Outliers

I will never be somebody else’s. I will always be either entirely yours, or completely my own. There is nothing else that I will ever find beyond you and I.

- S.L. Gray

“Shit!”

It was the first thing I heard as Thane and I had returned to the main house. Nero was the one to greet us at the door, eyebrows raising so high they all but disappeared into his curls.

He was on me before I’d stepped more than one foot inside, wide eyed with a hand reaching towards me; towards my bare neck where Thane’s mark lay fresh on my tender skin. An inch before his fingers could touch me, Thane was capturing his slender wrist in a bruising grip.

Nero barely even glanced up at Thane, despite the older wolf’s fierce glare and the tension coiling in Thane’s body, admiring me with a cheek dimpling grin.

“I was wondering where you had vanished off to. Now I know,” Nero said with a laugh. He took a step back, palms open in surrender, and Thane wordlessly and reluctantly released his grip on Nero. In a stage whisper, Nero said, “I expect to be told all about this, in horrendously graphic detail this evening.”

“Yeah, that’s not going to happen,” I scoff, easily pushing past him so we could actually get inside the house. No matter how many times Sandra and he had pushed for ‘gossip’, I wouldn’t indulge their nosiness. Explaining my sexual exploits with Thane, Sandra’s Alpha and ex-lover, was not something I was eager to do.

Nero followed me without missing a beat, seeming unbothered by the burning narrow-eyed stare Thane had locked onto him as he watched the two of us interact.

“Gods, you’re always holding out on me. Wait… am I the first to know you’re marked now? I feel so honoured,” Nero said, with false emotion welling in his voice as he held a hand to his chest.

“Yes, Nero,” I sighed, “You’re the first to know. Not because I wanted you to know first, but purely because you were waiting for me by the door like a lonely pup.” Of course, Nero would be who I told first, anyway. He was easily my closest friend, but I wouldn’t tell him that. Not when the nature of our friendship was a lot of insults and feigned irritation with one another.

“Well, Sandra’s busy and my uncles being a dick. Who else am I meant to hang out with?”

“Sandra’s busy?” Thane said, a frown furrowed across his brows. He pressed up behind me, an arm curling around my waist, and anchored me to him. The contact between us, so soon after our marking, had my cheeks flushing with the memories of what had just occurred in the water.

Nero, noticing this, coughed pointedly, fixing me with a wicked, knowing grin.

I did my best to ignore his teasing, as I always did. Arching my neck to look at Thane instead, I noted his frown.

I wasn’t sure why Thane seemed surprised. Sandra was always busy. If she wasn’t teaching the trainees, she was teaching the enforcers or out hunting for the pack. And I knew she loved to focus on stealth and tracking when the sky grew darker and wolves had to rely less on their sight and more on their other sense to navigate the territory. It wouldn’t be unheard of for her to be teaching a group right now, despite how late it was getting.

“Javier is awake,” Nero clarified, shooting me a glance. “She and Lorcan are with him right now. Adriels in your office waiting for you.”

Ah, I had almost forgotten about that.

“I see.” Thane’s mouth flattened. He turned his attention to me. “Are you wanting to join me? Wanting to speak to Javier?”

“No, I’m good,” I said, wrinkling my nose at the prospect of seeing Javier again so soon. The idea of seeing him at all left my stomach in knots. I’d seen enough of the traitorous male for a lifetime. And The memory of Riley, so scared and vulnerable in his arms, was now present in the forefront of my mind. If I saw Javier again, I wasn’t sure how I would react.

It was probably best I kept my distance.

Thane captured my mouth in a quick but heated kiss, catching me entirely by surprise, before pulling back to offer Nero a wary glance and disappeared into the upper levels of the house.

“Well, someone’s feeling the effects of the bond. He’s not usually so possessive,” Nero mused, when Thane was far enough away to not hear him - though I knew Thane’s senses were sharper than most wolves, than most Alpha’s, so perhaps he could hear him.

