Penned Sea Hearts

Ramos’ purple flipper ears twitched in annoyance as he carefully brushed some repairing solution on the torn pages of a book that had just been returned, trying desperately to use as little of it as possible. The person returning it had said their friend had ruined it because of course they’d say that. It was always the friends. Maybe Ramos should make some so he could blame all of his mistakes on them, too.

At least it was mildly satisfying to do, he supposed as he watched the page knit itself together into an immaculate sheet of bleached kelp once more. But it was a lot of extra work that was also not exactly cheap. And extra expenses were the last thing his library needed.

Well, it wasn’t his library, exactly. It belonged to the town, the community. But Ramos considered it his because he’d been working here for ten years and practically by himself, save for his elusive supervisor, Edynar. The same supervisor he’d been trying to talk to about their troubles with funding for weeks now.

He still couldn’t believe the mayor had simply decided there wasn’t enough money to pay for the upkeep of the library. Ramos had been trying to ration the money they did get as best as possible, never asking for extra unless it was absolutely necessary, to avoid this exact situation. But they had elected a new mayor now, and this one clearly either had something against reading, or she was pocketing the money because there was nothing new being built or repaired that would gobble up the funding.

Somehow Ramos was guessing it was option B.

He winced when he realized that instead of brushing the next torn-up page he had been practically scrubbing it, his frustrated anger getting the better of him, and he quickly stopped pressing so hard. He didn’t need to ruin the book further.

Checking over the rest of it and deciding it was in as good a state as he could manage while trying to save on the repairing solution, Ramos closed the book, propelling himself up out of his desk with a strong flick of his tail, swimming up to the tall shelves filling up most of the library.

He took a cursory glance at the spine of the book, just to double check the author, noting that it was Tarkan A’resil, and his The Lands Above. A classic, though not one of his best, in Ramos’ opinion.

As he reached the correct shelf, Ramos took a moment to run his webbed hand over the spines of the author’s other books, stopping at The Abyss Unknown, definitely his favorite. Maybe he should reread it, though later. There was a book signing planned later today with a famous author Ramos detested.

He sighed at the reminder, bubbles flowing up from his mouth as he put the book into its proper place, swimming back down to his desk and settling himself down in his chair.

He didn’t even know anything about the author because all he needed to know was the man’s choice of a pen name. Whoever decided to call themself Phish Seaman was not someone worth talking to. And naturally, he wrote steamy romance because of course he did. What else could this person write with a name like that?

Ramos loved working as a librarian, he truly did. But sometimes it felt as though some higher power was testing his patience. Or perhaps punishing him for his bad life choices. As if he didn’t punish himself for those every day by regretting them.

“Wow, didn’t know this library came ready with a sexy librarian,” said a voice from his left, making Ramos look up from his desk, which he’d been scowling at, only to glare at the man swimming toward him with a grin, his gold-and-orange tail swishing behind him.

The man was dark-haired and bearded, grinning wider when he reached Ramos’ desk and leaned against it. From this close, Ramos could see the small, embroidered crab on the edge of the collar of the man’s blue shirt, signifying it as a piece from the Zrias brand. So clearly, whoever this man was, he had money.

Good, just what Ramos needed today. A rich moron who wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“The only thing you can check out here are books,” Ramos snarked, though his voice sounded very tired. He wasn’t surprised by that, though. He hadn’t been sleeping well lately with the worries he had about the library.

The man laughed, looking genuinely amused by Ramos’ remark, which made him a little surprised. He’d expected the man to get offended. “Should have known you were taken.”

Ramos’ heart lurched at that, but he was certainly not going to correct the man. He was just grateful he was being left alone.

“I know I’m a bit early. But I always like to see the venue before its full of people.” He looked around, waving his hand at the entire interior of the library. The man’s accent was distinctly capital. “Feels more authentic. This way I get to see it how it usually is.”

Only then did Ramos finally realize who he was talking to. And suddenly he felt like an idiot. He’d never actually seen the author before, as was true of most of the authors who had done book signings here before, but that was usually fine because his supervisor handled these things.

