Pretty Boy Psycho

I managed to be bright and early for history class. Too early. Charlie isn’t even here yet. There’s no way I’m giving Clover an excuse to give me a look of disappointment today. Everything’s gonna be okay. I’ll listen hard, keep focused, and take sheets upon sheets of notes. Looky, my pencil is poised ready to write even though Master Clover hasn’t arrived yet. Charlie, Lee, and Tanya have though. I look straight ahead as they take their seats.

No distractions.

Ot-oh I’m drawing a swirly pattern on the edge of my paper. I slap my hand, then write, History, at the top of the page as the rest of class flock into the classroom.

No distractions. I’m all set.

Geordie slumps into the seat next to mine. Pours the contents of his satchel onto the table, overflowing onto my paper. “I swear summat eats my pencils.”

“You keep snapping them,” Danny sits on my other side, “pencil murderer.”

Are they sitting with me? Perhaps their seats got taken. I look over my shoulder. Their usual table is empty.

“How’s your arm?” If I get an answer they might really be sitting with me.

Geordie rolls up his sleeve to reveal a bandage. “Master Hugo made me a salve to keep away infections. The wound should heal underneath.”

“Does it hurt?”

Geordie pulls down his sleeve. “Not really. My black eye is more uncomfortable.”

“Did you get my note?” asks Danny. “I was knocking on your door for ages.”

I nod and busy myself adding more decoration to my swirly pattern. I bet they’ll move onto their seats in a minute. A minute passes and I realise Geordie’s watching my pencil.

“Let’s have quiet please.” Clover slams a heavy book load onto her desk. “Who can tell me how tall Spindle Tower is?”

Geordie gives Clover this pissed type of glare. Looks as though he wants to thrust his fist into her face. The whole class has gone beyond silent. Charlie’s hand hasn’t even shot to the Cloud Barrier. I have no idea what happens at Spindle Tower but it’s obviously something we shouldn’t be discussing so soon after Geordie nearly ended up in there.

“Well anyone an answer?”

Charlie slowly raises his hand.

“Twat,” Geordie murmurs as Charlie gives his answer.

“And what is the purpose of Spindle Tower?”

“Experimentation,” says Collette from behind me. “General Midnight takes people with unusual dark hair colours there to try discover what’s in their genes. Why they haven’t got the affliction.”

“And why does she do this?”

“Because she’s a fucking sadistic bitch,” answers Geordie without bothering to raise his hand.

“Perhaps, however there is another important reason,” says Clover.

“So she has possession of a cure for the affliction thus a monopoly on the world,” says Charlie.

“Exactly,” praises Clover.

Geordie flicks a pencil sharpening at Charlie. “Wrong. She’s pure psycho just wants an excuse to torture.”

At this point I have no clue how to take notes. Class has turned into a raging debate between Geordie and Charlie. No one else is writing save for Master Clover as she observes how these two conduct their arguments, monitoring them. “Are we being tested today?” I hiss at Danny.

Danny shakes his head looking puzzled at my question. To enlighten him I tap my pencil on the table then point the nib at Clover. He slouches in his chair either unconcerned at being monitored or doesn’t see what’s happening. This is a third year class maybe they’ve learnt to accept being observed. Seems creepy to me.

I raise my voice. “Are we being tested today?”

Silence save for the snapping of Clover’s pencil. I think I’ve discovered the real pencil murderer.

“Corey West, this is not a camping trip and you will address me as Master. Do not question me in my study room ever again. Only I ask the questions.”

I really don’t care for Master Clover’s class room rules. All I want to do is make some friends failing that she can have me booted out of Cloud High. I could go see Casey, plead with him to listen to me. No no NO. Pleading is bad. I have done enough of that. He probably hasn’t even realised I’m missing. Cringe cringe cringe.

