Our Fault (Culpable Book 3)

I arrived at my final stop around seven in the evening. The sun was still hovering on the horizon; it wouldn’t go down until nine, and it felt good to get out, stretch my legs, smell the warm scent of the sea, and feel the cool air coming from the coast. I hadn’t seen the beach in a while, and I missed it. School was a decent drive from the ocean, and I avoided my mother’s house as much as I could. Our relationship was no longer what it had been, and even if many months had passed, we hadn’t solved anything. We talked now and again, but when the conversation touched on matters I wasn’t interested in getting into, I just hung up.

Jenna was waiting for me in her white convertible in front of the station. When she saw me, she got out and ran over to me. I took off running, too, and we met in the middle of the road, hugging and jumping up and down.

“You’re here!”

“I’m here!”

“I’m going to get married!”

“You’re going to get married!”

We cracked up until the passing cars started honking at us to get out of their way.

When we got in the car, she immediately told me how stressed she was about everything and what we still had to do before the big day came. We would have only a couple of days together because soon the other guests would arrive. Her closest friends would stay at her family’s house, and everyone else either had their own house in the Hamptons—and by house I mean mansion—or would stay with friends in the area.

Jenna hadn’t wanted people to have to fly out on her account, so she’d chosen the vacation season, since half the people she knew would already be there, if not in the Hamptons, then in the Finger Lakes or Maine.

“I’ve made an itinerary, Noah; we’re talking a hundred percent chill: we’re going to lie on the beach, go to the spa, drink margaritas, and that’s it. I don’t want some dumb bachelorette party, I want to relax, and I’m going to do it.”

I nodded as my eyes wandered over the surroundings. My God, that place was gorgeous! I felt I’d been transported back to colonial times. The homes in town were white brick with beautiful sloping roofs and front porches with swings on them. I was so used to LA, with its ranchers and Spanish Mission Revival, that I’d forgotten how picturesque a place like this could be. As we drove on, I started to see grand estates sitting on enormous lots. Jenna veered off on a secondary road toward the ocean, and farther off, I saw the towering roof of a white-and-earth-tone mansion.

“Tell me that isn’t yours…”

Jenna laughed and took a remote out of the glove box. She hit a button, and the immense outer gate opened soundlessly. There it was, her summer home, stately and impressive.

It was done in the neoclassical style, old-fashioned but exquisite, on a property that overlooked the sea. Even from the car, I could hear the waves. Soft lights lined the road to the garage, which had room for at least ten cars.

It was a structure of white brick with a porch surrounded by immense columns. The surrounding gardens were of a green I hadn’t seen in ages, and there were two-hundred-year-old oaks that seemed to be bowing to greet us.

“You’re getting married here? Jesus, Jenna, this is amazing,” I said, unable to take my eyes off her home…and it wasn’t like I wasn’t used to luxury. I’d lived at the Leister residence, but this was something totally different… It was magical.

“Actually, I’m not getting married here. That was the plan at first, but when I talked to my father, I realized how much he wanted me to do it somewhere we’d always talked about, a vineyard about an hour away, that he used to always take me to when I was little. We’d ride on horseback there, and I remember one time, he told me he wanted to see me there in my wedding dress. It’s a place that’s almost enchanted in a way I can’t really describe. I was barely ten, but I remember dreaming of being a princess getting married there. Dad still remembers it, too.”

“If it’s prettier than this, I can’t even imagine.”

“It is. You’re going to love it. Lots of people get married there.”

We walked over to the stairway and climbed the ten steps to the porch. The wood creaked softly under my feet. It was music to my ears.

You can’t envision what it was like inside: You hardly noticed the walls in that immense space with its wood floors. In the center, several sofas surrounded a modern fireplace. To one side stood ornate bookshelves and armchairs next to a stairway leading to the second floor, where a banister allowed a view of the space below.

“How many people are staying here, Jenn?”

Jenna slung her blazer over one sofa and guided me into the kitchen. It, too, was huge, with a sitting area with plush yellow chairs and a breakfast nook. The broad windows opened onto the backyard. Beyond it was the beach with its immaculate white sand and, no less tempting, a large swimming pool.

“Let’s see…in total, I think ten, counting you, me, Lion, and Nick. The others, the ones who don’t have a house nearby, are staying at a hotel right on the water.”

When I heard Nick’s name, I looked out the window and nodded, trying to look unflustered to keep her from seeing how much her mention of him affected me.

But she did notice and locked eyes with me after taking two bottles of ginger ale from the refrigerator.

“Noah, it’s been ten months… I know it still hurts, and I waited this long in part for you guys, because I wasn’t about to get married without my two best friends, but…are you going to be okay? I mean, it’s been…”

“I know, Jenna. And I’m not going to lie to you and say I’m over it and I don’t care, because that’s not true. But we both knew this had to happen at some point. We’re basically family… It was just a matter of time till we’d have to see each other’s faces again.”