“Does the marking really make the bond that much stronger?” I asked, with a frown, glancing upwards, as if I could see Thane through the ceiling and floorboards. I didn’t mention Thane’s pre-existing jealously of Nero and I’s relationship, and that the only difference now was that he apparently wasn’t hiding it.

“You don’t feel any different now?” Nero lead us out of the middle of the hallway, towards the lounge. We hadn’t spent much time in there; usually when I was with Nero or Sandra, we were in the kitchen or my bedroom. And when I wasn’t spending time with them, I was with Thane.

“What do you mean?”

The lounge was empty, with no sign of any enforcers nearby at all. I could faintly hear some chatter in the kitchen on the other side of the house, but most wolves, it seemed, were out and about. I really needed to meet everyone soon, or at least learn some names. So far, the only enforcers I knew with any familiarity were Taron and Zahra.

Nero stalked over to claim the window seat, patting the open spot next to him. “I don’t know, do you… do you feel powerful? More at peace? Do you feel like an Alpha wolf? Do you feel more territorial of Harris?”

“I-what? Why would I feel territorial?” I curled up beside him, knees pressed to my chest as I rested my head against the cool glass of the window.

“Isn’t that what a marking does?” Nero mused, eyeing me up as if he expected me to look different. “I don’t know. I just assumed you’d feel different. I thought you’d feel stronger maybe, like Harris’ wolfy strength merged with yours or some shit.”

“Wolfy strength?” I laughed. “What are you talking about? Are you getting enough sleep? Do you need a nap or a strong cup of coffee?”

“Oh, fuck off,” Nero said, shoving my shoulder. “So you don’t feel any different, then? Aren’t you officially the pack Alpha now? You don’t feel stronger at all? You don’t feel… one with the pack?”

“Not really,” I shrug. “It’s not like being marked has changed my feelings towards him at all. I still love him as much as I did before. And physically, I feel exactly the same.”

I wonder if the bond had changed for Thane? Did he feel stronger?

“Love him, ay?” Nero said, a coy smile curving slowly across his face, looking every bit the cheeky teenager he was. “You never told me things had got so serious. You’ve been holding out on me, you bitch.”

“We’re mates, of course it’s serious,” I said, brushing off his comments as my cheeks burned.

“Yes, but you hardly feel the mate bond.” He rolls his eyes dismissively. “It’s big news that you love him, that you’re letting him in this much - especially considering how hard you tried to keep your distance from him at first. This is a good thing, you’d don’t need to be embarrassed about it, especially with me.”

“I know, I know,” I huff. “I’m not even sure why I’m embarrassed. This is just new to me, I guess.”

“Well, I’m very happy for you.” He slung an arm over my shoulders, and squeezed me closer with a little too much enthusiasm. “But seriously, does this mean you’re officially an Alpha of the pack? Can you fuck with my uncle a little bit for me, command him to do embarrassing shit?”

***

Late that evening - late enough that most other wolves had already retired to their beds - I found myself still in the lounge with the inner pack members.

Nero had been banished by Adriel to the kitchen, to clean up whatever mess he had left behind from his turn cooking the pack’s meal. He had grumbled the entire way through the house to the kitchen, and even now I could hear the loud clattering of pans as he let us know exactly how much he hated it when his uncle ordered him around.

Such a pup.

The older male seemed rather pleased with himself as he lounged across the entire length of the three-seater couch, smugness exuding from his entire being. He would chuckle to himself every now and again when we heard Nero grumbling a little too loud.

Sandra and I sprawled across the floor on some large cushions, legs wound around each other as my head lay propped against the wall by a pillow. Thane sat across from us in the armchair - the large chair appearing almost like a throne as his body moulded perfectly against the worn leather. I noted that for the past half hour since we had all collected in here, his eyes had very rarely left me - or more specifically, his mark on my neck.

