Pregnant And Rejected By My Alpha Mate: Part 1

Bastien’s POV

The first thing I see is the fear on Selene’s face. Fear I hate myself for causing. She’s backed into a corner, appearing so much more like the lost little wolf I pulled from a tree, than the confident woman I met today.

It takes all my strength to pull my eyes from Selene’s haunted expression and survey the rest of the scene, at which point I realize why she’s in the corner. The tiny body is visible even now, with pint-sized hands clutching her skirt and a gleaming pair of two-toned eyes peeking out from behind her leg.

Mate, Axel croons with satisfaction. And mate’s pup. Mine, both mine.

We don’t know who that pup belongs to yet. I caution him, though I cannot help but feel drawn to the tiny creature in a way I can’t explain.

I don’t care who she belonged to. He growls. I saw her. I like her. She’s mine now.

That’s not how it works. I admonish him.

Unable to assuage her curiosity, the little girl pokes her head out of hiding, and Selene stiffens reflexively. Waving off my men, I stride forward and close the door, carefully approaching the she-wolves. “Hello little one.” I murmur to the child, kneeling down so that we’re at eye level, even if I’m still halfway across the room. “Goddess she looks exactly like you.” I revel, looking back and forth between the beautiful faces.

I’ve seen many pups and kissed many babies in my life, but I cannot remember ever seeing such a perfect child. It’s not just that she is my mate’s creation – that she is the heart and soul of the woman I adore – it’s that she is pure light, pure love. Despite my misgivings, I have to agree with Axel. Mine.

A tiny voice tugs at my heart strings. “Mommy who’s that?”

The gooey warmth in my belly hardens like a rock, and the reality of our situation splashes over me like a bucket of ice water. If this child is mine, Selene hid her existence from me for years. She left Elysium knowing she was pregnant, and took my baby someplace where I could not protect her.

“That’s an excellent question.” I state harshly, catching my mate in my crosshairs. “Selene?” Slowly unfolding until I’m standing again, I move forward. “Who am I to her?”

“A stranger,” Selene designates coldly, “and what do we say to strangers, Lila?”

On cue the tiny pup lifts her chubby fingers to her lips and pulls an imaginary zipper across her mouth, pressing her lips tightly together and shaking her head once she’s finished.

“That’s very smart.” I praise in a much softer voice than I directed at her mother. “You should never talk to strangers, but that’s not what I am.” Little by little, the tot is emerging from behind her mother. Interesting – most children are afraid of me at first. “I’m your mommy’s mate. Do you know what that word means?”

Lila shakes her head, still clutching Selene’s skirt.

“It means we’re meant to be together.” I say this to Selene alone.  “And whatever she cares about, I care about too.”

Outrage flashes across Selene’s features. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Do you want me to lie to her?” I demand.

“You have no right to put those kinds of ideas in her head!” She hisses, flames dancing in her incredible eyes.

I can’t recall ever feeling such rage, not towards my little wolf. With every second that passes, the more certain I am that this is my child, which means I have every right. I arch a brow at Selene. “How old are you Lila?”

My mate’s hand whips out and closes over the child’s before she can lift her fingers to answer my question with a patented “this many”. Instead Selene scowls, her plump lip curling “She’s not yours.”

“Then whose is she?” I interrogate.

“Mine.” Selene snarls, her wolf glowing in her eyes. Goddess she’s stunning when she’s angry.

“Oh, you made her all by yourself?” I goad.

“Look at her.” Selene invites, “do you see yourself in her? Do you see even the tiniest resemblance?”

That was all the invitation I needed. I bend down and scoop up the sweet little girl before Selene can stop me. “Come here, pup.” I rumble gently. “let’s have a look at you.”

Lila looks a bit shell-shocked for a moment, as if she wasn’t prepared to leave the ground and can’t quite wrap her head around her new predicament. Nonetheless, her surprise disappears quickly, replaced by unapologetic curiosity. She looks up at me with wide eyes, studying my face intently and then reaching out to feel the scruff on my cheek.

I know instantly that I’m a goner, if this little creature asked me for the moon I would try to steal it for her, no matter how impossible. Shaking my head, settling Lila more comfortably in my arms and internally swooning when she instantly rests her cheek on my shoulder. “I can’t see anyone else in her either.” I finally answer Selene’s question, unable to disguise the reverence in my deep voice, “She’s all you.”

