Prime Slime

Without rainfall all year, the summer drought threatened to be the worst ever. The Island, once a play land for the rich, no longer qualified as New York’s choice vacation spot. The locals also worried about the threat of fire. It was a miserable time all around.

At Burrstone, school had just ended, and students were leaving the premises as quickly as possible…except for those in the summer school program. The students remaining were of two types: those trying to get ahead, and those lagging behind. Some sought to complete their degrees early. Others were taking coursework they’d been avoiding, or were forced to repeat. There was no other reason to stay, unless you had to.

One popular summer course at Burrstone was a biology elective entitled “Microbes and Man”, a non-major’s elective for fulfilling science requirements. High attendance was attributed to its teacher, Dr. Evan Lucian, who was attractive in many ways.

“Our topic today is slime,” Evan began, writing the word ‘BIOFILM’ in large letters on the chalkboard. He added a few drips for accent. “Bacteria prefer to live in communities, not as individuals. And, like glue, slime is what holds them together.

“Slime is everywhere,” he continued. “Nearly all microbes make it; some to our advantage; some to our detriment.

“Slime serves many purposes for bacteria and for nature.”

It was a foul subject, but it was Evan’s charge to convey the importance of biofilm, good and bad. Fortunately, for the 30-odd students, they were being schooled by the best in the business.

“Bacteria are social creatures,” Evan maintained. “They can live separately and individually, but work much better in masses attached to surfaces. We call these communities biofilms.”

From his computer, Dr. Lucian projected a cartoon of slime onto a TV monitor. Bacteria were shown as smiley-faced circles encased in slime on a surface. The few unattached bacteria had sad faces, suggesting that bacteria prefer community living.

Evan created his own visuals. He could have been an artist, if not tied to other pursuits. His lectures employed everything–images, sounds, textures and smells–to keep students entertained. With a red laser pointer, he encircled an unhappy, detached germ: “As free-floaters, bacteria are easy targets. But, in biofilms, they are much, much harder to kill.

Like those free-floaters, Evan preferred to be alone much of the time, immersed in his work. But, being alone had its challenges. Solitude makes for someone uniquely interesting, but often graceless and unaware. Sometimes it also makes for loneliness.

Despite the aloofness, Evan was well received by his students. He descended from his ivory tower, not with rigid lesson plans, but with concepts and principles that went deeper and reached further. It was a welcome relief from the drone of medical training. Even for non-majors, he helped them better understand their world.

“Take the mouth for example.” He projected a close-up of teeth, covered with yellow-brown plaque. “With every swallow, millions of bacteria are killed by stomach acid. But, billions survive on your teeth. This plaque biofilm is removed daily by brushing, to keep teeth from rotting.” Evan scratched his front teeth and rolled his fingers together to make the point.

Teaching was just one of his many charms. Evan was still attractive for a man in his fifties. His taste in clothing was often collegiate, but he dressed well for any occasion. Tall, athletic and tan, he had an unmistakable presence. The evidence was clear, judging from the pretty women attending his classes. They dominated the front row.

Teaching non-scientists wasn’t the greatest challenge, but Evan relished the opportunity. As a public advocate for science, he took pride in translating difficult material for lay audiences. He wanted the world to know cool slime is, and how it affected everything.

Slime was rife with meaning. It oozed with negativity, implying something disgusting or creepy. It defined insincerity or lack of integrity in love, business or politics. Evan was enamored with bacterial slime, but disgusted by slimy corporate practices, especially in the pharmaceutical industry, along with the crooked politicians in bed with them.

But, Evan was blind to his own slimy, philandering ways. Even at his age, he still viewed women as objects. Commitment to one of them was very difficult, especially when there were so many to be had. But, these rationalizations kept him from the joy of intimacy. Slime finds its way into all unexamined spaces.

Evan was the classic Casanova. Like Jekyll and Hyde, one urge kept him chasing success, and the other, women. For such men, the rules of romance were flexible, the focus was sexual, and the love liberal; it all came too easy. The teacher and his subject were inextricably linked.

Competition for front-row seats in Lucian’s class was fierce, but Dexter would not be denied. He got there early to be close to the professor, and could care less what these dumb girls thought. Impatient for knowledge, he couldn’t stop fidgeting, as Evan dumbed it down for other students. As a teacher’s aide, Dexter had no choice but to be there, but wanted to be nowhere elsewhere. He was in awe of his mentor.

Who could blame him? Dr. Lucian’s presentations were memorable. With words and pictures, students experienced the world of microbes through his eyes. They saw them as never before: clinging to the toilet bowl, absorbing nutrients, exchanging chemicals with neighbors, adapting to community life.

