SWNOVELS Pretty Boy D: Chapter 40
Dane
“She’s gone,” I growl. “She left and took the fucking plane ticket with her.”
I’m aware of how insane I look, how unhinged I sound, but trust me—the hurricane raging on the inside definitely matches the outward chaos.
Blue steps aside and I storm into the foyer. “Slow down. Who’s gone? Joss? And what plane ticket?”
I can’t even answer, feeling like I’ll drown in the thoughts that fly at me if I open my mouth to speak.
“Did you two get into a fight?”
“She’d have to be speaking to me for that to happen,” I seethe. “You haven’t heard from her? She hasn’t tried to call or text?”
Blue shakes her head. “No, the last time we spoke was at the diner last night.”
Just fucking great.
“Hang on,” she says. “Just… wait here. I’ll go grab West.”
I pace across the marble tile while she races out to the patio, and all I can think about are the many ways I could’ve handled this differently. Should have handled this differently. All of which would result in Joss still being here, instead of on a plane flying halfway across the world tonight.
Shit. I can’t believe she left.
“What happened?”
I turn to the sound of West’s voice as he dries his hair with a towel. His damp swim trunks and the scent of chlorine make it clear why I didn’t get an answer when I tried calling on my way over.
“I drove around most of the day, trying to get my thoughts together. Then, when I went home to see if she was ready to talk, she’d taken off. Took the ticket her dad bought her, too.”
I feel that swell of rage on the inside again, but exhale to quench it.
“Ok, calm down. We’ll find her,” West says, but I’m not buying it. He didn’t see the flash of panic on Joss’s face last night.
She was already so afraid to give us a try, so afraid we’d turn out like her parents, then… that fucking condom broke. The Joss I know retreats when she’s scared, and that’s what this feels like—her retreating, running from me because it’s easier than facing me. Easier than facing what happened last night.
My phone rings and I scramble to pull it from my pocket. Seeing it’s only Sterling returning my call, my heart sinks a little.
“Everything cool? Looks like I missed about ten calls from—”
“Have you seen or heard from Joss?” I cut in, skipping a greeting altogether.
“No. Why? Should I have?”
“Shit.”
“What the fuck happened?”
“Just come to Bellvue,” I answer, hanging up right after.
“He hasn’t heard anything either?” Blue asks, unable to hide the traces of panic in her tone.
“No. I’m guessing she wanted to make a clean break, get out of here before any of us could talk her out of it.”
I go back to pacing because it’s the only thing I can do to keep from going off the deep end.
Of all the ways for this to have gone, this definitely wasn’t how I imagined it. Last night was a first for me. I’d never told any girl I love her, and the moment I let my guard down, shit blows up in my face.
“I’ll get dressed while we wait for Sterling, then we can hit up some of the places she could’ve gone,” is West’s suggestion.
I don’t respond, already thinking the worst.
“You don’t know that she left, man. We could still find her,” he adds.
I hear him but that doesn’t set my mind at ease. Problem is, we don’t know that she didn’t leave.
He heads upstairs and I force myself to lean against the wall, force myself to breathe.
“I’ll call around and see if I can find what hotel her dad’s staying in. Maybe she went to see him,” Blue says, turning to go toward the kitchen, already scrolling through her phone.
I hear Sterling’s engine outside and exhale, trying to think positively. Failing to think positively. My nerves are fried, so within a few seconds, I’m back to pacing, worrying. I envision us racing through the city’s streets half the night and still coming up empty. I know one thing, though, that won’t stop me from trying. I’d move heaven and Earth for that girl. And if she did get on a plane tonight, I’ve already made up my mind that tracking her down is my next move. Hence the reason I reach for my phone and get started looking up flights to Haiti.
No matter how far she goes, no matter how pissed or scared she is, I meant what I said—she’s mine.
That means through the good and the bad, whether she’s right or wrong, I’ll never let her go.
