Primitive Instinct: The Journey Home

Being on the move in a very large caravan was like pulling teeth. It took ages for everyone to be packed and ready to go and it felt like you barely went anywhere by the time you stopped for the night.

Ivy and the babies were doing amazing after a week, and they moved to their own sled to make Osh’ri’ca relax. I swear, he was fine with his wife and children being in our sled, but the guy was working on an ulcer, he kept obsessing over them every half hour. To save all of us the trouble and anxiety, Ivy rolled her eyes and went to their sled.

That didn’t mean that I wasn’t holding one of the kits at any given point during the days that followed, because I was. Even the fiercely protective Mapok knew that it took a village to raise children and Ivy was the most comfortable with me, which, to her husband, meant that I was the only one he trusted with his recovering wife and children.

“Via, you’ve gotten bigger,” I cooed as I took the little girl and put her over my shoulder to burp after eating next to her brother.

Via and Alkan were two very different personalities that have blossomed vastly in the eight weeks since they were born. Via was the quieter one, but she was bossy while Alkan just let his sister do what she wanted until he could get away from her.

“They’ll be even bigger the next time you see them,” Ivy smiled as she held her son, who was happily nursing now that Via was done and out of his way. “I can’t believe we’re going to be splitting apart already.”

“The sun cycle will pass like a dream,” I told her as Via burped and then cooed. “I’ll see you again before you even know it.”

“Hopefully before the snow cycle migration,” she smiled and looked to where Roar was busy putting up our tent nearby. “He’s insisting I be the one the brings your kits into the world.”

“I wouldn’t have it any differently,” I told her and lifted Via to put our noses together, making her kick her feet and coo loudly. “But it will be some time before then, still. We’re wanting to be ready for them and that means having an actual home for them to be born in.”

“When it does happen, I know you both are going to be great parents,” she said when Alkan fussed about not being burped as soon as he was finished.

“Just not two at once,” I widened my eyes, and she laughed as we switched babies so I could burp Alkan and she could clean up Via’s wet bottom cloth. “I’m not sure I could do this with half as much grace as you. Nope. I’m good with one at a time.”

“It certainly has it’s challenges,” she said.

Once the little bottoms were taken care of. Osh’ri’ca came over to steal all of his children’s attention, making Ivy roll her eyes. She loved it, despite complaining about how she’s the one that feeds them but they both prefer their father.

I told them all good night as Roar came to get me and I jumped into his arms, just like most nights since we were married.

“The sooner we get to the sun camp, the better,” he grumbled, carrying me to our tent and letting me climb in before joining me and letting Diesel curl up at my feet. “I wish to see you holding our own kits.”

“I will,” I told him, and he growled softly before sighing. “What is it?”

“When we reach the camp, you’ll have to set it up on your own. The beasts that make our tents don’t linger long and I need many of them to make our home,” he said. “The sooner we leave to find them, the more likely it’ll be that we’ll find enough.”

“How long will you be gone?” I asked him and he stayed quiet until I turned around to face him in the darkness. “How long, Roar?”

“A week, if we’re lucky. Longer, if not. But no longer than a moon cycle,” he said, and I felt like I could cry.

“A month?” I whispered.

“I know you will be safe. Diesel will make sure of it,” he said.

“Yeah, safe, but my mate won’t be with me,” I said. “Roar, please. Take me with you. You know I can hunt with you.”

“Not this, my mate,” he rubbed his lips against my forehead before kissing it. “They aren’t predators, but they fight when hunted. You don’t move as quickly as I do, and I won’t risk you getting hurt.”

“I don’t want to be alone, Roar,” I said quietly. “I’m afraid that something will happen, and I’ll be alone again.”

“I’ll never leave you alone,” he took my face in his paws and kissed me deeply. “I’ll come back to you, Fern. Nothing will keep me from coming home to you.”

“I love you, Roar,” I told him.

Ivy stood in the back of her sled, waving, as she got farther and farther away. The last of the clans were starting to split up and ours was the one to break away from the rest today. We’d reach the location of the sun camp by the end of the day and then, in the morning, Roar and the rest of the hunting party would leave to go find the kaakan, the large creatures that would provide us with the hide for our tents and enough meat to last the clan until the snow melted and the other creatures returned.

“I’ll miss them,” I said when I caught Roar watching me closely.

“So will I,” he said when I jumped from the back of the sled to walk beside him.

We walked quietly until we stopped for the night and set up the tent. Diesel had taken to sleeping under the sled, now that the weather was warming up and he had yet to start shedding his winter coat. We tried to be considerate of him, and his nose, as often as possible since he had to share close quarters with us, but nights like this were just for me and Roar.

“Fern,” Roar groaned softly as he slid into me. “I wish to bind with you.”

“What?” I asked and then gasped as he thrust sharply.

“I will be returning with a tent for us. We’ll have a home, so I wish to bind you so you can grow a kit,” he said.

“I just want you to come home, Roar,” I told him. “I don’t want to lose you and the last time you left me, I almost did.”

“I will not be alone this time,” he rolled his hips forward. “I’ve been in many hunting parties when we look for kaakan. I know them and I will be fine.”

“I don’t want to have kits alone, Roar,” I said, the pleasure breaking down the wall the I kept that particular fear stuffed behind.

He froze over me and then he kissed me deeply.

“You won’t be alone, Fern. I swear, I’ll be there to catch every kit we have together,” he told me and thrust slowly. “If it scares you that much, though, we’ll wait a bit longer. I don’t want you worried like this while our kit grows in you. I’d rather you be nothing but happy, always.”

“I can’t lose you. I’ve lost everyone else, but I can’t lose you,” I told him.

“You’ll never not have me. I love you too much to ever let you be alone again,” he told me before making me completely forget about all of my fear and worry.

The next morning, I woke up and he was gone.