SWNOVELS Our Thing: Chapter 34
‘Golden Girl.’
My eyes slowly bat open. The first thing I see is Max asleep on the hospital chair in front of my bed. Then I roll towards the door and find Toni quietly approaching me.
It takes only two seconds for all the images and conversations from last night to spit into my mind like a dramatic woodchipper, throwing the blended chips of events at me. As I remember those cruel brown eyes, my breath catches. I see myself pushing Max away in the shower, falling to my bum, and trembling in his arms like a stupid, traumatised little girl. I can’t let last night control me. I won’t.
My eyes land on Max again. His arms are folded across his chest – thick chiselled biceps bulging under his tucked hands. I’ve been a part of his world for three months and in that small amount of time, I’ve already seen my fair share of violence and intimidation. How does he have any gentleness left inside after twenty-four years surrounded by murderers, kidnappers, and cruel bastards?
I remember a few months ago when he’d told me that I soften his life. I really understand that today. His world is hard. Hard physically. Hard mentally. Hard to navigate. Hard in every aspect of the word. His face twitches for a moment, so I wonder if he’s dreaming about last night. About me.
God, I love him.
He deserves a little softness in his life. There is no way I’ll be taking that from him.
Rolling my shoulders, I’m pleased to discover that I’m not as sore this morning and that my nausea has settled. I peer down at the cannula in my hand; it moves beneath my skin when I flex my fingers and I hate that feeling. When I find Toni again, he’s in an emotional state – eyes welling up, swallowing hard.
Stopping beside me, he says, ‘I don’t have words.’
I lick my arid lower lip as I whisper, ‘That’s a first.’
The emotions spill through him almost uncontrollably. Turning to hide his face from me, he takes a few moments to collect himself.
Sitting up straight, I feign a sense of composure. ‘Jebus, do I look that bad?’
He turns back towards the bed, and through a teary giggle, he quietly replies, ‘Yes.’
To my absolute surprise, I grin at him. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Max called me.’ His gaze bounces to Max. ‘Are we going to wake him up?’
My eyes land on Max again. Usually his face transforms when he’s deep in slumber, reminding me he’s just a young man; it’s easy to forget such a thing when he’s taking on the world, standing staunchly, power radiating from him. Right now though, he’s tight-faced and his breaths in and out are rough – angry.
‘I think he’s out for now,’ I say through a sad sigh.
‘Let’s go get a coffee from the hospital canteen.’
I glance around, attempting to decipher the hour, but the curtains are drawn shut and the lights are dim. ‘What time is it?’
‘Nine in the morning.’
‘There is no way I can leave this room without waking him up first. If he wakes up and I’m not here, he won’t handle that well.’
Toni nods. ‘Usually, I’d insert a caveman joke here, but given the circumstances, it doesn’t feel right. I’m sure I’d also come up with a good innuendo to do with inserting things into cavemen, but I’m not on my game this morning.’
I smile at his attempt to lighten the mood. When I shuffle over to make room on the bed for him, Toni kicks his shoes off and slides in beside me. As he wriggles in to share my pillow, I’m enveloped by his scent. Mint and cologne and Toni.
‘Max told me you got attacked by some guy,’ he whispers and I hold my breath, wary of how much Max might have disclosed about last night. ‘But you managed to fight him off? Oh my giddy aunt. He better hope we never find him.’
Of course, Max hadn’t told Toni everything that’d happened. Not only is it incredibly unfair to share such a burden, but I won’t put Toni in a position where he has to lie to the man he loves. Although, I know he would lie to Braidy. For me, he’d lie on his death bed and then again at the heavenly gates.
I raise a brow at him. ‘We?’
He smiles gently. ‘Yeah. Max and me. We’re in a gang now.’
I try for a laugh, but it’s sad.
‘I brought you clothes. Panties. Bra. Jeans. And your Bert and Ernie yellow tee.’
‘Oh my gawd, thank you.’ My arms find their way around my best friend, clutching at him. Sighing hard, he pulls me in even closer and we hold each other in silence. Tremoring with restraint, he fights to hold back tears, but my shoulder can feel the drips flowing.
