Pasquinelli/Rise 465

Sure he was thirty years older and hardly looked like the young man that was sitting on a chestnut chair, staring into a mirror of his older self, but it was definitely him.

Jon just sat there, staring at the still reflection that was to be him. Fortunately, except for the face, nothing else about the reflection reminded Jon of himself. Ignus looked chilling; he had snow-white skin and stark black hair that was styled similarly to Jon’s, but his cloak and robes were black. The phoenix embroidered on his chest was merely an outline of Jon’s, in a deep blood red. Indeed, Ignus’ eyes were even black. He carried a bitter, mean expression on his face. Although old and tired-looking, there was also determination and obsession behind the empty eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jon asked slowly.

“I could not risk an emotional and rash decision from you,” said Jotea as she put the mirror back. “Which is exactly what is happening.”

“Well no wonder,” said Jon, anger seething. “We’re supposed to come to this -- country -- of yours and try to fight -- with magical powers no less -- an evil psychopath who wants to dominate Earth. And not only that, the psychopath is ME! Never mind the fact that I don’t even know how to use these ‘powers,’ but I have to become an expert and learn how to beat this person who’s got years more experience than I do. How do you expect me to do this?”

“You will train,” Jotea said calmly.

“I also have a life. I also want to go home and, I don’t know, go to college and be normal.”

“There is no such thing as normal, Jonathan. I know you know this.”

“So how many people magically travel to another world and are told they have to fight their older selves?”

“Well --” she began but had no answer to.

“I thought so,” said Jon. He realized he was now standing.

“You mustn’t reject this, Jonathan. This is your destiny. The Amulet wouldn’t have chosen you if you weren’t the one.”

“I don’t care. I don’t believe in destiny. I also can’t do the impossible.”

“Nothing is --”

“Goodbye,” said Jon. He looked at Ray who was still sitting. She saw the look on his face, showed a similar look on her own, got up, and walked out of the room.

“I hope you find a solution to your problem,” said Jon coldly.

“It will be your problem soon enough,” said Jotea. She turned her chair toward the window and stared out onto the sea.

Jon walked out of the room still fuming, leaving the Amulet on Jotea’s desk. He followed Ray down the corridors and stairs -- fortunately she knew where she was going because Jon’s mind was elsewhere and not paying attention. He could have walked into a broom cupboard and not even noticed. The guards at the front doors had to struggle to get the doors open for Jon and Ray were walking so fast. The castle residents all stared at them as they exited -- by now their arrival was big news.

Since the first time they met, Ray stayed quiet for a long time. They were making their way down High Street, and Ray seemed to know Jon well enough by now to let him be with his own thoughts for a while. And she was right. Jon’s head was going in so many different directions; he was surprised they were still walking in a straight line to the city gates.

“You know,” said Ray after a very long time, “this really is a pretty place.”

“Yeah I do know,” said Jon, looking up and down several streets as they passed.

“She’s crazy though.” ‘She’ meaning the Empress they had just rudely excused themselves from.

“For sure,” said Jon. He still didn’t feel much like talking.

By the time they reached the city outskirts, the sun was setting through the forest, turning the sky a deep royal purple. Jon checked his watch, it was ten o’clock in the evening in Pacific Daylight Time, and the clock tower at gate said seven. Several Noreans by the front gate were staring at Jon and Ray passing. Some were pointing and whispering until Ray burst out.

"What are you looking at? Mind your own damn business!”

Jon gave her a weak smile. If that was her goal, she certainly attained it, because she smiled back obviously.