Selene looks lost herself now, her attention swinging back and forth between my face and Lila’s, clearly unsure of what to do.

Lila makes the decision for her, lifting her head and staring at the floor far below before looking back to me, as if for confirmation. “T’s high.”

“Mmm.” I hum sympathetically. If she’s used to being carried around by my mate, this probably seems very high indeed. ”Too high?”

Her serious expression transforms to one of pure excitement. “No, want to go higher!”

“You want to go higher?” I consider her words for a moment before agreeing, “Well I think that can be arranged.”

As long as I live, I will never hear a more beautiful sound than this child squealing and giggling with joy as I toss her over my head, catching her and repeating the move until she’s so exhausted from laughing that we have to find a new game.

__________________________

Selene’s POV

Where did it all go wrong? I lament, thoroughly indulging in a fit of self-pity as I watch my daughter riding around on the back of a huge black wolf like he’s a pony. Bastien gallops around the room, indulging Lila’s every whim. It started with “the flying game”, as it’s now known, and somehow evolved and unraveled into playful chaos: wolf-back rides, play-wrestling, even a game of fetch.

That’s right, the big bad Alpha of Pack Nova ran after a ball like a common dog and proudly returned it to my three year old, licking her face until she squealed and collapsed beneath the onslaught.

Of all the outcomes I considered when I pictured this moment, this is the very last thing I ever imagined. I was ready for the anger, for yelling and drawn out fights, but no amount of preparation could ever make me ready for this: for watching Lila play with her father for the first time in her life.

When the tears begin to fall I sneak away to the bathroom, thankfully unnoticed amidst the raucous play. When I first got pregnant this was exactly the kind of scene I dreamed about. Before the rejection, before Arabella and everything else, this was my fantasy.

I could curse the Goddess for doing this to me, for giving me these dreams and then snatching them away; showing me these glimpses of bliss that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I want so badly to believe our lives could actually be like this, but I know the truth all too well.

I have to stay strong, I have to keep fighting.

When I emerge, Lila has finally exhausted herself and is lying on top of wolf Bastien as if he’s a giant pillow. Honestly it’s an impulse I understand – how many times did he shift to comfort me through thunderstorms, when he knew the feel of a male body would only make the flashbacks worse?

When he sees me return to the living room Bastien shifts back, passing Lila to me so he can get dressed.

“She’s really not mine?” He asks, buttoning his shirt.

“No.” I confirm icily. “She’s not yours.”

Liar. Luna hisses in my ear.

“Did you think I would harm her?” Bastien wonders aloud. “Is that why you came here? You thought I’d harm my mate’s pup because it was sired by another wolf?”

Confusion and hurt burst out of my mouth like anger. “Why do you keep saying that?”

“Saying what?” He questions, seeming truly bewildered.

“That we’re mates.” I exclaim. “Not once in our entire marriage did you call me that.”

Let me out. Luna pleads nonsensically, I can’t take this any longer, I need him.

The Alpha looks at me incredulously. “It was the first word out of my mouth when I saw you, Selene.”  His voice is like gravel. “I’ve known from day one, you’re the one who couldn’t feel it.”

“Stop it! You don’t get to rewrite history this way.” Lila stirs in my arms, and I carefully transport her to the bed, setting her among the plush blankets and returning to Bastien with a furious whisper. “I was there, remember? I was hopelessly, desperately in love with you for years and you merely put up with me. Do you have any idea what that felt like, to be nothing but an obligation, a weight around your neck holding you back from everything you really wanted?”

You have to let me out! Luna begs again.

Bastien’s sharp eyes bore into me, even as my own burn with tears. “Selene, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know! I–” A sharp stabbing pain in my middle bends me double, forcing a hoarse cry from my lips.

Luna!

I can’t help it. She moans apologetically, he’s calling me, I don’t have a choice.

Strong hands are on me instantly. “Selene?”

“Something’s wrong.” I gasp. “I feel… my wolf is… it’s like she’s trying to force her way out of me?”

Emotions race across his countenance, before understanding clicks, “Have you never shifted before?”

“No– I didn’t think I could.” I groan.

“Well get ready little wolf,” Bastien’s low bass breaks through my panicked thoughts, “because you’re about to.”