‘I’m okay,’ I say, but as soon as I do, my voice shakes and then breaks on a small whimper. ‘I’ll be okay.’
‘I’m so angry. I’m so. . . fucking. . . fuck,’ he says through a low growl.
I shake my head against his, trying not to cry. ‘Stop it.’
‘I want to take you away,’ he whispers, arms tightening around me. ‘Away from everyone.’
Aware of how secretive my beautiful boyfriend is, I lower my voice further. I’m sure if he wakes up, he’ll hear us whispering, but I’m hoping he won’t be able to decipher our words. ‘It’s not Max’s fault.’
‘I’m sure it’s not, but you’re getting hurt. I feel like you have cried more in the past three months than the whole time I’ve known you. And you have disappeared from your home. You pretty much live with him now.’
‘I’m in love with him. . . and he needs me.’
His nose touches my cheek. ‘But what do you need, Golden Girl?’
‘I need him too,’ I admit and nothing has been truer in my whole life.
Toni nods in the crook of my neck. ‘Oh fuck.’ A bit of tension has left his voice. ‘I’ve already hired a dragon to guard the tower I was going to lock you in. I wonder if they’ll give me my deposit back.’
‘I hope you’re not bisexual, Toni.’ Max’s deep, gravelly voice interrupts us. ”Cause you’re touching my girl right now.’
Toni relaxes his grip. Kissing my nose, he grins at me and says loud enough for Max to hear, ‘I find all your female parts completely revolting.’
‘Excellent,’ Max says as he appears at my side. He’s a beautiful, big presence made up of taut tattooed skin, lean muscles, and lots of contradictory pieces – pieces that fit perfectly into mine. ‘More for me.’
As I stare at him, my heart wants to dive inside his chest and find its other half. He bares me down with those stunning, intense irises to my bones – to my swollen heart. ‘Hi, menace.’
His gaze diverts to the door just as I hear footsteps approaching. I sit up and Toni slides off the mattress as a nurse stops by my bedside.
‘I’m going to get you a real coffee, okay?’ Toni kisses my forehead.
When his lips touch my skin, I smile. ‘Love you.’
‘Gross,’ he says, walking from my hospital room.
Giving the nurse my attention, I twist to face her. She lifts my chart up as if to read from it. ‘Morning, Cassidy. You slept so well. We administered fluids twice during the night and you slept right through.’ She lowers the chart. ‘You must have really needed it.’
‘I feel a lot better.’
She smiles and flicks Max a look. ‘That’s great. Convince your boyfriend to sleep tonight. He refused to go home and get some rest. He’s a stubborn one, hey?’
I look at Max, who shrugs indifferently.
‘He is,’ I say adamantly with a light smile.
‘We can discharge you today. You’ve had plenty of fluids over the past ten hours. We would recommend keeping your fluids up though. Drink lots of water. Your sutures are dissolvable so they won’t need removing; however, you should get the incision checked in seven days.’
‘Okay,’ Max says from beside me.
When she turns to leave through the door, I notice Carter standing just outside. His back is to Max and me, legs a hip’s length apart – a business-like stance.
I peer back at my beautiful tall lover, who is watching me intently, eyes filled with that gentleness I can’t believe he can still manage – for me.
He nods towards the door. ‘There is someone I want you to meet.’
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Carter casually stroll in. A grin meets his lips and it must be the first time he has smiled in my presence because he’s not so scary to look at right now. Actually, he has a boyish, mischievous type of grin that hints at an attractive face beneath the scars.
‘Miss Slater, I’ve been wanting to introduce myself since the wedding,’ he says, his black suit buttoned tight around his broad shoulders and thick waist.