Biofilms thrive even in great turbulence. But clumps of it frequently slough off, flow downstream, and adhere to other favorable sites. It covers all surfaces. Evan conveyed this with precision and flair. He was the Da Vinci of slime.

Part of Evan’s thrust was to promote his anti-slime agents. He was poised to radically advance the technology, save lives, and secure his financial future. So, increasing slime and MIFF awareness was everything. You could not fault him for that.

“Biofilms take advantage of breaches in immunity. Once entrenched, it becomes increasingly resistant to immune defenses and antibiotics.” Evan projected a series of graphic images, showing biofilms on a catheter, hip joint, heart valve, etc. He’d seen these images often, but they moved him like for the first time.

“Attachment is the first step in infection,” he went on. “Once attached, bacteria multiply rapidly. In a day or two, billions are present. Then you can see, smell and feel the slimy stuff. It grows in your pet’s water bowl, in the humidifier, on your contact lenses, and in your faucets.

Evan displayed a biofilm image resembling a mushroom cloud.

“Wow! Like high-rise condos for germs,” said one lovely lady up front. Evan nodded affectionately.

“Biofilms can be problematic,” he continued. “They prevent drainage on golf courses. They clog pipes, filters, and drains. Slime fouls crude oil, and impedes the fracking process. The paper industry fights slime on its production lines, as do the meat and milk industries.” Evan showed several images to illustrate these examples. He displayed a metal pipe clogged by a black sludge.

“The economic toll is shocking. Slime drag on the bottom of navy ships increases fuel consumption by 20%, costing billions to taxpayers. The rust on cars and bridges is catalyzed by slime. Constantly disinfecting machinery and rebuilding infrastructure is lost revenue.” Evan’s voice rose and fell with the key points.

“Our battle with slime has polluted the earth with many toxins, including antibiotics, disinfectants, pesticides, plastics and heavy metals. These toxins can be as dangerous as the biofilms themselves. Overuse has rendered antibiotics largely ineffective. Antibiotics also kill good bacteria, which protect us from bad ones. It’s a vicious cycle, and a major health care problem!” Evan took a sip of water, looked suspiciously at the bottle, and continued.

“All things decay and are recycled by biofilms. It’s a natural and necessary process. Bacteria break down organic matter and release minerals. New life is not possible without it.”

Evan used the words ‘slime’ and ‘biofilm’ interchangeably. The technical term ‘biofilm’ was used by professionals and among polite company. In contrast, the earthy word ‘slime’ told it like it is. Both had their moments.

When necessary, Evan curtailed the slime talk. There was no glamour in slime. To avoid disdain from the ladies, he referred to MIFF as an antiseptic, which made things much simpler. They could relate to that. But he insisted on being provocative in class.

“Take the vagina, for example, which harbors mostly friendly biofilms.” A silent giggle filled the room. “But, antibiotics damage friendly biofilms, allowing harmful, malodorous germs to flourish. Biofilms can be beneficial, but also disagreeable.”

Dr. Lucian thrived in the space between truth and audacity. He would do most anything to keep their attention.

“Bathrooms are havens for slime, especially the men’s room,” Evan joked. The room filled with laughter, as women shook their heads in agreement.

“Once formed, biofilms require mechanical removal. It’s called scrubbing. Maybe you guys heard of it.” Again the laughter, and a few embarrassed faces. Evan played the mock and shock game to keep them amused.

“Most infections begin as biofilms. Patients with cystic fibrosis, cancer, burns, or AIDs are highly vulnerable to biofilm infections. Pneumonias, bladder and ear infections all manifest as biofilms. Even colitis and sinusitis are biofilm-mediated.

“Hip and knee replacements can easily be contaminated by slime, requiring their removal. Nearly 50% of wounded soldiers, fitted with prosthetic parts, suffer from chronic, orthopedic wound infections. None of our medicines work.”

“Was that epidemic last week a biofilm?” one student asked. “How did you stop it?” Word got around that Evan saved Burrstone from disaster, and saved many lives in the process.

“That was one nasty critter!” Evan nodded. “That slime crawled out of a manure pile in South America and rode on a crate of lettuce to our cafeteria. Hospital personnel then spread it to patients. Antibiotics couldn’t stop it, but cutting off the source of infection and proper hygiene/sanitation prevented further spread.”

“What’s up with that smelly compound of yours?” asked one of the young ladies up front. “Was it used against the slime?” Most everybody at Burrstone was familiar with Evan’s new anti-biofilm agent. It was hard to avoid the rotten-egg smell around his lab, which was centrally located on campus. The stench from MIFF permeated the entire area, whenever a new batch was made.

“Get a whiff of MIFF,” someone joked.

“We’ve got much more refining to do before MIFF is approved for use,” Evan confessed. “That’s what science is all about.”

