Chapter 12
The people who consider you weak have not yet noticed the wolf hiding behind your eyes, nor the flames inside your soul.
Let them think you are weak and do what wolves and fire do best.
Surprise them when they least expect it.
- Nikita Gill
The morning after my initiation, I awoke an hour earlier than usual, 5am, because of a loud commotion on the floor above me.
Growling, was the first thing I could distinguish; growling and raised voices.
Blinking drearily, palms rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I rolled to my feet. I slipped out of my room still in only a thin camisole vest and stretchy pyjama shorts, not bothering to change as I paused by the bottom of the staircase that led into the Alpha’s floor and the source of the early morning disruption. I could hear him pacing back and forth across the wooden floorboards. Adriel’s distinct voice vibrated in an unnaturally soothing manner, against the sound of Alpha Harris’ footsteps.
“What’s going on?”
I jumped, yelping quietly as Nero appeared beside me without warning. I should have heard him approach, but I was still half asleep. The young wolf grinned at my fright.
“I don’t know.”
“I’m sick of shit like this,” I could hear Sandra hissing.
Alpha Harris snarled something fierce in response, his words barely recognisable.
“Let’s go find out.” I climbed the stairs, only stopping when Nero’s hand fell to a tight grip on my forearm.
“What are you doing?” His eyes practically bugged out of his head. “It sounds like Harris is about two seconds from ripping someone’s head off.”
“It’ll be fine.” I rolled my eyes, shaking myself free of his grasp.
“Well, I sure as shit ain’t following you.”
“Wuss,” I muttered, continuing my quest to investigate. I was too damn nosy. Something bad must have happened to have the Alpha so riled so early in the morning. After a month of knowing the wolf, I had yet to see him ever lose his patience. In fact, this was certainly the first time I had ever heard him shouting from anger.
Outside the door to the Alpha’s office, I could hear more growls.
“Nevada has been a pain in my ass for too damn long,” Harris hissed.
“You know how they are,” Adriel’s cool voice consoled. But it didn’t seem to help the situation at all, I could hear more stomping from the room until the heavy footsteps stopped completely and the door to the room flung open. Frozen, my wide eyes locked onto Alpha Harris stood hunched in the doorway.
His ridiculously tall frame was too big for the doorway, his shirtless shoulders hunched and his head ducked low, short dark strands of his hair hanging against his forehead.
“You spy on Alpha Athen like this?” His expression was blank, but his gruff voice gave away his irritation. There was no use hiding his emotions. I had heard every growl through the floorboards.
I swallowed harshly. There was nothing malicious in the Alpha’s gaze, but I couldn’t help but squirm under it. I knew I was in the wrong.
“No.”
Alpha Harris hummed, narrowing his eyes.
“I have to go to Nevada, their Alpha has been killed. Do you want to come with me?”
“Me?” I squawked. I peeked behind him to see Adriel roll his eyes and grumble something under his breath. The Beta seemed exasperated and tired. He was only in shorts - which I assumed he had been sleeping in - his blond hair untied and messy. It looked as if they had dragged him from his bed. It looked as if he was damn well annoyed about it, too.
But how had the Nevada Alpha died? Had someone killed him through an official challenge for the position, or was this an outside attack?
The packs had little enemies. Most other creatures kept to themselves and offered the wolves a wide berth. We were happy to live isolated from the rest of the world, our packs established in the middle of forests and away from any civilisation. There was no need for any attacks to damage the pack hierarchy, and yet occasionally lone wolves or outcasts would stumble across pack lines and cause mayhem. But it was rare. There was the chance that a human hunter had killed a wolf by mistake, thinking them to be the mortal animals they were used to, but it had never happened to an Alpha before. The only other possibility was that someone had challenged the Nevada Alpha for the position and lost.
Challenges were very rare, and the last one had occurred long before I had been born. I wasn’t even sure how they worked or what the official pack rules were regarding them.
