Our Fault (Culpable Book 3)

My entire body stiffened, petrified, on the threshold of my child’s room. I froze in fear. The woman with her back to me heard me and turned around automatically. I couldn’t believe it. I knew her, and that only terrified me more.

“Briar.”

The red-haired girl standing before me looked nothing like the gorgeous one I’d lived with for months. Her hair was cut to her shoulders, she had bags under her green eyes, and there wasn’t a drop of makeup to hide her imperfections. She was wearing plain black pants and a gray sweatshirt. I repeat: she in no way resembled the girl I’d known.

“Don’t you dare walk through that door, Morgan.”

What a stupid way to talk to me, not using my first name, like we weren’t close once. I clenched my teeth in fury.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?” I shouted. Andy was asleep, and Briar was too close to him for my comfort. She had been standing by the crib watching him until I interrupted her.

She reached into her purse and pulled out a knife with a gleaming blade… My heart was racing. But I didn’t step back.

“I just wanted to meet Nick’s child,” she said, turning back to the crib with a sick expression of delight.

I didn’t fail to notice that she’d said Andy was Nicholas’s kid, not mine. I tried to remain calm when all I wanted was to shove her away, grab my baby, and take off running.

“He’s gorgeous…looks just like him.” She bent over and stroked his head.

When I stepped forward, she held out the hand holding the knife, and I stopped, my eyes fixed on its sharp tip.

“I told you not to come in here,” she hissed in a rage.

“Briar, please…” I begged when she reached in and picked Andy up. He woke immediately.

I saw him blink several times, confused. I knew what would happen by the way she was holding him. Andrew started crying, breaking the tense silence. I wanted to take him from her, soothe him, tell him it would be okay. Hatred flooded my body. Nothing mattered then. I’d kill her. I’d kill her if she hurt my baby.

Briar rocked him so he’d stop crying, and I felt as though time were stopping when the blade in her hand got dangerously close to him.

“You’re doing it wrong,” I said, desperate for her to get the hell away from my newborn baby.

Briar looked up.

“Put him on his belly,” I said, trying to control my tone. “Like that…” I nodded when she did as I said. At least now she could hold him with one arm and let the knife hang at her side.

Andy complained but eventually calmed down, and Briar seemed pleased with herself as she rocked him, humming a song I had never heard before.

“You know what?” she said, staring at me. “My baby had blue eyes, too…”

I didn’t understand.

She seemed to recognize that and continued: “I didn’t get an abortion. Nicholas’s father gave me money to…but I didn’t.”

But that meant…

“I lost him.” Her eyes welled with tears, and now I saw it again, their beautiful emerald color. “My entire family turned their backs on me when I told them I was six months pregnant. I tried to hide it, but I wasn’t you. I couldn’t help showing. You could tell when I was just eight weeks along.”

Jesus…

“He was a redhead like me, but he had Nicholas’s eyes.”

Hearing her was breaking my heart. Not just because her baby had died, but because Nicholas’s had, too. Seeing my child draped over her arm, I understood the horror she must have felt.

“I only ever held him once.”

“Briar… I’m so sorry…”

She brought Andy close to her face to smell his little head.

“I warned you about Nicholas…but you wouldn’t listen to me.”

Now the sorrow in her eyes had changed to hatred. Andy was wriggling again.

“Briar, please… Please, give me my baby,” I begged her, crying. But she shook her head.

“I was first, Noah. You don’t deserve to be a mother… And Nicholas doesn’t deserve this baby.”

I didn’t know what to do. I looked around desperately, trying to find something I could use as a weapon. Briar was crazy. I’d always known she had problems; she had lied to me about Nicholas sleeping with her when we were together, had lied to me when she said he’d forced her to get an abortion…

“I’m a better mother than you,” she said, grabbing my bag off the changing table. I hadn’t left it there—she must have found it and packed it while I was asleep. I felt like the worst mother imaginable. How could I have not heard her?

My eyes paused on the baby monitor by the crib. It was off.

“Briar, you can’t take him!” I shouted when she threatened me, waving the knife and telling me to get away from the door.

Andrew woke up again and started screaming.

“Look what you’ve done!” she said, furious.

“Briar, please, give him to me; I’m his mother!”

She stopped caring how she held him, and he twisted and turned in her arms; he was terrified, and she was touching him right where the rash itched most.

“Give him to me, dammit; you’re hurting him!”

His cries filled the entire room. Briar dropped the bag on the ground, struggling to control him, still gripping the knife all the while. I saw her look up past my shoulder and heard a noise. Before I could turn, someone grabbed me from behind. I felt a man’s hard chest against my back and a hand over my mouth, trapping my scream in my throat.

“I’ve been dying to hold you like this,” a familiar voice whispered in my ear.

I felt my heart skip a beat.

Michael.

I tried to break free of him, but I couldn’t. His whole body stank disgustingly of alcohol.

