Powerless (The Powerless Trilogy)

Thousands of eyes pin me to the uncomfortable seat I’ve been forced into. The Bowl is packed to the brim with buzzing Ilyans, all bubbling over with excitement. The last of the audience has filed into their seats high up in the benches of the stadium encircling us, now staring down into the Pit beneath them expectantly.

It’s been three days.

Three days since the final fight at the edge of the Whispers.

And there are only seven of us left.

I hear the stomping of impatient feet coming from the crowd around us, and my heart trips at the sound. Suddenly, I’m back in that clearing, the sound of thundering feet morphing into the pounding of drums, signaling the end of the Trial.

But no one stopped.

The drums meant nothing to us. We were all still at each other’s throats. If it weren’t for Andy’s help, Blair would have torn me limb from limb and scattered whatever remained of me across the field for the birds to feast on. But just because she didn’t kill me doesn’t mean she didn’t leave her mark on me. Several, actually. Marks and mangled flesh that the Healers had a hell of a time mending back together.

It was as if none of us saw the risen sun or heard the drums sound. We were ravenous, refusing to simply lay down our weapons and surrender to each other. The Flashes made it to us first, weaving around and between us. Then the Brawnies arrived, using force to pull us away from one another. I was rudely ripped off Blair after finally managing to pin her down and was thrown over the shoulder of a burly man before being carried through the gawking crowd. But I wasn’t the only one. The opponents around me were all being hauled away and shoved into separate coaches to cool down.

It wasn’t hard to figure out why the king wanted to break up the fight and cut us off before we could do any more damage. Since it is forbidden to fight another contestant outside of a Trial, keeping our anger stifled will only ensure that the rest of the Trials will be even more interesting. Even more bloody.

I’m suddenly sucked back to reality, remembering the stiff chair I’m sitting in, the stiff dress clinging to my body, and the equally stiff contestants beside me. I shift in my seat, my arm brushing against the hard one that belongs to the prince I haven’t spoken to in days.

I run a hand under my rib where I can almost feel the jagged scar given to me by the same boy who was almost the cause of Jax’s death. I sneak a glance at Kai beside me, cool and collected as ever, despite what happened. Or so he seems. I’ve gotten quite good at pinpointing the cracks in his masks, picking apart his facade.

I suddenly realize that Tealah is speaking to the crowd, gesturing at us with excited movements. I don’t care enough to listen to what she is saying, but the crowd is eating it up. They love this, these Trials. It makes me sick.

“—now for what you have all been waiting for!” I finally decide to pay attention to Tealah’s words as she amplifies them across the arena. “As you all know, this year’s Purging Trials will be…unique.” She gestures to Kai, clearly indicating that he is the reason for this. Another test for their future Enforcer.

She continues with a flash of her blindingly white teeth. “And because of that, the first Trial was outside of the Bowl with no audience to witness it.” The crowd murmurs at that, clearly unhappy that they couldn’t witness the violence. “But do not fret, citizens of Ilya!” Tealah exclaims enthusiastically, “You will still get to watch the highlights, but without all of the boring bits.” She laughs and the crowd joins her, rumbling the stadium.

“So, here is the first Trial in the sixth ever Purging Trials!” The audience roars with excitement before falling silent as we all shift in our seats to get a view of the enormous screen at the far end of the oval arena. Recordings flicker to life, snippets of each of us provided by the line of Sights standing below it.

I watch myself, and every other opponent, wake up in the forest, confusion and concern written on each of our faces as we read the note left for us. I witness Blair’s fight with Andy before the scene cuts to Hera, sinking in quicksand she stumbled into deep in the forest. She’s screaming, eyes pleading with us—no, with the Sight standing idly by.

She vanishes from the screen, and I’m suddenly staring at Kai. But he’s not alone. He’s brawling with Braxton by a fire, trading punches in the dim light before burning each other with the flames.

The crowd cheers and quiets, claps and stomps while watching the Trial as though they were there. I’m silent, still, stiff-backed like my opponents beside me. We are watching ourselves fight to survive.

Suddenly, my own face flashes before my eyes. And then I’m watching the horrors of those illusions all over again. Kitt’s dead body floating lifelessly in the pool. The starved little girls begging for help—myself begging for help. I see the terror on my face, see myself crumple to the ground.