Perhaps Nero was right about the mark making males more territorial and possessive. I had never spent much time with newly mated couples in Idaho - their existence a painful reminder of what I had assumed I’d never have. As such, I realised I actually knew very little about the mating process and a mated relationship beyond meeting one another - and even then, that knowledge was irrelevant when I didn’t experience any symptoms of a mate bond.

Perhaps I should have asked someone - Thane - about all this.

Lorcan was the only one missing from the inner pack, and I had been told he was still with Javier still - the male not trusted to be guarded by just anyone after what had happened. Thane wouldn’t for a second risk the lives of any more of his pack. Lorcan and the four enforcers assigned to Javier would be on high alert, prepared for any attack should there be any other wolves that had been working with Russo, until other enforcers came to relieve them of their shift.

The interrogation of Javier had proved to be unhelpful. They hadn’t figured out whether Russo’s small group was acting alone, and if there were more threats to Riley and the future of the Nevada pack lurking out there. Samual - the current acting Nevada Alpha - had been told to keep his guard up, and Riley was no longer allowed to wander freely without guards.

I felt terrible for the young wolf, but knew it was far better he be safe. A positive was that there were no other Nevada trainees in Colorado besides Riley and Daniel. So unless Russo had been working with other packs - which was unlikely considering how disliked Nevada was among the others - the only way to reach Riley now was to cross Colorado’s borders without being caught. Which was a difficult thing.

The only good thing to come from the interrogation was the confirmation that Russo’s mate had no involvement with Russo’s plans. As soon as Russo had escaped his confines, he’d sent her running with the orders to leave America altogether - purely for her own safety - as he knew his plans for treason would put her in danger.

Russo had been a despicable wolf, but at least he hadn’t completely failed his own mate. It didn’t make me hate him any less, however.

“Oh my Gods!” Adriel gasped sharply, cutting off whatever it was Sandra was in the middle of saying. He sat up so suddenly he nearly fell onto the floor.

“What?” I felt Sandra tense as she eyed him, as if genuinely readying herself for a fight right in the middle of the lounge.

“I’ve just had the most wonderful realisation.”

“And that is?”

“You’re our Alpha Female, Emily.” Adriel grinned at me widely. “Which means Harris can take you to the bi-annual Alpha meetings and I can stay here. My mother was right, the God’s do exist, and I have been blessed!” The beta sighed happily, throwing himself back into his lounging position against the couch with his arms spread out in supposed bliss. Sandra rolled her eyes and huffed.

“Betas are still meant to accompany their Alphas, you know,” Thane drawled, amused with his Beta, and for the first time this evening glancing away from me.

“But there’s two of you now. You don’t need me.”

“Technically,” I pressed, “There’s supposed to be two Alphas and two Betas.”

Adriel was quick to narrow his eyes at me. “We don’t even have two Betas.”

I shrugged one shoulder, smiling coyly as I met Thane’s gaze. “What if we did have two Betas?”

Usually a pack’s Beta’s - like their Alpha’s - were a mated pair. Obviously, that was not an option for Colorado, but that didn’t mean it had to go without two Betas.

“Who are yo- no,” Adriel snapped immediately, on his feet in seconds with an accusatory finger pointed furiously in my direction. “No. Don’t even think about it, Emily. He is not becoming your Beta! He’s not even in the pack!”

I did my best to look as confused as I possibly could, hands up in faux innocence.

“Why are you assuming I already have someone in mind? I’m just throwing out some ideas.”

“Emily,” Adriel drawled in a low, warning tone, stepping closer almost threateningly. I didn’t flinch under his glare, my amusement only growing. “I will not have him become a Beta of this pack. I am not working alongside that idiot.”

“Adriel,” I sighed. “He’s going to be really hurt when I tell him you voted against him like this.”

Sandra shook beside me as she tried to hold back her laughter. Even Thane’s mouth curved into a small smile.

“Please shut down this nonsense,” Adriel snapped, gaping at Thane as if he couldn’t believe this conversation had even got this far. I wouldn’t be surprised if he stomped his foot and pouted.

