SWNOVELS Chapter Eleven: Going on with Life
After the meal, Sally and her brother Jason retired into the Library.
'Tell me how this happened', she said with the belief that talking about it would go a long way to helping to reduce the hurt Jason was feeling and he would be able to face his demons head - on rather than trying to escape them through drink.
'Actually, I do not know exactly how it started. All I know is that all of a sudden, Rebecca started acting wierd.
It must have been my fault for pampering her too much and trusting the both of them so much. Much more than I trusted myself.
I would come back home suddenly to pick one confidential file or the other that I had forgotten and I'd meet them chatting and dinning in the house but because he was my best friend and the best man at our wedding and most of all because of the love I had Rebecca and the trust I had for both of them, I didn't see anything wrong with that.
Once I asked him what he was doing in my house at that time, you know just out of curiosity because I felt that he should be at work, afterall, I pulled strings to ensure he was accepted at the firm he was working but he answered that he was not expected at the office until noon and had come to see if I'd be at home but since I wasn't, he decided to stay and keep Rebecca company before going back home to prepare for work.
After that time, I never asked him anymore. I gave them both freedom not imagining that they were having an affair behind by back. Oh God! What a fool I had been. They must have laughed me to scorn' he said, his voice breaking.
Sally touched his hands to give him comfort.
'Rebecca who would initiate intimacy between us most times and even if I initiated it,' he continued, 'would respond like a wild cat started avoiding any intimacy between us. I should have seen the handwriting on the wall but I ignored all the signs. Those were supposed to be signs of infidelity but I never once thought towards that. And why would I, I made sure she never lacked for anything. She was always changing her wardrobe with the most expensive and trending cloths from Paris and London.
Her account was never depleted.
She had everything she wanted, money, attention, good life, love, everything. What more could a woman ask for?'
Sally shook her head still saying nothing and keeping her expression bland. She wanted him to vent it all off so that he would feel relieved after emptying the venom that was eating him up and causing him to resort to drinking.
'But in her letter', he said, 'she let me know that those were just the reason she married me but that she had now found love not with any other person but with my best friend. How could love be so cruel? Dr. Manuel told me that I should count myself lucky thelat she did not do away with me to get the money for herself and her lover or that she didn't start two timing me. He said it was better thins way and that if I could get her off my mind, someone else was bound to occupy it in next to no time and he was sure that the person was going to be a better person than Rebecca ever was.
But the problem is, how do I get over Rebecca? I have loved her all my life with my whole being. I could never love another the way I loved her.
Could it be because we hadn't had a child? Maybe, if a child had been involved, she would never have acted this way', he said looking miserably at Sally.
Once again, Sally felt so furious with Rebecca and Terry. Their duplicity was appalling.
She was sure that Rebecca had always planned this. She hadn't wanted to be tied down by having a baby. A baby would have spoilt her lovely shape and bound her irrevocably to Jason and what she had actually wanted was just the security marriage to Jason gave her and his wealth that would endure that she never had any want in her life.
She was sure that she had made away with a lot of things her brother was not aware of yet because in his stupor he had not bothered to find out.
That was secondary though. The most important thing was to make sure he was up and about and stop wallowing in self pity.
'Stop blaming yourself or torturing yourself with what would or wouldn't have been. What has happened has happened and there is no denying that it was really heartless of them to do that to anyone at all, let alone, someone like you. But I believe in picking the pieces and going on with life because no matter how we may wish otherwise or think it won't, life continues.
There is no use wasti g the rest of your life in regrets and recriminations. You may not think do now, but she is not worth it. She is not worth you destroying yourself for her. She has gone ahead with her life and so should you.
I do not want to say 'I told you so', but I did make my disapproval of her known to you but when you insisted, I felt that if marrying her would make you happy, then it was worth it but she has outdone herself this time by breaking your heart and I shall make her pay for it but you will show her that you are less a man if you appear broken and diminished by drink. You have to take a hold of yourself. Because more is yet to come.
I do not think that you would like it if people called you a coward, cowing in his wardrobe since his wife left him because he is not man enough to face the world. He must have something he is hiding. If he is this much of a coward, then little wonder the wife choose to elope with a better man.
Stand as a man. Try to get over her, your hurt and their betrayal. They are not worth your tears or suffering. You are doing a grave injustice to yourself after that which the both of them have already done you. Take charge of your business once more. If staying idle would cause you to be depressed, throw yourself into your job. Work like you have never worked before just don't give depression and self pity the time o day anymore. It is just a waste of time and energy.
Go to the gym. Make new friends. Have new girlfriends. Have sex. Do anything that would do divert you, keep you creatively occupied and still be healthy for you. Not drink! It is harmful to your health and you just might end up destroying all you had laboured to build and that would not bring her back and even if she did come back, you already know that it would not be because of love bit to destroy you completely. To continue her destruction from where she stopped. So be wise'.