The body sitting beside me shifts, and my eyes drift slowly towards him. My gaze crashes into Kai’s, ignoring his clenched jaw and taut brows. It’s his cold eyes I focus on. I’ve never seen a stare so icy, yet so full of fire. The look in his eyes is chilling, and I shiver. It’s like icicles, his gaze. Pretty but sharp. Cool but deadly. Captivating but cutting.

He doesn’t break my gaze, and I swallow. Then he’s saying something, though his mouth doesn’t open. My head whips to the screen, and I’m watching myself strain to hold my bow up with the pain of my wound. I watch Kai rush over to me as I crumple to the ground. Watch something like worry cross his face as he tries to keep me awake. Tries to keep me alive.

I glance at him again, but he’s focused on the screen, not bothering to return my gaze. I hadn’t realized he could look at me like that. Look at me like he cared. It frustrates and flusters me all at once, but I can’t seem to tear my eyes away from the scene playing out before me, playing out before the entire crowd.

I hadn’t realized just how often the Sights were watching us, and my face feels hot as most of my conversation with Kai while he stitched me up is blasted for all to hear. And the crowd is loving it. I swear I hear a collective sigh each time Kai touches me or says my name, accompanied by murmurs of jealousy for that very reason.

I watch Jax Blink from tree to tree, and then Andy and him together, screaming as dozens of snakes surround them. I watch Hera stumble across Blair before a sloppy fight ensues, one where latter is mostly yelling in frustration because she can’t find her invisible opponent.

Kai and I are back again, and this time, I’m nursing his wounds. The crowd buzzes as they lean in to hear our teasing. I throw a glance at Kai beside me who doesn’t bother to look my way, though the corner of his lips twitch, telling me he finds this amusing.

Flashes of each opponent over the days flit across the screen, fighting one another while fighting against the dangers that inhabit the Whispers. Kai and I are back too soon, and—

Oh, Plagues, no.

Thankfully, the Sight only caught the very end of our dance before Sadie interrupted, but it’s enough to get the crowd hollering with delight. I can’t say I blame them. Too much bloodshed can get boring, and this is quite the unexpected twist. Their future Enforcer is giving them quite the show.

I stare down Kai who is, to my annoyance, smirking now. My voice is hushed and highly agitated as I say, “Why didn’t you tell me there were Sights around?”

His eyes finally flick to mine, causing my heart to hammer against my ribcage.

Stupid, stupid organ.

He leans in so close that his lips brush the shell of my ear. “I was a little distracted.”

I will my pounding pulse to slow and force my eyes away from his, turning my attention back to the screen where I watch myself fight Sadie.

And then I watch her die all over again.

It seems that a Sight failed to catch Kai burying her, though part of me wonders if that was intentional. The king would have likely found a decency such as that to be a weakness, a flaw in the Enforcer he’s created. So, the kingdom will never see that shred of kindness Kai showed. It seems that secret solely belongs to the two of us.

There’s movement flickering across the crowd as the audience around us presses their pointer and middle fingers together, the symbol hovering over their hearts. A diamond. Ilya’s image of strength, power, and honor.

They are paying their respects to the fallen.

The contestants beside me do the same, and the crowd is silent, utterly still until the final fight at the edge of the Whispers lights up the screen.

Blood. So much blood. The scene is utter chaos, and I have no idea where to look or who to focus on. The angle switches back and forth between different Sights documenting the fight, focusing on different Elites. I watch each of us battle against one another, out for blood and those bloody bands.

Then I finally get to see how Hera died.

I knew she didn’t make it out of the Trial alive, I just didn’t know why. The Sight focuses on Braxton, blood leaking from a stab wound as an invisible knife pierces his skin repeatedly while he roars in anger and anguish.

Hera stabs him in the side, and he screams, reaching blindly to grab the invisible knife. His fingers wrap around the hilt, and he pulls it out, flipping it around before stabbing wildly in front of him.

I hear the sickening sound of steel sinking into skin and bone before Hera is flickering into view in front of him, the blade buried in her small chest. She blinks up at him with tears slipping down her face before buckling to the ground.