“Really Adriel, how old are you? I know you love him. I can’t fathom why you’re both such dicks to each other all the time.”

“Harr-” Adriel snaps, cut off by the sound of Nero’s exaggerated sigh as he appeared in the doorway to the lounge. The front of his shirt was damp, and his curls were a wild mess. What had he been doing in there?

“I’m done! The kitchen is spotless and I refuse to lift another finger tonight,” Nero said, pausing when he noted Adriel’s aggressive stance and fierce scowl directed towards him. He sighed. “What have I done now?”

Sandra sniggered beside me, holding out her hand and silently beckoning Nero over to us with a wiggle of her fingers and a shit-eating grin. “Adriel was just telling us how his Beta duties can be a bit too much for him sometimes, and how much he wished this pack had two Betas like all the others.”

Nero walked slowly, hesitantly, towards us, casting his uncle a peculiar look.

Adriel’s pale face was flushed pink with anger and I knew without a doubt he was screaming at us all internally. For someone who loved to tease others so relentlessly, he was so easy to tease himself.

Nero snorted, and made himself comfortable at Sandra’s side, crossed legged on the floor as he leant heavily into her. “Typical, he’s so lazy.”

Adriel shot me an incredulous look, throwing his hand out towards Nero sharply, as if to say, ‘This is the brat you want me to work with?’

“It’s okay, Adriel,” I said, with condescension dripping from every word. “I’m sure we’ll think of a solution. But it’s late and I’m going to go to bed.”

Adriel watched me with narrowed eyes that tracked my every move as I stood to my feet, as if we were two nemesis on a battlefield and he was awaiting my next move. I didn’t say another word as I held out my hand for Thane to take, to lead him out of the room to our bedroom.

But as I passed by Adriel, I leant close in his ear and whisper, “Maybe Thane and I will have a little private chat before bed about some of those solutions.”

Adriel released a strangled sound of protest. “You can’t just seduce him into agreeing with you!”

He cast wide, pleading eyes up at Thane. “I have been your loyal Beta for years. Don’t do this to me. Don’t punish me like this.”

To my delight, Thane only grinned back at his Beta. It was enough to leave Adriel crumbling to his knees dramatically, muttering a repetitive slew of, ’I’m doomed’.

“I think you’re overreacting,” Sandra drawled, at the same time Nero mumbled to himself, “What the fuck is happening?”

***

“So, you want Nero to be your Beta?” Thane asked as soon as we were finally alone, eyes connecting with mine through the bathroom mirror as we both prepared for bed. There was something sickeningly domestic about us both stood over the same sink, brushing our teeth together. It was an experience that left my chest aching at the delicious familiarity I felt sharing these basic and yet so intimate aspects of life with him.

“I was just teasing Adriel. Nero’s far too young and untrained to be made a Beta. For now anyway,” I said with a small smile, unable to dismiss the wild light in my eyes as I held his gaze. Gods, he was so painfully handsome, with his sharp stubbled jaw, that crooked nose, and the dark hair that seemed perpetually messy regardless of what time of day it was. If I had ever had any doubts about my feelings for him, it was this moment that assured me I could spend a lifetime here with this male, going through these daily mundane motions and never growing bored. “It would certainly be fun, though, to see Adriel and Nero forced to work amicably alongside each other at the Alpha Meetings.”

“I never thought you’d be such a troublemaker,” he said with a smirk after rinsing his mouth out. He turned to face me completely, hip leant against the sink. My eyes were greedy as they took in every available inch of him, watching a drop of water roll down from his mouth, past his chin, down over the smooth skin of his neck. A neck bare of a mate’s mark.

Almost on instinct, my tongue ran across my blunt teeth. We hadn’t discussed it, whether he would wear my mark. It was another thing I needed to ask him about this bond, another thing I hadn’t ever bothered to consider before now.

Was I even able to mark him?