“A premature meeting has to be called of all the Alphas to officiate the successor. Figured you’d want to see the Alpha,” he explained.
Jack. ‘The’ Alpha; not ‘your’ Alpha, as that position had now been filled by the towering male in front of me.
“So?” He stepped closer, and I had to arch my neck to still look at him. My breath caught in my throat, brutally aware of the minuscule space now remaining between us. My eyes met his head on, a dangerous habit I still hadn’t killed, and all I could think of was being back in that forest the night before - his lips, his tongue pressed to my skin as he drank from my veins and formed that all essential bond between wolf and alpha. “Are you joining me?”
“Yes,” I breathed, then cleared my throat and stepped back away from him so I could clear my head.
His eyes flashed, and I watched them drop lower, focus on my mouth, before he too straightened himself all too suddenly and stepped back into the meeting room.
“Go sort out a bag. We’re leaving immediately.”
***
“So...” Nero drawled as he followed me into my bedroom, closing the door behind him softly. He had been waiting for me to re-emerge at the bottom of the staircase, just where I had left him, having heard everything that had transpired with me and Alpha Harris. He was still in his pyjamas, still bleary-eyed and so obviously thinking of sleep, and yet he was watching me intently with a growing smirk.
“Yes?” I prompted, grabbing my smallest travel bag from the top shelf of my wardrobe.
“Adriel told me about your initiation last night.”
I hummed, fighting back a groan. Whatever Nero was leading up to with this conversation was bound to be annoying, if our last conversation was any indication.
“How did it go?”
“If Adriel told you about it, surely you know.” I cast him a side eyed look, lips pursed.
“Stop being difficult. Adriel said it was intense... you know, between you and Harris.”
“Oh shut up,” I laughed, throwing a trainer at his head.
“Really?” he asked deadpan. “Who throws a shoe? Are you five? And I’m being serious. He said he’d never seen an initiation like it, like there was this energy between you two. I told him it was probably all the sexual tension.” Nero raised his eyebrows suggestively.
“Is all you ever do gossip?”
“Fine, keep denying it. It’s not like you’re going to be trapped in a car with him for a billion hours.”
I rolled my eyes, continuing to pack my bag as he lounged on my bed like it belonged to him. I only grabbed a couple of t-shirts and shorts, knowing regardless of if we stayed long in Nevada, we would need to stop somewhere to sleep. Even Harris couldn’t go that long without rest, surely.
“What’s this?” Nero asked incredulously, sheepishly picking up said item by the handle and casting it a wide-eyed stare. My stomach dropped when I noticed what had caught his attention.
“A knife.”
“Yes,” he sighed, exasperated, wide eyes swivelling towards me. “I can see that. I meant, why do you have it?”
“I don’t have claws or teeth; I need something sharp to defend myself.” I uttered, shoving a fresh set of clothes roughly into my bag, not bothering to fold them.
“And you train with this?”
I shrugged, continuing to search through my draw to avoid his eyes.
“Em?”
“I never much got the chance to. I could only ever train with Alpha Athan, and never with anyone that had shifted.”
“Why? I’ve seen you sparring with Harris. You’re good, more than good. Certainly capable of sparring with at least the Omega wolves.”
“It’s just the way it was.” I shrugged. “I need to go.”
Fastening my bag, I glanced at the knife still on my windowsill, hesitating. I wouldn’t need it. I would travel with an Alpha, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to Nevada as an enforcer.
Still I hesitated, until the sound of my name launched me into motion and I was rushing downstairs, the knife forgotten.
By the time I met Alpha Harris at the car, he was waiting for me with his familiar scowl. I had strangely come to miss it this past week of avoiding him. With the sight of it came a familiarity, and distance from the tension that clung between us.