And Ramos especially didn’t want to interact with this one. Where was she?

“Right, Mr…. Um.” Ramos adjusted the way his glasses sat on his nose. He refused to say it. He just refused.

“Call me Kai!” the man said readily, reaching out his hand for a handshake, a gesture which Ramos begrudgingly returned. “Nice to meet ya. And your name is?”

Ramos sighed as he let go. He had a feeling he wouldn’t be left alone unless he revealed it, and it was a small price to pay for being left alone, hopefully. “Ramos An’lon.”

Kai grinned, his ears moving up with excitement. So far, this man was nothing like Ramos had been expecting, and yet at the same time, he was exactly like what he’d been expecting.

“Nice to meet you, Rami.”

Ramos glared. Yes, precisely what he’d been expecting.

“It’s Ramos.”

But Kai just winked, chuckling some more. Ramos really couldn’t wait for this conversation to be over because he already knew Kai was always going to call him Rami from now on.

“Mind giving me a tour?” Kai asked, still all smiles while Ramos stared at him with horror. A tour? Oh gods, why? Why him? Why wasn’t Edynar here right now? She loved Kai’s books for some reason. She would no doubt take any excuse to talk to him. But he was here alone right now, and what was he going to do? Refuse?

A book signing always brought in publicity, and usually with that some donations, so he couldn’t very well refuse and risk making this man angry. So far he didn’t seem as though anything would upset him ever, but there was no reason to test him.

“I do. But very well,” he grumbled, floating up from his chair slowly, sighing to himself. He still had yet to catalog new additions to the collection, and he’d been planning on doing that before this whole book signing event, but he supposed he could do it during. It wasn’t as though he would be needed while everyone came to swoon over Kai, so maybe he would get some peace and quiet during it.

“Great!” Kai cheered, either missing or ignoring Ramos’ bad mood. He probably hadn’t noticed it over his ego. Ramos had no doubts the man was incredibly self-centered, like most of the rich people from the capital. And being an author would most likely just make it worse.

“You know, this place is really cozy, even though it’s a bigger building,” Kai commented as he followed behind Ramos, who was dragging himself along to the row of bookcases on the right.

The whole library was comprised of several rows of bookcases, twenty fins high, with tables and chairs set up between them, and a smaller, round part in the back that had a glass ceiling meant for cozy reading. Ramos himself liked to hide in the corners there, knowing he wouldn’t be bothered by anyone. But unfortunately, his job required him to be at the front desk most of the time.

“The town I’ve been to before coming here had a smaller library, but I didn’t like that place at all,” Kai continued chattering as they reached their first stop. “It was made to look too grand. And it was too well lit up.”

Ramos supposed he should take the compliment, though he couldn’t help but wonder if this was a veiled insult. He was very aware that his library left much to be desired. The bookshelves were worn, the coral they were made of cracking a bit, the metal letters and plates detailing which book was where, and separating them by genre were lightly rusting, the protective enchantment on them slowly but surely wearing off, the lightening crystals around the building and hanging from the ceiling were too few and far between….

But there was only so much he could do with so little money. The first concern would always be to keep the books safe and preserved, and if he had the money, he’d spend it all on protection enchantments for them first. That way no one could tear them up.

“Well, this is the fantasy section,” Ramos muttered, waving his hand at the series of shelves he was floating by, flicking his tail a little. He didn’t want to be annoyed because he did like fantasy—it didn’t deserve this—but he just couldn’t help himself when he was showing around Mr. Inappropriate Pen Name himself.

“Ooh, Karas E’mka, Dragon Tamer. I loved these as a kid,” Kai exclaimed, running his fingers over the spines of the entire series. “I should finish reading them. I never managed to read the last two books.”

Kai’s smile ebbed a little, making Ramos frown, though he wasn’t going to ask what that was about.

“Oh, and what’s this?” Kai said, smiling once more as he reached up, pulling down the small statue of a sea dragon from the shelf above. Ramos set his jaw at that. He wasn’t sure why it bothered him that the author was touching it, but it did.