My father didn’t have a mark from my mother. She was entirely human, after all. He didn’t seem to mind, and my mother didn’t even understand the significance of such a mark. But I understood its importance, and I hadn’t realised until now how much it mattered to me.

“I thought I’ve been nothing but trouble for you.” I raised a single brow in disbelief.

This time Thane was laughing aloud, the sound so deep and rich it had my toes curling and my stomach clenching.

“You’ve certainly kept me on my toes, I’ll give you that,” he murmured with a soft kiss to my cheek, before he stalked back into the bedroom. He called over his shoulder, “Would Nero even want to join us officially? To leave his current pack?”

“Yes,” I said without hesitation. I’d seen that desperation to join Colorado first hand. I knew he’d jokingly mentioned joining Colorado to Adriel countless times, but I wasn’t sure it had ever been with the same earnestness as he had spoken to me about it. Perhaps if he had, Adriel wouldn’t be so against the idea. Perhaps if he knew why, he would understand why I had suggested it at all.

“What about when he finds his mate?”

“He wants to stay here still. At least, that’s what he told me.” Thane was undressing when I entered the bedroom, pulling his t-shirt over his head and providing me an excellent view of his slim, muscled torso.

“And if his mate didn’t want to join our pack?”

I shrugged, “Is it such a permanent thing - to join Colorado officially? No one has ever transferred away? If he joined now, would he be forced to stay forever?”

“Its rare anyone wants to join in the first place. Before you, no one had joined for forty-eight years.”

“Are you considering letting him join, then?” I asked, sure that was the only reason he was interrogating me so thoroughly. I couldn’t stop my grin, feeling somewhat giddy at possibility that Nero could become an enforcer. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to say goodbye to him, and have him return to Arizona after his training was completed.

Thane watched me for a moment, smiling softly. “You’re an Alpha now too. Talk to him about it. See if he wants to join the pack. This life isn’t for everyone - there’s no community here, no pups, no families.”

“Not everyone wants that.” I don’t want that.

Even now that I had a mate, now that the possibility of that kind of life presented itself, it wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t want to be anywhere but Colorado. I was happy here, with the enforcers, with the training, with this way of life. I didn’t have that burning desire to settle down with children and live amongst other couples and families. I hadn’t thought for even a second of wanting to live in a regular pack with Thane, of asking him to be anything but himself.

My sister had always wanted that kind of life - she couldn’t understand not wanting a mate and pups, of a value outside of motherhood. It was why she always brought it up, and what often led to arguments between us.

But while that life may have been perfect for Margaret, I wasn’t like my sister, and a life of domesticity had never been what I wanted. Did he know that? Was he worried that this life wasn’t enough for me?

Thane said nothing else as he continued to ready for bed, and I watched him do so with a frown.

By the time I’d buried under the bedsheets, Thane still had not joined me, instead perching himself stiffly on the edge of the bed, seeming almost shy.

It was an odd sight to see my Alpha Male mate avoiding my eyes and speaking quietly as he murmured, “I have something for you.”

“Something for me?”

“A mating gift.”

“Mating gift?” I repeated. Thane smiled.

“A male is supposed to gift something to his mate before they complete the bond, something to prove his worth. Granted, the tradition is little hetero-normative, a little old. They don’t do this in Idaho any more?”

“Not that I’m aware of,” I murmured, trying to think back to any mention of something like this. I wasn’t sure they’d ever had that tradition - then again, I likely wouldn’t know if they had. It wasn’t surprising to learn of a tradition that Idaho didn’t follow anymore. Most individual packs all had their own rituals and traditions that differed from each other, developed over the last centuries.

“Something that’s likely been forgotten over the years,” Thane said with a shrug, half turned away from. “I don’t remember how it started or where it came from.”

“What are you supposed to gift, then?”

“Traditionally, the gift is anything for the male to prove he is a worthy mate. The spoils of a hunt to show he can provide food, a home to show he can provide shelter, a fight in their name to show he can provide protection.”

