One Mate and a Rejection

Chapter 19

The drive back home was surprisingly calming after school despite yet another argument from

Lisa and John. I kept thinking of the way Jared had held me as we agreed to be nothing more than friends from now on.

Something inside of me gnawed at my stomach though. Something that kept getting stronger and stronger:

Blade.

Where was he? I didn’t see him at school, should we meet up today?

Go for a run.

After all, it is for our wolves, not ourselves.

The other soul in me laughed.

Just for our wolves, yeah right.

I loved being around him and I had to learn to admit it. His calming presence and golden eyes let me down a trail of light whenever I saw them.

I couldn’t help but wonder if he felt the same.

It was sad knowing that our relationship only exists because of our connection.

There’s no love in it, no...knowledge in each other.

It wasn’t like Lisa and John , despite their current rough patch.

Their love for each other was greater than their love for themselves.

Blade and I’s relationship consisted of nothing more than a bunch of uncontrollable...stirrings.

I didn’t know him enough to love him and i’m pretty sure I didn’t like him before I found out we were mates.

He was always known as the son of the traitor, the player and the party guy with no life.

I never thought I’d grow to like his personality.

But that’s it.

He was merely another messed up soul who lets it out in anger and sleeping around.

I don’t think I could grow to love him because I’m not the one who has feelings for him, my wolf does and it frustrated me.

If it weren’t for our wolves, none of this would have happened.

And Jared and I would have been able to be together.

There I go again, with my thoughts of Jared.

I needed a tattoo or something to alway remind me that we can’t be together.

We both had mates.

I arrived home ten minutes later and I immediately wished I hadn’t.

There sat mom on my favorite black leather couch, legs crossed together as if awaiting my return.

“hello Emerald,” she greeted as I dropped my bag.

A weird greeting, too formal as if for a stranger.

Little did I concern myself with the slow transformation of her knowledge of me.

To her, it felt like we’re strangers now.

“Hey mom,” I replied brightly, as an attempt to brighten up the room.

She studied my face as I grew closer.

“Don’t change your cloths,” she said slowly,” You have an appointment in fifteen minutes.”

Confused, I asked,” with who?”

“It’s a alcoholics help clinic in downtown. Its got really good reviews so I booked you in.”

“You didn’t even ask me!” I snapped, suddenly nervous with new born panic.

I shouldn’t have lied but I did and now I’m paying for it.

As much as people tell you and remind you that lying gets you no where, people still do it.

“You need help Emerald!” she stood up,” this-this disgusting addictions has to be stopped!”

“But mom, it’s not even that serious!”

“It’s serious enough that your sneaking out to drink!”

Five minutes later I found myself in the passenger seat of my moms mini van.

She talked and talked as we drove to this place and she didn’t once stop to give her self a break.

“Jason’s birthday is soon and you know that special cake that he likes? I thought of buying him and making him his favorite lamb stew with some mashed potato and gravy on the side. Maybe some corn, he likes corn but he likes cooked broccoli too. That’s good, because you never really liked broccoli, only when it’s raw and that’s strange but healthy. At least I got one kid that likes it cooked, because I like it cooked. Raw tastes bad. I hope Amanda likes lamb stew, Jason told me she also likes salads so I’ll make a really big salad, maybe with some dipping sauce. Should I make garlic bread also? Nah, that’s too much work.”

When we reached the clinic, she parked the car and exited.

I let out a sigh but did the same.

We made our way inside and towards the office.

“Hi, how can I help you,” said the over chirpy, too much makeup wearing women that sat behind the desk.

“We have an appointment here for 3:30,” my mom smiled.

“Yes, for Emerald, right?”

“Yup,” my mom proudly placed her hands on my shoulders.

“You’re her mother, correct?”

“Yes.”

“You can’t be with her. This is strictly help without any parents around.”

“But-” my mom began to protest.

“I’m sorry, those are the rules. Teens feels pressured when their parents are around.”

“But I need my mom with me,” I said,” I wouldn’t feel pressured at all.”

“I don’t make the rules.”

My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach.

Despite the fight my mom and i had had, I needed her here with me. Who knows what type of things I wouldn’t be handle here without her.

“You need this Em,” my mom said,” I’ll pick you up at five.”

“Five?” I snapped.

“See ya honey,” she planted a kiss on my forehead and left.

I sighed and turned back to the woman,” where do I go?”

She smiled, seeming satisfied,” Next door to the right.”

“Whore,” I muttered under my breath and left

I hated the room as soon as I entered.

The walls were dull and grey and in the middle was a circle of chairs with about four or five people already seated.

“Hello,” stood up a guy about twenty five years old,” you must me...”

“Emerald.”

“Like the eyes?” he joked.

“Yup.”

“Hi emerald, I’m Tony,” he shook my moist hands.

“You seem nervous.”

“I’ve never been to one of these.”

“Well, you’ll love it.”

I sat in the circle of chairs and waited for all the other people to show up.

Most were in their twenties and only a couple were my age.

Finally, Tony stood up.

“Alright, now that everybody is here, let’s began with introducing our selves. I’ll began, my name is Tony.”

“Hi Tony,” everybody chorused.

“I am twenty-five years old, and I am a recovered alcoholic, next?”

“Uhh, I’m mark-”

“Hi mark.”

