One Big Little Secret: Chapter 19
As the weeks trickle by and winter thaws, we start living part-time at Patton’s place.
Entire weekends plus half the evenings during the week.
At first, I was worried Arlo would question it, but he’s taken the big change in stride.
After all, what kid wouldn’t want to spend more time in the ‘Pat Cave’? I can’t stop laughing at the goofy nickname Patton came up with for his place.
Pretty ironic when the place isn’t that cavernous when people are there.
It’s modern and warm and infinitely more than anything I deserve. The place would make my parents eat their materialistic hearts out.
But it’s not the house that has me spinning.
It’s the plain, cold fact that I can’t get enough of Patton Rory.
The craving feels like a force of nature, this weird emotional magnetism that only gets stronger with every visit. The more I get used to being around him, the more time I want to spend with him.
The fewer nights I want to sleep alone.
The best mornings are the ones where I wake up in his arms.
Well, sort of.
My butt always seems to be magically glued to his dick every time. It only takes a few minutes to feel him go other places.
It’s no surprise, then, to wake up with my head halfway off the pillow, his arm draped over my waist, and my legs twined in his.
I sleepily regain consciousness before shifting until my back presses against his bare chest.
God, how is he always so warm?
It feels too good on these late winter mornings.
His heat soaks into me. I bite my lip when I feel his hard-on. The movement makes him stir and his embrace tightens.
“Patton?” I whisper. I grind against him, this time deliberately, feeling him harden to his full glory.
My eyes flick to the charger clock on his nightstand.
Oof. We won’t have long before Arlo wakes—if we have any time at all—and there’s a little something I’d like to finish before then.
“It’s morning. Wakey-wakey,” I whisper.
“I’m up.” His hand creeps up my shirt and cups my breast before I can say another word. “You really think I’d miss my favorite wake-up call?”
“Would you? I’m not wearing panties.”
I feel his chest swell as he inhales.
“Goddammit. Have I ever told you how hot you are?” He reaches around me, trailing warm fingers along my stomach and dipping down, skating across my thighs and drawing circles on my hips.
My legs open, encouraging his fingers to find their way home.
“So eager.” He chuckles, the sound low and dark in my ear. “You’re going to spoil my fun.”
“Oh, the things I have in mind won’t spoil anything.”
Finally, he reaches the sweet spot between my legs.
I gasp at the contact when his thumb grazes my clit.
“Not so loud.” I swear I can feel his smile as he nips my ear.
As he slides his fingers through my slickness, I arch my back and twist my hips, just enough so his cock nudges my entrance.
The hand on my breast hesitates for a second as I roll and wiggle myself onto him.
Oh, just the tip.
I need to feel him.
It barely lasts before he sucks my throat, adding his teeth.
“You tease,” he groans, taking my hips and sliding me the rest of the way down.
Heaven.
He fills me, stretching my walls in the best way.
The eye-rolling moan that slips out of me tastes like pure melted honey.
We’ve fucked so many ways by now, but this is one of my favorites.
Softly.
Quietly.
Nothing between our slick, steaming flesh except the want boiling the air.
It’s a claiming, tender and intense, yet so different from the drunken excitement of our first time or the heated wildness of other romps. Here, in the moment, joined by our bodies, we’re one.
He nips my neck again—not hard enough to draw blood, but with just enough evil intensity. Shock mingles with the pleasure building in my core.
“Never forget you’re mine,” he rumbles, coiling my hair in his fist.
I think it’s a substitute for the three little words neither of us are ready to say.
“Yours,” I whisper, hearing his breath go ragged as his thrusts quicken.
“Say it again.”
For a hot minute, I can’t.
Especially when he does that thing where his thrusts jackhammer, quickening abruptly as he brings me so close.
“Yours, yours.” My breath hitches. “Patton, please.”
“Good girl,” he rasps.
Then his palm crashes against my ass and I’m gone.
Coming!