Lesson over I grab my satchel and shoot out of class needing some air quick. There’s a half hour interval until weapons practise. I’m gonna need all the air I can get before getting teased for being useless with a sword. I find my way to the pond and kneel on the bank, staring into the water for a glimpse of Alpha Fish.

A fist thumps my shoulder blade. “Run over the bridge and never come back,” says Max. He musses my hair real hard, hurting my scalp. “No one wants you here.”

As quick as he came he is gone leaving me with the dark fingers of depression crawling their way towards my core. I lay back in the grass. Close my eyes. Tell myself everything is all right. I hear someone slump down beside me. I open one eye. See Geordie and Danny sitting back to back. Are they sitting with me or did they decide to chill beside the pond and I happened to be here? Of course

they’re just chilling. I’m probs in their way. I sit myself up, get my satchel, and make to leave. I’m detecting a glumness leaking out of these two. Somehow they don’t seem fully here. Geordie picks at grass while Danny sits in a vacant quiet. I suppose Geordie was nearly dragged off to Spindle Tower the other day. Only half stood I sit back down.

I am going to try for conversation. “Have you two been friends long?”

“Since we were about three,” says Danny. “We met at a community centre parents took their kids to learn and play.”

“He don’t wanna hear about that crap.”

“Let me guess, you stopped going to play on the tube tracks. Three did you say?” I count off their time together on my fingers. “Ten years. Wow you’ll be having your eleven year anniversary next year. Danny however have you managed to keep him out of trouble for verging over a decade?”

“Shut it,” snaps Geordie.

I do but only because I see a group of girls coming over the bridge. “Who are they?”

“They’re the most popular kids in Cloud High,” says Danny. “Team Ashley. They got griffons last year.”

Team Ashley. I’ve heard of them because everyone chatters about them in the refectory. “Does having griffons mean they’re a field agent team in training?”

“Obviously, idiot,” grumbles Geordie.

“Which one’s Ashley?”

“The girl with strawberry blond hair,” musters Danny so Team Ashley don’t hear him as they pass by us.

I glance at the girl with strawberry blond hair figuring she will walk right by me only I’m taken aback when she stops to smile at me. “Corey West, right?”

“That’s me. Wait, you know my name?”

“Of course, Corey. Last night Master Hugo was telling us the most wonderful story of how the new third year boy, with striking blond hair, killed Captain Sad to rescue the rough Hackney lad.” Still smiling, ever so sweetly, she carries on her way, getting jostled by her friends, Dede and Pepper. Geordie’s not too far behind them; saunters off without a word with Danny following him at a more casual pace. I guess it must be time for weapons practise. I give them five minutes before I set off for class. I wouldn’t want them to think I’m creeping round after them stalkerish.

Master Hugo is outside his shed polishing swords, daggers, axes, anything sharp really. So far we’re the only one’s here. I wonder why Geordie wanted to be early. Seeing Master Hugo has a lot of shining up to do I grab a spare rag, pick up a heavy sword, and help him out.

“This is a first,” Master Hugo keeps his eyes down, on his polishing, “having a trainee give me a hand sprucing up the equipment.”

“You do have a lot of weapons to get through.” I turn over the sword to make sure I got off every single speck of dirt.

“Your comrades told me you took on Captain Sad by yourself. Impressive.”

“Not really. I was a coward. Came at Sad from behind. He didn’t even know I was there.”

“Got the job done didn’t it? Besides he could quite easily have heard you coming and turned around. Then what eh?”

“I’d have dropped my sword, screamed, and ran away.”

“Lucky for your team that didn’t happen.” Eyes still down Master Hugo inclines his head at Geordie. “Try teach him some caution for me. Charlie’s is all over the place. Geordie’s none. Max a little. Danny’s close to spot on. Tanya, getting there. And you have a caution way too much.”

“Does that make Danny your star student?”

“Sort of. Geordie wins him a lot. No caution which works here but out there well you witnessed.”