“I’m twenty four years old and I am an alcoholic,” said a deep voiced guy with messy blond hair and stained cloths.

The circle continued until it reached me. I swallowed.

“Hi, I am Emerald-”

“Hi emerald.”

“I’m eighteen years old and uhh, I’m an alcoholic.”

Tony nodded and moves on to the next person.

After everyone’s name and age was said, tony began to explain the tough challenges and patches you face that can make you an alcoholic. By the end of his speech I knew I’d never want to become one.

At break time, I went to the snack bar and nibbled on some cheese.

A man I recognized as Steve in his late twenties approached the table.

He looked around and than reached into to the inner pocket of his jacket and pulled out a can of beer. He chugged it quickly and threw it in the garbage.

He looked at me,” What the hell are you looking at?”

“You know the whole point of this is to get people to stop drinking.”

“Look, I’m only doing this for my fiancé. I don’t give a crap about this at all and you know what honey? I bet you don’t either.”

With that, he strut away, swaying on his two feet and humming.

Confused, I only wished harder to go home.

Mom picked me up at five as she promised and smothered me with questions.

I figured the only way to avoid going to another one of these meetings was if I told her it helped and that’s exactly what I did.

She seemed pleased and I hoped she’d forget the whole thing soon.

When we got home, I waited at one o’clock before sneaking out. I made sure to stuff my bed with pillows making it seem I’m sleeping and grabbed a prop wig similar to my hair color and set it under with a few strands loose for sight.

I hopped out the window and shifted, heading straight for the cliff where I know he’ll be.

My insides felt refreshed just thinking about him.

I reached the cliff three minutes later and let out a mental sigh when I caught sight of his beautiful wolf standing proudly and fearlessly at the edge of the cliff.

When he sensed my arrival, he turned around.

Just like that, the stress we’ve been carrying just floated away. It was as if his simple presence send hormones of relaxation into my body.

We ran and ran that night and we got tired, we laid besides each other, leaning on the biggest boulder there is.

We both shifted behind a tree and I borrowed one of his shirts again.

I looked at his eyes.

They were reflecting the moons bright color.

My stomach began to tie in knots and I reminded myself that it was my wolf, not me.

“My mom thinks I’m an alcoholic,” I blurted out.

He glanced at me,” Why?”

“She cried and begged me to tell her what’s wrong so I lied to get her off my back.”

“What happened?”

“She made me an appointment with some alcoholic help clinic today and I went.”

“How did it go?”

I shut my eyes,” It was weird. I didn’t know alcohol can effect people’s life like it does.”

“Does your mom still think you’re addicted?”

“I hope not.”

“I don’t know what to tell the guys. They see that I’m getting weak. They are still wondering why I fainted. I don’t even have a lie figured out.”

“You know that meeting like this in private will only keep our wolves going for a little while, right? Sooner or later they will want more. They will want something we can’t give them and meeting like this wouldn’t help anymore.”

“I know. They’d wanna mate.”

I blushed and looked away.

“Are you ready to lose your wolf forever? And your health and energy.”

“No, and I don’t think I’ll ever be.”

“I used to hear stories about people who couldn’t be with their mate. I thought they weren’t real though. They all said they’d rather be dead that some half alive thing.”

“I would too, what’s a life for a werewolf with no wolf. Our wolves are like organs for humans. If one organ is gone, you can’t function properly expect our wolf if just one big organ. Without, we are just a body with barely any blood in it.”

I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder.

“I wish I can have what Lisa and John have. Love and easy love. We don’t have that. Why did destiny or whoever does this put us two together? I used to hate you.”

His head jerked in my direction,” Why?”

“Well, I didn’t hate you. I just heard so many bad things that I just, disliked you.”

He nodded,” I know my reputation. Player, sleeps around, no parents, messed up and that’s exactly how I was.”

“Was?”

“Yes.”

“We have no feelings for each other Blade. It’s our wolves that are attracted to each other. If you think about it, without our wolves, I wouldn’t even be here.”

He stared at me,” What the hell are you trying to say?”

I shrugged,” nothing, it’s just- we don’t love each other and I don’t think we can. Our humans aren’t in love.”

“Love like what? Lisa and John? Jared and jasmine?”

I gulped and licked my dry lips nervously.

“Or maybe you and Jared?”

“We dont-”

“Really? Because I saw you guys at lunch today, you sitting on his lap, forgetting that you have a mate while he kisses your head and plays with your hair-”

“We were just talking-”

“Did you know he fought me while my wolf was separating? I was too weak to do anything-”

“He was just in shock-”

“You say that we have no feelings for each other, it’s just our wolves. What if I told you that I used to sleep around with a lot of girls and after I found out you were my mate, I only slept with one and I hated myself for it. I’m still disgusted. I can’t even find a girl interesting anymore. Anytime I see a decent looking girl, I compare her to you mentally and automatically and suddenly she’s ugly and you’re the queen of my mind-”

“Blade-”

“When I saw you with Jared, it wasn’t just my wolf that felt the jealously, anger and hurt.”

He stood up,” it was my human too.”

He checked his watch,” I gotta go.”

I didn’t stop him. I watched as he disappeared into the forest and heard the growling sound of him shifting. Afterwards I picked up the sloppy blob of confusion that I called myself and headed home.