Primitive Instinct: The Journey Home

“You have done a lot, Fern,” Roar said, looking around the tent two weeks after I went out to hunt on my own. “Better than even I thought you capable of.”

“I’m tiny, but mighty,” I grinned, knowing it looked as tired as I felt, despite having just woke up.

“The moon is getting dark. Too dark for you to hunt safely,” he said, and I nodded my agreement as I got some meat for us to eat for breakfast. “I wish to bathe. There are hot pools some distance away, but many of the Mapok travel there. It’s been long enough into the snow cycle that hides have been placed around them to keep eyes from seeing what they shouldn’t. I wish to wash the breath of the cazza from the back of my neck and you smell like a hunter.”

“I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment or an insult,” I twisted my mouth at him, handing him the meat as he handed me a cup of tea.

“It is a good thing, Fern. But it also chases the animals away,” he smirked at me before holding his paws out to indicate the tent that seemed like it was bursting with hides, bones, and feather. “You have brought much in, now you need to rest. The meat you brought will last a long time and the smoking tent we made yesterday will ensure your next hunt will begin filling the stores for when we return to the sun camp.”

“I do smell pretty potent,” I wrinkled my nose, and he held his paws together, making me gasp and smack his shoulder before going to sit back on my bed. “What did the healer say yesterday when she came?”

“That I am healing well. I might not be able to join you on the hunts when you go out next, but I will be able to the next time you can’t,” he answered, then looked across the fire at me with a smirk, his ear flicking in amusement. “But you will still make me take Diesel and his sled.”

“Of course, I will,” I rolled my eyes at him, making him laugh.

“I made you more clothes,” he announced and pointed to a stack of hide I hadn’t noticed before. “I used more tumpra hair and the shirt is layered, to keep you warmer.”

“Thank you, Roar,” I looked at him, not entirely sure what else to say. “I’m still not used to having someone care about me like that.”

“Yes, it’s an odd feeling,” he chuckled and rubbed his paw on the back of his neck.

“But a good one,” I added. “How far to the hot pools?”

“We will be gone all day. The trip isn’t long, but it will be nice to linger for a bit.”

I packed up our things and put the sling on the back of the sled before Roar hobbled out on his crutch and sat down, using the pack as a backrest and grumbling about being hauled around like a kit or the elderly as we left the camp after we ate.

We got to the pools and, just as Roar had said, there were wooden stakes with hide stretched around them to isolate the pools for privacy.

“Some of the Mapok males take great offense to other males seeing their mates without clothes,” he explained as he hobbled towards one of the pools. “It’s one thing among the clan members, where such things can’t always be avoided, but there are many strangers at the snow camp.”

“Makes sense,” I nodded.

“I ask that we share a pool this time,” he said, eyeing some of the other males. Some were more canine in the ears, some were the birdlike Eeng Mapok, but many of them were looking at me like I was meat about to be devoured. “Not all Mapok have honor and I might be injured, but I’m still a warrior and a hunter. They are not bold enough to try something... foul.”

“I have blunt teeth, but they still hurt, and I happen to be the right height to do a lot of damage with well-aimed kicks,” I said, making him pause on the way up to the pools to laugh briefly. “But I’d prefer not to if it can be avoided.”

When we made it up to the pools, finally, he found one that was empty and tied the hide entrance shut. The water here was a milky color, thanks to the tiny air bubbles as the water filtered up from below and I understood Roar’s reasoning a little more. We might be in the same pool, but there was no chance of seeing nakedness. Not that it mattered much. When you share a one room tent with someone, you were bound to change clothes eventually. We did our best to do so discreetly, or when the other wasn’t there, but accidents happened.

“I need to seal my wound first. The sand at the bottom is not as coarse here, but it cleans just as well,” he said, bending to remove his shoes that protected his foot pads from the cold of the snow.

I stripped quickly and slipped into the water, a quiet sigh escaping me as the heat wrapped around me. I ducked under and grabbed a handful of sand to start scrubbing myself, making sure I got in my hair until my scalp tingled.

“I’m used to bathing nearly every day,” I said softly as I scoured my skin on my arms and hands until it turned pink before bending and lifting my leg under the water to do the same thing there. “The hot pools are very, very welcome.”

He chuckled behind me, and I felt him splash water at the back of my head.

“It also warms me more than I have been since I got here,” I said and ducked under to grab more sand. “It doesn’t really get very cold like this where I’m from.”

“You aren’t built for it,” he agreed, and I heard splashing as he grabbed sand for himself. “But you are clever.”

“So I’ve been told,” I laughed. “When the sun comes back and the snow melts, you do know I’ll have to force Diesel into a pool, right?”

“Why would you do that?” he laughed. “He looks terrified every time a bath is mentioned.”