“Am I not just slowing you down?” I asked, throwing my bag into the back seat, a water bottle clutched in one of my hands as I scanned the now fully dressed Alpha. He too had a small bag with him, and a t-shirt thankfully covered his chest. Then again, his current outfit did very little to hide his body; the all black, thick athletic shirt and shorts he wore were glued to every inch of his body and only accentuated his intimidating aura. Clearly, this was some kind of outfit reserved for travelling to other packs as the enforcer Alpha, vastly different from the suit he wore to the meetings. “Is it not crucial for you to get there as soon as possible if tensions are high in the pack?”
“It’ll only take us thirteen hours to drive there. Alaska has the furthest to travel, so even with them travelling in wolf form, they won’t get there until we do, if not after. And I’m sending a couple of enforces ahead to take control of things.”
“Right... okay.”
There was a silence between us as we settled into the car and Harris began the journey. I couldn’t stop myself from staring at him, taking in the sharp curve of his jaw, the untrimmed stubble, the deep bags under his eyes that hadn’t been there before.
It was after only five minutes of my staring that he sighed deeply and turned to catch my eye, apparently aware of my attention the entire time.
“I’m surprised you agreed to come,” he muttered, daring to catch my eye for only a second before focusing on where he was driving once again.
Why had he bothered to ask if he thought I would reject him? Why had I said yes?
“You are?” My voice was too soft, nearly cracking. There was a sudden, unexpected well of emotion that was building in my chest. Suddenly, Nero’s words were all I could think of. He had been right, of course he had. There always seemed to be an intensity between me and the Alpha now. It was inescapable. Yet, I had trapped myself in a car with him for thirteen hours.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” Harris addressed rather bluntly.
I didn’t bother to seem embarrassed. I had avoided him for my own good, for my own sense of sanity. He had to know that whatever path we had fallen down had to be stopped. He was an Alpha, my Alpha.
I wasn’t even entirely sure of what it was between us. I knew I had not imagined the tension, or the long, heavy glances, though. Especially if Nero had picked up on it. But I couldn’t possibly know what Alpha Harris felt, or what motivated him. It would be naïve of me to assume his experience was that of my own.
I looked away, head titled towards the window beside me, at the quickly moving scenery of trees and grassy fields passing by.
“I’m not going to ask why,” he huffed. From the corner of my eye, I saw his hands flex against the steering wheel, his fingers clenching and gripping the object tightly.
“Surely you know.” Again, my voice was so very quiet, foreign to even myself.
“I don’t presume to know anything about you.”
For a moment it felt as if I couldn’t speak, as if a knot had formed in my throat and all words were stuck, pushing against it and failing to escape. As if unable to stop myself, I was watching him, my eyes inexplicably attracted towards him.
Perhaps I had become so focused, so attracted to this Alpha male, to replace the loss of another Alpha in my life. It would make sense. Jack had been the focus of my affections for so long, and so abruptly, I had left him. Here Alpha Harris was as the perfect replacement.
“What happened in the pool... that night...” I began slowly, “I don’t understand what happened, where that came from. You’d spent three weeks scowling at me and then suddenly...” I took a pause, took a long breath before meeting his gaze. “You’re my Alpha.”
“I know.” His body remained tense, hands still clenched against the steering wheel, the muscles in his jaw jumping.
“It’s not right.”
“Okay.”
And that was seemingly the end of our conversation. I had no more to say, no more I dared to say at least. I didn’t wish to explore my attraction to him further, and certainly not with Alpha Harris himself.
***
Thirteen hours in a small car with an Alpha wolf intent on remaining silent was not a fun trip. We took very few breaks, and I spent most of my time in the car, desperately trying to sleep. When our journey finally ended and the car was coming to a rolling stop on Nevada pack territory, I leaped from the still moving vehicle to escape from the thick fog of tension that was so very suffocating.
It was as I was stretching my legs out, finally able to think of something other than Harris’ presence, that a grimace slowly warped my features. I had never had a good relationship with Nevada in my years of travelling to the pack with, or on behalf of, Jack. I would leave my belongings in the car, I wouldn’t need them and in the event we stayed the night, I would sleep in the car.
