Chapter 31
She didn’t get the job.
In what fucking world did she not get the job?
It’s the only question I’ve been able to ask myself over the last twenty-four hours.
I mean, did they not meet her? Notice how fucking smart that brain of hers is? Realize what an overachiever she is? How hard she works? She was so close to everything she wanted, and just like that, it’s gone.
The past twenty-four hours have been . . . strange. Between a day game today and watching Kennedy pretend she wasn’t upset while at work, to processing the outcome from that phone call and contemplating what that means for us in the future.
I barely slept.
On the other hand, she was out like a light, sleeping like a fucking baby on my chest last night. But I guess she just accepted her fate quicker than I did. Either that, or she’s never been allowed to show her disappointment growing up, and now doesn’t know how to.
I’m at a loss for how to wrap my head around it. It was never a question of whether Kennedy was going to move away. The only question I ever had was how I would survive when she did.
Everything we did was for this opportunity. The marriage, the acting that wasn’t really acting on my part. The months of being forced to share the same hotel room while waiting for her interview. The time we spent together that allowed me to really get to know her, to fall in love with her.
And I do. Fuck, do I love that woman.
And now she’s, once again, stuck working for a sexist lead doctor with no light at the end of the tunnel for getting out from under him.
Our marriage was a game, a stepping stone to better things for her.
We had a plan.
Then there’s the selfish part. My first reaction to the news and the silver lining constantly repeating itself. Contradictory to the disappointment I feel for her, I’ve also been racked with overwhelming relief.
Kennedy is staying in Chicago. I’m in Chicago. Nothing has to change between us. We can keep doing exactly what we’re doing now.
If that’s what she wants, I mean. I think that’s what she wants. I think she wants me.
No, she didn’t say anything in return when I told her I loved her, but that’s not why I said it in the first place. Besides, Kennedy has always been a few steps behind me in this relationship. I fell for her three years ago. I’m perfectly happy to wait for her to catch up.
But just because she doesn’t get to live out these new life experiences in a new city doesn’t mean I can’t keep giving them to her here. And even if she won’t admit it, I know she’s got to be upset and my specialty is making people smile. Her, specifically.
Knocking on her door, I wait for her to answer. I assumed the woman at reception would call up and let her know I was on the way, seeing as I had to be cleared by Kennedy’s list of approved guests.
Her building is bougie as fuck. White marbled floors. String music playing over the speakers in the lobby. An escort who walked me up to her floor.
“Who is it?” she calls out from behind her apartment door.
“It’s me, Ken.”
Utter confusion is the first thing I see as she opens the door. “What are you doing here? I was just packing a bag to bring to your place for the night.”
“Can I come in?”
Her eyes track my face and I watch her slender throat work through a swallow as she opens the widening into her apartment, allowing me inside.
It’s spotless, minus the handful of unfinished crossword puzzles discarded on the entryway table. As if every time she came back here, she realized she had been too preoccupied to do one so she tossed it aside, only for her to never pick it up again.
“Is everything okay?” she asks.
“Yes, but are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she brushes me off once again. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
She hasn’t once wanted to talk about it.
“Okay.”
“Am I not coming over tonight?”
“Of course you’re fucking coming over tonight. You think I can sleep without you at this point? Probably not, but I don’t want to test the theory either.”
Her face softens with amusement.
“I thought maybe you’d like a distraction tonight. I was going to see if there was another first I could check off your imaginary list. Ever had the chance to catch Fourth of July fireworks over the Navy Pier with your husband before?”
Lips pressed together, I watch that smile grow. “I can’t say I’ve had the chance to experience that very specific scenario.”
Stepping into her, I slip my fingers into hair, tilting her head back slightly. “Want to?” I drag my thumb over her smile. “But just a heads-up, the whole team is going to be there.”
She doesn’t hesitate when she nods against me. “Sounds perfect.”
Kennedy’s apartment building overlooks the Navy Pier, so the walk doesn’t take more than a few minutes to get there. In fact, judging by the picture out her windows I caught while she was changing, she’d have just as good of a view of the fireworks from her place as she would down here.
But after losing out on the job she so desperately wanted, I need her to have some fun with all the people who are going to be stoked to hear she’s staying.
Her hand is tucked in mine, and she’s wearing that hat I sent her to California in. Simple grey tee, cutoff denim shorts, and those high-top Vans. It’s plenty humid still tonight, even with the sun beginning to fall. A perfect summer night in the city I love, with the girl I love, hanging out with the team I love.
Lucky. I feel so goddamn lucky that she’s staying.
Weaving through the crowd, my brother is the first one I spot, towering over the rest of the patrons. Leaning back against the metal railing, with his back to the water, he holds his hand up to get our attention.
“There they are.”
“I can’t see anything,” Kennedy says, attempting to find our friends through the mass of people, leaning up on her toes and everything.
I try my best to bite back my knowing smile.
It doesn’t work. She smacks me in the chest. “Shut up.”
“Hey, guys,” Miller says as soon as we make it to them. She’s got Max in her arms, leaning with her back to my brother’s front.
“Zaya.”
“Hi, Bug.”
“The boys are by the wheel.” Kai nods in that direction.
I pop a quick kiss on Max’s cheek when Miller puts him on the ground, before finding Kennedy’s hand so I don’t lose her in the crowd.