Sterling knocks and I rush to the door, pulling it open, ready to repeat the same information I’d just given West and Blue, but…
The wind is knocked out of me when my eyes land on a face that isn’t my brother’s. Before I can even form words, I grab Joss tight, squeezing as the fear I felt over losing her begins to fade.
“I thought you fucking left.” I breathe into her hair as she clings to me, pressing her palms to my back.
“What? Why would I leave?” she asks with an emotion-laden laugh.
“You wouldn’t talk last night, then when I got back to the loft you were gone, the ticket was gone, I just… it doesn’t fucking matter.”
My arms tighten around her when I give up trying to explain.
“I’m sorry about last night,” she says against my ear. “I freaked out and just needed to process and… I’m sorry,” she repeats.
“You don’t have to apologize. I’m just glad you’re here.”
She nods and my eyes fall closed.
“Oh, thank God. You’re okay,” Blue says with a sigh of relief when she returns to the foyer.
I finally release Joss from my arms, but she clings to my hand. “I didn’t mean to scare anyone. There was just something I needed to take care of.”
“Listen, as long as you’re fine, you don’t need to explain,” Blue adds, rubbing Joss’ shoulder.
“Pandora said Dane was spotted racing to Bellvue, then that Sterling was seen doing the same, so I came straight over.”
Our gazes lock when she says that, because I know for a fact that Pandora hasn’t posted in over an hour. I know because I’ve been obsessively checking and refreshing, hoping to find some clue as to where Joss had gone.
“Mind if we talk?” she asks.
I nod and Blue points us toward the patio, so Joss and I head there. She drops down onto a lounger while I close the door behind us, and then join her near the pool.
Her dark stare pans the surface of the water while she thinks, and I feel her sadness without her having said a word yet.
“We’ve got so many memories out here—midnight swims that turned into sleepovers, parties, afterparties,” she adds with a quiet laugh. “We’ve been at this friendship thing a long time.”
I nod, agreeing. “We have, and I think I even knew back then that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
She swipes a tear from her cheek, and it takes everything in me not to hold her again, crowd her.
“I went to see my dad. That’s why the ticket was gone,” she reveals. “I gave it back and let him know I won’t be using it. Now or ever.”
Hearing those words is all my heart needed to settle down completely. Her eyes meet mine and I don’t miss the unshed tears there.
“You’re okay?”
Sniffling, she nods. “I am now,” she says. “Got a message this evening. From Pandora, of all people. She sent several messages, actually. The last of which is how I knew to find you here.”
She swipes at the tears but seems more self-assured than sad. Like she’s found new strength through whatever happened tonight while we were apart.
“So… what did the messages say?”
Joss breathes deep, her skin glowing with the turquoise light that shines up from the pool.
“It wasn’t so much what she said, but what she showed me.”
I wait while she takes her phone from her pocket, then scrolls, turning the screen toward me when she finds what she searched for. I’m not entirely sure what I’m looking at.
“It’s you, right? An old pic?”
She laughs, but it never quite reaches her eyes. “Look again.”
I take the phone this time, examining it more closely. It’s a girl with skin the same shade of warm brown as Joss, the same dark ringlets, the same dark eyes, but… there are slight differences. The point of her chin, the shape of her brow, a tiny mole above her lip.
My gaze narrows as I continue to study the pic, trying to make sense of what I’m seeing.
“Her name’s Peyton, she’s almost fifteen, and… she’s my half-sister.”
I lower the phone to stare at Joss.
“That’s the exact look I had on my face when Pandora first reached out,” she says. “This was sent to her a little after noon, then she sent it to me. Not sure if she was on the fence about making it public, but I guess she decided against that.”
“Shit, I—I’m not even sure what to say. Did your dad know before tonight?”
She sighs when I ask.