And then they began their long walk back up the grassy slope that would take them to the cliff. Jon’s attention briefly shifted to the place’s beauty once more, but it was only a temporary distraction. He went back to his self-examination a few moments later. Questions started bubbling in his head that he wasn’t sure he had the answer to. Why had he been “chosen”? What was the deal with Ray and her Iannisene family line? Why was the Empress so convinced they would be able to defeat this highly powerful Mage? How were they supposed to “train” for this battle or whatever it was going to be? How could he possibly do all this. Never mind that he could be killed, but he was expected to save a country. Preposterous, Jon thought. He wasn’t even sure this was real or simply the continuation of what felt like a dream earlier that day. But yet...Jon felt a blink of guilt that he just left the Empress like that. He also felt different now that he wasn’t carrying the Amulet anymore. This is a beautiful country, Jon thought. But I don’t even know these people. They can’t think that I can just come in here and snap my fingers and say, “You’re all free!” It’s not like they even need liberation; this is just a maybe that this guy is even dangerous. Even though Jon knew perfectly well that he was capable of anything given the time and power. Again he considered the hundred foot tall tree he destroyed without even meaning to. But he continued to mull over the redundant thoughts hoping they would make him feel better.

Jon didn’t even notice when he crashed into Ray, who had stopped.

“What is it?”

“I can’t see anything anymore, so I’m getting my flashlight out,” she said and started rummaging through her mini-backpack. It was only then that Jon realized he’d left his backpack in the antechamber of the Gate back in Humboldt. “Damn. I forgot I didn’t even bring it.”

“Wait, didn’t you put the candles in your backpack? The ones we used last night?” he said, then remembered the fire he put out because of one of the candles. He was starting to miss the Amulet now that it wasn’t with him anymore. He wondered briefly whether the Empress might give it to someone else who might want it, but then recalled that she said the Amulet chose him, so that might not even be possible to simply give it away. He brushed that thought aside when he firmly reminded himself that that was what he wanted.

By the time they got the candles lit, the sun was completely gone, and the forest was looking less benign and a lot more foreboding.

“We’d better hurry. It’s already dark here, and it’s going to be past midnight by the time we get back to the Manor,” said Jon.

“My feet hurt.”

“Mine too. Come on, the quicker we go, the quicker we get back.”

“Fine,” said Ray.

They finally got to the top of the slope and could see over the ocean that was now glittering from the rising twin moon’s light. Back toward the north, Norea glowed even more brightly. Jon could imagine Jotea standing on the topmost tower of the castle, looking back at him. After a lot of squinting and blindly feeling around, they found the inlet of trees at the same perfect angle they recognized before. Five minutes later, they were at the doorway to the Chamber of the Gate.

Once Jon closed the door hatch, he could hear wind blowing leaves and forest matter on top of the doorway to conceal it. It gave him the eerie feeling that someone or something was watching them, but knew it was just the way the Gate worked. The fires that went on in the bricked circular room were not only helpful in allowing Jon and Ray to see properly once again, but it was a pleasantly warm change to the chilly night air they had been traveling in the past hour.

Jon and Ray both stepped up to the platform.

“Hey what gives?” said Ray.

The black opaque liquid was not appearing in the basin as it had the time before.

“Maybe it has something to do with this,” Jon said as he approached the obelisk that the Humboldt Gate did not have. On the top of the inclination on the obelisk, there was a round dial. Pointing toward the ceiling was an arrow, and on the dial there were small squares that had pictures on them. The arrow currently pointed to one of several the blank slots. In the little pictograms was one with Greek pillars, one with a stadium-like structure, one with a long wall, and several others with symbols Jon couldn’t tell.

“I bet it’s that one,” said Ray. She pointed to a slot that had a thatched, cylindrical room.

“Has to be,” he said as Ray turned the dial to that particular pictogram.

The pool roared to life in its now-familiar black liquid fluidity.

Ray stared at it a bit hesitantly for a while.

“I know it could be a long-shot, but the longer we stay here contemplating if it’s the right one, the colder it’s going to get in --”

“No. It’s wrong,” she said firmly. She went back to the dial. “Look,” she sad an pointed to another pictogram of a cluster of trees. “Remember what Jotea said about the Glass room being a replica of another one somewhere else?”

“Oh yeah, you’re right.” Jon turned the dial to the tree pictogram. The Gate rippled violently for a second, then returned back to its previous rhythm. “We might have ended up inside a rock or something.”