“Is this where you tell me there’s a secret cabin somewhere in Colorado and I somehow haven’t seen? Or are you and Lorcan going to have a brawl out on the training grounds tomorrow?” I teased.

“No,” he said with a nervous smile. He reached down beside the bed and pulled something out from under it. A medium-sized parcel wrapped in brown paper. Well, it certainly wasn’t a home, and I would be concerned if he was keeping raw meat under his bed for me.

“It’s wrapped? When did you have time? You only marked me a few hours ago.”

“I’ve had it for a while.” I was momentarily taken back by the faint dusting of colour across his cheeks. He passed me the parcel, adding softly, “Wishful thinking.”

I didn’t hesitate to unwrap it, tearing at the paper like a giddy child would. I stared down at a folded pile of tawny coloured fur, soft to the touch.

“What is it?” I began unfolding it, frowning slightly when I noted the scars on the pelt.

“A rug,” he said simply, as if I was meant to understand its importance.

At my clearly confused expression, he sighed and finally moved closer to me on the bed. There was a wariness in his expression - a level of uncertainty in him that I wasn’t used to. “You mentioned to Nero once that you had a deerskin rug back in Idaho - a gift from Alpha Athan. You said it was the one thing you wished you had brought with you.”

“Were you jealous that another male had hunted and gifted me something?” I asked dryly.

“Insanely jealous,” he said with a grin.“ But that’s not why I’m giving you it. I didn’t hunt this. It’s the mountain lion - your kill. After I was sure you weren’t going to die, I had Sandra bring the body back here for me to skin and cure it.”

I stared at him, mouth agape. “That was so long ago, before anything had even happened between us. We weren’t even speaking to each other than,” I said, remembering how tense things had been between us after we had returned from Nevada. That was the entire reason I had been hiking that day, and at that point I still hadn’t been able to acknowledge my feelings for him. It was only after the attack that we had even kissed for the first time.

My fingers gently brushed the fur. There was a knot in my throat as I whispered, “And this is your mating gift to me?”

I looked down at the rug in my hands - the colour of the fur suddenly seeming so familiar, now aware that the scars had come from my knife. It certainly wasn’t anything like the rug Jack had given me. He had been so careful in killing the deer, making sure not to ruin the quality of the pelt with his teeth or claws. It had been so pretty, and I had appreciated the effort Jack had gone to for the gift.

This rug from Thane was far from flawless, riddled with scars and imperfections from a fight that had been brutal; from a fight that had tried to take my life and failed. It was a symbol of my strength and I already loved it so much more.

Tears burned at the corners of my eyes, and I tried my best to blink them back. Thane reached out and clasped my hand in his.

“There are a hundred gifts I could give you that would prove my worth. But I know you don’t need any of that from me.” He brought my hand to his mouth, kissing softly on the delicate skin of my wrist. I felt my pulse jump, my heart in my mouth.

His voice was rougher when he spoke again, hoarse as emotion welled in his throat. “If my mating gift to you is meant to symbolise my worth as a mate, then I want to it to be something that shows I will be a supportive, encouraging and proud mate. That I will never allow my pride to interfere with your own skills as an Alpha by my side, or to shelter you. That I will never be so arrogant to assume you cannot provide for yourself.”

Fuck.

He always had such a way with words; I supposed being nearly four-hundred years old would give him a certain eloquence.

“Well, I hope I wasn’t supposed to get you a gift in return,” I choked out through wobbling laughter as tears now freely wet my cheeks. I wiped at my face roughly. “What am I supposed to say to something like that?”

“You could tell me you love me,” Thane answered with a lopsided grin, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

“I do, I love you.” I was on my knees, cradling his face in my hands as I pressed a kissed to his mouth. And another. And another.

“You could tell me how happy you are.”

“I’m so happy.”

“You could tell me how handsome I am.” He was beginning to sound as cocky as Adriel.

My laughter bubbled out, cutting through my tears. “So handsome.”

[If you haven’t already I’d love for you guys to leave a review of this book!]