Though a work in progress, MIFF was the real deal. Portrayals of slime in movies–such as Ghost Busters or The Blob–were not about real slime, or anything approximating it in nature. Evan was a real slime fighter, with a real anti-slime agent in the works.

“Earth once reeked of bad smells. Bacteria living billions of years ago belched hydrogen sulfide—the stench of rotten eggs.”

Thankfully, Terri, helped change the topic: “So, biofilms promote both infection and decay. Aren’t they the same process?”

“An interesting question, Terri,” Evan replied. “Generally speaking, infection happens to living matter, and decay happens after death. For example, a compost pile decays; even your teeth decay, since the enamel is not living tissue. Infection is usually a much slower process, and countered by an immune response, yet they’re similar.”

“What role does the immune system play?” Terri continued. She was the only woman in the room not made up, but looked better than the rest.

“A huge part,” Evan responded. “Our immune defenses are constantly under attack. We are weakened by age, toxins, stress, emotional and physical insults, poor nutrition, drugs, pollution, lack of exercise or sleep, excess solar radiation, etc. Maintaining good health and immunity are quite challenging.

“Infections start with a breach in immunity. The youngest and oldest are most vulnerable, with immature or aging immune systems, respectively. In the hospital, vulnerable patients are exposed to an assortment of nasty biofilms. It’s a no-win situation.

“Biofilms are opportunists. They take advantage of weakness. They find your soft spot and take your house down. So, a healthy immunity is everything.” The students were left contemplating their own mortality.

Meanwhile, Dexter was absorbing every word like a sponge. He was a nerd’s nerd, a Poindexter type right out of the Saturday morning cartoons. Like his mentor, Dexter lived and breathed science. He chose Burrstone specifically to do research with Dr. Lucian. For him, there was no better place to be. He raised his hand, excitedly.

“Are biofilms catalysts for the 2nd law of thermodynamics?”

“Huh? What?” His schoolmates looked at each other like ‘Who’s the nerd in the front row?’

“Interesting, Dexter.” Evan replied, trying to recall his college physics. “Everything breaks down, and microbes play a role in most of it. Without microbes, stuff would accumulate over time—dead bodies, trees, etc. Forests would be impenetrable without decay, full of dead animals and trees. Life would be impossible without it. So, yes, biofilms are the soldiers of entropy.

“Sewage systems are perfect examples. Tons of human excrement are recycled daily. That’s a lot of shhh…” Evan stopped, just barely, to provoke a laugh or two. “What would life be like if our excrement lingered?” That was entirely too much information for most in the classroom.

“Our guts are like sewage systems. Biofilms line our intestines, to help break down our food. There are roughly 100 trillion bacteria in the human gut, or 10000 times the number of people in the world. That’s 10 times more than all the cells in your body. In fact, half the weight of poop is bacteria.”

TMI…again! Evan could be awfully clinical.

“Gut biofilms help us detoxify, digest food, metabolize hormones, make vitamins, and prevent infection. We could not function without them.”

“Perhaps we’re just vehicles for them,” Terri offered, “like fancy Cadillacs.”

Evan had to laugh. He was blown away by her brilliance and beauty.

She continued: “They’ve been around billions of years longer than us. Perhaps we’re just doing their bidding.”

“Actually, we’ve evolved together over billions of years,” Evan suggested, “finding ways to work in harmony.”

“Some aren’t so harmonious,” Terri added.

“They’re just doing their jobs,” Dexter interjected.

“Yes that’s true, Mr. Nichols! Bacteria are on the clean-up committee.”

Evan scanned the room, catching the eye of an attentive female or two. “Everyone in this room will be dismantled by slime someday.” His eyes opened wide, like that of a mad scientist. No one laughed. There was nothing funny about being eaten.

“Is that why rocks are slimy when it rains?” a student asked.

“Yes, and we’ve all slipped on rocks wading in a stream. With each rainfall, bacteria release minerals from rocks, which help plants and animals grow. It’s part of the cycle of life.”

Evan was wound up, and buoyed by a ton of recent successes: his biofilm paper got published; the MIFF patent was granted to Burrstone; his multi-million dollar federal grant was funded; and, he was promoted to full professor, with a substantial pay hike. What’s more, he just saved Burrstone from ruin. His efforts were bearing fruit beyond what most people could ever know.

Another young lady in the front row lured Evan in with a smile, followed by a curve ball:

“How come you don’t look like a scientist?” she asked, with penetrating eyes. People were often surprised at Evan’s choice of profession, but he thought it unfair to stereotype.

“All kinds of people become scientists. As Nobelist Peter Medawar put it, there are scientists who categorize and classify things. There are artistic types who create new ideas, and technologists who advance science through methodological approaches. There are those who tinker with machines. There are theorists who radically change the focus of study. Some work alone, while others prefer teamwork. Some are playful, some serious. There is a broad range of character and style in science. We’re not all nerds and robots!”

