Powerless (The Powerless Trilogy)

She flicked my nose. I never knew a heart could feel so much, could be so affected by the flick of a finger.

“I guess you’ll have to kiss me to find out.”

Oh, and I plan on doing just that.

I’ve barely been able to hold myself back from wanting to hold her.

She’s so beautiful I can hardly believe it, hardly breathe. Her soul is stunning. Her very being is bright and bold and so unbelievably better than I am. She is a good beyond my grasp, one that I am not worthy of glimpsing let alone grabbing hold of.

And yet, here she is despite that. Choosing me.

It’s a privilege to look into those eyes, to drown in the essence that is her.

Because everything about her is too right and everything about me is too wrong. But I’m selfish. I take what I want, and what I want might just want me for once.

My jacket is still slung over her shoulders, and the rain is rolling down her face, her hair, clinging to her long lashes and dripping makeup. Beads of water join the light freckles dusting her nose, all twenty-eight of them. The steady stream of rain is slapping the cobblestone at our feet, soaking us to the bone.

“I’ll take my chances,” I murmur as my fingers catch her chin, tilting her face up towards mine. Her mouth is pulled into a soft smile that only draws my lips closer to hers.

She doesn’t pull away.

Perhaps the beast can earn the beauty after all.

Her eyes flutter shut against the rain still relentlessly falling on us, and I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed a more beautiful moment. “My pretty Pae, what have you done to me?” I murmur, my nose brushing hers.

Is this what it feels like to truly feel?

Closer.

The sparks between us are almost tangible, snaking their way up my body and shocking me.

Closer.

Our lips brush.

“Your Highness.”

I halt.

Then I sigh against her lips, making her shudder.

I pull back, barely, just enough to look between her eyes and the mouth I had every intention of lazily exploring.

I don’t even acknowledge the Imperial that dared to distract me from her. My eyes are pinned on Paedyn, my voice deceptively calm as I say, “I hope whatever you have to say is worth losing your tongue over for interrupting us.”

The see the Imperial shift on his feet out of the corner of my eye, equally uncomfortable and concerned. “Sir, um, you are, uh—”

Paedyn looks like she wants to stab him, and I’m considering letting her do just that. Still not deeming him worthy enough to look at, I speak towards Pae as I say to the Imperial, “Spit it out before I make you. Or before I let the lady do the honors.”

Her lips twitch and the action has me losing control, has me pulling her face towards mine, completely ignoring the gawking guard.

“It’s the king,” the Imperial blurts, no doubt knowing he won’t be able to get my attention again once my mouth has met hers. “It’s urgent.”

It was not, in fact, urgent.

And I am, in fact, seriously contemplating carving out that Imperial’s tongue because of it.

Even though I know he’s not to blame, I need to take my anger out on someone, and that can’t exactly be my father.

“I don’t need you to babysit me,” I sigh, not bothering to conceal my annoyance.

“Then stop acting like a child and maybe I’ll stop treating you like one.” Father’s gaze is piercing, pinning me to the spot. Memories of when I was a boy come flooding back, memories of those stern eyes watching as I endured test after test. Watching as he forced me to torture someone for the first time, forced me to fight him.

A cold laugh climbs up my throat only to be lost in the sound of music and chatter filling the ballroom. “This is bullshit.”

“No, it’s necessary.” His voice rises, causing guests to quickly turn in the other direction, avoiding the temperamental king. “What’s bullshit is that my people just watched their prince, their future Enforcer, race off the dance floor after a Slummer.” He spits the word like the taste of it disgusts him.

“How quickly you have forgotten that Slummers are also your people, Father. My people,” I fire back, fists clenched at my sides, so I don’t do something I’ll regret.

But I certainly don’t regret running after her.

He faces me fully, his chest rising and falling with anger, promising punishment. If I were about five years younger and five inches shorter, this look might have frightened me. But not anymore.

“I will not see you throw away your kingdom’s respect for a girl. For that girl,” he says, voice low and lethal. “I’ll find you a different pretty plaything who isn’t a Mundane if that’s what you need.”

Once again, I’m puzzling over his clear hatred for Paedyn, and her clear hatred for him. But, knowing he won’t answer that question, I ask instead, “So you sent one of my own Imperials to spy on me? To lie to his prince and say there is something urgent?” My voice drops, and I take a step towards him. “An innocent man will lose his tongue because of the order you gave him.”

“The fact that you don’t think this is urgent alarms me.” The king’s nostrils flare in a way I’ve come to associate with punishment to follow. “I thought I trained you better than this, boy. Perhaps you need some more lessons.” At that, he almost smiles. “Your duties are to these people, your kingdom. You belong in here, a part of this dance, where everyone can see you. See their future.” His lips curl into a sneer. “Not outside playing with your pretty new toy.”

I stare him down, my blood beginning to boil. “What do you think could possibly happen between you two, hmm?” Father’s laugh is cold as he continues, “Who knows, you might just have the pleasure of killing her in the next Trial.”

Something inside of me snaps.

Power surges through my veins as every ability in the room presses down on me, begging me to release one. When I’m angered like this, it’s harder to keep control, harder to suppress all the power thrumming inside of me. The king’s words echo in my head, mocking me, making me feel weak for letting my restraint slipping away.

“I thought I trained you better than this, boy. Perhaps you need some more lessons.”

A strong hand falls on my shoulder. “Easy, Brother,” Kitt mutters under his breath before stepping between father and me. His smile seems to ease the tension like it always does. This isn’t the first fight that he has broken up between us.

Kitt clasps his hands in front of him casually, as if he hadn’t just seen Father and I nearly ready to rip each other apart. “Sorry to interrupt. Father, you look like you could use a drink. And maybe a dance or two with Mother.”

The smile he gives him is the same one he’s been offering since we were children. The smile that cries out to be called worthy in the eyes of our father. The smile he plasters on, hoping to make the king proud of him. Hoping to live up to the high expectations and fit into the giant shoes he must fill.

He’s always craved the approval, the attention, from the king. Kitt loves to be loved, and even he feels a lack of that when it comes to our own father despite the far better relationship they have. So, he will do whatever it takes to earn it.

And I don’t fault him for it. Perhaps if I hadn’t grown up with a father who tortured me with training, I would love him enough to want him to love me back. But Kitt grew up with a different version of the king, one who instructed and taught with a table of paperwork stretched between them rather than a sharp blade. One who taught him the ways of a king rather than the ways of torture. One who molded Kitt into a man rather than a monster.

Kitt places an encouraging hand on Father’s arm, urging him towards the drinks and desserts. They both toss me one final glance, one of them kind and the other quite the opposite.

Fortunately, I’ve never been one to lust after love. Especially that of our fathers. I gave up on that the day his blade met my skin for the first time.

I scan the room for Paedyn, already knowing that I won’t find her. She’s likely been carted off to her chambers to retire early for the night, by order of the king. I almost laugh at his feeble attempts to keep me away from her.

If I can’t keep myself away, there is no way in hell he can.