SWNOVELS Chapter 6.
6. The merry can of Nut-Brown Ale…
“But I’m the unbeatable Squirrel Girl…” Aileen Green said when she was told that she would be the Ambassador to the Kamazotz Nation. “I’m not going to be the Ambassador to the Kamazotz Nation…” she was deep in thought when Bazooka pulled at Squirrel Girl’s orange jumpsuit to correct her.
To paraphrase Bazooka Joe and the spirit of the Kamazotz nation, the stupidest thing they ever did was to listen to Squirrel Girl…and by no means were they going to let her take credit for the resurrection of the Kamazotz species. They had no intentions of letting her take the lead and have a repeat of their own Kamazotz Nation Trail of Tears…
First, a small group wants to deny history, then erase history, and when you think taking images of Native Americans out of sports teams’ logos is poetic justice… A decade or two later no one talks about the Cherokee Nation and the Trail of Tears because it isn’t shoved in the face of people who…without such a reminder would make sure they were more successful. Like the Holocaust during World War Two, the Hmong genocide in Viet Nam, or the Kurdish genocide was just some hate-filled political regime’s attempt to get to the Carnegie Hall of Genocide…practice exterminating genetic human diversity long enough.
And now some douchey science fiction author is making analogies among all the human atrocities and practicing music. Practice genocide makes perfect genocide…
The first attempt to deal with the errant Patlanis without Aztec Ghosts to guide the Patlani and their crews through Time/Space without further damage to the fabric of Time/Space near the planet with the mysterious door in orbit around a star in the constellation of Lyra was to try to destroy these errant Patlanis and their crew of clones. These Patlanis were to be destroyed before they could jump through Time/Space without an Aztec Ghost and further damage the fabric of Time/Space shortening the time universe MV-101 has before this damage leads to an implosion and the subsequent Big Bang. This implosion and new Big Bang led to universe MV-101 being recreated and most of the events from the previous incarnation of universe MV-101 happen without any changes. That first attempt failed and the destruction of these errant Patlanis led to universe MV-101 ending sooner. But that time has yet to come for those who rely on Time/Space travel as a literary device of convivence.
The staff of Mapimi Kamazotz sanctuary had begun with Squirrel Girl’s assistance to package one or two Kamazotzs into wooden crates. The plan was that Kamazotzs like Bazooka Joe or Unicorn Rainbow…the idea that the members of the Lollipop Guild i.e., the Kamazotz Nation are not only named for lollipops and sound like the stage name of your favorite exotic dancer (many lonely men believe that the lady using an alias has feelings that extend outside the confines of her job)…I’m sure this analogy isn’t lost on anyone. A Chupacabra named after a brand or type of lollipop and such names would be adequate stage names for exotic dancers. What was the author supposed to name Chupacabra’s in Squirrel Girl’s care after celebrity lawyers?
The wooden crates holding ambassadors of the Kamazotz Nation were to be sent to every known errant Patlani to consume their crew of clones because the explosion of these errant Patlanis would exacerbate the tearing of a larger hole in the fabric of Time/Space. But consuming the crew before they had the chance to jump through Time/Space would better solve the problem. If each wooden crate could be delivered before the attempt to explode these same Patlanis. But the danger would be…when the crew became aware of the ambassadors from the Kamazotz Nation before these bloodsuckers could render the Patlani inoperable because there were no more living human clones to try to navigate the Patlani through Time/Space.
Only two Patlanis would be needed to carry all the Chupacabras necessary to make sure the Kamazotz delegation can do their bloody thing and possibly extend the life of universe MV-101 from one Mayan or Aztec Long count to two Aztec or Mayan Long counts from the time the first errant Patlani first tried to travel through Time/Space without an Aztec guide.
It would be better to use two Patlanis than to teleport each wooden crate from anywhere in the Mictlan Military network on Earth. On the off chance, some member of this clone crew got wise and jumped through Time/Space. Like when you are serving your food on your plate bringing the plate closer to the serving dish prevents spilling the food on the table. If something were to go wrong the crews of these two Patlanis could respond quicker.
Coatlicue, Left-Handed Hummingbird, Vulture, the Hunter, Five Flower, and Xolotl were to crew two Patlanis the Siege and the Sword.
For some weeks now Claude has seemed a bit pensive. And Tam had accused him of being emotionally constipated…there was something on Claude’s mind.
“Mixcoatl…” he spoke softly while they were having some time alone.
“That’s the name of your Aztec Ghost…okay,” Tam said now having the same thoughts as Claude… “It doesn’t strike fear into the heart of people who speak English…so the Hunter…the hunter my love who has such a depravity for…” and that’s about the time that words began to fail their attempts to express their love for one another. The night before they were to escort the Kamazotz delegation on its peacekeeping mission.
Fifty wooden crates were loaded onto each of the Patlanis. In the Mictlan base under the Lago de Palomas, the two Patlanis were loaded with wooden crates making things easier to transport and distribute the Kamazotz delegation.
Quetzalcoatl…David Estrada (clone)…Ghost Rider was among those Ghosts who wished to lend any support. Kristi Watanabe had the same idea to change her name after walking through one of the casinos where she worked to see shot glasses painted with a tiny showgirl…and thought about the Elton John song.
Xochiquetzal became Tiny Dancer but the thing about Aztec Warriors dancing with feathers from the Quetzal bird is that a ghost of pleasure and indulgence not only conceals her sexy bits, her genitalia, but also her obsidian knives within the brilliantly colored feathers. Tiny Dancer looks like she should be the knife thrower’s assistant on the wheel of death, not the knife thrower…
Tlaloc also showed up and many others who were to board the Patlanis and distribute the one hundred or so wooden crates containing the Kamazotz delegation to help handle the ripping a larger hole in the Time/Space situation.
There were housing facilities at Mapimi and the rest of the Mictlan base at the Zona de Silencio…and while many of those stationed there watched Mumbles Conlodedos, others watch movies like Quentin Tarantino’s ‘Pulp Fiction’ and David Estrada as Ghost Rider, Tlaloc, or as your humble author thinks about words and actions humanity uses to put people in their place, to create a hierarchy where one was never needed, or altogether dehumanize our fellow humans.
Does the dialogue in Pulp Fiction about ’the Bonnie Situation dehumanize Marvin or did Vincent Vega’s handgun already relieve Marvin of his humanity? Did the handgun change Marvin’s status from human to corpse more dehumanizing than the use of the ‘N-Word’ or changing the accidental death of Marvin to a situation about Bonnie?
Like rapist frat boys using the term bitch and medicine as justification that medication normally used to treat schizophrenia is used as ‘Bitch Medicine’ because the woman doesn’t want to have sex with you…mostly on the basis there is a rumor that going to a party, bar, or dance club with nameless Roofie Rangers show up is an invitation to have these Roofie Rangers give you a dose of ‘Bitch Medicine’… And the cruel irony of innocent beautiful women dressing provocatively and sexy to attract a potential lover is the same way they are blamed for dressing as attracting a rapist. No one blames the rapist…but also that rape and sex crimes are about controlling and no one blames an octogenarian for a rapist breaking into her home while she is watching the Price Is Right…
It is the criminal who commits a crime and if the victim were willing it would be rape, theft, carjacking…it would be consensual sex, a gift or donation, or letting someone borrow or have your car…
Coatlicue is the usual guide of the Sword. The Hunter, Mixcoatl, is the usual guide of the Siege…and so the usual crews of those two Patlanis and several extra Aztec Ghosts along with the wooden crates holding the delegates from the Kamazotz Nation set out to make their deliveries.