I heard the car door slam behind me and didn’t turn to face Harris as I spoke.
“It might be best to mention that Nevada don’t like me much,” I breathed. “I probably should have told you that before we left.” But I had been selfish, and the temptation to see Jack again had been too much.
Without waiting for a reply, I set off across the wide field before us, to where I knew the Nevada pack house to be. I knew without looking that Alpha Harris was following me.
I had barely made it to the front of the pack house when the crowd of wolves gathered outside first noticed our presence. Many of the pack members looked distressed, their faces pale, some with clearly tear-stained eyes. I noted two familiar wolves amongst the crowd - the enforces Alpha Harris had sent ahead of us.
Off to the side stood a few of the Alpha’s, each accompanied by at least two members of their pack - no doubt warriors for their protection. It was a serious event, the death of an Alpha. The other packs were not about to risk their own leaders. Personally, I thought it was stupid for so many pack Alpha’s to enter a territory so clearly unsafe, so soon after a kill.
It was the Beta of Nevada, a tall bulky man with thinning grey hair and a vicious scar down the left side of his face, that first spotted me. Even from the distance I stood, I could see the beginning of an ugly snarl curl onto his upper lip.
“What’s she doing here?” My ears could easily pick up his words, despite the quiet way in which he snarled at them.
Other Nevada pack members visibly shifted on their feet, avoiding my gaze as my grimace transformed into a glare. I had stopped walking now, my feet glued to the ground. Alpha Harris came to a stop beside me.
“This is exactly what I had forgotten to mention, that Nevada doesn’t like me that much. Well, the Alpha and Beta didn’t anyway,” I murmured, shifting my sights to the tense wolf.
“And why is that?” Harris drawled in a low tone I had never heard him use before. His attention fixed on the Beta.
“I used to visit Nevada on behalf of Alpha Athan when he couldn’t leave the pack. They didn’t like that someone like me had been given a position of standing within Idaho.”
“Someone like you?” Harris’ attention still had not shifted, his dark eyes locked onto the younger wolf across the field in a hard stare.
“A mongrel,” the Beta spat, able to hear every word of our conversation. It felt as if every wolf in the clearing froze, waiting for our response.
I didn’t flinch at the disgusting term thrown my way, too used to these comments whenever I was in this state.
I noted Harris’ body stilling beside me, and even with my hearing, it seemed as if his heart had stopped. Harris didn’t move a single muscle, his entire body frozen.
“Benjamin Russo,” his voice projected loudly enough to make the younger wolves jump. “I do not recognise, nor authenticate, your rights as Alpha. Until further investigation, you are to step down immediately and will be stripped of all titles.”
So it had been the Beta to kill the Nevada Alpha. I had hoped that whoever had challenged the old Alpha and won would be different. I hadn’t thought of the possibility of the Beta simply rising through the ranks. At least the old Alpha had never made a comment about my company. A wolf as vile as Benjamin certainly did not deserve to hold any power.
“You can’t be serious,” Benjamin scoffed, a red tinge to his skin rising up his neck and flooding his cheeks. “All because I called her what she is?”
“Because,” Harris snarled, “It is to my understanding that you did not ensue an official challenge and had no cause to usurp the previous Alpha. The Alpha’s and I must be informed of all challenges prior to their announcement. Because we must officiate all positions of Alpha and I deem you currently unfit to lead. It was not a challenge but an execution and thus you do not gain the rights of Alpha.”
One moment Benjamin was standing, vibrating with anger, and the next he was a growling mass of fur and teeth leaping toward us. He didn’t make it more than two feet before the two Colorado enforcers were pinning him to the ground. Benjamin struggled in their grip, fangs bared towards us.
Harris’ next command was so firm, so devoid of any emotion, that it sent a shiver wracking through my body.
“Chain him.”