Triangles are being pressed against hearts for the dead girl as the rest of the final fight flits across the screen. I barely watch Kai running towards the crowd with Jax dying in his arms before the scene cuts to one last shot of the Elites, covered in blood and bloodthirsty. And then the screen goes dark, and the crowd is only silent for a breath before erupting into applause.

I barely hear Tealah as she begins speaking to the cheering audience, thanking them for joining us in watching the first Trial. “Oh, and don’t forget!” she practically squeals. “Your vote is more important than you know. Honor to your kingdom, honor to your family, and honor to yourself.”

The crowd recites the motto with her, and then they are free to leave. I watch hundreds of people shuffle between the rows of benches and through the wide tunnels leading out of the Bowl. They toss their votes into giant glass bowls beside the exits as they pass, not realizing the power they hold with the name they scribble down.

I hate the lack of control I have or the fear constantly following me. I hate feeling so helpless. So powerless. So Ordinary. I am competing in games meant to flaunt the powers and strength of the Elites—the powers I don’t possess.

Yet here I am. Alive.

And I intend to keep it that way.

Someone is following me.

I was heading back to my room after dinner when I suddenly felt someone close behind. I whirl, my hand flying to the hilt of my dagger on instinct. My eyes meet wide, startled green ones before I quickly avert my gaze. “Easy, Paedyn!” Kitt laughs, raising both hands in surrender. “You’re jumpy today.”

I turn on my heel and begin walking down the hallway again. “Well, don’t sneak up on me and you don’t have to worry about getting stabbed.”

“I have a feeling you’ll stab someone for less than just sneaking up on you.” I can hear the amusement in his voice, coating his words.

The hint of a smile has me ducking my head to hide it when he falls into step beside me. We are heading down the hallway towards my room when a firm hand grips my wrist, and I’m pulled into one of the many hallways branching off to my left.

I open my mouth to object, but even with his back turned, Kitt senses it. “Don’t stab me yet. I want to show you something.” He tosses a grin over his shoulder as he leads me through the maze of hallways.

I’ve finally learned my way around the main corridors, but when it comes to the dozens of small hallways scattered throughout the castle, I’m completely lost. Kitt easily navigates them, winding in and out of different corridors, passing other sections and rooms of the enormous castle I’ve never even seen. I’m sure he could find his way through the palace blind, a skill that only comes with growing up in this maze he calls home.

Golden sunlight warms my face when Kitt pushes open a large wooden door at the end of a hallway, nodding to the Imperials guarding it before we step out into the balmy evening. My breath hitches. I’m surrounded by color, by life. A wide stony path lies before us where several others branch off, all surrounded by hundreds of flowers.

The gardens.

It’s beautiful, breathtaking. Living in the slums, surrounded by dreary alleys and dull colors, I’d nearly forgotten how bright the world can be. Every place the cobblestone isn’t touching is teeming with flowers and plants of every kind and color. Pops of fuchsia and royal blue stand out among the pale yellows and lavender. Statues litter the garden, dark vines clinging to several of them.

It’s the neatest kind of chaos I’ve ever seen, with rows of flowers crowding around the paths, creating a railing of blossoms and foliage. Each of the stone walkways loops in a large circle, creating several rings around the massive fountain at the heart of the garden.

I’ve never seen anything so bright, so vibrant, and I have to blink rapidly, nearly blinded by the colors bombarding me. Between my blinks, I can see Kitt watching me curiously, contently.

He clears his throat and takes a step onto the path, guiding me beside him. “I promised I’d show you the gardens one day.”

My eyes sweep across the flowers as we slowly walk along a path. Kitt is content to fill the silence by telling me of Kai and his adventures in this very garden, pointing to the statues they’ve toppled over or the fountain they couldn’t resist taking a dip in. I snort at his stories despite my best efforts and clamp a hand over my mouth to stifle the sound.

I stop abruptly, throwing caution to the wind when my curiosity gets the better of me. “Why? Why do this?”

“Why do what, exactly?” He’s trying not to laugh at me while I’m trying not to hit him for that exact reason.

“Take me out here. Tell me personal things and…” I stumble over my words in frustration.