Jenna nodded, and I had to look away. I didn’t like what my eyes revealed: When people talked about Nick, it was like stepping into a quagmire. I could manage my pain; I had done it, and I would go on doing it day after day. I didn’t need anyone’s pity. I had ruined our relationship, and being alone with a broken heart was my punishment.

Jenna showed me to my room. I was happy to be there: I was exhausted. She hugged me and showed me how the shower worked, and as she walked off, she shouted that I’d better rest, because the next day, there was no stopping. I smiled, and when she left, I turned the tap, ready for a relaxing hot bath.

I knew the next few days would be hard. I’d have to keep my composure for Jenna so she wouldn’t see what a wreck I was.

That upcoming week would require an Oscar-worthy performance on my part… Not just for Jenna, but for Nick, too, because he would see my vulnerability and would take any opportunity to wound me in my heart and soul… Anyway, I guessed that was what he wanted.

I woke up early, roused by the sun shining through the open curtains. As I looked out, the ocean’s waves seemed to tell me good morning. We were so close to the sea, I could almost feel the sand between my toes.

I threw on a bikini and went to the kitchen, where I found Jenna awake and talking to a woman who was sitting in front of her, drinking coffee. They both smiled when they saw me.

“Noah, come here and let me introduce you,” Jenna said, standing up and taking my arm. The woman was very pretty: Asian with immaculately styled brown hair. She was…neat. That was the best word to describe her. “This is Amy, my wedding planner.”

I shook her hand and smiled. “It’s a pleasure.”

Amy gave me an approving look and took a booklet out of her purse, flipping the pages quickly and confidently. “Jenna told me you were pretty, but seeing you now… The bridesmaid’s dress is going to look amazing on you.”

I smiled, blushing, while Jenna sat next to me, taking a bite from a piece of toast.

“Now listen, I need to be the best looking one at my wedding.” With her mouth full, I could hardly understand her, but I knew she was joking. She was pretty enough to stand out in any crowd.

“Look, Noah, here’s your dress,” Amy said, showing me a photo. It was Vera Wang, gorgeous, red, with a V cut and two thin straps crossing sexily in the back. “You like?”

How could I not? When Jenna had asked me to be her bridesmaid, I almost burst into tears, but we made an agreement: if I said yes, she had to find me a dress that didn’t make me look cheesy. And she’d taken my request seriously. It was out of this world.

“Who are the other bridesmaids?” I asked, unable to take my eyes from the picture.

Jenna grinned. “I decided just to have one,” she confessed, and I froze.

“Wait, what…?” I exclaimed. “What about your cousin Janina or Janora or whatever her name is?”

Jenna turned around and walked to the fridge while Amy ignored us, walking to a corner of the kitchen to listen better as she took a call.

Jenna grabbed strawberries and milk and set them on the counter. She shrugged as she turned to take the pitcher from the blender and make herself a shake. “Janina is unbearable. My mother almost forced me to make her my maid of honor, but I wouldn’t budge, and when I said, ‘Fine, she can be bridesmaid number two,’ she realized two would look even weirder than one, so she gave in. ‘We need to keep it proportional.’ Those were her words.”

I rolled my eyes. Great. Now I was going to have to do it all by myself, stand there in front of hundreds of guests, with no one to share in my misfortune.

“Anyway, you know…Lion’s only going to have one friend up there, so I don’t have to worry about it being weird. It’ll look like that’s the way we planned it.”

Before I could take in what my friend had just said, the sound of the blender filled the room, drowning out my contrary thoughts.

Wait… She’d only have one friend up there, and if the same went for Lion…

“Jenna!” I shouted, standing up and crossing the kitchen. She was busy staring at the blender. I turned it off, and she turned to look at me. “Am I the maid of honor?”

A guilty look crossed her face. “I’m sorry, Noah, but Lion doesn’t have a dad, and obviously you knew Nick would be his best man. I wasn’t gonna have my mom at the altar if Lion’s dad couldn’t be there, it didn’t seem right, so we decided to have our best friends stand up with us.”

I closed my eyes. “Do you realize what you’re asking of me?”

Not only was I going to have to walk into the church with Nicholas, but we’d also have to collaborate to make sure everything went according to plan. That meant seeing each other at the rehearsal as well as the ceremony.

I hadn’t thought about all that because I’d taken it for granted that Jenna had chosen a maid of honor, and I figured I’d just see Nick in the distance… I’d be in the same room, but we wouldn’t have to interact with each other. But now I realized I’d be stuck with him throughout the whole ceremony, even during the dinner afterward.

Jenna grabbed my hands and looked me in the eyes. “It’s just a few days, Noah,” she said, trying to transmit a calm that I wouldn’t have been able to feel in a million years. “You’ve turned the page, months have passed… Everything will go smoothly, you’ll see.”

“You’ve turned the page…”

She must have meant him. Because I was constantly struggling to catch a breath so I could rise, however briefly, to the surface.