Briar’s eyes lit up when she saw him, and I asked myself what connection there could be between the two of them. How the hell could the two people who had hurt me most be in the same room threatening me and my baby?

“You’ve got everything you need, right, babe?” Michael asked Briar, and she nodded as she picked up the bag again.

I was terrified—terrified and enraged. “Let me go!”

“I’m taking him, and there’s nothing you can do about it,” she told me, not even bothering to look up.

Michael pulled me back to let her through.

“Wait for me downstairs,” he said. I’d never heard him sound so gruff.

As she stepped past me, I shouted, “No, Briar, no… Please…give him back, please…” I cried and tried to struggle out of Michael’s grasp. She stopped for a moment, looked at me, looked at Michael, and then looked at Andy.

“Sorry, Noah,” she said, walking downstairs.

“No!” I cried as loudly as I could. Andrew was shrieking hysterically as Michael turned me around and slammed my back against the wall.

“Did you really think you were just going to go on with your life as if nothing had happened? Did you think I was going to let that piece of shit just have you?”

I started sobbing. I couldn’t believe this was happening.

Nicholas was gone, Steve, too…

Then I remembered a conversation I’d had with Nick a few weeks ago. I hadn’t paid much attention; it was hard for me to take his obsession with security seriously; he was always worried about someone hurting us again…but now I recalled why he had agreed to take Steve with him…

“I installed an alarm, Noah,” Nick told me while I was giving Andrew his bottle, staring at him in a trance and not really listening. “I know your history with alarms, and I don’t want you to have to punch in a code every time you come and go, so it’s just a panic button; you hit it and it alerts the police. Are you listening?”

I looked up from the baby and smiled. “Yeah, panic alarm, of course I’m listening.”

Nicholas sighed and walked over. “Panic button, Noah. It’s under the kitchen counter.”

Just then, Andy gurgled adorably, and I stopped paying attention again.

Nicholas took him from me and looked at me angrily. “Goddammit, Noah, this is important!”

I scowled at him and raised my hands in the air. “I heard you. You need to stop freaking out. I got it, now give Andrew back.”

Nick sighed, shook his head, and did as I asked. “Remind me to tell you exactly where it is…”

But I wasn’t listening to him anymore…and I definitely never reminded him.

“The ten thousand he gave me to go away was enough for a while…but your little boyfriend has way more money than that, isn’t that right?” Michael asked, pulling me out of my trance.

Money… Why wasn’t I surprised?

“You’re a son of a bitch,” I said, hating him as I’d never hated anyone.

Michael clenched his jaw, and before I could duck, he slapped me across the face. “Don’t ever talk bad about my mother, you hear me?”

I was trembling, but I tried to stay strong. Had he really hit me?!

“Now, tell me where the fuck the safe is.”

I knew there was one in our room. Nick had chosen the combination—it was the date the two of us had met.

I told him where it was, and he pushed me into the bedroom. He looked at the unmade bed, the costly furniture, and the photo of Nick, Andy, and me that Jenna had taken and we’d framed and hung over the bed.

“What would your boyfriend say if I were to fuck you again right now on your pretty little bed? You think he’d forgive you again? Or would he leave you hanging like he did two years ago?”

“You’re sick,” I said.

Michael laughed and moved the picture. Behind it was the safe, gleaming silver.

“Enter the code.”

He hurled me around in front of him. I did what he said, and his eyes lit up when the door opened.

“Damn…you hit the jackpot with this guy,” he said, grabbing the stacks of money piled up there along with a few documents. “If this is what he’s got at home, I don’t even want to think about what’s in the bank.”

I clenched my fists. “Take the fucking money and get out of here.”

Michael smiled, stuffed the stacks of hundreds into his backpack, and nudged me down the stairs. Briar was waiting on the sofa, with Andy sleeping in her arms.

“Can we go now?” she asked nervously.

“In a second, dear,” Michael responded, looking around.

He pulled me toward the kitchen, and I felt adrenaline seeping through my every pore.

Where is that fucking alarm, Nicholas?

Briar got up with Andy and followed us. I hated seeing her holding him as if he were hers, as if my baby belonged to her. Michael dropped the bag of money on the counter and forced me into a chair. Briar looked back and forth between us. She was like a child waiting to be told what to do.

“What’s your plan, Michael?” I asked, trying to hold him there for longer. If he left before I could hit that alarm, I’d probably never see my baby again. “Take the money and my child to get vengeance on Nicholas?”

“That’s exactly what I’m going to do,” he said, smiling and opening the fridge. He took out a beer and stared at me. “I love seeing you so scared… Walking through his house, drinking his beer, knowing I have his family at my mercy.”

I trembled, asking myself how I’d been so stupid as to ignore who Michael O’Neil really was.

You’re always able to find a way to forgive others for their errors.

