SWNOVELS Off-Ice Collision: Chapter 23
Seeing Hayden and Cameron was the last thing I expected to do today. After everything I had been through—how hard I worked to try and forget it all—all it took was seeing the two of them to dissolve the time and effort I had put in.
That’s partially a lie. I was a piece of shit until I came here. Until London walked into my life and gave me a deeper sense of purpose. There was nothing but good with that girl and she had really changed the way I was thinking and living life.
But none of that matters now. Not after seeing the two of them and being reminded of everything I lost.
I had no idea they would be here at the lake. Neither ever expressed having family here, so I’m sure they’re just staying in one of the bed-and-breakfasts or small motels along the lake. Since it’s summer, they were probably able to get some time away from hockey to come and spend a few days with their wives.
I was a complete asshole for not attending or acknowledging either of their wedding invitations, but why the hell would I want to go? Every single guy I played with at Wyncote is now playing for the NHL. They all made it. And I fucking didn’t.
I’m lost in a complete mindfuck, my knee throbbing as I pace around the first floor of our house. I completely blew off London, leaving her on the dock without a single word, but right now, I don’t even care. I can’t get the picture of Hayden and Cam out of my head. The two of them are living the life that I intended to live.
Grabbing my keys, I leave the house without a second thought. I end up at one of the bars along the lake. It’s a dive bar and not somewhere I would usually frequent, but fuck it. I want to get drunk and drink all my sorrows away. I’m no different than Maverick when it comes down to it. We both have our own problems and here I am choosing his way of dealing with them.
My mind is still reeling, swirling around with the thoughts of Hayden and Cam and the NHL as the bartender takes my order. I order a glass of bourbon and she brings it faster than I expected. She’s sweet and nice, but I’m not here to make friends. I just want to drink and forget.
The bartender walks back over to me as I drain my glass of bourbon and set it down. She looks at it and then back to me. “You want another one?”
“Keep them coming,” I tell her, my voice hoarse and thick with emotion.
When I went back in the house after our day on the boat, I watched London from the shadows as she walked over to her house. I don’t know what compelled me to do it—probably because subconsciously, I felt guilty for the way I instantly put distance between us.
Either way, it was for the best. She doesn’t belong with someone like me. She gave me hope that there was more to my life, but then it all collapsed without warning. There is no hope and all I would do is suck her down into the miserable pits of hell with me. London deserves someone who can give her more than I ever could.
I’m five drinks deep when some girl slides into the seat next to me. I glance over at her, squinting my eyes as I try to figure out if she’s someone I know or not. She looks familiar, yet I can’t put a name to her face. She has chestnut-colored hair pulled back in a ponytail. Her bright blue eyes search mine and she flashes her straight white teeth at me.
“Hey, Vaughn,” she says softly. “What are you doing here?”
“Do I know you?” I ask her, my eyebrows pulling together.
She laughs quietly, shaking her head. She directs her attention to the bartender and puts in an order for a vodka and Red Bull before returning her attention to me. “Of course you know me. We live on the same street and have since we were kids.”
“Oh shit,” I mumble, feeling the warmth of the alcohol spreading through me already. “Sorry, Charlotte,” I shrug. “We haven’t seen each other for a long time and I didn’t recognize you at first.”
“It’s perfectly fine. It has been quite a few years, so I wouldn’t expect you to remember me,” she replies with a smile. “You didn’t answer me, though. What are you doing here, getting drunk by yourself?”
I shrug. It is none of her business and I am not about to spill my heart to a girl who doesn’t matter. Charlotte isn’t London and she never will be. She’s one of the girls who hung out with all of us when we were younger, but it was never anything more than friends, and it never will be.
“What are you doing here?” I question her instead as I lift my fresh glass of bourbon to my lips and take a sip.
Charlotte sips her drink at the same time. “I was supposed to meet this guy here. Daniel. We work at the same marketing firm together in the city. I don’t know why the hell I suggested a shithole place like this. He’s staying at the lake at his grandparents’ house.” She pauses for a moment, glancing around the bar. “Doesn’t look like Daniel is here, though.”
