Polathrin's Ruins

Mia started to braid her hair; the dark brown curls were a mountain of frizz on top of her head. She looked over at Akio, but he had stopped paying attention to her a while ago. He was intent to watch the water ahead, though she couldn’t understand what he was looking at.

She watched him carefully. He seemed so large next to her, but she could remember when he was a scrawny boy with a squeaky voice. It was amusing to think about now that she was a teenager.

Akio had grown tired over the years, his eyes more sunken and his shoulders forever rising to his ears. Mia wished she could help, she was ready to pick up a sword or a bow and arrow and lunge into the fight, but everyone was always ready to stop her. Even Zak, with all his mysterious nature, seemed reluctant for her to begin training. Mia wanted to yell at them, make them understand she wasn’t some stupid girl, that she could be worth something, but she bit her lip and waited. Her time would come, she could feel it.

The group thought of her still as the five-year-old they took in, but she was much more than that. She was smarter than they gave her credit for as well. She could read all of them easily, though they had no idea. She could see Akio’s lies, read Rozmo’s concern, sense Ramza’s urgency, and feel Zak’s fear. It was better than asking them, because they would cover it up even if she said something. Instead, she would play into what each of them needed.

Zak was the hardest, he shut down his emotions as much as possible to everyone. Fear was the only thing he couldn’t cover up; it soaked through his skin like a rot. But what was there to do about it besides learn how to fight alongside him and the others? Ramza wanted Mia to be little and naïve, so Mia did that. Akio wanted Mia to be his little companion, his sister beyond blood, and she could do that. Rozmo wanted someone to listen and understand him, and Mia tried to do that every chance she got. It was all she could do, after the many times they had saved her life, she had to try and save theirs. Even if she didn’t have a bow and arrow.

“One day, we’re going to find a safe place,” Akio mumbled.

Mia barely heard him, and she started to wonder if he meant for her to hear him at all. The promise was deep. It also had a lot of holes that would keep it from coming true. In order to find a safe place on Polathrin, one had to exist. In order to escape to Arji, a path had to exist. None of it existed, or at least it was all far beyond the group’s knowledge.

“I’m going to bed,” Mia answered quietly. Akio barely looked up.

Mia lightly passed the cabin, noticing Zak still laying out near the table with his eyes closed. He could probably hear her walking past, but he didn’t look up. She tried to quiet her step as she came around toward the stern. She walked down a couple loud, wooden steps as quietly as possible, avoiding the places where the creaks and cracks groaned the loudest. She made it near to the bottom when she heard Ramza’s soft voice talking to Rozmo. Mia stopped mid movement and swung herself out of sight toward the floor.

The voices stopped for a moment, but then continued. Mia winced. She thought for sure Ramza would be asleep by now. She got up so early in the morning, surely she should be the first to go to bed. Mia bit her bottom lip, trying to think of a plan when she heard Ramza speak.

“I’m going to bed,” Ramza whispered.

Mia looked around a small wall to see the blond hair shine in the light of Arji. Ramza got up to walk in the other direction to the cabin and Mia let out a small breath. She was having a stroke of good luck tonight. Now all that waited was Rozmo.

Mia started to stand up, but froze, realizing she hadn’t thought of a good reason to go out there. Should she say something about the view from the stern? She shook her head. That was stupid. Could she think up a question to ask? Her brain instantly emptied, and she felt her pulse quicken.

She couldn’t just walk up to Rozmo, she had to have a reason. It was late, getting dark, and –

“What are you doing here?” Rozmo tilted his head as he asked. He stood just off from the steps where Mia was waiting. She was crouched like some kind of lunatic, caught in the middle of a thought and immediately regretting her decision to walk this way.

Mia’s face flushed and she was suddenly happy it was dark. “I – uh,” she stammered.

His eyes became concerned. “Are you okay?” He reached out for her arm, and she felt her whole body go numb.

“Yes,” she managed. Her breath was fast, but she could barely tell which direction was up and which was down, let alone what was happening with her lungs. “I’m lost.” She whispered, instantly regretting everything. It was all blowing up in her face, but she couldn’t stop it. All she had wanted to do was have a private conversation with him, that was it. She had braided her hair so it would shine in the light, and she would sit and talk with him. They could talk about anything, everything. She would listen endlessly.

“You are…lost?” He asked, suddenly looking at her differently.

Mia tried to collect herself as the embarrassment settled in. Now he would think she was dumb, or she had some kind of head injury. Mia swallowed, “No, not lost, just walking. You know, the night and couldn’t sleep. Nightmares keeping me up.”

His eyebrows shot up and Mia felt a second wave of heat hit her. She wasn’t sure whether she should be more embarrassed or hopeful. Did she even sound like she was making sense anymore?

“Oh,” Rozmo mumbled. He was clearly unsure how to respond. “Well, I am headed to the cabin. Do you need me to get Ramza or Akio?”

Mia could feel all her plans crumbling. What else could she say? “No,” she whispered with a small smile. “I’ll be fine on my own.”

Rozmo nodded and walked away. Mia felt her shoulders slump in defeat. So, the night wasn’t as perfect as she thought. She waited for a bit at the stern, looking at the way Rozmo laid out all his tools and pieces of metal or plastic, but she didn’t stay long. The others would be wondering where she was, and she might as well get some rest.

The door to the cabin was left open for air, but also in case an intruder made a noise. When Mia passed, Zak had already gone from the table, but he wouldn’t be sleeping with the others. It was the one thing he never did, and Mia didn’t fully understand why. Akio, Mia, Rozmo, and Ramza slept in the cabin on a heap of blankets and pillows flattened from years of use, but Zak would dart off just before they all passed out for the night. One day Mia would find out, but for now the secret didn’t belong to her. Instead, she settled in between Akio and Ramza quietly and tried desperately to fall asleep quickly.