Nicholas’s words hit me harder than Michael had just a few minutes before. I had wanted to see the good in him, it was true. I wanted to find some reason why he had taken advantage of my vulnerability, and now I had to admit that not everyone in the world is good. There are people who are just plain evil; it’s a fact.

Andy groaned yet again, and Michael glared at him.

“I was quite excited to meet little Mr. Leister here…” he confessed, walking over and reaching for him.

I jumped up. “Don’t you touch him!” I shouted. Andrew started crying—that was what I’d hoped would happen.

Ignoring my warning, Michael stroked his head.

“He’s hungry,” I said, looking Michael straight in the eye. “Let me make him a bottle.”

Michael smiled, walking close enough that I could smell the liquor on his breath. I wanted to puke.

“You can ask nicer,” he said.

“Please,” I begged, trying to control the disgust and hatred I felt toward him.

He grabbed me around the waist and planted a revolting kiss on my neck. Stiff as a board, I tried not to cry.

“Shut him up,” he whispered in my ear, pushing me away.

I walked around the island to grab a bottle, formula, and milk. As I readied everything, I felt along the underside of the counter for the fucking alarm.

Meanwhile, Michael handed the baby off to Briar and finished his beer with that stupid smile on his face. I couldn’t understand why he was still there. If I were him, I’d have left as soon as I had the money, but his amusement hinted that he was more interested in making me suffer than in lining his pockets. He felt like he was in Nicholas’s shoes, and that was what he really enjoyed.

Finally, my fingers found something, and I inhaled quickly: it was the panic button! I pushed it, hoping the police would get there soon.

I heated up the milk in warm water, and when the bottle was ready, I walked over to Briar.

“Let me feed him,” I begged.

“No,” she said, tearing the bottle from my hands.

“You know what, Noah?” Michael said, his voice taking on a darker tone. “I could have given you all this, too. We could have been happy if you hadn’t gone for Leister… What is it? You like someone treating you like shit? Tell me… If that’s what you want, I could do that to you, too.”

“Leave me alone!” I shrieked. “You’re a fucking idiot, and you’re going to spend the rest of your life in jail! Same for you, Briar! Don’t you see he’s manipulating you? He did the exact same thing to me!”

“Shut up!” Briar said. “Michael helped me more than anyone ever has…and we’re leaving here together… Isn’t that right?” Her eyes glimmered with emotion as she looked at him.

I shook my head in disbelief. “What the hell have you done to her?” I asked him.

Michael tried to answer, but the sound of sirens howling in the distance stopped him. I would have been relieved if I’d managed to get Andy out of Briar’s hands. But if the police came in and that psycho still had him, I didn’t want to imagine what might happen.

Michael turned around, set his beer on the counter noisily, and grabbed my arm. “What the fuck have you done?” he said, shaking me.

My teeth were chattering, but I smiled. “Silent alarm. You’ve got about half a second to get out of here.”

Briar looked at Michael and then at me, terrified. Andy started whining and wriggling, maybe because the sirens were already piercing his eardrums.

Michael let me go, grabbed the backpack from the table, and shouted, “Come on!” to Briar, opening the door to the backyard.

Briar was scared to death. I could see it in her eyes. Andy was crying, and all she wanted was for him to calm down, I thought. So I tried begging.

“Briar, please give him to me.”

Michael didn’t wait for her. He ran out without looking back.

I hoped, I wished with all my strength that the police would catch him, but I couldn’t look away from the woman standing before me, the one who had my child in her arms. She started walking backward as I approached her, trying to guide her toward the front door.

She stopped, frightened.

“I’m sorry, Noah.”

I thought I would die when she opened the door. Andrew’s screams were tearing at my soul. My baby was suffering, and there was nothing I could do; he was being taken from me; my worst fears were coming true.

Two cop cars parked on the corner. Briar saw them and paused, her pupils dilated.

“I’m the one who should have him,” she said, squeezing Andy tightly and staring at me, full of hate.

His screams got louder and louder. She took off running just as a police car screeched to a halt in front of the house.

“Drop the weapon!” an officer with a pistol ordered her.

I covered my mouth with my hand and prayed for them not to let her keep my baby.

Briar looked away, but another car was there. All possible avenues of escape were cut off.

“Drop it!” the cop shouted again. Briar’s eyes filled with tears. A second later, her knife hit the pavement.

“Now, carefully set the baby down, take two steps back, and get on your knees!”

I held my breath and stared at Briar, who seemed to be in a state of utter shock. She lifted Andy, gave him a kiss on the head, and kneeled slowly, leaving him on the ground. The little thing cried and jerked like never before.

A sob escaped my throat as she backed up and did as the police said. I ran toward my little boy, picked him up, and held him tight. Never had I been so afraid. Never in my life had I wanted to kill someone. My legs trembled and I kneeled, scared I might fall over. Andy cried against my chest, and I did all I could to calm him down.