“I wonder how many of the Gates around the world are still there,” said Ray.

“You wanna find out right now?” Jon said and laughed a little.

“Just shut up and get in.” She strode in the basin.

Jon followed her right in, not as glad as he thought he would have been a few hours ago, leaving this place. But now, it felt like he was leaving a piece of himself there as the room dissolved and reformed into the Chamber they found just half a day prior. Jon had to keep reminding himself that what had happened was not his concern and even if it was, the probability of him doing anything about it was infinitesimal. But the more he repeated to himself those mantras, the more they seemed to just fall flat.

They stepped off the platform and climbed their way up the stone steps that ran up the wall. They lit their candles once more (Jon’s was threatening to become a nub before long), and climbed the ladder. The copper doorway opened and didn’t shut this time, so they heave themselves out into the darkness.

“Come on, Mrs. Jouler’s probably sent the hounds after us,” said Jon, after discerning that they were indeed back in the Humboldt National Forest again.

They walked briskly through the forest and the closer they got, the more they could see the twinkling lights of Arcata getting brighter.

“Why did this seem like it took so much longer to get there?” said Ray in a huff. Clearly her feet were not feeling any better.

“I think we just knew where we were going this time. Let’s just get back okay?”

After another few minutes, they reached the gap in the stonewall and could see the lights from the kitchen. As soon as they stepped onto the patio, Mrs. Jouler came rushing out of the house with her hair in curlers, banging the glass doors on the wall.

“Oh my goodness! It’s one o’clock in the morning! Where have you been? I nearly called the police!”

“We’re sorry, we got sort of...distracted,” said Jon.

“By what? It’s not like you could see anything in this darkness. I know I really shouldn’t worry like this, and technically I can’t impose a curfew, but I can’t really help it, you know.”

“I promise we’ll let you know next time if we stay out late like this again” (Ray scoffed), said Jon.

“Well all right. I’m just looking out for you, that’s all dear.

Jon nodded. He didn’t really want to deal with the pseudo guilt-trip, so he took advantage of the brief silence to give half a smile and went right by Mrs. Jouler into the warm house and up to his room. When he got there, he left the lights off, tossed the candle nub in the garbage can, and sat on his bed, thinking.

“Hey,” said Ray, who was standing at the door.

“I think I want to be alone for a while.”

“Okay. It’s not like I’m going anywhere whenever you’re ready to talk.”

“Thanks,” he said.

Ray left the doorway, and Jon continued his silent contemplation for another several minutes before physical exhaustion won over.

The next day Jon was no less conflicted than the previous evening. He skulked around the Manor in an aimless sort of way, and avoided looking at the carved birds flanking the staircase banister. And every time he looked outside one of the windows in the house that faced the backyard (including his bedroom one), he couldn’t help gazing deep into the forest and a little to the left. At times he thought it was all just a dream, but the meaningful silent looks Ray gave him punched through those thoughts like a wet tissue. And every time he was in view of it, he stared up at the Glass Room that Mrs. Jouler could still apparently not see.

Ray had gone into town to do some shopping and when Mrs. Jouler was doing housework, Jon decided he wasn’t being productive being cooped up in the Manor like this, so he resolved go into town and find something to do, but steer very clear of Scribbles. While driving in his Thunderbird, Jon noticed how pale the sky seemed in comparison to the other country (he didn’t like thinking of it’s proper name because that made the place real, and it was difficult for him to pretend it was all a dream if it’s real). Even the air itself seemed less refreshing and scent-laced.

He parked on the curb and strolled along the most populated part of Arcata. The nearest coffee house caught Jon’s eye, so he went inside. People there were enjoying a nice warm cup of coffee or one of the pastries, or to just listen to a performer as Jon noted the schedule of music sessions behind the counter. The place was called Ole, and was a brown building that Jon was fairly certain used to be someone’s house. At the very least he found that the place would probably be a relaxing distraction for a while, and he needed to get his mind off things.