“That is a gift to the library from the local blacksmith,” Ramos deadpanned. “Please, put it back.”

“Oops, sorry,” Kai said easily, putting the little sea dragon right back before swimming around Ramos, reaching the next genre. “Okay, so here’s adventure. Now, where is….”

Ramos sighed when he saw the man’s tail disappear behind the corner. He already knew what he must have been looking for.

“Oh yeah! Here’s the romance,” Kai exclaimed happily, making Ramos wince and let out an aggravated breath as he swam around the other corner, making his way to Kai.

“This is a library. Be quiet,” he scolded him, his eyes widening as he realized how rude he was being. He didn’t want to drive Kai away. “Uh. Please.”

Kai didn’t seem to mind, though, smiling guiltily as he took a quick look around, noting the two other people sitting in this row, reading. “Ah, sorry, Rami. I get excited.” Then he turned to shelves upon shelves of romance, floating up, grabbing onto the coral as he did, no doubt looking for his own name.

And Ramos was proven right a moment later when he heard Kai make a delighted noise. “You have a lot of them.”

Ramos sighed again and swished his tail, moving up to Kai, glaring at all eleven books they had by Phish Seaman. Gods, that name was awful. And it was so much worse because he had to write that name in the catalog every time they managed to collect another one.

“Not all, though. I think I have about…hm, twenty now?”

Ramos stared at Kai in shock. What in Oremi’s trident was this? “How do you not know how many books you’ve published?”

“Well, they’re all kind of the same, aren’t they? It blends together.”

Ramos gaped at him for a moment, unable to accept this as reality. So this famous author didn’t even care about his work enough to remember how many books he’d written and published?

Ramos would have cared less about Kai writing only for the money if not for the hundred rejection letters stuffed in his desk on top of his own manuscript. He had known publishers were mostly interested in money, but it still hurt to meet someone actively taking part in this.

“Oh, sorry, are you a fan? I assumed you weren’t based on your….” Kai gestured to the entirety of Ramos, “…everything. You struck me more as some literary fiction buff.”

Ramos scowled, not liking at all that Kai was completely right about that. Though he supposed he did nothing to stray away from that aesthetic of being a pretentious intellectual, what with his shirt, tie, and waistcoat combo, but he just liked to dress that way. And the glasses didn’t help either, but it wasn’t as though he could take those off. He needed to see, dammit.

“I’m not a fan.”

Kai flashed a smile, his stupid, perfect teeth practically sparkling. “Okay, good. Don’t tell anyone, huh? People seem to enjoy reading my stuff, and I don’t want to ruin it for them.”

Ramos nodded, not really having thought of doing that in the first place. What would he gain from that? He didn’t want to tear other people down just to feel better. He wasn’t jaded enough for that quite yet.

“I’ll make sure to send the missing copies to you. How about that?” Kai said, pointing his thumb at the stack of his books. “To complete the set.”

Ramos wanted to refuse, not wanting to give the man the opportunity to stroke his ego, but even before he properly considered that, his shoulders sank. His dislike of Kai wasn’t strong enough to say no to being able to collect a set of books. It never could be.

It wasn’t as though he could afford to buy books for his library, so any donations at all were accepted. And it always made him excited to get new books.

“That would be appreciated.”

Kai chuckled. “What? Do you hate my work that much?”

Ramos grimaced. The other man must have picked up on the lack of enthusiasm in his voice. “Nothing written under such a pen name can be good.”

Kai snorted, his ears twitching in amusement. “Right, so you almost literally judge books by their covers? That’s an odd thing for a librarian to do.”

Ramos shook his head, throwing a frown at Kai’s books. He didn’t need to pull any out to know what the covers were like. They all had a painting of two or more mermen kissing in various positions, in various stages of disrobing, enchanted so they were moving in a short looping.

He could not think of a genre meant less for him.

“I am not interested in pornography.”

Kai quirked an eyebrow, his smile finally disappearing for a moment. “I mean, that’s not what my books are. But I’m not going to judge your tastes. It’s not for everyone.”