“Did you try calling him or anything?” I ask her, the words sounding foreign as they slip from my lips. I don’t really give a shit about Charlotte and her problems. It doesn’t concern me. There’s something about talking to a stranger that makes things a little more mindless and easier.
Charlotte nods. “He didn’t answer, of course. Daniel is known to sleep around, though, so I’m sure it was all too good to be true. You know how those things go.”
I half snort. “Tell me about it. When your life gets turned upside down, everything is one hundred percent too good to be true.”
Charlotte’s eyebrows tug together. “What do you mean? You’re quite the pessimist, aren’t you?”
“I had everything going for me. An entire fucking future, and then it was ripped out from under my feet. I spent a lot of time sulking and trying to forget about it all. I came back here and things were actually going well. I kind of had a girl and I was feeling better. And then my past showed up…”
“And what?” Charlotte asks me, yet her voice is filled with annoyance. “So what if your past showed up. It’s your past, that doesn’t mean it has to change the way your life is going now.”
“It just made me realize a lot,” I argue, my heart pounding in my chest as frustration runs through my system. I drain my glass and hold it up to the bartender for another. At this point, she might as well just give me the bottle. “She deserves more than I could ever give her. It’s better if I just let her go now before things get complicated.”
“Did you ask her if she feels this way?” Charlotte throws back at me. “I don’t think that’s a decision you get to make on your own just because your past is making you question your future now.”
My lips part and I’m about to argue back with her, when another voice interjects.
“There you are,” a guy says from behind Charlotte. She turns around to face him, a smile stretching across her lips.
“Daniel!” she exclaims as she jumps to her feet and hugs him. “I didn’t think you were coming and thought I was going to be stuck with this ball of negative energy.” She glances at me and winks.
“Daniel,” he says as he holds his hand out to me.
“Vaughn,” I tell him, taking his hand and shaking it. “Charlotte and I grew up here together and she was just keeping me company until you came.”
Daniel smiles at Charlotte and it makes my heart hurt. Not because of who they are but because I could’ve had that with London if I just got my head out of my ass. Which is something I’m not mentally strong enough to do right now.
Charlotte waves at me and the two of them disappear over to a table together. I don’t pay them any more attention, and the liquor keeps flowing as I sit there and drink away my misery alone. I don’t know how many drinks deep I am, but when I find myself barely able to get off my barstool, I know that it’s time for me to go.
“Let me call you a cab,” the bartender tells me as she walks around the side of the bar to me.
I lean against her, my body swaying as the room spins slightly. “Nah, I can drive,” I slur the words, and I’m not sure she really understood me.
“We can give him a ride,” Daniel offers as he and Charlotte suddenly reappear. “Come on, buddy,” he says, sliding his arm under my armpits. “You shouldn’t be driving at all.”
“Fuck you,” I slur, stumbling as I try to walk along with him. “You don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do.”
“Just shut up and get in the car, Vaughn,” Charlotte scolds me as we reach one of their cars. After I get in the back, I can barely hold myself up and fall over onto my side instead. I think Charlotte is in the passenger seat and Daniel’s driving, but I really don’t know what the hell is going on.
All I know is, I need to sleep. I’m too drunk to handle any of this, and I have no one to blame but myself. I let my eyes fall shut and the movement of the car eventually lulls me to sleep as I’m sucked deep into the darkness.
When I wake up the next morning, my head is fucking pounding and my body aches. It feels like I’ve been hit by a Mack truck and I’m sure it has to do with the fact that I slept in the back seat of a car all night long. Daniel and Charlotte were kind enough to leave the windows cracked for me so I didn’t suffocate in my sleep. Although a part of me wishes they wouldn’t have bothered with the courtesy.
It takes a lot more effort than I imagined and my knee is throbbing by the time I hobble to the front door of what I think is Daniel’s house. The door is unlocked, so I let myself in and find the couch in his living room. The entire house is silent and I pull out my phone to check the time. I should have been at the shop an hour ago. There are at least two dozen missed calls and even more text messages on my phone.
Fuck it all. None of it matters anymore.
A ragged sigh slips from my lips and I power off my phone before I fall back asleep on what I’m hoping is Daniel’s couch.
Coming to the lake was a mistake. Nothing ever really changed…
I was just able to avoid reality for a little bit.