In Ole, the tables were half full, and a blonde woman was reciting a short story. Jon didn’t recognize any of the people, which granted his previous interactions with the locals, wasn’t such a bad thing. But a middle-aged woman kept glancing at him and looking away when he looked at her. She had long flowing white hair and wore turquoise jewelry. She looked at him through deep eyes and a thin mouth.

He shifted in his chair and tried to ignore her by diverting his attention back to the blonde on the stool in the back of the room. Her voice was soothing and her story about love lost was interesting, but Jon was losing interest in her as his mind was beginning to do the thing he specifically didn’t want it to: wander back in time to the place he didn’t want to remember.

His mind was wandering so much that he apparently didn’t even notice the lady who was looking at him had walked over and sat down at his Jon’s table. Jon nearly jumped out of his chair, but gasped loudly instead, causing the people and the blonde reader to stop and look at him. Jon’s ears burned red as he mumbled a “Sorry,” and everyone went back to the blonde, who was now eyeing Jon in an evil way.

“Can I help you?” Jon whispered, though he was sure his hammering heart could be heard all over the coffee house.

“No. But I can help you,” she whispered with a smile.

“I don’t understand.”

“I know,” she whispered, still smiling.

“I still don’t --”

“You are one who has been,” she said, “to Iannis.”

“Yeah, that’s right.” Jon couldn’t figure out why he answered truthfully.

“You don’t know whether to go back or not, hmm?” she asked.

“Actually...yes.”

“I was in a similar situation. Except I was on the other side, pondering whether to come and stay here.”

“What did you do?” said Jon, leaning in close to her.

“I faced my fears and decided the unknown was better than my pining over whether or not it would be a good decision.”

Jon’s heart fell a little.

“I can’t tell you what to do about your problem, but what I can advise you on is to decide. Don’t think about it too much. You have to do what your heart tells you, and tell your brain to shut up for a second while you’re listening...sometimes your brain talks more loudly than your heart.”

Jon recalled what Jotea said that day to one of the people who attacked him in the square that ‘matters of love’ were best left to the heart. This just confused him more. Who should he consider more? An empress, or an old woman?

“Why don’t you go back?” asked Jon, determined to get some sort of real answer.

“I have gone back. I also have grandchildren here now. My family is here. And so will I be. Not that I won’t go back for a visit every now and then, mind you. But those visits are getting less and less frequent. That trek through the woods is getting longer and longer. Then the journey to Sil Tanik is another day’s journey.”

“To...where?”

The woman smiled at him. “I forget you’ve only just been once. Sil Tanik is one of the oldest cities in Iannis. I’m sure you’ll visit it one day.”

Jon smiled back. She knew about the Gate in the Humboldt forest, and she knew more about Iannis than Jon did.

“I must be off,” she said. “She’s lucky to have you.”

“Who’s lucky?”

But the woman only smiled again. She leaned in closer, put her finger to her lips and said, “Shh.” She winked at him, and Jon saw her dissolve in coalescing puffs of smoke. No one except Jon seemed to notice though. They all continued to stare at the woman reciting, who was now reading with the same zeal as before Jon’s interruption.

Jon let his mind wonder. All his life, his experiences were fairly cut and dry. His parents always helped him with decisions, and he never really worried about making a life-changing decision except for college, which wasn’t anything he had to really consider -- he knew all along he’d leave after he graduated. He never had to make a decision that could effect thousands of people. Still, the situation kept creeping back and Jon kept swinging back and forth between the impossibility of him fighting himself, and the way Jotea acted so convinced he was their savior of sorts.

The sun was still high in the sky, and the bright, cheery library was just across the street from Ole, so Jon ventured inside and thought he might pick up a book. The librarian he and Ray met a few days prior was still there at the information desk, chatting away with a patron she was helping. Jon took the long way around the desk. He liked her, but he didn’t really want her to start asking questions about their research.

He wasn’t inside the library two minutes before someone was making a ruckus. Fortunately for Jon, this time, it was not about him.

“I daresay I don’t know HOW my books are late,” said a woman at the circulation desk with a sarcastic smile.