Here comes the rest of our class. My stomach gets queasy as Master Hugo raises his eyes to make contact with mine. “Need to force yourself not to run. Work with Danny today. You know he won’t hurt you so there’s no need to back off.”

The queasiness bubbles away. “Thank you.”

“It’s not a favour lad. I’m trying a different tact with you. If this fails I might bash you round myself.”

“Why do I have to learn to fight when I want to work in relief?”

“Relief eh.” Master Hugo watches me finish up shining one of his daggers. “We prepare for every eventuality here. Even our relief workers could get into bother. There’s not many of them.”

“How many’s not many?”

“At the moment two. Wouldn’t you get bored sitting in an office all day waiting for someone to come knocking with personal issues?”

I shake my head. “I wouldn’t wait around. I want to help in Lundune. Get relief to those suffering with the affliction.”

Master Hugo snorts with laughter as he passes me a practise sword. “Danny get Corey to stand his ground. Geordie to Charlie. Max with Tanya. Collette you go with Lee. Remember I’m watching, mentally noting down your silly mistakes.”

I will stand my ground. I will. I will. I will: is what I keep repeating to myself as I face Danny clutching my sword. Go over and over the I wills in my mind as he takes a swing at me. I close my eyes tight.

“Move then.” Danny’s sword hovers above my head.

I take a step back.

“Block me. Eyes open or you can’t see where to aim.”

Okay this is Danny. I open my eyes. Touch his sword with mine.

“That’s weak. Look I’m gonna knock your head off. React. Use power. Have a few practise swings.”

Bash. Bash. Bash. I smack out at Danny’s sword. After a few rounds without warning he pushes back, deflecting my blow. I end up toppling over my feet but manage to keep from falling over. My sword is in the sand.

“How can you stick a sword through a Thunder’s back but can’t spar against me when you know I’m no threat to you?”

“’Cause he’s too nice.” Geordie leaves Charlie on his back in the dirt and approaches us. Picks up my sword. Shoves it into my hands. “Hold him for me.”

“Do you think that’s such a good idea?”

“Do it.”

Danny does. Clutches a fistful of my shirt from behind. I shriek as Geordie aims a blow at me. I can’t run away without lashing out at Danny to make him let me loose. I’m sure Geordie wouldn’t actually hit me. “Ouch!” He does. Whacks my arm. Hurts. Whack. Whack. Whack.

“Stop being pathetic and block me.”

Whack. Whack. Whack.

I vice grip my sword. Try to move. My muscles stiffen as though frozen over. Everyone’s watching. My arm won’t move to get out the way of the next blow.

“Let him go. See what he does.”

As soon as Danny lets me loose I tell myself to run but my feet refuse. The shakes set in as most of class start up laughing. At least I’ve started moving. End up knelt on the floor having a full scale panic attack. Chest gets super tight. Shaking shake shaking. The last time this happened was lunch time at Kensington Palace. I ended up trying to retreat under a table while taunts roared in my ears.

“What the hell?”

“I knew this was a bad idea.” Danny crouches next to me. “He didn’t mean it. Was just trying to get you to react.”

“...know,” I manage in-between gasps of breath.

“Then why are you shaking?”

My eyes water over in embarrassment. “... Suffer...panic... atta---c---ks.” Not happening. Not happening. Not happening. Now they’ve seen me have an episode there’s no chance they’ll even consider wanting to be friends.

“No worries.” Danny rubs my shoulder. “Do they last long?”

I can’t answer because my breaths are too tight.

“Keep breathing yeah. Real slow. Get a rhythm going.”

Get a rhythm going. I try but everyone’s watching, and, and, the shakes won’t stop so I can’t concentrate on breathing not while being watched and laughed at. My breaths get real raspy. Hurts to get them out.

“What you lot staring at?” yells Geordie which has everyone look away because he sounds ever so fierce.

With no one watching I’m able to get some control of my breathing. The shakes settle, and my panic ebbs off. Having Danny sat with me helps a lot. Usually takes me a lot longer to gain control. My chest feels normal. Breathing is natural. Panic attack over.

