Palindrome

There was a polite cough, making me jump and step back from William.

“William, we`re waiting for you, if you`re quite finished?”

His mother, or stepmother rather, stood with her hands down her side and with an emotionless face, purposedly not looking at us. William didn’t flinch, he just answered her coolly.

“Yes, mother. I`m quite finished, I guess.”

I wanted to reach for him when he turned, but I couldn’t, could I? It was so wrong, I had more important things to think about than my twisted love-life. Nevertheless, I felt my heart shatter as I watched him walk away, back to his family of murderers.

I was halfway home when I remembered my bike, but I didn’t care. With each step I muttered “I`m ok” to myself, trying to make it happen. For once, the house seemed foreign, it felt wrong somehow. Maybe it was me who had changed, could a broken heart change your soul? Of course, it can, I chastised myself, just look at all the poems and books about heartbreaks and love not fulfilled. The days after my parent’s funeral had been the worst in my life, I`d survived that, I would survive this. All the books in the library reminded me that it wasn’t the heartbreak I had to survive, it was the family of Beasts who wanted to torture me and drain me for knowledge I didn’t have. How come I didn’t know Eve and Lilith were sisters? It made sense in a way. Was there more crucial information I lacked?

I had just made myself a cup of tea when someone knocked on the door. I hesitated, I was so tired, I didn`t want anymore drama. More knocking – I groaned and walked over to open the door.

The man standing there was in his fifties, handsome and fit, with a trimmed beard and silvery hair. He looked me up and down and I could see tears forming in his eyes.

“Hannah, sweetheart. Look at you, all grown up. I`m so sorry I haven’t been around.” Hearing his voice, I realised how much I`d missed him and I slung myself into his open arms, crying like a little girl.

He patted my back but let me cry, just holding me till I calmed down. At last, I wiped my snotty face and apologised.

“Samuel, I didn’t mean to cry all over you. I just… I have missed you.”

Seeing him here brought forward so many memories of mom and dad, adding to the emotional day I`d had.

“Missed you too, kid. Sarah and Bridget send their love, they`re so sorry they couldn’t come with me.”

I shook my head, “That`s ok, although I would have loved to see them. I don’t want more than necessary around.”

Samuel frowned by my statement and took my arm. “Seems we have a lot too talk about.”

I made him a cup of tea first, he stood staring at the pictures on the wall when I came back from the kitchen. “I miss them so much, a great loss to the witch-community, and to me personally.” Samuel cleared his throat and turned to me to take the mug. “So, little Hannah. Tell me everything.”

I omitted some parts, but I let it shine through what had happened between me and William, and the things I`d learned about the Adamson`s.

Samuel closed his eyes in horror when I told him about the stand-off earlier. “Hannah, they could have killed you so easily, what were you thinking?”

I deflated, “I don’t know, I just knew I needed to do something about it. Tell me honestly, how much of this is known?”

Samuel leaned back in the sofa and stared at the roof.

“Too little. We knew someone were targeting witches, but we never had enough to say for sure what they wanted. We have always received hatred, so they`ve had no problems in finding people to stand in the first line of killing, while they hid in the shadows. And to think that you`ve stumbled across them in your little safe town.”

My voice was uncertain when I answered.

“I`m not entirely sure that it is just a coincidence. George have mentioned my mother a couple of times, and I had a vision. I think I was one of my ancestors, meeting a Beast in these woods. Meaning they`ve been here before, and they knew witches lived here.”

Samuel looked at me, studying me.

“Do you think your parents…?” He didn’t finish the sentence; I shook my head fast.

“No, no, it was obviously a car-accident. I saw the car, even though I didn’t get to see the bodies.” My voice cracked at the word. “I rather got the feeling George liked my mother. And I know they can get attracted to us, despite their claim to hate.” William flashed before my eyes, making my stomach drop.

“OK, then I`ll do some research. If you could end this without anymore killing, that would be good.” He stood and looked around, “Can I stay here for a couple of days?”

“As long as you want to.”

I wanted to handle this for myself, I wanted the distraction from my broken heart, but I felt my whole self relax seeing Samuel here, promising to help me.

Samuel picked up a book from one of my piles, “I guess you`ve looked through everything here?” I nodded, “Yes, I haven’t found anything other than some images which are similar to the beast.”

He looked up fast, “Image of the Beast? Can I see them?”

I found the folder and opened it up on the page with the Beast and the woman. Samuel studied it closely and I saw a small shutter ran through him. “It`s like straight out of a scary story, but it too has value, as every other living creature. There must be a plan to them somehow.”