“According to our records, you returned your items two days after the due date. You owe us seven dollars, Miss Kirkland.”

Miss Kirkland began ruffling in her purse. She was a tall woman, about the same age as Mrs. Jouler, with an elaborate curly bun at the back of her head, a pointed nose and very crisp clothes. Bringing out a slip of paper, she put it neatly on the desk facing the clerk.

“I think you’ll find your computer is incorrect,” she said without looking at the clerk

“Ma’am, we --” the clerk said, but as she read the receipt, she widened her eyes and looked at the receipt, then the pile of books Miss Kirkland had returned. “You’re...right,” she said in disbelief. “I’ll go get my supervisor so he can waive these fines.”

“Excellent,” said Miss Kirkland. She continued to stand straight up and looked around curiously at the library as if she’d never been in one before. She caught Jon looking at her, and she inclined her head to him.

“Good day to you,” she said.

“Hi, I’m Jon,” said Jon, feeling she should know his name because he knew her last.

“Esmerelda Kirkland,” she said. “I hope all your library materials are on time.”

“Usually, yeah,” said Jon.

“Good. Mine are as well. I never miss a deadline. Their computers are not accurate here, it would seem. We would do well not to trust them so much.”

“Okay,” Jon said, not sure how to respond.

Esmerelda reached in her purse again and pulled out a golden pen and held it in her right hand. As he caught a glimmer of the light reflected in the gold, Jon distinctly heard a very musical note play. He shook his head for a second. Esmerelda Kirkland seemed to catch notice and put the pen away. The resonance of the note disappeared, and Esmerelda surveyed Jon for a moment before the supervisor of the desk appeared and Esmerelda returned her full attention to the desk. She continued the conversation as if the supervisor was there all the time.

“So I wondered why these fines are on my account if clearly they were not late,” she said.

“Let me see, let me see,” the balding man said as he scanned the computer screen.

Esmerelda gave Jon a look that clearly conveyed the thought that he might have been a moron. Jon smiled at her.

“Oh here it is...we forgot to override the due date to reflect the weekend,” the man said.

“Clearly,” said Esmerelda, still not looking at him.

“I’ll just go ahead and take that off there, get those fines waived...” said the supervisor.

“I should hope so,” said Esmerelda.

The supervisor clicked on his computer several times and Esmerelda waited patiently.

“All done!” said the supervisor. “Sorry about that.”

“Not at all,” said Esmerelda. She gathered her belongings and walked out the door, her body perfectly vertical.

Jon didn’t know why, but he had this urge to follow her outside. Considering all that had happened to him, he couldn’t figure out why he was so compelled to do this, but he found himself carried by his feet out the door behind Esmerelda Kirkland. She was already mounting her bike with a large pink basket attached to the front of it.

“Miss Kirkland?” said Jon.

She turned to face him, her face inscrutable. “Yes?”

He had no idea what he wanted to say to her, he just knew he somehow needed to know this person. “Um, hello.”

“Good day,” she said.

“Beautiful day,” said Jon, feeling rather stupid.

“Quite. I’m sorry young man, but if you would kindly get to the point...I have an appointment in a few minutes and I am never late.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I suppose I just wanted to say...well done inside there.”

Esmerelda grinned at Jon. “Well thank you, Jon. It’s a gift that runs in the family. In any case, good-bye young man. Something tells me we shall be seeing each other again soon.”

“Have a nice day,” Jon said.

Esmerelda Kirkland inclined her head toward him, and took off on her bicycle with her skirts flailing behind her in a most organized fashion.

Jon returned to Oak Tree Manor no surer of what to do, but feeling a great deal better. He’d run into two total strangers and not had a psychotic episode, and one of which knew about Iannis. That at least warmed him up to the subject more, because thus far, all he seemed to have were negative encounters with the place.

Ray came back a few hours later, laden with shopping bags and talking incessantly about what she purchased. Jon even got a miniature fashion show as she spread out all her new items on her bed and started matching them up together. Jon had no clue what was going on or what was supposed to look good, so he just nodded once in a while as his mind wandered elsewhere.