“Sorry for making you look bad.” I can’t bring myself to look at Geordie; he must be super embarrassed of me.

“You didn’t make me, yourself, or Danny look bad. They made themselves look real nasty laughing.” Geordie holds a hand out to me.

Shock waves judder through me as I’m pulled up. They don’t think I’m an embarrassment. Aren’t trying to get rid of me. Are helping. No one’s ever stuck up for me against other kids teasing before.

I watch Danny and Geordie duel with each other. Take some notes. Well I say notes they turn into sketches. I sketch Danny in defence mode while Geordie charges on, forcing a way through. Not my best work because it’s rushed. When they’re done I shove my sketch book in my satchel and Danny shows me the defence moves he’s been using. I kind of manage to copy them.

“Ya ain’t too shabby without a blade coming at ya.” I think Geordie’s trying to make me feel better. He’s no need because I’m fine.

As Master Hugo calls time, Geordie hooks an arm round Danny’s shoulders and grabs me in the same manner. This is new. “Here’s what’s gonna happen at lunch. Danny fetch us some food. Corey we’ll head straight to the griffon paddock.”

“An hour early?”

“I wanna show ya summat.”

“Bad idea,” warns Danny.

“It’ll only take a few minutes. No one will notice.”

“What will only take a few minutes?” I ask.

They don’t tell me. Danny joins the rest of class. Gets talking to Charlie on the way to the refectory. I stay with Geordie on higher ground. Go with him away from the arena. We venture through a thicket of half alive trees. On the other side of them is a griffon paddock where retired griffons who no longer have riders come to live out the remainder of their lives. These ones are too old for field work so let Master Zel use them in her flight classes. I’m almost as tragic at flying as I am at fighting. In fact, I’ve yet to leave the ground. The most I do is gallop round screaming and eventually fall off.

I lean into the paddock fence watching several griffons sleeping and a few walking round stretching their wings. One griffon I’ve never seen before is on the outside of the fence. Wow, he’s blazing bright red, with a darker red beak, and talons. He struts round tossing his head. Intelligent amber eyes watch Geordie.

“Hotaru.” Geordie stares back at the griffon, keeping eye contact. “He keeps showing up in the grounds. I think he wants a rider this year. He showed up two years ago but didn’t choose anyone. I hope he wants me. I’d have him if it were my choice.”

“What does a griffon tend to look for in a rider?”

“Combat skills, the confidence to fly, oh and personality. Griffons are known for choosing riders with similar personality traits to their own.”

A dark brown griffon from in the paddock comes right over to us. Butts her head softly against Geordie’s hand.

“Aww cute. Bramble likes you.”

“I wish I could take Hotaru for a ride.” Geordie vacantly strokes Bramble as he watches Hotaru gallop away and take off into the sky. “Oh well Bramble here will have to do.” Geordie jumps the fence and climbs onto Bramble’s back. “Hop on. I wanna show ya the sky.”

I tilt my head back. “I can see the sky very well from here thank you.”

“Ya think ya can see the sky. Come on it’ll be fun.”

I have a feeling we’re not supposed to fly these practise griffons without permission or supervision. Even still I go through the gate into the paddock and get on Bramble, behind Geordie.

“Hold on.” As Geordie speaks I wrap my arms round his waist. Tighten my grip as Bramble jumps the fence. I lean my head into Geordie’s shoulder as Bramble canters, picking up speed, then when she’s at the peak of her speed wings flap, she springs, and we’re leaving the ground.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” We’re airborne. I squeeze Geordie ever so hard.

“When I said hold on I didn’t mean squeeze the life outta me.”

I try to relax. We’re getting so high. Have to close my eyes as we venture towards the clouds, scared if I look down I’ll be sick. Mist hits my face. We must be in the grey clouds. Cold. Cold. Cold. Can’t look. We keep going up.