Somehow, Kai being so understanding and unbothered made Ramos even more annoyed, but he managed to keep calm as he showed Kai around the rest of the library without incident. And finally, that was the moment his supervisor showed up, immediately talking Kai’s ear off.

Kai waved at him when Ramos quickly used this as an excuse to escape, but Ramos ignored it, just feeling awkward. He couldn’t wave at someone he’d just insulted—that would be weird—so the only option left was to pretend he hadn’t seen it.

He settled himself down in his chair again with a relieved breath, running his hands through his hair before grabbing the box of books by his desk, pulling them up onto it, and rummaging through, looking them one after the other and cataloging and numbering their spines with the special glowing ink he’d gotten from the town alchemist over a year ago. That had been a very good purchase.

People slowly but surely filed in, looking excited, clutching their own copies or planning to buy them. Ramos didn’t pay them much attention, noting that most of them seemed to be out-of-towners who had come here because of Kai. Which made sense. Though the biggest settlement in the Floods, K’arhan wasn’t a very large town, so even though there were fans of Kai’s books here, it would certainly not be enough to fill the library the way it was now.

With the place packed, the signing finally began in the back, which was ideal because it meant no one was distracting Ramos from his work. Well, at least that could be said from the people, he thought to himself when he noticed Bookie moving toward him, opening and closing as she inched closer and closer.

All books needed care, and it was doubly true for books on magic that tended to spontaneously come alive and develop personalities. Bookie’s included for some reason choosing the name Bookie, and constantly demanding Ramos pet her spine when she wasn’t chasing around the other magic books. But it was adorable, so Ramos wouldn’t complain.

He continued cataloging as Bookie landed on his desk with a thud, using one hand to stroke her whale leather cover. He knew she would demand hugs eventually, but he really needed to finish this, and it would placate her until he could.

Once he was done, he went around sliding the newly cataloged books into their proper place around the library, Bookie following him around, making noise by slamming her cover shut repeatedly. Ramos would be concerned if he didn’t know by now that that was a happy sound. He couldn’t help but smile at her.

He knew he was difficult to get along with, so it was nice that at least someone seemed to like his company, even if it was a book that had come to life.

By the time he was swimming back to his desk, the book signing was over, people slowly leaving the library, some thankfully dropping coins into the donations box by the door. Good, maybe they would make it through a few more months without the library falling apart.

He had Bookie in his lap, patting her spine as he watched the scene absently, his eyes focused on Kai in the back, talking to three of his fans. If Ramos met one of his favorite authors and found out they didn’t care about their work and only did it for the money, he would be crushed.

It was a good thing all of his favorites were long dead.

So yes, he was never going to tell anyone about this. The thought of making someone feel like that pained him, no matter his opinion on the quality of these books. He got to think people liking them had no taste while also not wanting to ruin it for them.

Once everyone was gone, he got out of his chair, and, keeping Bookie under his arm, lazily swished his tail to get to the main entrance, intending to lock it, only to realize that Kai was right behind him. Apparently, everyone had left except for him.

Blushing at his embarrassing mistake, Ramos got out of the way, his head ducked a little.

“I’ll stay willingly if you want me to. No need to lock me up,” Kai joked, making Ramos’ face burn more.

“I didn’t realize you haven’t left,” Ramos immediately defended himself, huffing while still feeling very stupid. “Apologies.”

He wondered where his supervisor had disappeared to again. That woman seemed to have the power of teleportation.

Kai just chuckled, flashing him a grin that Ramos was sure made most people swoon. He was starting to wonder just how much of Kai’s popularity was down to his books and how much to his charisma.

“See you around, Rami.”

Ramos tried not to scowl at him for continuing to call him that. “Thank you for your patronage, Mr…Kai.”

Kai grinned again, giving him a wave as he pushed the door open and slipped outside, finally leaving Ramos completely alone.

Good. Despite making a fool of himself just now—and twice over, if he were to consider that he couldn’t recall the author’s second name—at least it was over now.

And he would never have to talk to Kai again.