Practice Makes Perfect: A Novel

Last night, Rome citizens were treated to quite the adventure as Sheriff Tony was dispatched in the dead of night to investigate a break-in at Will Griffin and Annie Walker’s residence. The two have reportedly been absent from Rome, Kentucky, for two weeks while in Paris on vacation, and were not expected home until the following day.

Around two a.m., Bud Appleton (neighbor) noticed two persons, one male and one female, attempting to break into the Griffin-Walker house through a side window. Sheriff Tony, upon arriving at the scene, charged the six-foot-one tattooed male and wrestled him to the ground. Having been alerted to the arrival of Sheriff Tony because of the obnoxiously loud sirens and bright lights from his police vehicle, onlookers flocked to the scene in order to get a better look.

Bud Appleton commented, “Was unlike anything I’ve ever seen before! Such commotion. Sheriff charged the man and took him down swift enough, but poor ole Tony was immediately flipped on his stomach and his hands were restrained behind his back.”

Witnesses report the dangerous burglar then released Sheriff Tony in a remarkable display of compassion when Tony yelled, “Okay, okay, I give up! Let go.”

When interviewed later, the male burglar commented, “It’s my own damn house, Terry. Why do you keep referring to me as a burglar? You know me and Annie; and we’ve had a long day of travel, and we lost our house key and just want to go inside and go to bed. Please leave.”

In an exciting turn of events, it seemed the late-night bandits were none other than the residents of the home: Will Griffin and Annie Walker, who have happily owned the home together for the past year.

Although Mr. Griffin was less obliged to talk, Ms. Walker, in her usual kind manner, remained outside to answer several of this reporter’s questions. “Our trip to Paris? Oh, Terry, it was incredible! I brought you back a little Eiffel Tower like you requested. It was so romantic and everything I hoped it would be, but I’m eager to get back to the flower shop and finish our renovations on the house. We only have the porch left.”

Unfortunately, our interview was abruptly cut short as Mr. Griffin stormed back outside, seized Ms. Walker, and carried her over his shoulder inside the home, shutting the door and all onlookers out, thus ending another eventful day in Rome, Kentucky.

This one is for the softies.

The tenderhearted sweeties.

The introverts who are afraid to shine.