As I turn back to Max, he brushes a few rogue strawberry-blonde tendrils over my shoulder. His eyes are still glued to me, searching my thoughts and feelings and diving beneath my layers. The way his stare can penetrate doesn’t feel uncomfortable anymore. In fact, it’s very reassuring knowing he’s trying to figure me out – wanting the truth. ‘Carter has worked for my family for over two decades. He used to be Xander’s.’ Max pauses and his eyes follow his knuckles as they stroke the bruise along my cheekbone. ‘But he’s yours now.’
My eyes widen, darting between Carter’s cool, calm face and Max’s serious, authoritarian one. ‘I’m sorry what?’
A little grin tugs at Max’s lips. ‘You don’t need to feed him or anything.’
Carter just laughs. ‘I’m pretty low maintenance.’
‘And he doesn’t need a place to sleep, right Carter?’ It wasn’t a question despite being phrased like one.
Carter nods. ‘I don’t plan on sleeping ever again, boss.’
Although I appreciate the attempt at humour, it’s not settling the discomfort rolling through me. For a few moments they let me absorb what they are saying without further information. ‘I’m sorry. I’m confused,’ I finally say.
‘You don’t have to acknowledge him if you don’t want to.’ Max squats down beside the bed until his eyes are set lower than mine, and it makes me wonder whether that move is strategic. Max is excellent at observing body language. He’s no fool.
Is he trying to appear less domineering? Is he lessening the blow of giving me a fricking guard dog – who is human?
He smiles at me, his blue eyes intense in a way I’ve never seen before. Assured. Ready. For what?
Me?
Us?
‘He can drive you anywhere you want to go. But you don’t have to drive with him. I know you might want to drive. . .’ He stifles a tight smile. ‘Lady. . . but he’ll be driving behind you.’
I clear my throat. ‘This is weird. You’re acting weird.’
‘No. Well, to the first part anyway.’ He shakes his head a little. ‘Our biggest overhead is security. It’s very common. Aurora has four guards. Stacey has three.’
‘And I only get one?’ I say as a joke because the whole concept is laughable.
A slow, sly grin meets his lips. ‘Only one you’ll see.’
I breathe out fast. ‘This is insanity.’
When he reaches for my hand, I look down to watch his tattooed fingers stroke mine. Running the full length of his ring finger is a new tattoo that I’d never noticed before. It reads: Ardente One.
‘If I’m busy, at work, or you want to go out somewhere, he’ll take you. To the movies. To dinner. Whatever you want.’
My mind is swimming. ‘Aren’t you going to take me to the movies and dinner and-‘
‘Of course, little one. This is just for when I can’t be around. You can get him to take you on dates or watch you rehearse. And I don’t need to worry about you falling in love with him because he’s fucking ugly.’
Carter laughs again. ‘But I’m not as scary as I look.’
Somehow, I doubt that. . .
Between this conversation and Max’s hand stroking my fingers with such gentle, chaste love, my breaths become shallow and uncontrollable. ‘I don’t-‘
‘I’m taking this thing between us very fucking seriously now.’ His eyes leave mine for a moment. His jaw tics. ‘Fuck. It’s how it should have always been done. You kinda snuck up on me, little one. Our relationship wasn’t something I was planning on.’
‘I’m not sure-‘
His other hand reaches up, sandwiching mine between his big warm palms. ‘Do you still want in this with me?’
My breathing stops altogether for a second. ‘Yes.’
‘This is part of the package.’
Still holding my hand tightly between his, he stands and then sits beside me on the bed. I crane my neck to look up into his grey emotion-ridden eyes. Dark. Intense. Ready. Leaning in until his nose touches my cheek, his hand slides along my thigh and up to grasp the nape of my neck. With worshipful fingers, he strokes the skin at my neck, summoning flutters throughout my body and deep within my heart.
When he turns his face until our lips lightly touch, my mouth opens and breathes into his. His into mine. Then his mouth presses against mine. Deep. Humming. Loving. Loving me with his kiss. With his actions.
Loving me. . .
And when he pulls his lips from mine, I feel my heart hammering against my ribcage in the best, most dizzying way.
His mouth moves to my ear as his grip on my nape tightens. ‘Max is never going to let anyone hurt you again.’
And this time, I believe him.