That night, Jon had a dream that he remembered quite vividly the next morning. He recounted the tale to Ray the next morning over a bowl of cereal.

“So I was wandering through some kind of field, and it was nighttime. I was looking for something.”

“What?”

“I dunno, that’s why I was wandering,” said Jon. “There was something weird in the air, like something urgent was going to happen, or happening. Then I heard a child crying, a baby. And then I heard crackling. You know, like a fire crackles in a fireplace?”

“I’ve heard fire before,” said Ray, clearly not quite totally awake yet.

“I rounded a bend, and saw a small cottage up in a blaze of fire, but the fire was strange. It wasn’t like regular orange, yellow and red fire. It was...like black fire, almost purple but still giving off light. I rushed inside and looked around. I finally found a baby in a back room, in a corner, crying. I grabbed it and covered it best I could.”

“How heroic,” said Ray.

“The fire was all around now, but they didn’t seem to hurt me; I wasn’t burned and there wasn’t any smoke. And when I got back outside, my clothes were perfectly fine, not even singed.”

“I want clothes that can do that.”

“Then the baby disappeared from my arms and reappeared ten feet away, it giggled at me, then I looked back at the cottage which was still on fire. By then the baby was gone. The cottage then collapsed. But out from the rubble, a figure came out. He was wearing a long robe and he was standing perfectly straight up and wasn’t hurt. The fire didn’t bother him. He walked over to me, and the figure...was me.”

Ray stopped eating her cereal and looked at him. “It was...you?”

“Yeah. I was wearing all black, and my eyes and hair were all black.”

“You were totally goth.”

“Basically, yeah,” said Jon. “But I looked weird... my face looked crazy, like a lunatic. Then I just smiled at myself calmly. And that was even more scary. But it wasn’t...him. It wasn’t Ignus,” Jon added, anticipating Ray’s next question. “Then the other me laughed like a crazy person. He held out his hand to the sky, and a black ball of fire the size of a basketball appeared. He whipped around and instantly threw it at the wreckage of the cottage. It disintegrated to nothing more than a pile of ashes, then he laughed again.”

“But then a bird screeched and cut him off. Up in the sky was a big bird, like the one that flew into my chest.”

“Cool,” said Ray.

“It had the same red fire coming from its tail, and it scared the other me. And for some reason, that was comforting. The other me shot out another one of those fireballs at the flying bird. It hit it, but didn’t do anything to the bird. It then flew down at the other me, and the other me screamed as they connected, and the bird became this thing of light, shooting out from everywhere. It was all light...it looked like a slow-motion crystal bird all lit up.”

Ray waited for another second. “And?”

“And what? That was it. I woke up and my heart was pounding.”

“That’s not a very good way to end a story like that. What happened to the other you?”

“I think the evil me was consumed by the phoenix.”

“Kinky,” said Ray and she went back to her cereal. “Ugh, I hate corn flakes.”

Jon wasn’t thinking about cereal. When he woke up from the dream, he couldn’t go back to sleep, and that was at five thirty in the morning; an hour he wasn’t usually conscious. Then all the encounters from the previous day flooded back into his memory, specifically the chance meeting with the two women; one in the cafe, and the other in the library. They both somehow seemed to know about Iannis, and about Jon, though Esmerelda Kirkland hadn’t let on that she did. Was Eureka full of Mages and he just couldn’t tell? And how could they find him and he couldn’t seem to locate them?

Later in the day, Jon went back to the place he’d been avoiding for the past twenty-four hours, the Glass room. He found it ironic that now that he and Ray had access to the room, he’d been staying away whereas just before they’d found it, he would have given anything to discover its secret. He looked over the room once inside it. Why did Ray have to notice it that day? Jon knew it wasn’t her fault, though. He was sure it had happened for a reason, and soon after they did discover it.

