I saw the snickers of the servants. The disdain in their eyes. The voices in my head kept calling me Aranelda, pleading for me to never forget my true name. Sometimes I would hear a small voice singing.

“Good morning Starlight,

The sun is shining bright,

Another day to laugh and play,

Until the rise of moonlight.”

The small voice felt warm and friendly, as if I should know the owner. Other times the voice sounded grown and would cry at the close of the song. The grown voice wept for me as if I were dead. The small voice was full of longing, wanting a friend. I started to sing the song to myself whenever I needed to feel connected to someone.

Those first four years we celebrated my birthday every year. By my ninth birthday, Hades had won me over and I truly acted like I was his and Persephone’s son. I let myself be happy as Doulos even though the voices told me not to. They had begun to stop arguing with me over the previous six months. They were barely whispers at this point. They tried to warn me telling me he named me slave. Of course, I didn’t know they were right. I didn’t know Greek. Hades made sure I never learned it. But that day marked a turning point. The servants slowly stopped fulfilling my requests over the months. Hades stopped letting me follow him as I was used to. Towards the end of the year he told me I was going to be a man soon and should call him by his name or call him sir, Persephone would be ma’am. He was placing distance between us and my heart was breaking all over again. He wasn’t allowing Persephone to spend time with me any more once my tenth birthday was two months away. She never called me Doulos. She called me ‘sweet boy’ or ‘good child’. I never asked why. She didn’t seem to love Hades either. She seemed like she was trapped when I truly paid attention. I never asked her why she didn’t call me Doulos. It never occurred to me to ask.

In the middle of the early, dark hours of my tenth birthday, Persephone came to me. She had tears in her eyes and she kept apologizing to me. Her eyes were swollen and red. She had been crying. I looked at her as a child would their mother they adore. My hand, wiping the tears from her cheeks. I was terribly confused. She pushed a pearl into my hand, telling me that once she had left me, I needed to place it on the ground and step on it, smashing it. As I did so I needed to think of something that made me happy. If I did this, I had a chance to save my life. If I did this, I wouldn’t truly become a doulos. A slave. My heart broke when she admitted what doulos meant. The voices were right the whole time. She ran from the room and I did as she instructed.