Panthera Spelaea

I didn’t hold Svetlana’s hand as we drove, and I could see how it hurt her when I helped her out of Marina’s car then let her hand go again. I couldn’t help myself; my whole world just got turned upside down, shaken, then smashed on the rocks. I was numb, barely able to be around her, and touching her brought pain and guilt.

How had I been so gullible? My mind went back to that night she showed up at the hotel bar. In hindsight, I should have known better than to believe her. Viktor knew where I was, and she must have told him how successful she’d been in gaining my confidence. Hell, even her outrage about the surveillance in the hospital room must have been a setup. It made him the bad guy, and Svetlana my friend and protector. The iron fist hadn’t worked, so the velvet glove was next. Viktor sending a beautiful nurse in to seduce a lonely young man? Easy.

I wondered how long she had been working undercover for the CID. Svetlana told me the hospital treated the political and business elite of Russia. That was a tempting target for investigators and spies alike. I looked over at her as we followed Marina off the elevator. You had to be one cold-blooded bitch with Oscar-level acting talent to be so believable in a seduction. She’d made me fall for her, and I hadn’t suspected a thing.

And if she was an agent, was Anna as well? The questions ran through my head as Marina led us to her office and shut the door behind us.

“John?” Svetlana was standing in front of me as I sat in the chair. “John, what happened in there?”

I bit back the angry retort and went for calm. “Svetlana, if that is your real name? Do you have anything to get off your chest?”

Her jaw dropped, and she stared at me. “You’re scaring me, John! What is going on?” Oscar-worthy acting.

Marina dropped the bomb for me. “Viktor gave you up, Miss Sevastyano. He revealed during the interrogation that you were an undercover agent for the Criminal Investigation Division.”

Svetlana looked at her, then me, before falling back into her chair. She was shaking her head as her mind processed what Marina said. She looked at me with tears falling down her cheeks. “And you BELIEVED him? That’s why you’re acting this way?” I didn’t say anything, but I stared at her with contempt. “I’ve never been anything but a nurse, John. I love you, and I thought you loved me. I can see I was mistaken.” She stood up, barely holding herself together. “I’ll have your things packed up. You can contact Anna to pick them up.”

I watched her, my heart breaking into tiny pieces as she stumbled towards the door. Marina got up and went after her, holding her as she broke down in sobs. I was confused; I hated her, yet I wanted to kiss and comfort her. Deep inside my soul, I started to doubt myself and what I believed.

Questions raced through my head. What evidence did I have of her being an undercover agent except for Viktor’s word? Could I trust anything Viktor said? What if he was doing it to hurt me and drive Svetlana away from me?

And how the heck could I let him put a wedge between us?

I was a fucking IDIOT.

I started to panic, knowing that if she walked out that door, I’d lose her forever. “WAIT,” I said as I got up and ran after them. Marina let Svetlana go, standing to the side. “Svetlana, my head is all messed up right now. My heart doesn’t want you to leave. Please, come back in, and let’s talk this through. I don’t want to risk what we have without knowing the truth.”

She looked up at me through tear-filled eyes. “You’ve already decided on your truth, John. How am I supposed to prove I’m NOT an agent?” Marina handed her a tissue, and she wiped her eyes. “It’s better this way. It will hurt, but our relationship is new enough that we will get over it.” She turned for the door, softly saying, “Eventually.”

I quickly moved to block her. “No!” I took her cheeks in my hands, my thumbs wiping the tears away. “Look in my eyes and tell me you are on my side, no matter what.”

“I love you, John. I’ve always been on your side.” Her eyes didn’t lie, and my nose confirmed only her love and her anger.

She was innocent, and she was MINE.

I leaned down and kissed her. It started tentatively on her part but quickly escalated. I wrapped her in my arms as she moaned in pleasure, her mouth opening to mine. I deepened the kiss as her hands moved to my neck and the back of my head, pulling me close. When we finally came up for air, I put my forehead on hers. “I’m sorry, Svetlana. I should have known better, and I should have trusted you.”

“Damn right you should have,” she said as she smacked my chest. “Viktor is a snake. I wouldn’t trust him as far as I can throw him.”

I picked Svetlana up and carried her back into Marina’s office, setting her in my lap as Marina went to her chair. “She is right about Viktor. Logically, there was no other reason for him to say that other than to hurt you.”

“What do you mean?”

She sat back in her chair. “Imagine for a minute that you’re an investigator, and you’ve managed to place a confidential informant next to your target. You’ve spent weeks getting access and gaining trust. She’s supplying you the inside information you can’t get anywhere else. When would you disclose that she is an agent?”

“At trial?”

“Maybe. No earlier than your arrest and charging, and only when the prosecution has to disclose evidence and prosecution witnesses. Before they do, the informant will be recalled and protected so you can’t retaliate against her.”

It started to make sense. Viktor hadn’t treated her like an agent at all. “Then why?”

“To do what almost happened to us,” Svetlana said. “To sow doubt and suspicion, to break us up.”

Marina nodded. “Viktor wants you isolated and alone. He’s got you here in a city that you don’t know that speaks a language you don’t understand. Svetlana gives you an anchor, a translator, a friend, an advocate, and a lover. It also complicates his surveillance efforts. It’s harder to bug your home since Anna is on a different schedule.”

“Viktor is getting desperate,” I concluded. “He’s trying to force me to make a mistake.”

“I agree,” Marina said. “You were seconds away from a huge mistake.”

I pulled Svetlana a little tighter in my arms. “What do we do now?”

“We could do a little acting of our own,” Marina said. “Let Viktor think it worked. John goes back to a hotel, and Svetlana walks out of here looking like her heart just got ripped out. You know they are watching.”

“I can’t do that to her,” I said. Not only was it cruel to be apart from her right now, but I needed the two nurses to watch over me. “We’re going home.”

“I have to warn you that Viktor won’t stop trying to hurt you through Svetlana,” Marina said. “Anna too. He could threaten their work, their finances, even their housing to drive you apart.”

“I’m innocent, Marina, and eventually, Viktor’s going to have to accept that,” I said. “Meanwhile, I’m hungry, and my dinner is still down in your car. I want to go home, eat dinner with my love, and make up for how much of an idiot I’ve been today.”

“I like that plan,” Svetlana said.

“Take this with you,” Marina said as she handed me a small black device from out of her drawer. “It’s a bug detector.”

“Should I destroy any I find?”

“Better to leave them alone and not say anything around them. Have any incriminating conversations elsewhere.” That made sense. If I destroy them, they’ll just put them back and make them harder to find. “I’ll have my assistant drive you home.” She made a quick call to arrange that. “Keep your eyes open and call me if Viktor tries anything else.”

“Thank you,” I said as I set Svetlana on her feet.

I didn’t let go of her hand until we finished making love in her bed.