He sat himself down (not on the chairs because he feared they might collapse if someone even looked at them for too long) on the dusty blue marble floor, facing the forest. A nice breeze was ruffling the branches Jon could see through the broken pane of glass. It was quite relaxing. Jon tried to contort himself into the lotus position and tried to meditate, but he couldn’t keep all the thoughts about what had happened to him at bay, and he remembered reading somewhere that meditating was supposed to be a clearing of the mind.

Jon’s semi-trance was broken by the great, carved oak door opening and closing again. He didn’t need to turn around to figure out it was Ray. Eyes now open, Ray almost sat down on the floor, but saw the dust and sat on her heels instead, facing him.

“Hi,” was all he could think of saying.

“Hey,” she said in her usual scratchy baritone.

“Nice day, isn’t it?” he said, looking around at the sky through the glass.

“Sure is.”

“So...”

“What are doing up here, sitting like that?” Ray wasn’t one to mince words.

“I was just -- thinking.”

“About?”

“You know what about.”

“No, I’m not sure I do anymore,” she said, moving her head from side to side, peering at him out of a different eye in each turn.

“Yes, you do. I was thinking about that place -- Iannis -- and how we -- I -- just made us leave like that. I mean, we weren’t even sitting down listening to her for twenty minutes.”

“Hey, I could have stayed, you know. You were right when you left. It was a lot to take in all in one shot. It wasn’t sinking in as fast for me as it was for you. But when it did, I wanted out, too. Save a country? Stop a lunatic? I mean, really?”

Jon felt relief wash over him like a hot shower. Part of his dilemma was that Jon thought he acted unilaterally and unfairly when he just walked out and was sure Ray wouldn’t have stayed by herself there, so he felt like he had done her a wrong by just leaving without even asking her.

“Oh, well...I apologize anyhow,” he said.

“Well stop. I was just as uncomfortable as you. I don’t even know what I want to do for a living yet and we’re supposed to do all this?”

“I know how you feel.”

Ray gave him a disbelieving look.

“What?” he said.

“You’re not sure? I thought you wanted to hug trees.”

“Botanist,” Jon said. “But I’m not totally sure if I want to do that anymore.”

“You could have fooled me. You always seem so together and...focused on what you want to do.”

“Yeah well, things aren’t always what they seem.”

“Tell me about it,” said Ray. She then took out a compact and started powdering her nose in an exaggerated fashion, clearly poking fun at herself. Jon thought it was very big of her to do that, so he laughed politely.

“So what should we do now?” asked Jon when she put her compact away.

“I don’t know. You?”

“I was thinking we should maybe...go back?”

Ray raised her eyebrows at him.

“Yeah I know. I’m really weird, but I’ve been thinking a lot these past couple of days, and I had that really freaky dream I told you about this morning.”

“Oh yeah, the baby-burning dream.”

“Yeah. But I don’t think it was all about that.”

“You know Freud thinks that dreams are all sexual.”

Jon frowned. “That’s really kinda gross.”

“I know right. But I also heard that you represent everyone in your dreams.”

“That’s what scares me. I saved the kid, but I saw like a specter of myself. It was just like when we saw Ignus in that mirror at the castle. But in the dream, the second me wasn’t old like he is...he was my age.”

“What do you think it all means?”

“I’m not entirely sure. But I think one part is clear. I caused that fire at the cottage. It was and will be me.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m almost positive. Somehow, sometime, I’m going to turn into that...person...with all that power. I can’t let that happen. And I’m sure as hell won’t let him get away with hurting innocent people, especially when it’s me doing it.”

“You’re a good man, Jonathan,” said Ray. She put her hands on each side of his face.

“Yeah, apparently I don’t stay very good for very much longer,” Jon said bitterly and broke eye contact.

“The fact that you’re willing to see and face your own faults makes you damned good,” she said.

“It’s also a fact that I’m responsible for the misery I cause and will cause that country. I can’t believe I was so selfish and just ran away like that.”

“You got scared of the unknown. You’re not exactly a unique case, you know.”

“I still feel bad.”

Ray didn’t know how to react to this, so she just sat there, silent.