I dare a glance into those green eyes that match the foliage around us when he slowly says, “With the…future that I have, it’s hard to meet people. Really meet people. Get to know them. Most of the people in there,” he points towards the stone wall of the castle, “they want something. And they’ll say whatever they think I want to hear to get it. But you…”

My dry laugh cuts him off. “But I tend to say things I likely shouldn’t.”

“And I tend to enjoy hearing those things,” he says softly.

My eyes wander over the flowers rather than meeting his gaze. “Then I will keep that in mind the next time I wish to tell you off.”

I bite my tongue as soon as the words tumble out of my mouth. I may say whatever I please to Kai, but this is the future king. If I wish to keep my head, I’ll have to learn to hold my tongue.

But the boy beside me only laughs, seeming less kingly by the second. “Good,” he chuckles, “because I have something to ask, and I expect nothing but brutal honestly from you.”

I swallow.

There is nothing honest about me.

“The Trial…” he says slowly. “Your thoughts?”

I choke on my scoff. That was certainly not the question I was expecting. “My thoughts? You mean, other than the obvious?”

He stops walking to take a step closer to me, dwindling the little distance between us. “And what would the obvious be?”

My eyes are pinned to the top button of his shirt, so I don’t have to look into his father’s eyes. “That these Trials are a twisted way to celebrate a tragedy.”

 And there I go again, biting my tongue too late. But there’s something about this prince that makes me reckless, makes me want to tell him exactly what is wrong with everything he thinks he believes.

“Tragedy,” he echoes, his voice even. “You mean the Purging.”

“Yes, the Purging,” I breathe. “The banishment of thousands of people and the continuous killing of them that follows.” I’m practically spewing treason, but I can’t seem to stop now that I’ve started. “Those are your people, Kitt. Innocent people who are still being killed today because of something they have no control over.”

He stares at me while I stare at his collar, avoiding his gaze. “The Purging needed to be done, Paedyn. You know that.”

His voice is gentle while mine is anything but. “Why, because the Ordinaries are diseased? Supposedly weakening the Elites’ powers? Even though they lived alongside the Elites for decades?”

He blinks. “You think they’re not diseased?”

I am playing a very dangerous game.

I clamp my mouth shut, knowing I’ve said too much. To answer that question truthfully is a risk even I’m not willing to take, so I take a breath before hurrying to change the topic. “I just think that as the future king, there are a lot of things you need to think about.”

I don’t look at him, but I can feel his eyes on me. “And you’re going to enlighten me about those things? Enlighten me about my own kingdom?”

Play the part. Play the part. Play the—

I bark out a bitter laugh. “Don’t be an ass and don’t pretend you know your kingdom! Have you seen the slums? Seen the segregation, the starving citizens? Your starving citizens.”

So much for playing the part.

I throw my hands up, shaking my head at the flowerbeds. “Would you even listen to me if I tried to enlighten you, tried to tell you to make a change?” He stands there, silent and still. So I ask again, voice urgent. “Well? Will you listen to me?”

His hands are suddenly cupping my face and guiding it towards him as I fight the urge to flinch. “If I listen to you, will you look at me?”

My breath catches in my throat.

“Look at me, Paedyn. Please.”

And it’s the softness, the pleading in his voice that has me taking a breath and shutting my eyes for a moment. When I finally open them again, I see so much compassion and concern filling his green gaze. And for the first time, I allow myself to study those eyes. Because they have never looked less like the kings. The warmth in them washes over me, overwhelms me.

“All this time,” he says quietly, “I’ve been searching for a gaze you wouldn’t give me, waiting for you to want to look me in the eyes.” He pauses to take a breath. “Why do you avoid my gaze, avoid me?”

So, clearly, I’ve done a terrible job at playing the part.

“You…” I swallow. “You reminded me of someone from my…past. But the more I get to know you, the more different the two of you seem.”

I study him for a moment, surprised by my honesty. The king and his heir may look similar, but in this moment, they’ve never seemed less alike.

He smiles softly at me. “Does that mean you’ll start looking me in the eyes?”

“Only if you start listening to me,” I reply with a small smile of my own.

“Deal,” he says simply before we slowly begin to head down the path once again. “I have another question for you.”