He pulls me in, just in time to stifle the messy hitched noises pouring out of me as my pussy convulses around his punishing cock.
He makes me come so hard I’m thrown back to Zion Peak, to our very first night, where my eyes glowed with so many stars.
And he just plunges deeper, harder, bringing rough strokes that break reality.
He finishes with a gritty curse as he fills me with come.
My whole mind whites out, pleasure arcing through my nerves like live wires until I short-circuit and slowly drift down from the high.
That’s the awe of having sex like this.
We flipping own each other.
You can call me ignorant and inexperienced when I’m definitely both. But I never saw it that way before—sex was just a physical act to satisfy a need, like scratching an itch.
And yes, sex like that is fine.
But this is different, swirling with emotions that tug my heart. Every time he touches me, I’m lost in the moment.
Happily lost with him.
And when I twist around to meet his gaze, dark with desire and that heady purple mark he’s left on my neck that I know I’ll need to cover up, I know he sees the same thing mirrored back.
Right now, nothing exists but us.
And he’s still not done. The man is part machine.
His fingers tighten on my hips. His other hand works my clit, rubbing, slowly tracing circles meant to rile me up for another round.
“Again? So soon?”
“Woman, I’m still hard as a brick. I could stay in bed with you all day,” he growls. Another half confession.
Seems like that’s how we speak these days.
These careful, half-formed thoughts and near confessions and little hints that come out loudest when we’re most unfiltered. What we don’t say is that this insanity is more than we ever could’ve dreamed.
That our red thread of fate already feels like a knot—and pulling it apart would mean brutally slashing the cord, dropping us on our heads.
It’s a terrifying thought, but so is how hard and fast I’ve fallen.
“Arlo will be up soon,” I whisper.
“Humor a man.”
Smiling, I close my eyes and lean back into him, enjoying the feeling of his hand splayed across my belly. “Good morning to you, too.”
“The best,” he agrees, reluctantly moving his hand away.
We lay together until the morning sun streams through the blinds. It’s getting brighter and earlier with spring closing in.
A second later, a not-so-distant thud tells me Arlo’s awake.
Patton’s arm falls away as I sit up quickly, trying to ignore the heavy sense of doubt about what’s ahead.
“What’s wrong, Lady Bug?”
“…are you sure today’s a good idea? I mean, are you certain?”
“Why would I not be sure?” He blinks as I look back at him, watching as the laziness fades from his face.
“Because it’s your mom and your family and I’m…” I hesitate. We’ve never given it a name even though it’s pretty clear. “I’m with you,” I finish lamely.
“Dexter already knows. If Archer’s brain wasn’t mixed up with a moose at birth, he’ll know it too.”
I slap his shoulder, laughing, but he’s right.
Dexter Rory has been dropping hints lately.
Dropping by The Cardinal to compliment me on the way things are going. Just happening to arrive at the same time Patton does and annoying his little brother to death.
The comments, too.
Sly remarks about how well we work together and how much we seem to enjoy each other’s company. Last time he was around, he even invited me to a dinner with him and his wife. That’s definitely not something you do for a random employee.
“They won’t be angry, I promise. What has you so worried?” Patton sits up and brushes my hair back from my face.
“Archer might be…”
“Then Archer will realize he’s an idiot for not seeing what’s happening right under his nose.”
“And your mother?” I swallow thickly. That’s the part that really scares me.
I burned my bridges with my family ages ago, and Arlo never knew them.
Until now, the thought of adopting more relatives through Patton never occurred to me. And what will they really think when they figure out Arlo’s a Rory and I’ve kept him hidden for five years?
If they don’t approve of me—
Yeah, I’m cooked.
“Stop it. Mom already loves you. You know that. Nothing that’s happened will change her mind one bit,” Patton says, folding an arm around my waist. Maybe it’s weakness, but I lean into him. “She’s only going to love you more.”
I so wish I shared his confidence.