“I’ve never had to face anything like this,” said Jon, “where I have to make amends for something so huge, yet I’m still not sure what to do.”

“Maybe you just need more time.”

“No. Time is the one thing neither they nor we --” he began but didn’t finish. He was reminded of a quote, and recited it while looking out the window. “‘When you cannot make up your mind between two evenly balanced courses of action, choose the bolder’.”

“How did you come up with that so fast?” said Ray, astonished.

“I didn’t. It’s a quote from W.J. Slim.”

“Oh.”

“But it’s telling me what I have to do,” Jon said, looking back at Ray. “I’m going back. The Empress said we need to train or something like that. Now I intend to do so. If I can use that Amulet against Ignus, then so be it. Even if we don’t win this battle, I’m gonna give it a go,” he said with new resolve.

Ray smiled at him. “I was wondering when you were going to say that. But this training or whatever, how long is it going to take?”

“I dunno. Days...weeks maybe.”

“What are we going to tell the old bat?”

“Hmm...we could tell her we’re going to...my family that lives in San Jose for a few weeks maybe.”

“You don’t have any family up here.”

"She doesn’t know that,” Jon said.

Ray snorted. “You’re starting to sound like me.” She gave another booming laugh and slapped Jon on the leg.

The only other question that remained was where they were going to put Jon’s car so it wouldn’t be bothered for almost a month. They decided that an easier way would be to take the train to San Jose and pretend to cab it to the train station. They informed Mrs. Jouler of their alibi, and she believed it, and after warning them about the start of the semester, saw them off at the front steps as they got into a taxi.

They had the taxi take them down to the end of the street then stop and let them out. They took out their bags (which were empty anyway) and began circling the twenty-acre property. When they got to Oak Tree’s backyard, they hid amongst the tree line at the back of the property and peered inside with binoculars.

Mrs. Jouler was in the dining room, fixing up the table. They waited outside for twenty minutes before remembering that she hardly ever leaves the house, and when she does, it’s only to garden and shop. Since it was not her time to do either of those things, Jon and Ray decided to forget trying to sneak their bags back into their rooms and just leave them at the Gate antechamber -- no one else knew about the thing and that was about as safe a place as they could think of.

They got to the copper door less than half an hour later since by now, they knew almost exactly where they were going. Since they knew what they were doing this time, getting through the Gate was done easily enough, and just a few minutes after they materialized on the other side, they were once again up the ladder looking into an indigo sky once more. Jon felt enormously better now that they were actually in Iannis once again though he couldn’t exactly pinpoint why, but the feeling that he knew what they had to do helped somewhat. It felt right.

The country was just as pristine as they’d left it. To Jon’s relief, Norea was just as intact as it was a few days ago. He had had horrible visions of the city on fire, or in complete ruins with a cackling madman running amok in the rubble. It looked as though they were not too late.

This time, when the two of them were walking up the main street of the city, and through the town square, some of the citizens actually applauded and cheered them. Some, not all. Ray, of course, rose to the occasion and began a mechanical wrist-only wave as if she was in a parade as the queen. She was beaming at them.

“You know,” Jon began, “modesty is a virt --”

“Shut up,” she said without breaking her glittering smile.

“It’s not like we’ve done anything, you know.”

“We came back didn’t we? To them, it’s enough. They can’t get enough of me,” she said.

“They must be easily pleased.”

A sharp jab in the ribs was his response from Ray.

Fortunately, a friendly onlooker offered them a complimentary ride to the castle on a hovercraft. It was much like the one they had ridden in before, but they were individual ones and the man who helped them operate them accompanied them the four-mile trek to the castle.

Once they reached the gates, they didn’t even need to knock on the massive doors; they opened on their own. Just inside the courtyard, stood Empress Jotea, beaming at them -- the first time Jon had ever seen her smile so broadly. She looked much different from the way they had left her just two days prior. She looked happy and glad to see them. Jon thought the new disposition made her even more beautiful. This was also no time to be coy. They had work to do.