“His fur will clump if I don’t,” I said, and he snorted.

“Yes, the worst part of the sun cycles is when the thick fur for the snow comes loose,” he said. “I don’t have as much as he does, so I can imagine how miserable it makes him. Very itchy.”

I giggled and shook my head before ducking under the water and swimming around briefly before standing up and pushing the water from my face to cross my arms on the side of the pool and put my chin on them.

“When I claimed the first site at the camp, and the female told me that she didn’t want the spot, but didn’t want me there either, she seemed confused when I told her that I was only still here because of you,” I said. “Why would that be confusing? Everyone knows you took me in, and we share a tent. And it’s been more than obvious that you’ve been teaching me things even a child half my age would know.”

Roar laughed loudly and I looked over my shoulder to see him holding on to the side of the pool, sand in his hair and fur as he had been scrubbing. I lifted an eyebrow at him and waited until he was able to speak again.

“Care to share what is so amusing?” I asked him and he laughed softer as he started scrubbing again.

“The only reason an unmated female would remain in a place she didn’t want to be was if there was a male that she found appealing,” he answered, and my eyes went wide in shock. “The confusion, I suspect, is because none of the clan thought of seeing our situation like that.”

“Oh,” I said simply and turned back to rest my chin on my arms. “Oops.”

He chuckled again but didn’t say anything else until he came and leaned his back on the side of the pool beside me at a polite distance. I looked at the markings in his fur and tilted my head as tried to trace them with my eyes.

“The color is odd,” he said when he noticed me staring and put his paws under the water again. “And the pattern is not one that is natural.”

“Is that why the clan isn’t warm towards you as they should be?” I asked softly and his ear twitched before he nodded. “Idiots.”

He looked at me with a strange look and I shrugged and waved my hand around dismissively.

“The color is strange, and the pattern isn’t what you’d expect, but I happen to like it. It’s unique,” I told him, and he looked at his wet fur curiously. “And between me and you, it happens to be a color I find most pleasing to look at.”

“Boja berries are this color. Poison,” he said and dropped his paw into the water once again. “For a long time, the clan didn’t want to touch me or anything I had held.”

“That’s awful. And dumb,” I made a face and he shrugged.

“They fear things that aren’t what they know. It’s why they treat you so badly,” he stated. “It will improve, but not much.”

“Are you going to say what I think you’re going to say?” I asked and he smirked crookedly at me.

“While we are here in the valley, it might be good to look at the other clans for a place to go. If you aren’t leaving, then I’ll go where you are treated better, so you don’t have to fear that your own clan may harm you whenever you leave our tent,” he said.

“Are you sure about this?” I asked him and his jaw tensed for a bit before he nodded. “This is the clan you were born in. You grew up here. Hool’gra’nat-.”

“Is the one that told me to go,” he interrupted me. “I’m sure, Fern’rath’fik. If you don’t feel safe, it isn’t home.”

“You don’t have to leave with us,” I said, and he snorted before he chuckled.

“That looked painful to say,” he smirked at me. “You are my family. Where you go, I will go as well.”

I couldn’t help but smile at that. I would leave alone, if that was what I needed to do, but I’m very glad I won’t need to. I liked having someone to talk to and Roar was probably the only person I could spend long periods of time with and not want to choke. Not even Uncle Rudy had that going for him.

“Just not the Eeng clans. They live too high up and we won’t be able to breath well,” he said.

“And I’m not fond of sharing a living space with the cazza,” I shuddered, then ducked under the water again to get rid of the chill of fear the memory brought with it.

“You didn’t lose me,” Roar said softly, so I barely heard him. “I’m okay.”

I looked over at him and he was watching me intently, yet with a firm look in his eyes.

“When I saw the blood, I thought I did,” I replied, just as quietly. “There was a lot of blood.”

I closed my eyes as another shudder went through me before I turned and leaned back on the side of the pool and brought my hair over my shoulder so I could pick the tangles out.

“I didn’t see you,” he said, and I looked over to find him staring into the water. “When I got to the cliff, I didn’t see you right away and it scared me. Cazza aren’t entirely solitary. They only mate to one other and they come together for the mating season and then to raise their young but spend the sun cycle apart. They hunt together until the female is too heavy with their offspring. It is still some time before their season comes, so when I only saw the male, I hoped he had not yet found a mate, as he was still young.”

“How do you know it was young?” I asked him.

“He was small,” he looked at me and I felt my face go pale for a second. “He might not get much taller, but he was thinner. Not as much muscle, which was good, for me. He was weak and I was able to stay in front of him until the cliff.”

“And then you didn’t see me,” I nodded, understanding.

“You are very small,” he grinned, and I splashed water at him as I laughed.