Patient Blue

Rapture day had arrived and the blue black clouds that hung in the sky, suffused with occasional flashes of forked lightning gave the whole scene a suitably biblical air. The faithful and committed members of The Church of the End of Days, despite having few means of transport, had gathered in their hundreds of thousands, including many young children the elderly and disabled. The latter hoping for either a miracle at the blessed hands of the Reverend or the actual rapture so that they could finally depart this vale of tears and the infirmities that blighted their lives. Many had traveled for days on foot to be there and all waited with excitement and anticipation, the appearance on stage of the Reverend Owen Van Bowen.

A selection of Cliff Richard songs boomed from stacks of speakers mounted either side of the stage and earlier a Gospel choir; The Angelic Brotherhood of Brixton, had sung a medley of tried and tested spirituals. A huge banner stretched the full width of the stage and carried the slogan in large blue letters, Rapture Day - Hail Oh Lord Hail. There stood a huge pine cross with the figure of the crucified Jesus beneath the banner. Around the edges of the park ice cream, hot dog and soft drink vendors did a roaring trade. It was one hundred and thirty degrees in the shade, and the Reverend Van Bowen was about to hit the stage and regale his flock.

At mid-day, to a fanfare of trumpets, Owen Van Bowen took to the stage and the crowd sent up a wild cheer, interspersed with hallelujah’s and Hail Oh Lord, Hail’s. He was in one of his trade mark elegant and expensive dark suits and a white silk open neck shirt. As he walked to the middle of the platform he held his arms aloft as if in triumph. ‘My people, the people of God and his only son and savior the Lord Jesus Christ, all true believers,welcome to our day of Rapture. Many of you have traveled a far distance on foot to be here and be saved from evil today. Just as Moses and the Israelites trekked many miles to escape the heathen Pharaoh of Egypt who was finally forced to release them when God delivered unto them ten plagues. Now the heathens who practice sin and evil, lust, sodomy and the pursuit of wealth above all other things, have themselves also been visited by ten plagues sent from a vengeful God. They must endure heat, drought, flood, fire, disease,famine, thirst, earthquake, volcano and the Wang pulse that has confounded the devises of their vile false propaganda and filth. Now we too are to be delivered from this evil realm of the Devil and his disciples and be free in the mighty and glorious kingdom of Heaven, Hail oh Lord, Hail. ’

‘Hail, oh Lord, Hail’ roared the massed ranks of the faithful. Rain had begun falling from the ominous heavy dark clouds that filled the sky and flashes of lightning flickered threateningly followed quickly by loud rolling claps of thunder.

Hardly believing his luck at the awesome natural lighting and sound effects provided by nature, but still hedging his bets in case it didn’t actually happen, Van Bowen held his arms aloft and said. ‘Lord bring us your Rapture and take us all into your Kingdom of Heaven where we may all sit at your right hand and eat of milk and honey and live forever in peace and happiness as true believers in your kingdom, for we are ready. But if you feel that the time is not yet right, we will understand and take it as a sign that a day of rapture will follow at the appropriate time and until that time we will keep praying, and all your followers will keep giving to your Church of the End of Days. And each donation will bring the giver that much closer to your throne, Hail oh Lord, Hail.’

Again the congregation, although noticing the tone of the sermon had changed, and collectively wondering whether this was indeed the day of Rapture after all, once more roared in unison Hail Oh Lord, Hail.

There was a blinding flash of lightning and a titanic clash of thunder and the heavy rain began to take a more solid form and thick hail began to fall from the turbulent sky. The stones got bigger and bigger and soon were the size of golf balls then Grapefruits, bombarding the crowd. Screaming and cursing they tried to cower, many began taking blows to the head from the solid lumps of falling high altitude ice and were killed or seriously injured. Van Bowen lifted his head and raised his hands towards the sky screaming,‘oh Lord please stop all this hail oh lord now.’

It was the last thing he would say until the groveling apologies he would be making after arriving back in the Deep Black storage area with many of his confused and pissed off followers. For as he exhorted the Lord for a benign intervention, a hail stone the size and shape of a football, an apt analogy, glanced off the head of the figure of Christ on the cross. Flew at the perfect angle into the back of Van Bowen’s head where it shattered his skull penetrated his brain killing him instantly.

The Death toll was more than three thousand, with a large number killed by the plummeting giant hailstones and many more crushed in the panic to escape. Two of the unlucky victims were Carol Collier, erstwhile Councilor from Sapphire House and her daughter the Tulip.

And so it came to pass that many followers of the Church of the End of Days did depart this earth on the day of Rapture, just not in quite the way and style they had expected.

The incident remained unreported in the press and on TV, which had now almost ceased to exist., thanks to the tenth plague from God, the Wang Pulse.