I almost laugh. “And I likely have an answer for you.”

He smiles before his face is suddenly serious, and he tucks his hands behind his back as we walk. “In the Trial, Ace made you…see me. And at the sight of me dead, you seemed…” He shakes his head, searching for the right word. I’m reminded of how he watched that scene play out on the screen in the Bowl, saw the look on my face upon seeing him, heard the scream that tore from my throat.

“Upset?” I say weakly. “Terrified, even?” For once, I look at him until he meets my gaze. “When I saw you dead, I guess I suddenly saw all the potential you have die with you. All the potential to be a better king for Ilya, to make changes, to rule how you should and not how you are told.”

We’ve finally made it to the center of the garden where we stop beside the fountain. Now that I’m finally willing to look at him, Kitt’s eyes don’t seem to want to leave mine. “Thank you,” he says with a smile. “I know I can always count on that brutal honesty of yours. You’re the first real person I’ve had the pleasure of knowing in a while.”

I almost laugh at that.

If only he knew. I’m a liar and a deceiver who used him as my partner so I could get the people’s attention. I stand before him as an Ordinary, one he would have killed if only he knew the truth, and I would die by the hand of his future Enforcer I’m too stubborn to admit my attraction to. And in the end, it wouldn’t matter how real he thought I was.

 But I offer him what I hope is a sweet smile before turning to face the beautiful fountain that is so large, I now understand why the princes couldn’t fight the urge to swim in it. I lean over the edge, peering into the crystal water reflecting my face back up at me.

Shillings.

There had to be hundreds of them, just casually lying at the bottom of the pool. I recall how I felt on my first night here after seeing all the wasted food. I feel sick. So much money lying idly. And for what? So the rich could make their petty wishes?

I gulp down my disgust.

Play the part.

“Alright, what is it?” Kitt asks with more than a hint of humor.

“Hmm? Nothing.” I pause and peer up at him. “What do you mean?”

He laughs deeply. “You are fighting the urge to tell me off, aren’t you?”

I blink at him before sputtering, “How do you—?”

“You do this thing where you scrunch up your nose before you start arguing. It’s a dead giveaway.”

I open my mouth, and for once, no words seem willing to fall out. He smiles as he watches me struggle before I finally clear my throat and say, “Fine. The reason for me scrunching my nose,” I throw him an annoyed glance I likely shouldn’t have, “is because of all the shillings.”

When I don’t say anything more, Kitt urges, “Go on.”

“Well, money like this could feed dozens of Ilyans in the slums for weeks, months even,” I say evenly. “And yet, here it sits, wasting away for people’s wishes.”

Kitt’s eyes flick to the fountain, and he frowns. “You’re right. I’ll see about having it removed and distributed.”

My heart leaps against my chest. “Really?”

His frown flips into a wide grin. “We made a deal, remember? You keep looking at me, and I’ll keep listening to you.”

I almost snort before turning back to the fountain. I remind myself that this small victory with the shillings could mean nothing. In fact, removing and distributing them in the slums may never happen. But he’s listening, and that is progress. It’s potential.

 I bring my face close to the surface, trying to see through the ripples to the shillings beneath.

“How much money do you think is down th—”

My words are cut off by the cold water that rises from the pool to meet my face, splashing me lightly. I straighten and whirl to find Kitt laughing, his hand slightly raised at his side.

That damn Dual ability of his.

“You were right,” I say with a deceptively sweet smile. “I will stab someone for less than just sneaking up on me. Perhaps for even splashing me in the face.”

He raises his hands innocently and chuckles, a wide grin lighting up his tanned face. “Hey, you’re the one who called me an ass earlier.”

My mouth falls open at the realization that I had, in fact, said just that to the future king of Ilya. The look on my face has him laughing even harder, and I don’t think before dipping my hand in the water and thoroughly splashing him.

That was a mistake. I should know better than to start a water fight with a Duel who could drown me if he liked. After Kitt has finished thoroughly splashing me, water is dripping from my hair and clinging to my lashes. And then I’m laughing at the sight of us, sopping wet in the middle of the castle garden.

I’m still wiping sticky strands of hair off my face when I say, “This was not a very fair fight.”