I didn’t even know what was happening around me. All I cared about was knowing my child was safe with me.

“Miss, let us help you,” an officer said, lifting me to my feet. I was trembling from head to toe and could hardly control my hysteria.

“Michael…he escaped through the back door…” I said. They asked for a description and sent a backup squad after him.

I went inside, and the officers on the scene asked me questions. They wanted a doctor to examine Andrew and me, but I refused, saying I just needed to calm down, and I went into Andy’s room with him and locked the door.

The white onesie with a pattern of bees I’d put on him to sleep was dirty from the asphalt. I took it off and changed him, still crying. I sat with him on the sofa and cuddled him until he finally stopped crying. He had his eyes on me the whole time.

“It’s over,” I whispered, cradling him to my chest. “It’s over, baby…”

Only when he was deep asleep did I go back down to the living room with him.

“Mrs. Leister, we need to ask you a few questions,” an officer told me. “Your husband’s on his way. We’ve already informed him of what happened.”

Nicholas. I hadn’t thought of him once. I hadn’t had room in my mind for him: my baby, that was the only thing in the world just then.

“Miss, we’ve captured Michael O’Neil,” one of the men on the scene told me. “He was on the run, but he wasn’t hard to find. He was unarmed, thankfully.”

I nodded, but I didn’t feel any type of relief. I still couldn’t believe what had happened. I was in a panic; I wanted to lock myself away with my baby and never see anyone else again.

“Apparently, Mr. O’Neil was treating Miss Palvin in a program for people with psychological disorders.”

What?

“Briar…?” I asked, unable to believe what I was hearing.

“She was committed four and a half months ago. She had tried to commit suicide, and her parents took her there. I guess O’Neil broke her out without anyone knowing it.”

I couldn’t believe it… But then, taking advantage of his patients seemed to be his specialty. Michael must have been overjoyed when he’d found out he was treating someone connected to my past as well as Nick’s. I could almost imagine them talking: Briar, so hurt after all that had happened with Nick, and Michael reveling in her pain and encouraging her to use it to hurt us.

I stopped crying and spent the next few hours making my statement. I did everything at home. I told them there was no way I’d go to the station.

I called Jenna after the police left. I didn’t want to be alone. She and Lion hurried over, both of them terrified for me.

“I’m tired,” I said after we had tea together in the kitchen. Andy was still sleeping in my arms, and I couldn’t let him go. “I’m going to lie down a bit.”

Jenna nodded and told me not to worry. They hadn’t been able to talk to Nick once he caught his plane—I guessed it didn’t have Wi-Fi.

I got in bed with Andy and tried to rest. My body was still suffused with terror. I didn’t know how long I’d need to get over what had happened.

I opened my eyes a few hours later. My heart almost stopped when I saw Andy wasn’t with me in bed. Terrified, I sat up, only to find Nick sitting across from me with Andrew sleeping against his chest, rubbing his nose softly into the top of the baby’s head. He noticed I had woken up and glanced over.

I took a deep breath and cried again.

Nicholas sat up with the boy in his arms and walked over. Not only was I sad, not only was I scared, I felt so guilty, I could hardly speak. Everything had been my fault… Nicholas had warned me about Michael; I hadn’t wanted to listen. Charlie had probably given Michael my address… My child could’ve been dead right now because of my negligence…

“Nick…” I sobbed uncontrollably. “I’m so sorry…”

He squeezed me as tightly as he could with our baby sleeping between the two of us. I buried my face in his neck and let myself go.

“Shhhh…” he said, clutching the back of my head. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. Even I didn’t think that bastard would take it that far.”

When I’d gotten a hold of myself, I looked into his beautiful blue eyes, now bloodshot, which were looking at me in a way I’d never seen before.

“Andy’s okay,” I said, trying to console him, and me, too.

“I don’t know what I would have done if something had happened to you both, Noah.”

I hugged him and kissed his cheek. “At least you’re back,” I said, kissing him, holding him close for what could have been whole minutes.

“Did he do anything to you?” he asked, touching what I supposed was a small bruise where Michael had slapped me. He looked scared, almost holding his breath.

“I’m fine… He threatened me, but he didn’t do anything,” I responded, trying to stay calm and convince him it hadn’t been so bad, even if I felt like I had been through hell.

He stroked my cheek and confessed, “I want to kill him,” and I saw hatred invade his features.

“He’ll be in jail for a long time… That’s punishment enough.”

Nick pulled me in, and we kissed, desperate and tense. As we separated, I heard Andrew make a soft noise while he turned his head. He was awake and looking at us. I smiled and rubbed his little mop of hair.

“I don’t even know how to tell you how much I love you both,” Nick said.

We got into bed, the three of us. Nick was holding me from behind; Andy was close by my belly.

No one was ever going to hurt our family again.