One-Timer (Carolina Comets)

Lowell: Gordie?

Hollis: Umm…no.

Lowell: Howe?

Hollis: How what?

Lowell: No. Like Gordie Howe.

Hollis: Goldie Hawn???

Lowell: What? NO!

Lowell: GORDIE HOWE

Hollis: Never heard of her.

Lowell: I…

Lowell: I thought your hockey knowledge was much more up to par than this.

Lowell: I have failed you.

Lowell: In fact, I’m retiring right now. I cannot, in good conscience, have a baby with a woman who doesn’t know who Gordie Howe is.

Hollis: You’ll get over it.

Lowell: Sorry. I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m dead.

Hollis: And dramatic. Don’t forget dramatic.

Hollis: Um…sir?

Lowell: Okay, first, I didn’t realize that would be hot.

Hollis: It’s not happening, so move on.

Lowell: *grumbles* Fine. Moving on.

Lowell: How may I help you, ma’am?

Hollis: Did you have a pizza delivered to my apartment? Specifically a heart-shaped one?

Lowell: Oh. That.

Lowell: Yeah, it was me.

Hollis: Why????

Lowell: Because it’s Valentine’s Day.

Lowell: Our baby might not be here yet, but I wanted to make sure Momma was taken care of.

Hollis: That’s…really sweet. Like really, really sweet.

Hollis: I kind of want to kiss you right now.

Lowell: I’d let you.

Hollis: I’m sure you would.

Lowell: I wish we weren’t on the road AGAIN.

Lowell: Fuck, I hate road games.

Lowell: Especially because I’m always stuck on the bus next to Miller and he never wants to shut the hell up.

Hollis: Miller shuts up?

Lowell: No. Literally never.

Lowell: Right now, he’s telling me the same story he started telling me ON THE PLANE.

Lowell: That was HOURS ago.

Lowell: And it’s not even a good story. I guessed the ending two minutes into it.

Hollis: Tell him to pipe down.

Lowell: I have. I do.

Lowell: Next time, I’m bringing duct tape.

Hollis: He’ll probably just lick it off.

Lowell: Probably.

Lowell: How’s work going? Getting ahead like you wanted to?

Hollis: Yes, though I think I’m going to call it a night. I’m tired. Baby is sucking up all my energy today.

Lowell: Go rest, then. Take your pizza to bed and spoon with it and pretend it’s me.

Hollis: That’s not weird at all.

Lowell: Hey, I know some people who take their pizza very seriously and wouldn’t bat an eye.

Hollis: I am really scared to know if you’re “some people.”

Lowell: Guess you’ll never know.

Hollis: See you tomorrow?

Lowell: Yes.

Lowell: Oh, and happy Valentine’s Day.

Lowell: I’ll give you your present tomorrow. *tongue emoji*

Lowell: Elsa?

Hollis: She’s a total badass, but no.

Hollis: What about Georgia?

Lowell: Like the state?

Hollis: Yes.

Lowell: Hmm…I don’t hate it.

Hollis: This would be a lot easier if I knew what we were having…

Lowell: It would be, except you don’t want to know, remember?

Lowell: In fact, you promised me bodily harm if I tried to tell you.

Hollis: So you’re saying you’re scared of me?

Lowell: HA! Not a chance.

Lowell: But also…yes.

Lowell: Then again, if you punched me, it wouldn’t be the first time.

Hollis: LOWELL!

Hollis: I swear, if you keep bringing that up…

Lowell: It was traumatic!

Hollis: It was not! If anything, it probably turned you on.

Hollis: Lowell?

Hollis: Oh god.

Hollis: It did, didn’t it??

Hollis: LOWELL!

Hollis: Oh, wait. I just realized you’re probably playing hockey right now.

Hollis: GO TEAM! TOUCHDOWN!

Hollis: I think the doctor missed flirting with you today.

Lowell: I’m sorry I couldn’t be there.

Hollis: Me too.

Lowell: How’d it go?

Hollis: Everything is looking good. Baby is healthy.

Lowell: And Momma?

Hollis: She’s healthy too. Just hungry.

Lowell: What do you want? I’ll send you food.

Hollis: You don’t have to send me food every time I’m hungry. I’m a big girl. I can feed myself.

Hollis: Besides, I have another appointment to get to.

Lowell: Another one?

Lowell: I don’t see anything on my Google calendar.

Hollis: It’s for an apartment viewing.

Lowell: Oh.

Lowell: Is that what you want? A bigger apartment?

Hollis: More like I NEED a bigger one.

Hollis: Hell, YOU barely fit in this one.

Hollis: Besides, it’ll be nice to be closer to you and the rink and everything. Makes it easier on everyone for when the baby comes.

Lowell: Because you’ll be there, and I’ll be here.

Hollis: Exactly.

Lowell: That is what you want, right?

Hollis: Are you coming over tonight?

Lowell: Probably not. Early morning at the rink. Rain check?

Hollis: Sure.

Lowell: Night.