One Sided Love

(After Few months) Kate

I looked like a fat buffalo.... damn my stomach is so huge that I can't even looked at my feets... Alex parents laughed about it n say that im carrying a Robbins baby so its normal...

I do notice that whenever the topic of my pregnancy came along Alex become guarded n very tense... like my baby is becoming more real to him.... some things have changed like he now never left the bed when we have sex.... he do ask my appointment but never visit to one of the appointment with me... those moments make me believe how firm he is about his decision regarding my baby girl... he never ever asked about the gender of the baby but he do notice the things happening around him.... like his mom n Rachael helping me setting a nursery... Rachel has become a good friend of mine n in every visit she bring pink nursery stuff n clothes...the nursery is not big its a tiny room but since its near my room im ok with it... My father do visit our home to take emma to his house or park but never he asked about my baby n me... but he some how become a little bit civil... he greet me n then ignored me which is fine by me.. but when I saw him with emma... how he changed to caring n loving grandpa I also want this for my daughter... but I know it will never happen because im giving birth to her n because of me she will never loved... but I will try my best to make Alex n my father loved my baby too...I don't know how I will do it.... god help me on this....

Doctor has told me to be ready on next month when my little girl will came into this world... n Im so scared will Alex be there for me...will he be holding my hand n hold her child for the first time... I wished he will..

Alex has gone to my father house to pick emma... me n martha are preparing the dinner... when Alex n Emma have comed... emma start running n hugged me tight

I laughed' Hi my fireball...hold on a little let me sit I can't even see you when you hugged my leg because of my huge tummy'

Emma giggled n I with difficulty sit in the chair... my pregnancy is proving a little difficult to me day by day especially when I have to sit or have to stand... n in night when I have pee I can't even turn properly n at take me ages... Alex never helped me in those moments but since I never asked who can blame him... but Martha has become a supporting soul in this where she helped me something to stand... put my swollen feets in warm water....

Emma said ' when the baby come out of your tummy mama'

I see Alex was standing there n he become tense when he heard about baby but he say nothing

I replied 'Soon baby very soon'

Alex said he will take a shower ... I have a feeling something is wrong but don't know what. Alex

Kate pregnancy is becoming real to me more day by day n its unsettling ... I will never get the award of husband of the year because im not a supportive husband to her in her pregnancy... I saw how she winced when she sit or stand... how difficult is for her to turned n go the bathroom in night... how are breathing changed when she walked n take a support of any chair or table to stand.... n in some day how are feets become so swollen that she can't walk properly... n how she rubbed her shoulders n give herself those small massages to soothe her pain.....

Even ever I see her like this I realized what shity person Im ... I remember when Emily was pregnant I used to spoil her with death... give her the every support she needs... she used to demand me to massage her back n shoulder ... n I loved those moments... if I ever treat emily in such way the way I was treating kate... Emily would have killed me.... but kate never complained once.... she just smiled n never share her pain with anyone..

What I made a promise that Emma is my priority n no ones going to take her place ... especially when today emily mother cry in front of me n said that how much she missed Emily n after kate given the birth.. emma will be neglected... I told Mona that no one neglect her... but when Emily mother said I should give emma to her n live my life with new family... I become shocked how dare she take my emma from me

She said ' plz Alex dont take it in a wrong way but this way emma will be loved more n you will have a new family too... you think you know kate .... what no one knows better than me... once her baby is born she will try to make you loved the baby more n this way emma will be neglected'

I replied No Mona... this will never happen... I told kate n im telling you emma is my only heir of the Robbins n no one...'

She said ' Then promised me ... that you will always put my dead child daughter first n no one else...

I looked uncomfortable but I somehow the words come out in my mouth ' I promised you'

Kate

Martha was in the kitchen when I come to get Alex coffee ... she looked to me n said 'Kate I want to tell me something'

I picked her hands n said 'yeah Martha.. everything is ok?'

She replied 'Actually no... my daughter husband has a accident n he is alright but my daughter needs me... she had called mant time to come to her... but I can't because I can't leave you in this condition... but her kids are so small n they need me...

I stopped her n said ' Martha why don't you tell me before of course you can leave... n plz tell me if you need anything.... now go n packed your stuff n don't worry about me... I still have time'

She hugged me n say thanks.

I picked Alex coffee n went to his office ... he was staring his laptop screen... I put his coffee on table n give him a shy smile... he looked n give a hesitant smile n moved to look at something on the screen... I moved to stand beside him n kissed his lips n neck n said 'Are you busy?... if not then let gets back to bed'

He kissed me but said ' no I have something to finished this work... you go n sleep'

I start massaging his shoulders n rubbing my hands on his neck.... then I said ' everything is ok Alex... you look at little tense'

He was quite for a moment.. then he said.. 'everything is fine... just a work....

He stop but I know he want to say something else

He said 'Actually I want to tell you thay I have a meeting in this week but its in Canada... I was delaying this but no I can't its very important'

I become shocked n said 'Alex you can't leave me alone in this pregnancy... you know my dates are closer'

He gives me one of his guarded looked 'I said I can't delay this anymore... n besides you know who want this baby more'

Here it comes again... im stupid to bring my pregnancy in front of him... but still he is going to leave me alone?

He looked uncomfortable about what he said n then he says 'kate you still have time dont you? Im going to be away at least for a week n then come back...n you won't be alone but this is important trust me'

I reluctantly said ' yeah im sorry.... its my hormone was speaking... I become tense ... sure you're going to be back soon'

I try to give myself a hope..He said 'yeah I will try to be back soon...'☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