Patient Blue

‘How goes it Blue?’

I’m a bit down to be honest and the treatment hasn’t really started yet, just a bit of Fiery showing off with a couple of flashes and a light show.′

‘Don’t worry it’s already starting to work, the eradication is underway and now it’s starting to get hotter and I quite like this idea Fiery has about a short sharp warm up then a rapid freeze, radical but workable.’

‘I keep thinking about Red I miss him.’

‘I know, but I consider Red dormant rather than dead and I certainly haven’t ruled out a resurrection there, some form of reintroduction.’

‘Really, when?’

‘Not just yet and it may not be me who decides anyway, I’ve got my eye on something bigger and better, a new opportunity perhaps, but I’ve already said too much and it may not happen anyway.’

‘I’m intrigued, are you sure you can’t tell me more?’

‘I’ll just say Andromeda and leave it that. Anyway, let’s talk about you. You need cheering up and I know just the thing, Pink.’

‘Pink?’

’Pink, or as more commonly known the most beautiful body in the Galaxy. Pink has also been receiving treatment for a nasty and persistent virus. Let me tell you a bit about Pink and her current irritating affliction. Just as with you we are at the earliest stages of treatment, but I have every confidence that both of you will pull through.

‘Pink, never heard that name before.’

Her orb is Sirius, who as you know prefers to be known as Blazing Incandescent Orb or BIG. No more than about eight and a half light years from here so a very close neighbor. Your virus won’t have noticed her of course tucked out of the way just enough to avoid there little magnifying devices. They actually think they are the only intelligent species in the entire Universe, pathetic really.

‘What virus does Pink suffer from, is it similar to mine?’

’Hmm, how to describe them? Well the individuals that make up the virus are large and disgustingly grotesque, in fact no redeeming or pleasing aesthetic qualities at all. Each individual is a thousand times bigger than yours and I would put them right at the bottom end of the lower sentient scale. Pink is an ocean world no un-submerged land and the ocean is unsalted and crystal clear. Pink algal fronds rather like thick strands of kelp, covers this ocean creating a warm oxygen rich environment.

A unique feature of this algae is that when it dies the smell of its decay is a truly beautiful perfumed fragrance.The only indigenous wildlife on Pink, small translucent aquatic creatures feed on the decaying blooms allowing new blooms to take the place of the old. About a billion years ago a comet splashed down on Pink, escaped from the Deep Black storage area. I must get security tightened, too much of that going on and the virus was on board.

At first they were no problem but lately they’ve got out of control and much of Pink’s bloom is being consumed before it can be replaced. This virus is basically a giant eating machine, a round dark blob with scales that regularly break out into huge ugly oozing pustules. They are blind with no sense of smell, which is just as well as they actually smell truly awful. They have a mouth at one end, genitals for breeding in the middle, which just like your virus they do copiously and an anus at the other. Their sexual practices are also pretty hideous. Being blind and possessing no other forms of sensory perception, they just float about and when they bump into each other they immediately attempt sexual intercourse. If it is a member of the opposite sex then all well and good but if it is a member of the same sex they attempt to defecate on them before floating away. So basically they eat, screw, consume all the resources, defecate and destroy, sound familiar?

‘Yes it has a ring.’

‘Don’t know what I could have been thinking of when they were conceived I should never have let them leave the Lump.’

‘The main problem for Pink is that the more algae they consume the less oxygen is produced and this has a bad effect on her atmosphere and the Quicksilvers.’

‘Quicksilvers?’

‘Yes it’s what I’ve taken to calling the indigenous creatures. Anyway BIG is assisting with their removal, to be honest it will be far easier to eradicate the blobs, as I call them, than to remove your virus. I can’t think of a suitable name for yours at the moment, Screamers maybe or Uprights, though they refer to themselves as humans by the way. The blobs are far more prone to heat and just a few raised degrees from BIG for a short while should do the trick. I don’t take to them I think I’ll let them all go, wouldn’t be a loss at all.’

‘Unlike my screaming uprights or humans or whatever they are I understand you have a soft spot for them?’

’Oh I may let a few survive, something about the way they look is rather pleasing to the eye, maybe later on a phased reintroduction of a modified version. Anyway, the reason I’m here I want to introduce you to Pink, it will help your cure, have effects on you that you won’t have felt before, but effects I think you’ll enjoy. I’ll leave you two together, must rush things to do, impressions to make, Andromeda to consider.

‘Hello, is that Blue.’

‘Pink?’

’That’s me. GP says you’re feeling a bit rough, sorry to hear that, I’ve been the same lately, getting the treatment with the over eager assistance from BIG and enduring the uncertainty and inevitable boasts that follow.″

’I get that from my orb, FBO. That and a so called radical treatment plan that he has devised that I’m not sure has been fully thought through by GP.

‘I’ve heard about FBO, suffers from small orb syndrome I reckon.’

‘Yes you’re right, but don’t let him hear that or he’s sure to take it out on me.’

‘Tell me a bit about yourself, some history and hopes for the future, if you don’t mind that is I mean we’ve only just met. You obviously keep yourself to yourself as I hadn’t heard of you before GP said come and cheer you up. I don’t know why he picked on me, other than I am also undergoing treatment.’

‘GP said that you were the most beautiful body in the Galaxy, and I can tell he was right.’

‘Why Blue, you old flatterer, actually you’re not bad yourself, all blue, green, white, hot and fertile, a bit of a rarity around here. I’m very attracted to your fascinating variety, oceans, jungles, huge erections.’

‘Mountains.’

‘Whatever. In fact I am very attracted to you in general. Forgive me being so forward with us only just having become aware of each other, but I can feel my blooms stirring and quivering and turning a far deeper shade of pink, almost red and glistening, you really are doing something special to me and I like it, I really like it, hmm I love it.’

Blue, as GP had predicted, did indeed begin to feel strange stirrings at his very core and these intense pleasurable stirrings only increased the longer he communed with Pink. Blue thought about the luscious pink wetness now turning a glistening red and the beautiful perfume Pink emitted, which to any Human nose would smell like Chanel No 5 and the stirrings became stronger, unstoppable more urgent.

Then a strange thing happened, a thing that at first shocked then delighted Blue as it felt so good. A thing that did not however feel good to the human population caught in the devastating aftermath of what could only be described as Blue’s first, but certainly not last, manifestation of extreme and explosive lust. Blue felt a tightening under the crust somewhere deep beneath the Himalayan Mountain range. A grinding of tectonic plates a warm pleasurable rubbing a fluidity of rising magma, a spasm a cataclysmic shudder and the whole Himalayan range shifted at first sideways and then upwards in a mighty convulsive erection.

‘Blue, you bad naughty world you and we’ve only just been introduced.’