“She likes me just fine as your employee, you mean. But not as your—” I stop cold.
I don’t want to say the word.
“My girlfriend?” he says firmly.
I watch his eyes flash, so bright and confident it scares me.
“Is that what we are, Patton? Boyfriend-girlfriend?”
“Why wouldn’t we be?” His grip tightens, holding me in place, though I know if I tried to move, he’d release me. That’s what’s so addictive about this man. He wants me enough to hold me close, but he respects me enough to let go.
“You saying you don’t want to be?” he demands when I don’t answer.
“We just never talked about it.”
“This is us talking. Now.”
He sounds so serious it makes me laugh, loving the moody scowl on his face.
“Thanks, Captain Obvious. Where would I be without you spelling out the conversation?”
I twist to face him completely and put my hands on his face.
Slowly, he takes my hand and raises it to his lips.
It’s incredible how the rake of his morning scruff and his lips take me apart.
“You’d still be mine,” he answers.
“Yours,” I echo, trying not to tear up.
And he kisses me after he kisses my hand, a dangerous edge to his mouth as he claims mine.
“It’s decided. We’ll go with girlfriend,” he says, sending butterflies swarming my belly again. “That enough for you to quit fussing? I’m sure about this, Salem.”
“You’re not even a little worried about how they’re going to react? With Arlo, I mean?”
He rests his forehead on mine.
“You don’t really know my mother yet. She’ll be thrilled out of her gourd. I’ll probably need to tie her down to keep her from taking off. But that won’t even be today.”
I smile. “Even if she knows I kept him a secret?”
“Salem, Salem,” he growls. “Why, after everything, is your self-esteem trailing miles behind your success? Enough bullshit.”
“I just…” I don’t know how to articulate it, this annoying uncertainty weighing me down. “I’m your employee.”
“What do you want me to do? Fire you first?”
“Dude, it’s a conflict of interest.”
“We weren’t employees when we hooked up and made a kid. Plus, I’m pretty sure my brothers would rather keep you at The Cardinal than risk having you step back and let someone less competent take over.” He rubs his nose against mine. “Also, us not dating isn’t an option. Firing you is, in theory,” he murmurs.
“What about Arlo?”
“What about him? We do this one bite at a time. Introducing you as my girlfriend now will be a whole lot easier than digesting the whole truth at once. Trust me.”
The anxious knot in my belly tries to climb up and spout more silly questions, but I choke it back down.
This is Patton’s family. He knows them better than I do, no argument.
“Okay,” I say.
“Remember when you told me about Arlo? We’ll ease into it.”
“I know, I know. I trust you.”
And I do.
He kisses me one last time for good measure, then slides past me off the bed.
“Speaking of Arlo, we better see what he’s up to,” he says, glancing back at me with a hint of that wicked smile he saves just for me. “Damn, woman. From the way you’re acting, I might think you’ve never met a man’s folks before.”
Deep breath.
“I haven’t.”
He stops midway through finding a shirt from his huge walk-in closet.
“Ah.” The material slips through his fingers as he turns back to me. “Ever?”
“I never had a serious boyfriend before you came along. Then with a newborn it was impossible, and after he got older, I was focused on my career, so yeah.” I shrug, hating the crawling, itchy shame that comes with this confession. “This is it. My first time.”
“God, Salem. I didn’t mean—”
“You didn’t think?” I quirk an eyebrow, daring him to smile. “My dating history isn’t very long. Or complicated.”
There’s another loud thud.
Arlo!
I swing into action, throwing on a robe over the t-shirt I wore to bed.
“I’d better go see what he’s up to,” I say ruefully. “Just in case he’s out of his room, destroying your house.”
“It’s a big place. He’d have a hard time ruining it.”
“Don’t say that to his face. He loves a challenge.”
Patton smiles, but it partly fades as he walks with me. “Hey, Salem? Thanks for trusting me.”
