Chapter 20
Hailey's POV
"What were you thinking?" Jaxon says barging in to my room and banging the door closed.
"I'm thinking about my friend! Or the crazy animal growls I hear nonstop!" I say making him chuckle. "Why couldn't you just stay in your room and stop being so curious?" He asks and this time, I chuckle.
"Oh because you were going to give me all the answers?" I ask.
Jaxon sits on my bed. Letting out a loud sigh and rubbing his face.
"Yes, in time I was." He says.
"In time? In time? What about now? I have so many questions and now I'm starting to wonder about us." I say which has him getting to his feet and pulling me to him
"What do you mean?" He asks and I pull away from him.
"I saw you today. I saw you with Azuri, alone together." I say looking down.
Jaxon's finger touches my chin and pulls my face up to look at him.
"There is nothing going on with Azuri." He says but I shake my head no
"How can I be sure of it? When you've been with other girls when you were with her. You practically denied me in front of your friends with the way you spoke to me today." I say, feeling the tears fill up in my eyes.
Jaxon tries to grab my hand but I step back.
"I'm starting to question why you wanted us to be private. I mean, the way you said my name. It was as if I disgusted you or I was a nuisance to you." I say, this time the tears were coming out like a waterfall.
"That's not true." Jaxon tries to defend himself.
"But it is and you know it. You let Azuri push me around and your friends laughed at me. You then went on to speak to me like I'm some low life that's beneath you. I have never felt so humiliated in my life and trust me when I say I've seen enough humiliation in my life.” I say, wiping the tears off my face.
"Get out Jaxon. Get out and leave me alone. I want nothing to do with you in private because you don't care about me in public.” I say to him. The pain hitting me hard this time as I come to the realization that I was just a secret love affair that meant nothing to him.
"Hailey, I care about you." He says to me.
"No, you don't. I'm just one of your conquests that you dated in secret. How many others are there?" I ask.
"You're the only one Hailey, please." He says, trying to grab my hand and this time succeeding.
I feel a calm warmth take over my body upon his touch which almost makes me forget that I am angry at him.
"Don't." I say, yanking my hand away from him and creating a safe distance from him.
I need to feel this pain. I need to understand my anger and why I feel so betrayed.
"Jaxon, today I saw the real you. The bully you and cheater you. I saw my secret boyfriend holding another girl's hand. This was no ordinary girl, no. Your ex girlfriend or fuck mate. I also got to feel how other kids must feel when you bully them and I can tell you right now that it is no fun, not on my receiving end.” I say, feeling the tears start up again.
"I have so much on my plate right now that I don't even know why I decided to date you and how in the world I agreed to be some secret girlfriend! I may not be popular like Azuri but I know damn well I can challenge her in the looks department but one thing I won't do is become a bully like you, which she is and I think that's where every other girl, like me comes to the realization that you and Azuri are probably meant to be together. You are not a nice person and I am, I have such a good heart that you took advantage of. My innocence entices you. The fact that you get to be my first in every way, excites you. You are a male so it is expected and it's quite clear that I give off virgin energy with my lack of friends or social skills but I will not be fooled by you again. Get out of my room and from this day, you leave me the fuck alone.” I say, storming my way to the door and opening it to let him out.
"Hailey, I really like you. I care about you, a great deal! Please don't do this." He pleads with me. "After your true display of disgust earlier today, nothing can change my mind. You want to be a womanizer right? You played me, well done but this ends now. Get out before I scream profanities and gaining attention.” I warm him.
"You want me to tell the world about us? Fine! I can do that." Jaxon says to me, fishing out his phone.
"It's too late now." I say.
"It's not over between us." Jaxon says to me before storming off and I close the door, falling to the ground crying.
It hurt.
It hurts so bad right now. Standing up to Jaxon took so much of me.
Every fiber in my being begging me to run after him and make things right. My heart aching to forgive him and forgetting about today but I couldnt. He hurt me, allowed his friends to humiliate me and then laugh at me.
I stand up to brush my hair for bed, staring in to the mirror, the tears still coming out as the pain grows. Looking at myself, internally asking myself how this happened. With all the pain I still had to deal with, I immersed myself in to boy drama and played around that pool. Look at me now, wet and damaged.
Imagine I had given in to my body's desires, the itch I have for him. Did he really use me if he didn't take advantage of my need for him to go further? Or is he so evil that he actually wanted me to believe he cared, toying around my body as a game to really enjoy the prize?
I feel my blood boil as my pain turns to rage, my hair brush falling to the ground as I hear my heart beat erratically, almost out of my chest.
My pupils dilating and turning to a golden color.
I step back from the mirror in shock before my heart calms down but my eyes still golden.
What is happening to me?