I remembered the words the Goddess had said to me under the ritual. Fate was a part of it all, I just wanted to know my part in the mess.

When I woke the next morning, Samuel had already made breakfast. I helped myself to some toast and coffee, while he was reading the book with the prophecy.

“I hate prophecies, they`re often so vague you can twist and turn them to whatever you like. When is the last day? Flesh rising? Your dad and I never did find out anymore. But there were some signs in the times, hinting to the Bible`s version of the last days. Maybe I can piece together some more, now that you have more information about the Beasts.”

I smiled at him, so happy he was here, easing some of the burden from my shoulders. “What do you want me to do? I have the day off, I`m all yours.” He smiled back at me, sensing my relief, I guess.

“I was thinking about the visions you told me about, seems the Goddess speak easily to you. We need to help her some on the way, but only if you`re feeling strong enough to do such a ritual.”

I swallowed, “You want me to do an invocation? Of whom?”

The few times the Goddess had possessed me was disturbing. His steel-grey eyes locked on to mine, “We need to go to the source, we need Lilith.”

When I did invocation during the “drawing down the moon” ritual, I was protected by the moon and the preparations. I had never done one in daylight or without the full moon. “Do you want me to do it now?”

“No, we`ll wait for dark at least. You just relax today, gather some strength, this will be hard on your body. Maybe do some meditation and do not eat anything more.”

I did as he said and spent the day in my room. Samuel was away most of the day, leaving me to the silent house. When the clock neared five in the evening, I`d had enough, I needed fresh air. I didn’t want to go out in the backyard, too many memories of the first time with William, so I went to sit on the front-porch instead. The crisp air did wonders to my state of mind. I would get the answers I needed, and we would all be fine.

“Hannah, dear. Are you asleep sitting down?”

Mrs Jensen interrupted my pep-talk, but I couldn’t get mad at her.

“Just enjoying the evening, Mrs Jensen!”

She waved for me, “You look tired, why don’t you come over for some biscuits and tea?”

I hesitated, not the best timing, but maybe that would hold her away tonight so she wouldn’t disturb the ritual. I smiled a bit tired and nodded, brushing off my jeans as I stood. “I`ll be right over.”

Because of the fence I had to go down to the road and up her driveway, I tried not to look after a black Mustang. There was, of course, nothing to see.

The sweet, old lady held the door open for me, and I walked inside her small, cozy kitchen smelling of freshly baked goods.

“I remember you liked these as a child, I hope you haven’t grown out of that?”

I shook my head and grabbed two at once, trying to not think about everything else going on.

Mrs Jensen rattled on about all and nothing, gossiping about people in town. I didn’t really pay attention until she mentioned Adamson. I sat up, more alert. “What, you`ve been to their house?”

She nodded, smiling secretly while eating a cake. “I clean there once a week; I was there yesterday after the party. My, so many fine people, I felt like I was visiting royalties in their castle. That George sure is a distinguished Gentleman, don`t you agree?” I made a non-committal sound and motioned for her to continue. “And all those old books, they must be great Christians with so many Bibles.” A small laughter slipped out, but I managed to disguise it as a cough. She looked sternly at me before continuing. “And the kids, so lovely, and so much respect for their parents. Would you believe it was Mr Adamson`s sixtieth birthday? He looks so young and fit. Drink up, child, you need some strength. You look like you`ve lost weight.”

I took the mug and drank the bitter tea, thinking I should give her some recipes which tasted better. “Like I said, good Christians, we need more of them, so many strange things people believe in these days. Good enough to believe in Satan, but the ones WORSHIPPING him? Monster, I tell you, monsters.”

Where was she going with all this? I didn’t know she was so devout Christian, she`d never said anything to us, even though she knew we weren’t church goers.

“That`s why I had to do what he asked me for, I can`t live with myself knowing you`re facing eternity in Hell.”

I furrowed my brows; my mind was hazy, and I didn’t understand what she meant.

“Wh…What are you talking about?” My tongue felt swollen, I had a hard time forming the words.

“Someone needs to save you, dearest. George, Mr Adamson, told me he would love to help you.”

The realisation hit my head like a ton of bricks, I saw her eyes gleam.

“You know, I knew God was looking after me when he gave Tom that disease. The medication is quite strong, and he didn’t notice I put more and more in his morning-tea. I was so sick and tired of him running around after other women.”

Tom was her late husband, he`d died when I was a small child, I couldn’t really remember him. Her face was swimming in front of me, her voice fading in and out. What an idiot I was.

“So I know how these works, don’t worry; you`re far away from a deadly dose, you`ll just wake up with a headache and Jesus in your heart.”