Perpetual

I have worked so hard to get to where I am right now. I have sweated, had sleepless nights and gone for days hungry to get here I don’t think I am willing to go the route that Sasha wants me to. I am still lost in my thoughts when James walks into the office, I didn’t even realize that the door was open all this while.

‘You look like you could use someone to talk to.’

I smile but the smile doesn’t reach my corners. I have this emptiness in the pits of my stomach that just wants me to go home and cry out my situation but I am a man and I am expected to show face. Besides I am still the CEO of this company there is no way that I can chicken out at this moment.

‘I will live James.’ I say now turning off my computer

He seats on the couch in the room his eyes still fixed on mine.

‘Remember the first time you came with this idea to me and how I thought it was ridiculous? Remember how you were so eager to get the work started but then I advised that first we do some ground work to see if it was even viable.’

‘Yeah I remember. You even called me a dreamer, said I should concentrate on being an engineer because this whole app thing would never put bread on my table.’

‘Then do you remember how after we launched it, not only did it bring bread but it gave you the means to buy the bakery?’

‘What is your point exactly?’

‘I know this looks like something that is a draw back but Leo I have seen you build something from the ground up and this might not go exactly as you imagined but your brains can never be taken away from you and it is also a lesson that you should never make the same mistakes that you made.’

He pauses. His words genuine yet still cutting deep parts of my soul.

‘I know you love Pearl, you don’t even need to prove it by doing anything for her because the way you look at her, carry yourself around her and the type of man you keep growing into can show just how true this is.’

Not knowing what to say I just find myself smiling.

‘I hope you can be honest with her about where the two of you stand so that you know how best to treat this, I hope you can be honest with her so that she is not shocked when she hears about this from another person.’

‘Thank you for the timely advice.’

‘I have your back always.’

I watch as he stands and walks out of the office. I know I was upset with him earlier at how he sounded but after much thought I can’t deny the fact that he was being honest.

I stay in the office for hours until the night comes, I have switched off my phone because I don’t want to deal with anything work related and also I didn’t want to have to talk to Pearl with a heavy heart.

Seeing that I can’t sleep here, I finally gather the strength and leave the office. The drive home is long and quiet, the night is void of all the noise from people and it’s just me and my thoughts. When I finally arrive home I spend an unusual time in the car before finally deciding to walk into the house.

‘For a moment I thought you wouldn’t come out.’ Pearl says

I walk over to where she is, she is wearing a white robe and matching house shoes. I place my head on her shoulders and smell the rose splitz that she is wearing.

‘You smell nice.’

‘Thank you babe, now do you care to tell me what is bothering you?’

‘Not tonight.’ I say kissing her neck

We stay in this position for a while, she is holding me tightly and just allowing me to be silent. Honestly I wasn’t going to be able to tell her anything if she asked further. I am just glad for the silence.

‘Come let us sit.’ She says directing me to the couch and that’s when I notice the empty packs of paracetamol on the side table.

‘Are you okay?’

‘I have had this funny headache the entire evening.’

‘Why didn’t you call me babe?’

‘Your phone was off.’ She says with a smile and that makes me feel terrible. I should have been there when she needed me and I wasn’t.

‘I am sorry, I forgot to carry my charger.’ I lie and I hate the taste of the lies on my tongue.

‘It’s fine babe, I spoke to the doctor and he told me that if it persists, I should see him tomorrow.’

‘Alright, I will stay home just to make sure that you are okay.’

‘There is no need, don’t you think the company needs you now more than ever?’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘James called me and told me what is happening.’

‘Of course he did.’ I say out of frustration.

‘Leo why didn’t you tell me that the things you were purchasing in my name would land us here? You know I have always been about personal development and as much as I love luxury I don’t want us going broke no?’

‘I don’t want to talk about it Pearl.’

‘Right.’ She says and I stand up and walk out of the room. I know I should be letting her in on what’s happening but I am so angry right now I don’t know where to direct it.

…

Kwenje’s Girl

Winnie

🙇🏾‍♀️