“I hope ya ain’t got your eyes closed,” says Geordie as the last of the misty vapour fades from my cheeks.

Cautiously I open one eye. Whoa blue! At least I think I’m seeing blue. The brightest blue ever. My arms leave Geordie’s waist as my hands lean into his shoulder blade while I marvel at a dazzling blue I wish I could bottle up as paint for my pictures.

“Behold what the sky really looks like.” With one arm Geordie gestures all round us. “Sorry I ya know scared ya earlier.”

“You didn’t scare me. I could never be afraid of you silly.”

“But I triggered your panic attack.”

Ooo a generous streak. I likes. “I think I had a panic attack because everyone was staring at me then they started laughing which made me worse. No need to feel guilty ’kay?”

“Let me get this straight ya weren’t even a little bit scared when I came at ya with a sword?” He sounds surprised.

I laugh, and whoa there’s a huge yellow orb up here or maybe it’s a form of orange or both yellows and oranges clashing together. “Is that the sun?”

“Yeah. Hey, don’t go looking directly at it or ya might be blinded.” Geordie grabs my arm, pulls me upright, seen as I’ve leant real far right to get a decent view of a flock of unfamiliar birds flying by. “Careful. If ya fall off, old Bramble won’t be fast enough to catch ya.”

“Can we go higher?” I give Geordie’s shoulder an enthusiastic shake. “Higher please!” Yay Geordie urges Bramble to fly several feet higher; right up past the flock of birds. I span out my arms. “This is amazing!” End up falling into Geordie’s back.

“What ya doing back there?”

“I can totes see why you wanna be a field agent. If I was brave like you I’d want to be out on the field too.”

“If I get Hotaru I’ll take ya for a ride. How’s that?”

“Really? Cools! Lots of rides?”

“Maybe. Depends.”

“On what?”

“How annoying ya turn out to be.”

Ooo meaning he’s unsure if I’m only a little annoying or lots. In any case sounds like he wants to be friends. Oh no we’re descending towards the clouds. I want to stay up here all day. Even the trainees who are skilled fliers aren’t allowed above the Cloud Barrier without Master Zel. When we’re within the clouds I grab round Geordie’s waist. It’s horrid in here. Can’t see a thing save thick grey surrounding us so we’re invisible to each other. I kind of scream as we touch down and gallop over to the paddock where Danny’s waiting with our lunch.

As Bramble slows to more of a trot I jump down and almost fall onto Danny. “Is this for me?” I swipe a sandwich. “Thank you!” I take a huge bite of sandwich; swallow without hardly chewing. “Yummy!”

“What have you two been smoking up there?”

“Nothing.” Geordie joins us. “He’s...”

I sit up real straight with an over animated smile waiting expectantly for the rest of his sentence.

“...weird.”

I cross my eyes. “We already knew that. Where in Lundune are you two from?”

“Hackney,” says Danny.

“But you both sound so different.”

Geordie chews at his sandwich. Talks with his mouth full. “’Cause I’m from slap bang central Hackney and he’s from the outskirts. I’m surprised we didn’t see ya about with the Black Market being underneath Hackney.”

“You do stick out,” adds Danny.

“Thank you!” I straighten out a wrinkle in my sleeve. “Do you think blue suits me? I like white, silver, YELLOW but never really experimented with blue.”

“Does it matter?” asks Geordie.

“If I have to live with blue yes it matters a lot.” I roll my sleeve to the elbow. “I was thinking of bringing the sleeves up to make this shirt more stylish. What do you think?”

Geordie shakes his head and puts his attention into eating his sandwich while Danny sips from a canteen. Fashion certainly isn’t something they care about. I suppose when training to work at Cloud Association what you look like must be of minor significance. Fashion aside it is great to be sat with two people who are acting as though we’re friends. Have I made new friends? I think I might have and I’m smiling without having to tell myself to.