My nephew seems to have the same thought when he takes my wife’s other hand, then his mom’s, standing between the two of them with so much pride.
Kai chuckles to himself as he throws an arm around Miller and the five of us are off to find the team looking like one big happy family.
“Maxie boy!” Cody calls out, crouching to his level.
My nephew runs—if you want to call it that—to him before Cody scoops him up, and the team’s attention immediately shifts. Some of them have dates with them, some of them came alone. It doesn’t matter, each of their focus zeros in on Max, giving him high fives or trying to make him laugh.
It’s something I love so much about these guys, the way they fully accepted Max when he came into our lives. There was never a complaint about a baby traveling with the team last year.
They all rallied around my brother to make sure he felt their support.
They’re good ones, and I feel incredibly blessed that I get to have them as my teammates.
Miller slips her arm under Kennedy’s, pulling her away to one of the concession stands and leaving me with Kai.
“She seems to be doing okay.”
“Yeah,” I agree, watching her in the distance. “Better than I thought she’d be.”
“How are you feeling about it all?”
“Happy.” There’s no hesitation in my answer. “I’m stoked she’s staying.”
“And long term? Because you thought this was a temporary fix. Are you wondering what this means for you guys?”
My head whips in his direction. “Well, fuck. Now I am.”
Kai chuckles, throwing his arm around me and pulling me to join the rest of the team. “Word of advice, little brother. You should probably think about asking your fake wife how she feels about being your real girlfriend now that she’s staying.”
Thankfully, that conversation ends just before arms wrap around my waist from behind.
“They have airbrush T-shirts here,” Kennedy says, her cheek resting on my back.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“That we should get Max one with his name on it?”
“Oh.” My lip curls. “No, I was thinking we should get couples shirts. You wear my name. I wear yours.”
“Why do I feel like you probably already had those made?”
“We’re up,” Travis says from the front of the line. “We can take Max in our gondola. There’s room.”
“Are you sure?” Miller asks. “You don’t mind?”
“Do you want to go with the boys, Bug?” Kai directs his question to his son.
Max nods excitedly, clapping his hands as Cody carries him into their gondola.
The rest of the team disperses into multiple others, and Kai and Miller take their own, as do we.
As soon as the door closes, Kennedy takes the initiative to slide onto my lap as we face the window. “I’ve never been on a Ferris wheel before.”
“What?” I laugh. “Yes you have.”
She shakes her head no, watching as we slowly inch above the Chicago skyline. It takes me only a moment to register who I’m talking to. Sometimes, I forget that Kennedy didn’t have a normal upbringing. That there’s no way her pretentious mother would take her to the local fair or an amusement park.
“I got close once though.”
“Oh yeah? How so?”
“My parents had a house in the Hamptons and one summer while I was home, we were going out there for this big party my mother had planned. I think I was eleven or twelve, and I didn’t want to sit around while a bunch of older people faked that they liked each other. So, while the car was being packed up for the weekend, I ran away, got on the subway determined to spend my weekend at Coney Island. There was an old Ferris wheel there. It looked fun and I had never been on one.”
“You did not.”
She huffs a laugh. “I did.”
“Okay, rebel. And did you make it?”
“Nope. I did, however, make it to Brooklyn before one of the family drivers scooped me up and drove me straight out to the Hamptons. My mother didn’t even reprimand me when I got there. Even me trying to run away couldn’t get her attention.” She settles back into my chest. “A lot of people were impressed by my last name, but it wasn’t much fun growing up as a Kay.”
I slip my arm around her hip, finding her hand folded in her lap to run the pad of my thumb over her ring. “I don’t care what your last name was, Kenny. I only care what it is now.”
She chuckles. “You do know my last name isn’t actually Rhodes, right? Just because we’re married doesn’t mean I automatically took your last name.”
“Well, we should probably do something about that.”
She doesn’t respond. Just like she didn’t respond when I told her I loved her.
And that’s okay.
“When was the last time you talked to your mother?” I ask.
She shrugs. “I haven’t. Not since that dinner in Atlanta.”
“At all?”
She settles back against me again. “She tried to tell me that my attendance was mandatory at Connor and Mallory’s wedding, but Dean and I decided we weren’t going to go. I haven’t talked to her since, and I have no plans to. I’m tired of trying to be perfect for them. They don’t care anyway, so I’m trying to focus on what makes me happy instead.”
Fuck, I love that.
“Proud of you, Ken.”
A small smile tilts on her lips. “Me too.”
“Speaking of Dean, can I just express how much I hate that you two are staying at your place while he’s in town for this upcoming series.”
“Three quick nights. You won’t even notice I’m gone.”
That’s a goddamn lie and she knows it.
The wheel takes us up to the top of my favorite city. The sun is just setting off in the horizon, casting a warm, golden hue over Lake Michigan. The buildings’ reflections are clearly outlined on the water.
“I love it here,” I say to her quietly. “Chicago.”
She simply nods her agreement.
“Do you?” I ask, because that’s what I really need to know. Can she stay here? Can she be happy here even though staying wasn’t her first choice?
“I didn’t think much of it before, but it’s grown on me recently.”
“Are you talking about me or the city?”
“They go hand in hand, in my opinion. It’s kind of a package deal.”