“He did and, while that fact is super fucked up all on its own, it’s not the worst part. He got a threat last month, from someone who knew he and Mom had left the country and that I stayed behind. They said they’d expose his secret if he didn’t convince me to leave the city, too. Apparently, he had until summer’s end to get the job done. So, there was no business he needed to handle here. Only this, getting me to leave to protect himself.”
I don’t miss that the solemn undertone of her voice intensifies with this realization. She’s hurt, and rightly so.
“I suppose it makes sense that he was so different, so much kinder than usual. He thought he could manipulate me into following him. But the jokes on him, I guess. Whoever’s blackmailing him clearly decided to pull the trigger early. He likely pissed them off somehow.”
Or… I pissed them off somehow.
My head spins as pieces begin to fall into place. I hate that I’m thinking what I’m thinking, but… there’s someone who fits the bill. Someone with motive, someone who’s made threats, someone who would’ve been inspired to pull the proverbial trigger today.
Around noon…
I hold on to that thought, keeping it to myself for now. I’ll confirm my suspicion soon enough. But right now, Joss is here and she needs me, so I focus on that.
“You’re really okay, though?”
Her shoulders lift with a shrug and she breathes deep. “Mostly. I just told him I need space for a while, because I didn’t have the energy to argue since I didn’t exactly sleep well last night.”
My gaze follows hers out to the water and I don’t have to wonder why she tossed and turned. Mostly, because I did the same until the sun came up.
“I fucking suck,” she says with a small laugh. “We should’ve talked shit out last night, but I ran. I ran and—”
“You were scared.”
“Yeah, but I’m sure you were, too. We should’ve been scared together,” she says, turning to face me again. “I wasn’t mad at you and I didn’t blame you, so I hope you didn’t think that. My mind just went right to my parents and that this is almost exactly how their story played out and… I don’t know. I just freaked.”
Her palm is warm in mine when I take it.
“I understand but you’re here and that’s all I fucking care about.”
She searches my eyes, only finding sincerity there. A faint smile touches her lips, then she leans on my shoulder.
“There’s something I need to tell you and I’m scared shitless to say it, because I’m not sure what you’ll think or say, but I—”
“Joss, it’s me. You can tell me anything. You know that. Nothing’s changed.”
She doesn’t lift her head from my shoulder, but even without seeing her eyes, I know it’s all coming back to her, memories of all the shit we’ve faced together, secrets only the two of us know. She has nothing to be afraid of with me, in our friendship, in this relationship. I have her no matter what.
“I… didn’t take the pill,” she admits. “I don’t really have an excuse, other than my personal convictions based on my mom’s decision to have me, but… I didn’t take it,” she repeats.
I breathe deep and being honest, I wasn’t expecting that. When it takes me a bit to respond, she peers up with worry in her eyes. Twice as much as before.
“You’re pissed.”
“No, not at all,” I answer. “I didn’t buy it to force you or anything. I got it so you’d have the option, and so you wouldn’t have to risk Pandora getting wind of you buying it yourself.”
When that last part leaves my mouth—considering the picture she shared with Joss in private—I’m not completely sure she doesn’t already know about this situation, too. She definitely does her share of shit-stirring, but when it comes down to it, she’s had our backs on the big things.
“Whatever happens, we’re in this together. You and me.”
There’s no way Joss can question whether or not I mean those words. What I feel for this girl is so powerful, she has to feel it, too.
“I love you,” I say, leaning to kiss her once. “So fucking much.”
“I love you, too. Always have,” she admits, warming the sides of my face with her hands.
Our future could look drastically different than either of us expected, but… at the end of the day, we’ve got one hell of a solid foundation. One built on friendship and fortified with love.
Come what may, we’re in this together.
“I need a favor. I need you to promise me you won’t leave while I make a quick run.”
Joss seems suspicious when I release her and stand.
“Ok, but where are you going?”
“There’s just something I need to take care of. Tell you all about it when I get back.”
She nods and, with that, I rush toward my car.
The one who did this, tried to hurt Joss with that post, they’re about to feel my fucking wrath.