He could be a morning god, standing there in a shirt open at the collar, his hair still mussed from sleep. His eyes have that sleepy, sharp look he specializes in.
I don’t know how it happened, but I’ve placed all my trust in this man.
A smile curls my lips.
An answering smile lights in his eyes.
Thankfully, there’s no disaster waiting down the hall, just Arlo dumping his backpack out, trying to find his tablet.
We’re not expected at the Rory estate until dinner, so we spend the day together.
Patton takes us to the zoo and Arlo gets to scream with excitement at seeing all the animals from his nature books in the flesh and fur.
After we come back, Patton takes Arlo off to his study with the aquarium to talk about fish while I get ready.
Soon, I’m staring at my reflection in the mirror.
Mom used to call me pretty girl before I failed at life. When I was little, she’d brush my hair for half an hour sometimes. Now I know that’s because she wanted me to go to college, get an education I don’t need, and marry a man my parents low-key picked.
Yeah, that was never in the cards.
About the time I passed on college, she never complimented my looks again. Maybe that’s when I stopped believing I could be pretty, too.
When Patton calls me beautiful, it doesn’t quite compute. I search my face for signs he isn’t crazy.
Hazel eyes shot with gold.
Dark mocha-brown hair that ripples down my back when I let it.
A pointed Cupid’s bow on my upper lip.
A dark mole on my jaw, too low to be a beauty spot.
Eyebrows that need professional help to curve right.
Dimples that dip my cheeks even when I’m not smiling. They’ll sink when I get old, sucked into my skin with all the other wrinkles and lines of old age, and probably sooner than I think.
Will he still call me beautiful then if we’re together?
I brush the skin around my eyes. No deep lines there yet, except when I smile, but they’ll be coming soon enough.
Snorting, I drop my hand and reach for my makeup.
Thirty feels like it’s coming fast, but it’s not a death sentence.
If I haven’t made it yet, that’s not a crime.
I haven’t failed.
I have my crap together and I have a wonderful son.
Except, there’s still this burning need inside me for more. Patton fulfills that need beyond my wildest dreams, but I don’t just want to be a rich man’s arm candy, assuming he’s crazy enough to stick around.
At least the makeup brightens my face.
I brush my eyebrows into shape, cover the mole, then apply eyeshadow that brings out the gold in my eyes.
There.
Now I feel prettier with my flaws smoothed out. I curl my hair and leave it hanging loose over my shoulders, wishing I could leave my brain hanging too.
It’s just his family.
Just his filthy rich mother and two driven brothers who eat ambition for lunch.
But you’ve met them before.
Yes. As his employee.
Sweet Jesus, I hate my inner dialogue.
I tighten my fingers around the mascara wand as my phone buzzes on the table beside me. I wrinkle my nose.
Kayla.
Of course it’s her calling right now. Of course she’d interrupt this moment with some invented crisis or a new demand that’s all about her.
For a hot second, I consider declining the call.
She’d message later, though, furious to know what I’m doing that makes me too busy to talk to her. My best friend. My only friend.
She has a real knack for rubbing salt in the wounds and making it feel like a kindness.
It’s also not worth the hassle, so I grab the phone and answer, hoping to keep this brief.
“Hey, Kayla. What’s up?”
“You don’t sound excited to hear from me, Lemmy.” I can almost hear her pouting. “If you didn’t want to take the call, you didn’t have to.”
“Sorry, Kay. I’m just doing my makeup. You know how it is.”
“Oh? You’re wearing makeup?” Her tone changes like she can smell a juicy secret.
“It happens every once in a while.”
“What for? Have you got an event?” She pauses. “Oh my God, is it a date?”
“Nothing important,” I lie. “How was Hawaii?”
It’s the only thing that’s kept her away all this time—a long trip island hopping around the Pacific to distract her from the fact that Patton Rory hasn’t asked about her once.