The young lady was unfazed, and ever flirtatious.

“So, in summary, biofilms support life, hasten death, and make new life possible,” Evan mused.

Dexter responded, as though the conversation belonged to just the two of them: “What if we could speed up slime formation? Would that not also speed up infection and decay? With our new molecular biology tools, we could rev up the process.” Dexter could hardly sit still, as these ideas raced through his head.

Evan paused, reflecting on the recent Kleb epidemic. He did not quite know how to respond. The conversation was also a bit esoteric, and he feared losing his audience.

“I’m not sure, Dexter. Natural laws are fairly fixed and immutable. Your molecular tools could hasten the process, but for what purpose? Nature has decided what works and what doesn’t.”

“What about plagues that have wiped out chunks of human, animal and plant existence? Are these exceptions to Nature’s rules?” Dexter asked.

“Plagues do take their toll,” Evan agreed. “Yet, microbes find ways to live in harmony with all creatures, and we with them.

“But, we should talk about this privately, Dexter.” Evan paused and studied his notes briefly before continuing.

Terri was still curious about an earlier discussion: “I’m fascinated by the idea of communal living among microbes. In a way, biofilms are more like complex, multicellular organisms. I wonder, are biofilms the evolutionary link to higher life forms?”

Rarely was Evan caught off guard in his own area of expertise. He was not accustomed to having students challenge him this way. Having attracted these two prized graduate students to his lab was a milestone long in coming.

“An excellent homework assignment! Everyone write an essay, due next week, on multicellular life evolving from biofilms.”

“Huh? Wha’?” All eyes turned to Burt Nadley, a colossal man, who played football for the varsity team. Snoozing in the back of the room, Nadley stirred to the word “homework”. All looked away as he wiped the drool from his notebook.

“Pay attention, kids. I want a one-page, type-written essay on the connection between advanced life forms and biofilms.”

He had to yell out the last few words, as the bell had rung, signaling the end of class. The students piled out quickly, having had their share of slime for one day. Nadley banged a few chairs, and whispered some profanities as he exited, having no idea what the homework question meant. When the smoke cleared, only Terri, Dexter and Evan remained.

Terri was on her way out the door when Evan stopped her. “That is an interesting concept, Terri.”

“Yes, I’ve been thinking about it lately,” she replied. “Billions of years ago, bacteria took on specialized functions and became co-dependent. Different kinds of bacteria learned to live together in biofilms. Diversity appears to be the essential feature of slime. Such diversity then sets the stage for more complicated life forms.”

“A noble thought, but flawed,” Dexter interjected as he jumped into the conversation. “Human cells are different from biofilms in so many ways that it’s not logical to envision a link.

“Rather, the essence of slime is protection. Each cell is coated with it to prevent against drought, starvation, and predators. Bacteria gather together in a biofilm to reinforce their protective armor. Diversity may or may not be present.”

Terri nodded agreeably. Though competitive in a friendly way, both Terri and Dexter appreciated each other’s input. Both also respected the intricacies of biofilm function.

“Maybe it’s more complex than that,” Evan offered. “A key function of slime is to anchor microbes so they can eat away at surfaces to obtain food, or hang around for opportunities to infect. It’s all about picking your spots.” Both Terri and Dexter acknowledged the importance of this, and other functions mentioned. Biofilms were complex, and not easily defined.

“Listen Terri,” Evan said as she was leaving, “we need to talk more about your theory, and devise ways to test it.”

“Great!” she answered from out in the hall, her head popping back into view.

Dexter wrested Evan from Terri’s spell: “I think it would be worthwhile to speed up the decay process.” It took a moment for Evan to switch gears.

“It could be interesting. It could help define how the process is regulated. Yet I’m a little concerned about where such a project is headed. Bacteria are nasty enough as it is. Let’s talk about this later, back at the lab, Dexter.”

Meanwhile, in the hallway, Burt Nadley waited for Dexter.

“Hey Huge, how ‘bout helping out your buddy?” Dexter was anything but huge, especially standing next to Mr. Nadley.

“What’s up, big guy?” Dexter tried not to show fear.

“You’re smart; way smarter than me! I bet you could knock out two reports for Dr. Lucian, Don’t you think?”

“I’m not so sure Dr. Lucian would condone…”

“Don’t worry about Teach,” Burt interrupted. “This is between me and you.” Nadley’s message was crystal clear.

“Sure, I’ll help you,” Dexter assented. “It might be fun to come up with two different ideas on the subject.” He would give the lesser one to Burt. “But only this one time, okay?”

“Yeah sure, Yugo. Just don’t make me look like a geek.”

“No problem.”