“Amazing!” she gushes. “Did you see the photos I put on Insta? It was beautiful. So warm and relaxing. The surf was amazing and the turtles were cool. We even did a turtle tour with this lady who had like a cheetah cat. Can you believe that? She barked at me to put down my camera a few times and not to get too close, but still. It slapped.”
I roll my eyes and scrunch my hair, encouraging my curls to stay curled. Maybe I need more hairspray.
“Turtles, huh? Aren’t they a protected species?”
“Ugh, yeah. I wouldn’t have even hurt him with a little pat on the head. But they got all up my ass about how it’s a law there and shit. Crazy, right? They wouldn’t even let people surf by their little roped off beach area.”
My eyes roll right out of my head.
“I thought you didn’t surf?”
“No, but the guys do, and that was fun.”
Guys, plural. Okay. Hopefully that means Patton is already old news in her squirrel brain.
“And how did they hold up?”
“Oh, one guy was definitely a nine, and you know I never say that lightly. He’s Japanese and his dad owns a robot company back in Yokohama. He was so formal. Dude showed up for dinner with flowers.” She giggles.
Thank God. Maybe she’s finally moving on after all.
“Did you guys hook up?”
“Duh.” She snorts. “But he’s not as amazing in bed as you’d think. Some guys think dick and money is all it takes. They’ve got no game. I fell asleep every time he talked about his AI crap and crypto money.”
Well, damn. How disappointing.
“So you’re not seeing him again?”
“Why would I? I told you, he’s from Japan. Talk about long distance.” She uses the same tone she would scolding a child. “Besides, he’s no Patton Rory. I’m saving myself for the best, thank you very much.”
“Kay… you literally just hooked up with another guy.”
“Three guys. You didn’t think I’d spend a month in Hawaii flying solo, did you?”
Yikes.
“What if Patton found out?”
“What if? Okay, look, I know you’re not familiar with this sort of stuff, that’s cool, but guys like Patton, they get who they want, when they want. Like on demand. I bet he hooks up with girls all the time.”
Not true.
I know it isn’t, but the thought that he could makes my skin crawl. I roll my shoulders to shake off that imminent spider feeling.
Patton may have been like that once—we’ve barely spoken about his body count or old habits and at this point I don’t want to—but he’s not like that now.
“If that’s the case, what makes you think he’ll be interested in you?”
“Um, hello? Because I’m on his level. Come on, Lemmy, keep up. I’m the caviar and the rest are all bread girls.” She sighs. “Anyway, what are you doing with makeup? Are you seeing someone?”
Help me.
It’s burning the tip of my tongue, the truth about the only girl Patton Rory is seeing.
But if I do that, she’ll freak.
She’ll probably work overtime, grinding me into dust, especially if she thinks I ‘stole him’ right under her nose.
Not to my face, of course. She’d be sickly sweet and absolutely murderous behind my back.
First, she’ll tell everyone who’s anyone in this town that I’m just another ‘bread girl’ who slept with him to get ahead. I don’t have much of a social life and even fewer opportunities, and what little I do have revolves around Kayla and her favors.
Or if I confess to dating Patton, her grudges.
I don’t need her rumor mill spinning in overdrive and frankly, neither does Patton.
Also, if she finds out, she’ll tell my parents for sure. We haven’t spoken in years, but the second they get wind of it, they’ll be all over me.
Total circus.
I don’t even know if I’m ready to have them back in my life. Not without a real heartfelt apology, certainly.
“Yeah. It’s a date, I guess.” My shoulders sag. Truth and lies all wrapped up in one nice unit, so close you can’t tell where one ends and another begins. “He’s in real estate.”
Truth, but lie, because my intention is to deceive—and Kayla slurps it right up.
“So exciting!” she squeals. “Tell me where he’s at this instant. Out of ten?”
“Easy ten.”
“Oh, okay. But how would I rate him?”
I can’t bite back my smile. “You’d probably give him a ten, too, Kayla. He’s hot. Like Arizona heatwave.”
“Shut up!” She gasps. “I can’t wait to meet him. After you get Patton on board with me, we’ll do a double date.”
Hell no, we won’t.
Patton knocks and enters the room with Arlo in tow. He frowns at me, and I mouth Kayla’s name.
“Honestly, Kay, I can’t really do anything for you,” I say. “You guys have met several times. You’ll have to close the deal, right?”
She huffs a breath. “That’s a little selfish, Lemmykins. I bet if you arranged another few meetups, I could hit the zone. He’s probably just intimidated, but once I show him how down-to-earth I am, he’ll be smitten.”
Holy hell.
Her gross image of Patton is so different from the real deal it’s like calling a cartoon scribble a Picasso painting.
“I’ll see what I can do. No promises.”
“You’re the best, bestie,” she says, happy again. “I’ll pop on over soon. Say hi to Patton for me when you next see him. See ya!” The call, thankfully, ends.
I drop the phone back on the table with a groan. “Sometimes I hate that girl.”
Arlo clambers onto the big bed and starts bouncing before I stop him with a glare.
“Queen Bee Kayla is icky,” he informs me.
“Arlo! Whatever you do, keep that to yourself.” I want to tell him that isn’t nice, but the nickname rubbed off yours truly.
I never said I was perfect, okay?
“The boy’s right,” Patton cuts in. His voice is tight, and when I look at him, his eyes glitter with that sharp, suppressed anger. “And you’re damn lucky you hung up when you did, or I’d have been tempted to tell her what I think.”
“Patton, no—”
“It wouldn’t happen with her in a thousand years, even if I was single and dry as the Sahara.” He strides forward and kneels beside me. The sight of him kneeling by my chair is enough to make my heart flutter. “Never, Salem.”
I stroke my hands through his hair.
I’m not oblivious to the little eyes watching us.
We haven’t told Arlo everything, but after weeks together at Patton’s house, he’s pretty much figured out we’re dating. Kids deserve more credit than they get.
Thankfully, he just told me I’m cool for dating Patman, and that was the end of it.
A little anticlimactic after everything.
Still, Arlo retches at the sight of us kissing.
“I prefer flowers,” I remind him.
“And that’s why I let you finish the conversation. But you already know I’ve found my woman, right? She’s sitting right in front of me.” His voice softens. “And she looks like a knockout tonight.”
This time, I don’t let myself question it. I just press my lips to his while his hand finds my waist, nudging me closer.
“Ewwww, you guys!” Arlo screeches. “Gross! Mommy, stop. He can’t kiss you unless he beat a bad guy.”
His movie logic makes me break away with a laugh. I beam Patton one more quick smile.
The warmth in my chest unfurls as I replay his words.
You already know I’ve found my woman, right?
We haven’t spoken about forever, but at times like this, it doesn’t feel like an impossible dream.
Not today, maybe, but in a matter of months or years…
“Don’t bother with Kayla what’s-her-face anymore,” he says, standing. “I know you think she’s your friend and you owe her for this job, but all she does is trample you.”
“She doesn’t mean to. I guess.”
“Doesn’t she?” He lets the question hang in the air. “Salem, she knows exactly what she’s doing. The more you feel like you’re not good enough, the more you rely on her to make you good enough. It’s toxic as hell.”
I want to tell him he’s wrong, but he isn’t.
Truth be told, Kayla Persephone shouldn’t scare me.
It’s all in my head, and it has been for so long, this feeling I’m just not good enough.
As Patton picks up a squealing Arlo and carries him from the room, I find my bag. I just wish I wasn’t feeling down going into the family dinner.
How will a broke single mom look like she’s remotely good enough for him?
I hold in a massive sigh.
The trouble is, I want to give Arlo and Patton everything they deserve. If I could reach up and catch the moon with my bare hands and offer it to them so they know how much I care, I’d do it in an instant.
But everything good takes time, and good things come to those who wait.
In the meantime, let’s meet the fam and knock their socks off.